16. DEVOIR

sixteen

DEVOIR

S wift as the journey was, Oliver hardly noticed it. Only knew they had arrived outside the Crowded Foxhole based on the distant thoroughfare of Plainwall's market and the spring air spiked with loitering frost.

A shiver dashed down his frame, still pressed into Tau, and against Lucetta's side. He glanced up past the pointed hood to the sky. A moody purple, the gas lantern nearby was already lit.

Evening meant the inn wouldn't be empty, and as Lucetta and Maji walked to the back door, Oliver struggled with what to do. Tau likely wouldn't come in, and Oliver didn't want to leave him alone again. Benjamin, though, couldn't be by himself. Oliver didn't know why Samuel had left or even where to, but knew Benjamin would be beside himself.

He grasped Tau's vambrace, gave it a squeeze. Without much hope, he asked, "You'll come in with me?"

To his shock, his boyfriend moved with him, ducking past the door held open by Maji.

Chatter pouring into the short corridor. Being out of the way, Marcy's inn wasn't everyone's first choice, but there were enough people to be a concern. None looked ossified enough to blame seeing a Sentinel on too much ale, either.

"Hi Marcy." Lucetta strode toward the burly woman standing behind the counter. "Don't suppose you're hiring? We might all be looking for a new job."

Marcy looked so pleased to see them, her teeth flashing with a cheer that quickly faltered. "Benji did mention something of the sort." Her hazel eyes settled on Oliver, who lingered within the corridor's shadows, and inevitably, flicked down to the empty sleeve. "You're looking for him? He's already in the kitchen."

Of course he was.

Silence fell over the taproom the moment Tau stepped out from behind Oliver and into the dim light. All eyes fell to him, patrons visibly startling at what was, without a doubt, a Sentinel walking among them—crouching, really.

"Sorry," said Lucetta to Marcy, whose hands took on a violent tremble. "He likes to follow. Can't get rid of him. Would you mind bringing Ben out?"

"Oh! Ye–Yes. I–Yes. I'll go–now. I'll—go get him now."

Marcy disappeared in a flurry of yellow through the swinging door. Moments later, she emerged with a surly Benjamin behind her, already wearing a florid, stained apron that had to belong to Marcy. Worry claimed his virile features as soon as he laid eyes on Oliver, like he thought they all might try to convince him to come back.

Then he caught sight of Tau, and his expression noticeably darkened. Marcy's gaze followed his. She jumped, made an odd noise, then fled into the kitchen.

"I've made up my mind." Benjamin crossed his arms over his chest, staying behind the bar.

Oliver opened his mouth to reassure, but Lucetta cut in, "We just want to talk."

She helped Maji up a stool and claimed a seat beside her. It took minimal coaxing for Tau to sit by the bar, a sight equally adorable as him on a train and in a diner. Oliver ignored the other occupants openly gaping at his boyfriend, to focus on Benjamin. Unease turned his stomach. The man's glower simmered with contempt. For him, or Tau?

"We're with you," Oliver said, cautiously.

"Are you?" Anger sullied Benjamin's otherwise friendly brool.

"Don't look so surprised! We were there too." Maji swivelled in her seat.

"We're going to take them down." Oliver leaned against Tau's side and failed to hide his delighted quiver when an arm snaked around his stomach. "Thought you might like to join us."

Benjamin set both hands on the counter. He jerked his head in Tau's direction, but didn't look at him. "And he's just going to go along with that?"

The unease began to churn, drawing Oliver's brows together. Something clearly wasn't right, if only he could put his finger on what—

"He's basically the one who said we should," said Lucetta.

"I don't believe that for a second."

Oliver groaned in annoyance, but Benjamin powered on, "He's the one who's been supplying them with the abominations that end up in the landfill. We can't trust him, or any other Sentinel."

"We know and Sunshine knows, now ," said Oliver. "But he didn't before."

"Which is why he wants to take them down. He suggested finding Emergence to make a plan with them," said Lucetta.

"Because that worked out so well the last time?" Benjamin harped. "You're going to trust a monster to trust a monster to destroy other monsters?"

"What did you just call him?" Oliver rounded the counter before he could even think about it, mouth drawn tight with a snarl. "I dare you to repeat that."

Benjamin squared his shoulders against him. A sliver of hesitation, then an unfamiliar chill settled in those amber eyes. "I said he's a monster, and I'll prove it."

A large hand slammed into Oliver's right shoulder. He careened into the counter, slipped along its polished edge and crashed to the floor. Agony seared a path through his torso, crushing pains in his shoulder blurring his vision. Amid his strained gasps, he heard Maji and Lucetta cry out. He rolled onto his back to look up through bleary eyes.

Tau stood curled over the bar, pointed hood folded against the ceiling. In his claw he held Benjamin by the throat, sharp nails drawing blood. Wrathful punches to the dark gauntlets did nothing.

"Stop!" Maji cried, flinging herself at Tau's arm in an attempt to get it to move.

Benjamin's face reddened, veins in his forehead bulging. Oliver clutched his shoulder as he staggered to his feet.

"Oliver, do something !" shouted Lucetta.

For one horrible, terrifying moment, Oliver was happy enough for Tau to do what he wanted. Even if it was to crush Benjamin's windpipe.

Benjamin, who had made him feel guilty for Samuel's death for years. Who had cold-shouldered him before that.

Who had cooked meals for him, helped treat his curse-induced injuries.

Kissed him.

Benjamin, who had crashed to his knees and sobbed, a broken man. Who had survived hell and looked it. Narrow-minded, unable to understand. A man who had lost his husband and endured worse still, only to lose Samuel a second time.

"Sunshine, stop," Oliver croaked.

He watched as Benjamin fell to the floor with a loud thud. Rasped for air and crawled toward the kitchen door. While Tau remained rigid until Oliver rounded the bar and pressed into his side again, taking solace in the arm curling around his ribcage.

"Guess you did that to make some sort of point?" asked Oliver, clenching his teeth against the bludgeoning betrayal.

"And I–I made it," uttered Benjamin hoarsely. He pulled himself up by a tiny table with a telephone atop it and leaned against the wall. He hunched over and glared at Tau. "Something that can so easily attack the people it was meant to protect can't be trusted. Nu proved that."

Oliver tilted his head back in defiance, the same chill that had claimed Benjamin earlier now settling over him like a harsh blanket. "I pissed off Nu the way you just did with Sunshine." And yet, he moved back around the counter and offered the man who was meant to be his friend his only hand, longing to help him upright. "He loves me, and he's protective of me. That makes him more human than anything else."

Benjamin did not take the offered hand, looking both furious and dejected at once as he jerked his gaze away.

"You've always been so quick to blame him." Disgust threatened to overpower what little forgiveness Oliver had left. "All he's ever done was try to do right by us. I know you were hurting then and still are, but that's not an excuse to be such an arshole. Sunshine is as much of a victim as the rest of us, if not more. They've used him just like they're using us. If you don't want to trust him, then trust me , Ben. Don't I deserve that much?"

Nothing. Not a glance or even a muttered response.

Oliver sighed, walking away. He grasped Tau's hand to gently pull him toward the corridor again, but paused. "Just 'cause you're angry with Sam for disappointing you doesn't mean you get to let it out on Tau. You two being a pair of red caps isn't anyone's fault but your own. Come on, Sunshine, we don't need him."

"Right," said Lucetta, tired. "We're taking them down whether it's with or without you. If you want to join us, then you're going to have to apologise to both Ta–Sunshine and Ollie."

Benjamin scowled. "What for?"

"For being such a shit friend!" snarled Lucetta. "I hope you'll have the grace to feel ashamed for what you just did, soon."

"And you," Maji added, pointing a reprimanding finger at Tau. "You can't attack any of us, it's not okay."

Oliver dared a look at Benjamin, who still didn't meet his gaze, or voice remorse. He blinked against the stinging in his eyes. He wanted to be angry. He wanted to shout and insult. Instead, his voice cracked with hurt when he said, "I don't need your apology, and neither does Sunshine." Forcefully turning to Lucetta, he added, "You know we're giving up our jobs, right?"

"I'd rather not keep supplying them with more things they can dump into our world," said Lucetta.

Maji nodded, straining a smile toward Marcy, who must have poked her head out the kitchen during the ruckus. Unfortunately, what few patrons there were had escaped. Oliver hoped they had at least paid.

Despite the ghostly tinge to her features, Marcy grabbed a pitcher from the counter and several tankards to pour Cosmic Ale. Its violet shimmers swirled like a storm.

"Sorry," said Maji, climbing back onto the stool with Lucetta's help.

"Now that we've got that bunk out of our system," said Lucetta, "let's talk about how we can get into the Horror realm."

Although Oliver longed for the cold air outside, Lucetta was making herself comfortable beside Maji and took an immediate sip of her drink. Thirst pulled Oliver back to the bar, where he encouraged Tau to sit again.

"I think we have a few options," Lucetta continued as Oliver chose to perch on his boyfriend's thigh. "First one is we find Onyx. She might still be in the mine somewhere if Tau didn't crush her. Or we could mine for something blue, but no saying it'll lead to Emergence."

"It might end up in Malimoure," added Maji.

Lucetta grimaced. "There's the Library of Portals, which…"

"Not a chance."

Benjamin hesitated before he walked to sit next to Maji, furthest from Oliver, who grit his teeth. Deliberate in avoiding eye contact, Benjamin continued, "I'm not even sure it exists. I've mapped most of Malimoure. There's no library."

"It has to be somewhere," murmured Maji.

"It is." Marcy lingered by the counter, pitcher still in hand. She seemed to regret speaking up when they all looked at her. "You should have asked me first, you know I've travelled to different worlds. They moved the library from Malimoure since the papers first started reporting about the war."

"What?" Benjamin quavered, aghast. "Why didn't—why didn't you tell me?"

"Benji, that started decades ago. I thought you knew!"

While his heart crashed down into his stomach, Oliver flicked his gaze from face to face. Based on everyone's look of horror, none of the others had known this either. He scrubbed his hand over his face.

What was there to say? They had endured Malimoure for nothing. Benjamin had survived a nightmare for months, for a place that wasn't even there, for a man who'd been safe all along and didn't want to stay.

"Gonna need those drinks," muttered Oliver.

They drank in strained silence, the ale's fruity notes doing nothing to soothe the blow they'd just been dealt. Or the fact that no matter how hard Oliver tried to catch his attention, to try and think of something comforting to say, Benjamin remained adamant in pretending he didn't exist.

Oliver bit his lower lip, hoping to distract from the hurt wreaking havoc on his heart. Condensation ran down his pint glass. He chased after it with his thumb and flicked the droplets off.

"Where is the library now?" asked Maji, quietly.

"Piapheth." Marcy perched on the small telephone table. "Close to the Exi mine. It's hard to get to."

A mountain region, its peaks like cloud-scraping pillars. Being rather keen on heights, Oliver had debated applying there before making up his mind about the Tesera Mine.

"Isn't that the one with Sentinel Omicron?" asked Lucetta.

"Yeah," said Oliver.

Not that it mattered.

"Tau," Maji began, having resumed her swaying back and forth on the stool, "you didn't transport us to the back alley the first time, but then you did afterward."

Unsure of what Maji was getting at, Oliver tilted sideways to look up at his boyfriend, who only fractionally canted his head in acknowledgement. His attention seemed fixed on Benjamin.

"I wonder," she continued, "do you have to be somewhere physically first, before you can transport there?"

Tau nodded.

"Then, aren't you able to transport us into the Wandering—the Mindless realm, since you've already been there?"

Obviously, had Tau been able to, he would have done so already, Oliver was sure of it. But then, as if hesitant, Tau slowly moved his head up and down again.

"You can just take us there?" asked Lucetta. "This whole time, you could have just transported us? Blessed Sentinels!"

Laughter clenched Oliver's stomach in a hearty guffaw that had him sliding off Tau's thigh and doubling over. He wiped the rolling mirth from his eyes before taking the last few swigs from his drink. Catching Lucetta's chagrined glare, he heaved with more laughter. Then, he curled his fingers around Tau's and gently prompted him to get up.

"Come on, baby."

"Before you go," said Marcy, "can I ask one thing?"

"Of course you can," replied Lucetta, finally easing her glare off Tau.

"I'm not sure what's going on, but why is it up to you to do whatever it is you're doing?"

Oliver huffed in amusement, wishing he knew the answer to that, while Lucetta heaved a burdened sigh.

"Because, sweet Marcy," she said, "shit just happens."

It wasn't an answer, not really. Maybe there wasn't one. Oliver didn't know why they were the ones who, out of hundreds of miners spread across the world, had the blue double doors appear. Or why they had to deal with the things that followed. They had been dealt a hand and weren't given a choice but to play the game, whether they liked it or not. Oliver thought maybe he could take a page out of Maji's book though, and play by his own rules. As much as he could, anyway.

"I really fancy a game of cards," he mumbled to Tau, walking through the back door and out into the crisp air.