Mikhail Prologue- Five Weeks Ago

Walking away from everything that made me who I was, everything that gave me satisfaction, happiness, and purpose, was damn hard. I almost didn't do it, but I knew I had to. It wasn't like it was forever. I just needed a break so I could regain my former enjoyment and excitement for all I'd built. I knew I didn't want to turn my back on it permanently, but I wondered how long it would take for me to get back to being the old me.

Staring at the sand and the waves washing up on the beach, I had to chuckle. This was the last place anyone who knew me would ever expect to find me. Maybe that was the point. Something had changed. It had been coming for a while, but I resisted acknowledging it. I worked even more. I played harder, but eventually, I knew none of it was helping. If anything, those things felt like they were making it worse.

Reuben, my friend and assistant manager, had sat me down and told me I had to take this break before I broke. He could see it, even though I thought I'd been successful at hiding my discontentment. I was no longer loving my life's work, the House of Lustz, or the life I led.

The House of Lustz had been my brainchild years ago. I wanted to bring people like me to a safe place where they could explore and express themselves sexually, but within the confines of absolute consent. There was nothing more important than consent unless it was communication, trust, and respect. I had been tired of the reaction I received when people found out what I wanted when it came to sex, or I should say, what I needed. For a long time, I thought I was in the minority and there was something wrong with me. I tried to suppress my needs and urges, but eventually, I had to let them out. I did my research and found those who would explain this life and mentor me. It was due to them that I made the decision not to hide who I was and to create my very own club.

Some called it a sex club, others a kink or fetish club. I called it home in a lot of ways. It was a house of freedom for me and many other like-minded individuals. To say Nashville, Tennessee, didn't quite know what to make of it when I began the process of getting it established was putting it mildly. The city tried to prevent me from opening the club, but they couldn't get the backing to stop me. I guess there were more people out there who were either into the various things I wanted to promote or they wanted to be.

After getting the place renovated and then opened, I found out it was a healthy combination of both. Some who came were at various stages in their discovery of the lifestyle and all it entailed. Others were at the beginning and wondering if their urges and thoughts could be given life at my club. I listened and made sure to offer them a safe place to explore and engage in the many forms of play, although I didn't ever tolerate anything that was borderline lethal, illegal, or actually non-consensual. Anyone coming in and found not to follow the rules was thrown out and not allowed to return.

To help ensure the least amount of problems, because you couldn't weed out every problem person ahead of time no matter how thorough you were, I had them undergo an extensive background check and an online training session before allowing them through the doors. It took me several tries before I found someone who could do what I wanted when it came to those background checks. It was the weirdest thing when one of my patrons, a biker no less, became friendly with me. He underwent the process himself and then asked who I used to conduct those checks.

I told him, and he gave me more ideas for things to delve into. The next time I saw him, he offered one of his biker brothers to be my investigator. Apparently, his brother did the same thing and more for his club. Payne had done me a huge favor that day. I've paid Outlaw ever since. I was fine with him fitting them in when he could between his other duties to the Hunters Creek Archangel's Warriors. They would always come first, and I understood why.

It was kinda weird to have Outlaw know so much about my patrons, yet he wasn't one himself. He said he'd leave it to Payne, although he did come once to watch what went on. He hadn't been judgmental. It just wasn't his thing, even though I had no problem seeing him being a Dom. Now, Payne enjoyed his time at Lustz immensely. Well, he had until he met Jayla. All it took was one look at her, and he fell hard.

Of course, it hadn't been easy for him to win her heart. His own stupidity almost ruined his chances with her but, luckily, she was a forgiving person, and she gave him a second chance. They were now married and had a son, Storm. I laughed when he told me the name they gave him. It was so appropriate for his son. I had no doubt when he got older, he'd be like a storm. God help them.

They'd been together for just over a year and a half. They gave every indication they were damn happy. They rarely came to Lustz, and when they did, they only played together and it was always in private. Payne was too possessive to let others see Jayla. Before her, he never cared who watched him and his partners, but he claimed it made a difference when the woman was yours and you loved her. Or at least it did for him. I personally didn't know. I'd never had a woman in my life who I felt that way about.

Sure, I'd played with several over extended periods of time, but it had never been exclusive for me, and I played with others at the same time. The thought that I would find someone and turn into a possessive man made me snort. It would never happen, just like it would never happen that I'd settle down with one woman. There were too many out there not to enjoy them. I wouldn't call myself a manwhore. It wasn't like I was with a different one every night of the week. I was selective, but I did enjoy women, and my house gave me ample ones who were more than willing to play the games I enjoyed. That wasn't to say I wasn't happy for Payne. I was, and he deserved it.

The chatter of excited voices and shrill screams roused me from my thoughts. I glanced around and saw a crowd of beachgoers coming toward me. They had a bunch of kids in their group—time for me to go. I was here to relax, not to hear a bunch of noisy kids. I stood to gather my things. I didn't dislike children. I just wasn't in the mood to be around them right now.

I thought I was going to escape unscathed, but I was wrong. Just as I started to walk away from my spot, a woman detached herself from the group and came toward me. I knew that look. She was on the prowl and thought she'd found a likely candidate to give her a good time. Now, typically, I might be willing to give her a chance to show me if she could handle me, but for some reason, she stirred nothing in me. Zilch.

It wasn't because she wasn't attractive, because she was. She was showing her body off in a barely there bikini. It hardly covered the vital parts. Rather than appreciating it, my first thought was, What the hell was she doing dressed like that when she was with a bunch of kids, and a few of them were teenage boys? They were drooling over her. I wanted to tell her to cover up. Her path wouldn't let me bypass her, and I refused to divert my course. I ran from no one, so I steeled myself to hear what she had to say and to send her off nicely to find another victim.

She gave me a flirty look as she came to stand in front of me, blocking my way, although I could walk around her. I didn't encourage her by smiling back. I wasn't looking for company. I didn't say anything. I waited for her to say something. I bet it would be original, not.

"Hi, my name is Tammy. You shouldn't hurry off yet. It's a beautiful day. Why don't you join me? We can go further down the beach, which is more private if the kids are too much. I bet we could have a great afternoon. Who knows? We might just become friends," she said as she ran her gaze up and down my body.

I was dressed for the beach, which meant all I had on at the moment was a pair of swimming trunks and sandals. My towel, book, and a large container of water were in one hand, and my phone was in my trunk pocket. I knew what she saw. I wasn't vain or anything, but I knew I was pleasing to the eye for most women.

I might be in my mid-forties, but I'd kept myself in shape. It wasn't just a matter of looking good but more about staying healthy. I enjoyed life and wanted to live as long as I could but still be able to have a quality of life. I ran five days a week, minimum, worked out with weights, and did other exercises three to four days a week. In addition, I had some tattoos, and those always seemed to fascinate women and some men.

"Thanks for the invitation, but I've had enough of the beach for the day. I have plans and need to get back to my place to get ready. Enjoy the water and sun, though," I told her politely.

She frowned a tiny bit, then smiled again. She stepped closer. Damn, she was gonna be one of those—one who wouldn't want to take no for an answer. I could see in her eyes she wasn't used to being turned down. I didn't mind a woman knowing what she wanted and going after it, but I hated it when one got pushy. The Dom in me would discipline them if they were with me or mine, but since she wasn't and wouldn't be, I reined in my automatic tendency to issue an order. Besides, that only worked after a lot of communication and agreements on boundaries. Again, not happening today or with her.

"Oh, come on. Surely, you can skip whatever it is to stay with me. You look like you're on vacation, which means you shouldn't have anything urgent to do. If you do, it'll negate your relaxation. I say go with the flow. I have no doubt we can help each other relax and enjoy our time even more. After all, vacations are meant to let go and have fun." Her expression became more predatory as she blatantly licked her bottom lip and batted her lashes at me. I wanted to laugh. She wasn't winning me with those moves, and she looked ridiculous.

She was on the beach, yet her hair was perfectly styled and she had on a full face of makeup along with fake lashes. Jesus, talk about a turnoff. Don't get me wrong, I didn't mind a woman wearing makeup as long as it was tasteful, but she should also be comfortable enough to go bare-faced and show her natural beauty. This one was made up like she was about to go out on the town for the night at a club.

"I said I have plans, and no, they can't be changed. I can see to my own relaxation, thank you. Now, excuse me." This time, I did step a couple of paces to the side and moved to pass her. I was hungry, and I needed a shower. After that, I'd decide what I would do next. I didn't actually have anything planned.

As I passed her, she grabbed onto my arm. I halted and stared down at her and her hand. She didn't take the hint. God, was she stupid? I let my predator side peek out a tiny bit as I barked at her. "Let go of my arm. Now!"

Her eyes widened, and she gasped, letting go of me as if she'd been burned. Then she stepped away from me. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I'd just like to get to know you, that's all. What's your name?"

"I don't want to get to know you. Someone should've taught you not to touch unless you've been invited to, and you weren't. I'm not looking for a plaything," I told her gruffly before walking away. This time, she didn't try to stop me.

As I got to my car, I chided myself. What the hell was wrong with me? I hadn't been with a woman in more weeks than I could count. I was on vacation. I should be having fun. No one knew me here. There were no expectations of me. It was a golden opportunity, but I had zero desire to play. I had already been here a week, and I was no closer to resolving this melancholy, or maybe it was a midlife crisis. Hell, I didn't know. If I didn't know the cause, how the hell could I fix it? I refused to go back home until I got my answers. I prayed it wouldn't take me forever to do it.