4. RUPTURE

four

RUPTURE

W et slaps of bare feet barrelling down the passageway echoed, the chill of stone harsh against his skin. Oliver shoulder-barged into Maji's hovel, slamming the door shut behind him and collapsing against it. Each desperate breath he took was pitched, catching in the centre of his chest before he forced it out. He pushed himself to inhale, to exhale. To avoid thinking about the cloud of red, the caved-in face. The man he'd just murdered.

"You forgot to get dressed."

Lucetta's words wrenched Oliver's horror-struck stare onto her. His mouth parted around a strangled response.

"What's wrong?" Maji lowered the plant she'd been holding right in front of Tau's face.

"L–Lauper."

Lucetta bolted upright, brows knotted as she looked him up and down. "Did he attack you?"

"Dead," was all Oliver managed. Fierce shivers rinsed his spine, turning his legs to jelly.

He wobbled back to the bed and collapsed against Tau, who caught him and eased Oliver into his lap. Secured his arms around him, too, the embrace nearly swallowing Oliver whole.

Maji appeared before him. "Your hand!"

Oliver glanced at it, loosely curled around Tau's biceps. A sense of numbness overtook panic. Finger bones had snapped, the knuckles at odd angles, blood thinned by lingering water. Tau's sharp nails tucked into his hair and held it. Oliver's eyes fluttered as sunlight encompassed his hand, easing away the pain of well-placed hits, sliding bones and knuckles back into place.

"Tell us what happened." Lucetta stood by the window, peering through a slit in the curtains.

Oliver took the terry cloth Maji offered him and dried himself as best he could while Tau still had him clamped down.

"Lauper—I hit him."

No need to explain further. One look at Lucetta told him she understood. If he had hit anyone hard enough to break his own hand, that person was dead. There was no wishful thinking strong enough to deny that reality.

Lauper was a goner. He'd killed him.

Oliver bit his lower lip, trying to subdue the trembling in his hands as he rubbed the cloth against his chest hard enough to leave his skin raw. Tau tugged his hair again, pulling his head back—and out of the depths he sunk into.

"Right. Stay here, I'm going to get some things." Lucetta was gone before Oliver could think of what to say.

He barely noticed Maji taking the terry cloth away from him. He melted against Tau's firm body, arms tightening their hold on him, as if to squeeze away the gruesome images flashing up every time Oliver blinked.

Outside, people clamoured, their shadows slipping past bright yellow curtains. The guards would have been alerted by now. They were likely looking for him, ready to throw him out of the mine, into a prison to be forgotten about. He would die by some self-induced injury and Tau would be on his own.

And for what?

Oliver tensed his jaw, coiling his arms around Tau's.

Lauper had harassed him since the day he got cursed. He might not have deserved to be socked to death, but Oliver didn't think he deserved to be locked away for an arsehole, either.

The door creaked open, and his heart slammed into his ribcage. Lucetta slipped inside, shutting away some of the racket shortly after. Oliver slipped free of the encompassing hold, ready to announce he was going to flee with Tau.

"I'm—"

Clothes were thrust against him, along with his old rucksack and the wool coat Lucetta let him borrow on occasion. Oliver hastily dressed, slipping into socks and boots, shrugging the fur mantle back on. Maji had started to pack her own bag, and Lucetta's was filled with things for travel—clothes, even canned goods, some of which she collected from Maji's cupboards.

Lucetta's eyes flicked to Oliver as if to check on him, before they slid over to Maji and rolled slightly. "You need to pack clothes , not your plants."

Maji looked up in anguish while trying to ease the Touch-Me-Not into her rucksack. The bird-like blooms flapped wildly as if in indignation. "I can't leave them behind. They'll die!"

"Don't worry," said Lucetta, calmly. "I asked Helen and Anna to take care of them for you."

"But a lot of them need special care! Without Tau, there'll be no sunlight for them, either."

"Maybe Tau would be willing to let the light here stay?" Lucetta turned toward the reticent Sentinel, still on the bed.

"Neither of you are coming with me," said Oliver, doing his best to sound authoritative. "I'm not dragging you down with me."

Behind him, Tau must have nodded, since Lucetta offered Maji a reassuring smile and ignored Oliver entirely.

"See? Your plants will be fine."

"I'm going alone with Tau!" Oliver shouted. "There's no point in ruining your lives for me. I'm not worth it!"

"Uh-huh. Still going with you." Lucetta straightened up, casually flicking the rucksack flap forward and fastening it. "Your money's in your bag Ollie, and some more clothes."

Oliver groaned in frustration. "I appreciate what—"

"It's high time we went to look for Ben, don't you think?" said Lucetta.

His lips thinned into a line. "Luce."

Lucetta regarded Maji. "You don't need to come, you know."

"Of course I do," Maji snapped, maybe more vehemently than intended. Done packing, she dove into her brown fur coat and moved to stand beside Lucetta.

"Right." Lucetta swung her rucksack over her shoulders. "We need to sneak out of here. Can you transport us outside?"

Despite Oliver's loud, frustrated sigh, Tau rose behind him. He curled a hand over Oliver's shoulder and pulled him toward Lucetta and Maji until they were clustered. Oliver pressed his face into Tau's side.

A frosty breeze whisked his hair. He inhaled, eyes squeezing shut against the jitters turning his guts upside down.

"Like rain on a spring day," whispered Maji, coming away from Tau with an enchanted look.

Oliver's faint huff disappeared into the wind pulling around the base of the mountain peak. Fresh grass peered through thin layers of snow, the sky a crisp blue with faint flicks of white scattered across its expanse.

"I suppose we're walking from here." Snow crunched under Lucetta's boots as she stepped away. "If we go through the forest but stick close to the road, hopefully we won't get lost or spotted."

And hopefully, Ondine wouldn't reappear with those damned blue double doors. A sentiment that lay heavy between them, unspoken.

"You two shouldn't come. I don't want you to," Oliver said with an impatient shake of his leg.

"It'll probably still be light by the time we reach Plainwalll, so we'll need to stay hidden until it gets dark. I'm guessing they'll have more guards there looking for us."

"Luce!"

Pointless. Lucetta headed for the forest line. Maji scampered after her, leaving Oliver to look at their backs in defeat. He rubbed his forehead, then regarded Tau.

"Are you okay?" he asked, quietly. "I didn't even ask if you wanted to come with me, sorry."

A graceful bow brought the bottom part of Tau's face to the top of Oliver's head. He took that as a kiss and deflated, linking their hands and pulling Tau along to trot after his friends.

He would have to convince them to go back some other way.

Layers of glimmering white thinned near the forest. Crossing its threshold, it occurred to Oliver that even Tau had been sinking into the snow, his footfalls for once audible. He was as stoic as ever, but had Oliver not spent the last five years admiring him, he wouldn't have noticed the faint slouch in those broad shoulders. There were no traces of blood trickling from under the mask, but that did little to comfort when Tau's radiance was still gone.

A thick silence lingered around them despite the scrunch of pine needles underfoot. When the unmistakable sound of automobiles rumbling down dirt and gravel penetrated the forest's hush, Lucetta ducked low and motioned for Oliver and Tau to do the same. Tau doubled over. It was adorable, but not very effective when he wasn't bending his knees.

"Oh never mind," Lucetta hissed. "Stay here. I'll go have a look."

She disappeared into the brush at a low crouch. Oliver squeezed Tau's fingers, clasping the vambrace with his other hand. Quietly, he watched his Sentinel, still doubled over, staring at the ground.

If Ondine showed, he wouldn't let go this time. No matter what.

Worry pinched the spot between Lucetta's brows once she returned. She gestured for them to stay crouched until far away from the road.

Bushes snagged and roots tripped. By the time they reached the other end of the forest, the sun had begun its decline into late afternoon. Past the shaded pines, an expanse of bright green grass whispered ghost-like in the wind. The river snaking around Plainwall rumbled in the distance, turbulent with meltwater.

Lowering to her haunches, Lucetta peered out from behind underbrush, Maji just behind her. Oliver guided Tau to sit at the foot of a tree, worry gnawing at his stomach like he did his lower lip.

Something was wrong, Oliver knew there was, but he didn't want to risk exhausting Tau further by asking to talk to him. Instead, he shifted to stand between Tau's outstretched legs and brushed his fingers over the pointed hood.

"Are you okay?" he asked, whispering.

A curt nod, but Oliver wasn't convinced.

"I need to borrow Sigma's magic," said Oliver, louder this time.

"You can't make anything here." Lucetta came to kneel by Tau. "There are guards all over the bridge. They might see or feel it. We need to wait until nightfall and hope they'll be gone by then."

Plainwall only had two entrances. Cliffs and a tall wall blocked all other access. There was no way to cross the river any other way, its current too violent to allow trespass.

"But he's not feeling well," said Oliver.

Maji sat crossing her legs on Tau's other side, looking up at him in concern. Oliver hoped she would ignore Lucetta and help him. She didn't.

Lucetta gave Tau a once-over. "You going to be alright?"

Another nod, and again, Oliver didn't believe him, desperately hoping Tau wouldn't transform into a giant marble, something he'd done twice already.

As nightfall snuffed the last traces of dusk, a strained groan stirred Oliver from where he leaned against Tau's chest with his back, the Sentinel's long legs folded under him like a cradle. Lucetta had risen, now a faint shadow against the slivers of star-lit skies. She peered out from the bushes again and sighed, frustrated.

"They're still there," she said. "There's a narrow path against the cliff outside the wall, but to get there we need to be in town. It's right by Marcy's."

"See, this is why you two should go back," Oliver prompted, hopefully. "I can cross the river."

Lucetta snorted. "Nice try, but we both know the current would drag you away like a twig."

Tau rose and took Oliver with him, an arm around his abdomen keeping him afloat. The other arm he extended in invitation. Maji and Lucetta's shadowed figures approached and before he knew it, Oliver had to wriggle about to make room for an awkward group embrace.

He was happy enough to dangle there, but squawked when they lifted off the ground and Lucetta yelped into his ear. Her fingernails dug into his neck and her legs twisted around him like roots. Pine branches and wind lashed Oliver's head, his stomach lurching as they launched high into the air. For a staggering moment, they were suspended high above, the sky inky, stars scintillating, the icy wind clawing his face. Were it not for Lucetta's shoulder pressing into his throat, Oliver might've been able to enjoy the flight over town. Gabled rooftops varnished with the last signs of a stubborn winter drew into clearer view. Timber and stone slipped past, but his toes didn't connect with the uneven cobblestone below. Tau's hold remained firm around his stomach, and he showed no signs of wanting to let go.

Thankfully, Lucetta did. She stumbled back, brows tangled and face set with fury. "You could have warned us!"

Oliver snickered. He couldn't help it, she was terrified of heights. Fortunately, his mirth didn't infuriate Lucetta further, her expression only softened.

"Pillocks, the both of you," she muttered.

Still pendent, Oliver's gaze strayed to Maji. She staggered away, looking equally ruffled. They were at the back of the Crowded Foxhole Inn, lit by a wall-mounted gas lantern that mostly served to cast stark shadows in an already adumbrated alleyway.

"I want to say bye to Marcy," Oliver said, just as the back door swung open. Gold light from within framed a burly silhouette holding a bucket. "Marcy!"

Marcy shrieked, undignified and delightfully raw. Flung the bucket at Lucetta, too, who dodged it with a fluid sideways dip. It slammed into a nearby crate, startling a stray cat into fleeing with a hiss.

"Sorry, Marcy! It's just us." Lucetta kept her voice low. Never mind the racket they just caused, the bucket now rolling to spill food waste.

"You scared the life out of me!"

Benjamin's long-time friend and owner of the inn, Marcy always wore the prettiest of dresses. A green polka-dotted dress, this time, her frilly white apron rather stained. She closed the back door with a snap and faced them—and jumped with another cry once she caught sight of Tau.

Oliver suppressed his amusement this time, patting Tau's vambrace until released. His chest throbbed slightly from where he'd been dangling, the hobnails on his soles scraping across the stone.

"It's okay, it's just Tau." Lucetta comfortingly rubbed her forearm when Marcy visibly began to tremble.

"I don't understand!" said Marcy. "I–I saw Sentinel Tau after the Horror attack. Then a day after, They were declared expired in the papers?"

"Yeah, he does that," said Oliver.

"Listen," Lucetta continued, "we're going after Ben, so we're headed for Malimoure."

Marcy tore her thunderstruck look away from Tau, turning it onto Lucetta instead. "What? Why on Earth would you go there?"

Sharp pinpricks snagged Oliver's sleeve, pulling his arm. He pivoted, his heart nearing to a stop as Tau crumpled to his knees.

"Tau!"

Oliver stooped to fold him into an embrace, keeping him from toppling like a felled tree. Tiny green leaves whirled into existence at his feet, swirling upward to engulf Tau, their yellow glow, though faint, near blinding so close to Oliver's face.

Maji was trying to heal Tau, and Oliver whispered his thanks.

"You're…magical?" asked Marcy in astonishment.

"We uh, borrowed it, I guess," said Lucetta. "We just wanted to say bye before we head off. I'm sorry we haven't been around to see you after…"

"Don't worry about it," said Marcy. "Let me get you some provisions, if you're going that far."

She disappeared inside the inn before anyone could respond. When he was sure Tau wouldn't collapse, Oliver unfurled his arms and pressed a kiss to his forehead. He ignored Maji's startled gasp, the whirlwind of leaves dissipating as the back door's creak announced Marcy's return.

She held out two paper bags for Lucetta to take. "Here. It's not much, but it should tide you over for a bit."

"Thank you," said Lucetta. "We have some money, finally, so we can pay you."

Marcy waved a dismissive hand. "Absolutely not." Then, without giving Lucetta an opportunity to put the bags away, pulled her into what looked like a crushing hug. "Sam always talked about you, you know."

While Oliver couldn't see Lucetta's face, the tension drawing into her shoulders was visible. When she pulled away, her smile was strained.

"Thanks, Marce," she said. "We'll find Ben and bring him back."

Marcy's gaze flicked back to Tau, momentarily straying to the way Oliver clung to him. "You're going with Sentinel Tau? They might stand out a bit."

"As long as Pavlov doesn't hear about him being alive, we'll be okay," said Lucetta. "It's better if no one knows you saw him."

"I won't say a word."

Oliver helped guide Tau back up. He rubbed the firm chest, ensuring he was steady on his feet before Oliver took his turn embracing Marcy. She readily pulled him in, the brawny hold wringing the breath out of him.

"You take care of yourselves, you hear?"

Maji got in afterward, her tiny frame easily swallowed by Marcy's broadness. With final hushed goodbyes, they turned down the alleyway. Dark and damp, the blue and red gleam of cat eyes peered at them from between barrels and planks of wood.

Oliver climbed the crates near the end after Lucetta and Maji, placing both hands over Maji's round backside to help her ascend the walls. Oliver wasn't any taller than Lucetta, but he was limber and quick to scale the wall and vault over it past her.

What little grace he possessed fled the moment his feet connected with the ground. He stumbled forward, spilling into a path resigned to mud and grass. He ignored Lucetta's stifled chortle, pointlessly wiping at the dirt now staining what was still her coat. Righting himself, he reached up to grab Lucetta's thighs as she reluctantly slid down the wall. It wasn't that high, but she still seemed uncomfortable. Her boots mashed the mud, and she and Oliver exchanged a look.

Tau had yet to show. Oliver approached the wall again to make the climb back, but paused at the appearance of a figure above him. Effortlessly, Tau landed beside him, sodden grass squelching underfoot.

"Show off," Lucetta muttered.

Sludge gradually changed to rough stone, the path carved out under the cliffs illuminated only by lights pouring in from the occasional window reaching beyond the wall. Their footfalls echoed, jarring an otherwise silent night. Oliver hadn't known about this path, and wondered how Lucetta found it.

"It's going to be a long walk to Clathestead's train station," Lucetta murmured. "We'll need to go on foot as much as we can if we want to afford the train to Malimoure."

Maji walked closely beside her, ahead of Oliver, who grunted as Tau slid an arm around his shoulders and leaned on him. Despite his inhuman strength, keeping Tau upright was a struggle. His boyfriend was megalithic, already a strain on his knees.

"No more magic for you," Lucetta said, walking backwards. "Not until you're feeling better."

"Is that why you keep holding his hand?" Maji asked, and Oliver faltered.

He didn't know how to respond to that. Maji was not romantically inclined, but she couldn't be that innocent, could she?

Lucetta snorted in amusement. "No, they hold hands because they're in love."

Embarrassment crept up Oliver's neck to scorch his ears and face, and he wasn't even sure why . "Yeah, well, when are you two going to get it over with and make it official?"

He hadn't meant to say that.

Lucetta's eyes momentarily widened, then she smirked at him. She turned back around, while Maji gave him a look of utmost confusion. Bless her.

"So…are we just going to get on a train with Tau?" asked Maji.

"Don't know how else we'll travel with him," Lucetta said, then glanced over her shoulder. "Unless you want to turn into a big marble again so we can cover you up?"

Words meant to tease, Oliver thought, but his mood took a further dive and he glared at her. That was a state considered dead by Pavlov. That Lucetta would even suggest it made him want to pelt her with a pebble.

Besides a few scares from skittering rats, and a cat Maji tried to pet—without success—their journey along the cliffs went peacefully. They reached Plainwall's edge and headed down a riskier route through a short tunnel. Overhanging pine trees shielded from watchful eyes, the thundering river beyond masking their unsteady footfalls. Loose stones clattered with each precarious step, torrential cascades vibrated the ground and misted the path, turning it slick and treacherous.

Maji lurched forward, her hands shooting out to grasp at Lucetta to stop herself from taking the quick way down, only to drag Lucetta with her. The two slid on their rears alongside rocks, their startled cries swallowed by the river. Oliver was no less clumsy, but he had Tau to keep him from falling, whose grace made climbing mossy rocks look elegant.

Hours must have passed before they finally reached more level ground, where a path made narrow by trees and underbrush led them through an open forest. Although they were low enough on the mountain that snow was no longer an issue, it remained bitter and damp.

Forced to form a single file, Oliver walked ahead of Tau, his boyfriend's arms around his shoulders were heavy. Any moment now, Oliver was sure his legs would break under the strain. Struggling with what felt like a mountain on his shoulders made it easier not to think about other things, at least.

Things like leaving the only home he had. That he'd ruined everything. For himself, for Tau, Maji, and Lucetta.

That he'd killed someone, and couldn't take it back.

Oliver grit his teeth. The long limbs around him squeezed a little tighter.

"How much further?" asked Maji, slouching after Lucetta leading the way.

"Far," said Lucetta dismissively.

"You can still go back," Oliver strained.

"Not happening," Lucetta's tone held finality.

Guilt ensnared his insides, cutting him raw. Maybe he should pick them both up and hurl them back up the mountain, then make a break for it.

True to Lucetta's word, they walked far. There weren't many places to rest, stinging nettle and bramble encasing them on either side. Never mind that they had no camping gear, forced to walk until well into the morning.

The sun lurked behind grey gloom, the presage of rain seeping into Oliver's bones. Conversation was sparse, not that he had the mind to talk when every time he closed his eyes, he saw disarranged eyeballs and a crushed nose inside a cavern of bone and blood. And every time, anger gurgled up. Anger at himself, mostly, but at Lauper too, for being such a crusty swive-smear.

Tau's hold on him tightened again, pulling Oliver back from the depths of his head.

Clathestead's old walls slowly lurched into view, the path widening to curve around a boscage where it joined the main road beyond barren trees. Before rounding the corner, Lucetta stopped and regarded Oliver.

"Stay here. I'll scout ahead and see if Pavlov sent anyone here to look for you." She reached into her rucksack, freeing one of the food bags, and tossed it at Maji.

"I'll come with you," said Maji, passing the bag to Oliver.

"Alright. Stay out of sight, you two."

Oliver watched after them, his gaze drifting up to the smokestacks in the distance, exhaling fumes, tarnishing the horizon with a briny haze. He'd not been here for years. Had come through only once to reach the Tesera Mine.

No longer his home.

He was wanted for murder.

Panic clenched his chest. Oliver buried his face in his hands, appalled with himself for the sob that quaked his body. The arms around his shoulders pulled him back until he rested against Tau's long body.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, not sure which regret he was apologising for. There were too many.

Tau guided him to a fallen tree off the path, old and damp and mossy. He lowered to it and pulled Oliver into his lap. Tucked against his boyfriend and wrapped in a comforting hold, Oliver was ready to crumble again. He didn't understand why, when touching Tau always eased his worries.

He muttered another apology. Tau would have other things on his mind, and he wasn't feeling well. Ensuring his face was free of snot, at least, Oliver pressed a desperate kiss to the unblemished face. Tau's hands soothed down his back.

"I love you." So intensely, it torched his heart. "I'll figure things out. We'll find someplace to hide for a while until everything blows over."

Then he'd focus on finding Ondine and kill her, so she would never again get her hands on Tau.

"Hey, buddy."

Oliver started, only now aware of the crunch of soggy tree litter under Lucetta's feet. She tossed the paper bag into his lap. "You dropped this."

He hadn't even realised. "Sorry."

Maji perched on the tree to his left, and Lucetta sat on his right.

"If you eat a sandwich, I'll give you Sigma's magic so you can make some lights for Tau," said Lucetta.

Oliver rammed his hand into the bag and stuffed the first thing his fingers found into his mouth. It might have been a cucumber sandwich. Lucetta clicked her tongue, helping herself to a dry-cured sausage before tossing the bag to Maji.

"City's crawling with Pavlov's guards." Lucetta sighed, stretching her legs out. "We're going to have to walk to Donmere."

"That's really far from here, isn't it?" Oliver wiped away the crumbs he'd dusted Tau's stomach with.

"Three days' walk."

"Oh, but that's so far," Maji whined. "Can't we go by cabriolet?"

"Not unless we can fold Tau double," said Lucetta. "It'll be hard enough to get him on a train."

A chuckle burst out of Oliver before he could help it as he pictured what that would look like. "Can you imagine people's reactions when we bring a Sentinel on a train?"

"Whatever it'll be, let's hope word doesn't reach Pavlov any time soon." Lucetta stared ahead of her. "Unless…Ondine already knows. I never asked how he escaped."

"Shit," muttered Oliver. "I didn't either."

Lucetta pursed her lips, reaching into her shirt's breast pocket and handing over Sigma's heart.