22. UNCLARITY

twenty-two

UNCLARITY

O liver hadn't thought anything could get rockier than rock. Yet there he was, standing amid some of the roughest, grainiest formations he'd ever seen, gold sand a perpetual trickle from the surrounding escarpment. Within the dusty walls lay the open-pit Dio Mine, all its inhabitants hidden inside their homes. Dry mud walls with disjointed doors and crooked windows, tucked away in stopes.

He squinted against the sun above, merciless in its heat, and sidestepped a cascade of sediment as the ground shook beneath his feet. A few levels below was Tau, kicking apart a surging wave of rocks, flicking pieces of it back at Rho with casual ease. It looked more like they were playing a game, if the game was a toddler trying to fight his adult brother for dominance.

The amused snort that escaped Oliver echoed. Rho was a particularly large Sentinel, hulking over Tau by several heads, their stone armour large but refined. More like a statue chiselled by a skilled hand. Each of their steps sent dust pluming, and as Tau delivered his final light sphere to explode against Rho's chest, They fell to the earth with an even greater dustfall.

Only once his boyfriend flagged him down did Oliver slip out from the shade, down several benches into blistering heat to reach him. Tau didn't seem to mind the sweat causing Oliver's shirt to cling to his skin, enveloping him with long arms. He buried his face against the powerful stomach and clung on, feeling his feet leave the ground and hot air whip around him.

They lowered to a stone pathway hemmed in by chaparral. The sun was no less unforgiving here, and Oliver stepped away to wipe sweat from his forehead with a hand equally clammy. As much as he wanted to take some time to be alone with Tau, he was burning, the mantle doing absolutely nothing to cool him down.

He ignored the way Tau held him by his little finger only as they strode up a hill, to a moderately sized building overlooking a sweeping sea. Oliver couldn't blame him, really. He'd been sweating all day and by now, could smell his own musk.

Shuffling up the rocky path, an odd looking stone shot away from his foot. Oliver squinted against the bright sun as he gathered it and held it up for inspection. An ordinary stone, aside from reddish protrusions. He pocketed it.

While Tau had to duck through the doorway, he was able to stand upright without the ceiling touching the tip of his pointed hood. That had to be a nice change of pace for him, Oliver thought.

His friends were in the lounge where he'd left them, draped across the settee and chairs. As much as they had wanted to come along, the heat had decided for them to stay. None of them were accustomed to such temperatures, Oliver's skin already reddened and delicate to the touch.

"Same as before. So, probably," he said before any of them could ask if Rho would join their cause.

"I can't believe they have miners of the year," said Maji as they moved down a corridor, its walls lined with photographs of rugged faces and even an Ursidae.

"As if trying to compete with the lucky ones isn't hard enough already," said Lucetta, "they get their faces up in hotels."

Oliver turned to Tau, again holding his finger. His gaze momentarily flicked to Samuel and Benjamin skulking behind them. "Maybe we can take a photo together, you and me?"

Whether Tau understood or not, he readily nodded. Oliver suspected he'd agree to any of his suggestions, regardless of how wild.

Something he would certainly put to the test later.

Their room was airy and bright. Wind chimes that clacked and lilted adorned an array of seaside windows. It was lovely, aside from the fact he would have to share it with everyone else. Lucetta mumbled something about the dowdy decor, dropping her rucksack to the floor and flopping into the nearest bed. It was midafternoon, but after the flight and a long drive on a road not meant for automobiles, they were all sore and exhausted.

Oliver squirmed his finger out of Tau's pinching hold and casually dropped the stone he'd found next to Lucetta's head. It rolled down into her hair, frizzier than usual, and she grunted, holding it in front of her and squinting against the sprinkling of dirt coming off it.

"Where did you find this?"

He shrugged. "On the path. What is it?"

"Pretty sure it's ruby." She lightly poked the reddish bits. "Aren't you the lucky one?"

Lucetta tried to hand it back, but Oliver waved it aside. He wanted for nothing, after all. Aside from some time alone with Tau.

He claimed the bed closest to the windows, hoping the night would bring some reprieve with a dash of cool air. It was only a small bed. They all were, but he'd be fine sleeping atop Tau. He tossed his own rucksack to the floor nearby, ready to collapse into his boyfriend who had already settled on the bed's edge.

"If we sleep now, we won't get a wink of it tonight," said Samuel, ever the sensible one. Something that was beginning to work on Oliver's nerves. "Let's go and get something to eat."

Bags and unworn jumpers were left behind as his friends filed out the room, although Oliver remained standing by Tau. Samuel, in the process of closing the door, raised his eyebrows at him.

"Come," he said, "I'm sure you're hungry."

Oliver shook his head. "Nah. I want to spend time with Tau. Alone ." When Samuel showed signs of protest, he added, "We've been all over the place and no one's tried to arrest me for touching him. They're not going to barge in here."

Samuel hesitated long enough to fill Oliver with dread. He didn't want to fight Samuel on this, or anything else for that matter. He had never been able to outargue him before his disappearance, something that hadn't miraculously changed in the last few months of travelling.

Thankfully, the man gave Tau a long, deliberating look before he went, his reluctance as plain as the door's click . Leaving Oliver alone with his boyfriend, at long last, with nothing but the sound of crashing waves in the distance and the melody of driftwood chimes.

Sharp fingers immediately set on his hips, pulling him backward to the bed, and into Tau's lap. Long arms twisted around his torso and squeezed, a level face nuzzling the crook of his neck.

"I need to wash up first," Oliver said. "Sweat's dry, but I'm dirty."

Tau didn't seem to care, easing him down to lie atop that long body. Oliver pressed his lips to the curve of a smooth cheek, and again. Delivering tiny, delicate kisses that grew into lingering, sluggish brushes. His eyes fluttered with a mixture of exhaustion and comfort, the large hand soothingly stroking up and down his back crumbling his willpower to stay awake.

"I'm going to fall asleep like this," he mumbled, and moved to rest his cheek against the forever silent chest.

First time alone with Tau since they left the steppes. He didn't want to waste it sleeping. Especially not with the prospect of making love again. If he'd known sex was that mind-bendingly, almost horrifyingly good, he would have surely never worked a day in his life, enslaved by getting filled instead. Or maybe it was only with Tau that sex felt that insane. Oliver had little to compare it to.

"Wash," he slurred, fighting a losing battle against keeping his eyes open. "I need to wash."

Then they could have sex. Lots of it, hopefully.

Voices tugged Oliver to a world he wasn't ready to face yet. Until he remembered that world included Tau, who did not sleep. Who laid beneath him, motionless but for the subtle shift of his hand, still stroking his back. White walls had become a dusky yellow by gas lights, the sky outside completely dark.

"Damnit," he croaked, clumsily pressing an apologetic kiss to Tau's cheek. The response was a comforting pat to his rump.

Oliver slid off, fatigue stiffened muscles painful as he stood and faced a room full of his friends, idly chatting, playing a game of cards and enjoying tea and sandwiches. Well, at least he'd roused in time for food, and neither the Fae or their guard bears were there to tease him about his inability to keep a straight face while playing.

"Sorry," he mumbled to Lucetta and Maji, rubbing the sleep from his eyes with the base of his palm. "I didn't mean to fall asleep."

"Don't be silly." Maji flashed him a smile. "Freshen up and eat something? The restroom is four doors down the hall."

With a smile over his shoulder at Tau still lying on the bed, Oliver shuffled out the room. The hallway was empty, wall lights sparse.

Four doors down. Right. He couldn't count. He wasn't sure which way was supposed to be down, either.

Swiving Sentinels.

Oliver took a chance by going right, hoping to find a door that looked restroom-like, when a click sounded behind him and he pivoted.

"Uhm."

He hadn't expected Benjamin to come after him, let alone approach with a look of uncertainty. The most he'd done the past few months was sulk and glare, only to pretend like he hadn't been staring every time Oliver caught him.

"It's this way," said Benjamin, walking past to lead the way, presumably. He stopped at a door with gold lettering glinting in the low light and held it open.

"Uh."

Oliver hated that he couldn't think of anything to say, but what could he say to a man who had hurt him in ways he never thought possible? The push hadn't been that painful, really, but as he passed him by and Benjamin shifted, Oliver flinched away.

The look of horror on Benjamin's face dashed any hope he hadn't seen that.

Oliver dove toward the sink, where he unbuckled the mantle and carefully set it atop pristine brown marble. Avoided looking in the mirror too, in particular because Benjamin hesitantly walked up to him.

"Oliver."

"What? If you need to bury a lump, just do it."

More hesitation, and some stammering. "I… Do you–do you want some help?"

"Not really."

Now why did he feel guilty, being so dismissive? Oliver ducked his head low, refusing to look at Benjamin while undoing the straps of his overalls. He thought Benjamin might leave, but instead, he positioned himself directly behind him. When he said nothing, his heat radiating into Oliver's back, Oliver forced himself to look up and meet amber eyes through the mirror.

Benjamin hadn't yet fully recovered, but didn't look as sallow. His eyes, however, would likely hold that haunted look forever. Oliver himself had to shake off creeping unease, the kind he never felt when around Tau. He wasn't used to feeling discomfited any longer, and it drew the muscles across his back painfully tight.

Dusky lips moved around unspoken words, uncertainty flickering in those troubled eyes. Finally, Benjamin said his name again. Oliver huffed with impatience and spun around.

He wanted to demand what Benjamin could possibly want from him, after everything. Wanted to remind him that he and his husband had been so far up his arse lately that he could regurgitate them. All because they were worried about him being arrested. It seemed like such a flimsy reason now.

The only thing he managed to spout was, "What, Ben?"

His tone wasn't even all that clipped. Oliver inwardly swore at himself.

"You need to be careful. There are things you don't know."

"There's a lot I don't know."

Not exactly a winning retort. Oliver pinched his lips together, growing increasingly uncomfortable by the echoes of things he'd rather forget, becoming louder and louder. Benjamin's closeness did nothing to comfort. It didn't keep at bay the distant noise of Tau's agonised wails. Waves of blood crashing over him, forcing slivers of meat up his nose, into his mouth. Monsters devouring each other. The crunch and squelch of his arm shattering inside a wall. Black mush under his dying fingertips.

"You're not safe around him."

He wrenched his focus upward, to Benjamin's gaze. Scared, while Oliver felt nothing but an intense fury he wasn't sure he could control.

"Pickle it. I mean it, Ben," he said, far steadier than he felt.

Benjamin's mouth became a stern line, his struggle plain in the crease of his thick brows. Oliver almost wanted him to say more, longing to lash out, to hurt Benjamin in the way he'd hurt him time and again.

Wide, calloused hands settled on either side of his face, throwing Oliver into such confusion his vision spun.

"I meant what I said… So long ago, now." Benjamin spoke so quietly, his voice barely echoed against the fancy tiled walls. "I'll take care of you, if you'll just let me. You don't need him. I can give you what you need."

Amid the screeching of the rusty gears inside his skull, Oliver was almost certain Benjamin had just proposed they be in… A relationship?

Was that why Benjamin had kissed him, twice now? Why he looked ready to lean in a third time?

No, no. That couldn't be it.

Within the firm grasp, Oliver shook his head. There was no way. Benjamin had Samuel back and, sure, the two looked miserable more than half the time, and they never seemed to talk outside of arguing but—

The hold disappeared, leaving his cheeks to cool.

"I'll leave you to it." Benjamin stepped away, and out.

The restroom became eerily silent.