Chapter 7

Afew days later, Emma went below stairs to break her fast. A quick glance at the clock in the hallway showed it was minutes after nine in the morning. Everyone should be gathered below, and as hoped for, the dining room was alive with the laughter and joy of her family.

Another soft pang echoed through Emma when their faces lit with a smile upon her entry. Colin and Hermina, along with Phoebe, Penny, Julia, and their mother, were present and chatting animatedly while they ate.

"Emma, you are finally up," Julia cried, smiling. "I wanted to show you the new pianoforte that arrived only a few minutes ago. It is perfect."

Their youngest sister had a great love for music, and of course, Colin spoiled her rotten, importing a new piano from Paris because she swore this was the perfect one for her.

"I would love to see it," Emma said, smiling.

"And listen to my newest piece? It is an original."

"Of course."

Her sister made a delighted sound, and their mother smiled approvingly at Emma. As the eldest daughter in residence, she knew her mother relied on her to help shepherd her younger sisters. If their mother knew that she encouraged them to follow their hearts and not that of their grandaunt, mama would be very displeased.

They'd normally had breakfast with fourteen people around the table in Penporth. It was a rowdy and loving event that had been their day starter and felt as necessary as breathing air. She sat, reaching for the pound cake to take a healthy slice.

"What is this I hear from mama that you wish to visit Penporth?" Penny said around a mouthful of eggs. "Is it true, Emma?"

At a glare from their mother, Phoebe swallowed, her mouth then forming an unrepentant grin.

Emma glanced at her brother, who stared at her with an arched brow. She wrinkled her nose. "Yes, I broached the topic with mama only last night. I am finding the season…tedious. I have not returned to Penporth in almost two years and would like to visit."

"Shall I come with you?" Phoebe asked, looking a bit hopeful.

Emma loathed to disappoint her sister, but still, she spoke her truth. "Please, no. I…I find that I wish to be alone."

Phoebe seemed to read what Emma did not say, for her sister gave her a quick nod of support, and Emma smiled her thanks. Her mother and eldest brother shared a glance, and Emma swallowed her sigh. She swore that an entire conversation took place between them. Her mother had that special connection with all her children, it seemed. That look also informed Emma that mama had discussed her with Colin as she did with her departed husband. Emma found herself wanting to explain her discontent to her family. "I might scream if I attend another ball or picnic. I am not unhappy, mama; I am just frightfully bored. I…I just want to go home or perhaps sojourn to Bath."

Her mother dabbed her mouth with the napkin. "You are three and twenty, Emma. You'll not find a husband in Penporth."

"I'll not find one in London either, mama, because I am certainly not looking."

"Emma!" her mother snapped. "Have you ever opened your thoughts to consider that it is companionship you lack? A husband to call your own? Look at your siblings. They are very happy."

There was a small frown on her brother's face as he stared at her. Emma hated that concern as if she were lacking in some fashion.

"Do not look at me so, brother. Two years ago, you had no wish to marry either, and I daresay you were not thought to be defective for not having the desire," she said politely. "I should not be forced to decide now when I am not driven to marry!"

His eyes crinkled at the corner as his expression warmed. "Never would I think of any of my precious sisters as defective, Emma. I shall support you if you do not marry now or when you are thirty or even forty."

"Colin!" their mother cried, clearly aghast. "Do not support her in this nonsense!"

A swell of love rose inside her chest, and she smiled at Colin. Thank you, she mouthed. Hermina, his countess, and the best sister-in-law they could have asked for, deftly changed the conversation to a most anticipated event of the ton—the Duke of Shrewsbury's first midnight ball in a decade. Somehow this signaled to all the debutantes and mothers of the ton that the duke was ready to marry. This ball was not to be missed, and Emma dryly informed her mother she was not interested in that spectacle.

"The duke is terribly handsome," Julia said, "Penny and I saw him at Hyde Park only last week. I understand why everyone is aflutter. Even Penny lost her voice for a few seconds and blushed when he glanced at her. I"ve never seen Penny blush before."

Her sister in question glowered at Julia, who only tossed her a saucy wink.

"We should all attend this ball," Hermina said, her eyes alight with curiosity.

Emma rolled her eyes, and Penny's gaze sparkled at the idea of attending, but their mother carefully reminded her that she was not to attend any balls this season.

"Mama, I am eighteen and will be nineteen in a few months," Penny cried, her eyes flashing with rebellion.

"Be as it may, until Phoebe and Emma are married or engaged, you will not be out. Lady Celdon and I have decided on this, and that decision is firm."

"That is diabolically unfair to Penny," Phoebe said, cutting into her toast too vigorously. "We are not likely to marry soon!"

"Penny, you may blame your sisters if you end up an unmarried old maid," Mama said firmly.

Groans and cries of protest echoed around the table, and Emma laughed, arching a brow at the dark rebellion spied in Penny's eyes. Emma finished her breakfast in less than thirty minutes and excused herself with the firm intent of packing a small valise for her departure. At the bottom of the stairs, her hand on the banister, a sound made her turn around. Her brother walked toward her, his son clasped lovingly against his chest. A longing twisted through her, and she pressed a finger that trembled to her belly. The dual needs always surprised Emma, pushing her to question what she needed to feel content with her lot.

"Does your reason for going to Penporth have something to do with Viscount Barlow?"

Stunned, she gaped at Colin. "Viscount Barlow?"

"Yes."

"Of course not!"

Her brother watched her with a shrewdness that was discomfiting.

"Why do you ask?" she pushed out.

"A letter was delivered here on Tuesday. It was from the viscount."

Shock stole her breath, then anger poured through her. "That letter was for me?"

"Yes."

"Why did you not hand it over, Colin?"

He grimaced. "Nicholas mentioned…he observed an attachment between the two of you. He does not trust that attachment. I trust Nicholas; hence I trust his judgment."

She gripped the banister until her fingers ached. "How dare both of you interfere so in my life! You have no notion what that letter says. What if it was urgent?"

God, and to think, for the last few days, she had felt hurt that he had simply ignored her after their incredible night about the town and their wonderful kisses. Emma had pushed the feelings aside and directed her thoughts to other matters, but the shadow of hurt had lingered deep inside.

"You have no wish to marry as yet," Colin said firmly. "That tells me the viscount's pursuit is not honorable. I should bloody hunt him and let him know my feelings on the matter."

Emma marched over to him and jutted out her chin. "When Hermina attended to you to teach you decorum lessons, was your pursuit of her honorable, or did you only want to make her your mistress or lover?"

Her brother scowled. "Bloody hell, Emma, that is entirely different. I—"

"It is not different," she hissed. "Should I choose to take some risk…the same risk Lizzy took when she sneaked out to meet her duke or when Ester slipped out to be with Edmond Glendevon, I can do that, Colin!"

Understanding lit in his eyes and he sighed. Reaching into his pocket, he removed the letter and handed it to her. Emma took it with trembling fingers, unable to imagine what David had written.

"Did you open it?"

"No," Colin said thoughtfully, cradling his sleeping son firmer against his chest.

"Thank you."

He brushed a finger against her chin. "Promise me you will be discreet and very careful. It is not only our reputation that we put at risk with our willful desires, Emma."

She inclined her head in grudging acknowledgment of that. "I will be careful, Colin. I promise it."

He searched her face for a few beats. "Good. If you are in trouble with anything, you will tell me."

"Always," she whispered. "Colin?"

"Yes."

She hesitated a moment, then asked, "What else do I risk?"

He stared at her for a long moment before saying, "Your heart being destroyed."

She sucked in a harsh breath. "Destroyed? Surely you are overthinking the matter."

"I have seen the viscount with Nicholas enough to understand he is not a man who believes in any sentiments. I have seen him looking at you…and it is always with hunger and nothing soft."

Emma could only stare at Colin in helpless shock. "You…you've seen him watching me?"

Her brother"s gaze hooded, and before her stood the man who had become a powerful and influential earl in only two years.

"If he hurts you, Emma, I will not forgive him."

"The viscount won't hurt me," she said hoarsely, gripping the letter until the paper crumbled. "I do not want his heart, so I shall not be pained or discomfited if he withholds it."

She tipped and pressed a kiss to her brother's cheek, then whirled away and raced to her bedchamber, ripping open the letter with impatient fingers.

Dear Miss Fairbanks,

I regret that I must postpone the tempting and delightful shenanigans I planned for you. An urgent matter has called me away to Benbow Hall, my principal estate in Hampshire. I have no idea when I will return to town, and I implore you to stay away from all other scoundrels, or I might do something foolish or dramatic.

A laugh slipped from her, and she went to her window and sat on the ledge.

I anticipate seeing you again soon, Emma. I even believe I shall miss you. A rather incredible thing, for I have never missed another in my life.

Yours,

Viscount Barlow

A soft breath shuddered from her, and Emma admitted then that in the days she'd not heard from him, she had painfully missed the viscount's calming presence. She grinned, and suddenly Emma knew it was not to Penporth she would travel. What would he say or do when he saw her? She chuckled, leaning back and allowing Lord Peter to lick her chin before settling down on her lap.

Colin had been generous in making sure his sisters had an allowance that would be more than sufficient for their needs. Emma had been careful with his beneficence, and as she preferred to wear simple gowns, she had haggled a little with her modiste to keep her expenditure down. So, she had enough funds to travel to Hampshire, and she was sure she would be able to locate Benbow Hall by the simple expedience of looking it up in a book in the library that listed the stately homes of England. With that information, she would be able to hire a post chaise, and their maid Martha had been with them forever and was discreet. Colin would insist she travel with her. Colin and her family would assume she had gone to Penporth, so she should not be searched for.

It was outrageous and unspeakably wonderful.

Lord Peter, I am heading toward an adventure. The scandalous kind.