Chapter 17

CHAPTER 17

VIOLET

T hings are still pretty awkward and tense between Zane and me. It’s interesting to see him walk on eggshells around me. Some moments, it’s like we forget what happened and things are normal. And then, I’ll remember he walked away and I shut down a little.

It can’t be stated enough just how tired I am. How over the bullshit I am. Zane was an ass. My parents show up with the nerve to ask me for money after I haven’t seen them in like fifteen years. Now, I’m pregnant. And despite how much of a little shit he was, I miss my brother. I don’t know what hurts more: what Zane did or my parents showing up only to ask for money.

That’s a lie. I know which hurts worse. What Zane did. I expected better from him. I’ve been upset with Zane because I’m finally making friends. Finally growing my support system and leaning on them. Then he had to go and show me how easily he can walk away.

But maybe I need to let that go. The women showed up and supported me. I’ve actually made them my friends. Something tells me the longer I’m immersed in their world, the stronger the friendships will become. Zane or no Zane, I think I’d still have the other spouses at least.

And does it really matter that he wasn’t here when I found out I was pregnant or when my parents showed up? If life was normal, there is a good chance he would be at work or on a trip anyway.

Zane’s off likely getting cleared by the medical team and will probably be gone tomorrow for a game. Do I really want him to leave without this resolved?

No. No, I don’t.

After a shower and with more energy than I actually possess, I decide to leave the house to see Cassie. I had a doctor appointment this morning to confirm the pregnancy, which I know she’ll want to hear about, and I want to just chat with her, if I’m honest.

As I open the door to leave, I withhold a sigh at the sight of my mother.

“Violet,” she starts with a smile. Half her teeth are missing and the ones remaining make me want to cringe. “Can I come in and talk to you?”

“I was just leaving.” I step outside and lock my door behind me. “And I believe my husband told you not to come back.”

“I’m not here for money,” she rushes to say.

With a sigh, I turn to face her. “Mom, I can’t help you. I have nothing to offer you. You showing up just reminds me of what horrible parents you and Dad were. You’re out. Yay. Live your life without me in it.”

A nasty look appears on her face as she crosses her arms over her chest. “Where is your brother?”

“Not here. He’s off making a better life for himself.” Done with this conversation, I step around her and walk to my car without a backward glance. Before I back out, though, I send a quick text to Zane.

We need a security system with cameras. ASAP

What happened?

I’ll get it done today.

My mom showed up again. Just have a bad feeling.

I toss my phone into the passenger seat and leave to see Cassie. She owns a local bookstore and it keeps her plenty busy. Aside from typical business needs, she hosts signings, book clubs for all ages, and puts on frequent events for kids. She’s doing amazing.

Even on a Tuesday, her shop is steady. I wave to the cashier, feeling bad that I don’t recognize her. It’s been too long since I’ve been here to visit. I head toward the back and knock on the office door.

“Come in,” Cassie calls out. “Violet!” she squeals when I push open the door. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to gab.”

She claps her hands in excitement and leads me to a free chair. “Spill.”

“I’m eight weeks along.” Cassie squeals. “Don’t be excited. This means he probably knocked me up while dressed as an ugly troll.” I try my best to use a deadpan tone, but it’s hard when I think about how humorous that idea is.

“I don’t care. When is your next appointment? I need to write it down. Any appointment Zane isn’t there for, I am.” She looks at me as if waiting to see if I’ll object. I won’t. So I tell her when my next appointment is, just in case Zane isn’t able to go.

“My mom showed up again.”

Cassie sighs. “Graham finally stops being a thorn in your side and now your parents are here to fill the opening. Did you tell her to go to hell?” She pauses and tilts her head at me. “Or do you want to reconnect?”

I shake my head. “Every time I see them, I get so anxious and they bring up all these bad memories from my childhood. I told her I couldn’t help her and then she had the nerve to ask where Graham was. I don’t really want to deal with them. Does that make me a horrible person?”

Cassie snorts. “Not even a little. How are you and Zane?”

“We’ll be fine. I’m not mad anymore. Not really. Even if I am, I…this isn’t the right word, but I need him too much to push him away.” I shrug. “I like it better when he’s around and nothing happened that’s unforgivable.”

Cassie looks at me for a moment before saying, “You’re way nicer than I am. I’d probably hold a grudge until he literally begged for forgiveness on his knees and kissed my feet.”

I laugh. “I also came to bounce some ideas off you.”

“Hit me with it.”

I’ve been thinking about my business a lot lately and have even spoken to Ellen a few times since Zane returned home. I’m doing great, but I could be doing even better.

“Zane’s mom mentioned how I should do tutorial videos and I think I’ll do that. But she’s mentioned how she wishes there was like a stitching club. I was thinking about hosting virtual and in-person stitching events. People could literally just come together to talk and stitch.” I laugh. “It would make my business live up to its name. People could come together to stitch and bitch.”

“Oh, I love that,” Cassie says. “You could even host them here if you want. I’m not sure if you’d want to use your office space for that or keep it strictly for your videos and physical products to ship out. You might could even open a physical location, Vi.”

I shake my head. “That’s way too much. I like how I’m set up now and this little bit extra will be nice without being too much for me. I don’t want to worry about someone filling in or running the place when my migraines knock me out. But you think the rest would be nice?”

Cassie nods. “It’s definitely worth a shot.” She pauses and then adds, “Are you sure you want to ramp up the business when you’re pregnant?”

“What does one have to do with the other?”

“I just mean you’ll be taking some time off when the baby comes. You’ll need to do extra prep if you start new ventures.”

I nod. “I know. I can handle it.” My stomach grumbles and the idea of actually being hungry excites me. “Want to grab lunch?”

“Of course I do.”

Cassie gets some things squared away and then we go off to lunch. She shares more about all that she’s doing for her store and ideas she plans to implement soon. We brainstorm potential dates where she could host my stitching club. I may have specifically chosen dates where Zane would have away games. I need to get out more and might as well be purposeful with when.

“So, what?” Cassie begins as we walk out to our vehicles. “You’re going to go home, tell Zane you aren’t mad, and then have make-up sex?”

I shrug. “Pretty much.”

She laughs. “As good a plan as any, I guess.” She pauses and then smiles at me. “I was going to say text me if you need me, but I know you’ll do that. Just don’t only text me because you need me. I want an update later.”

I’m not sure there will be much more to update her on, but I nod anyway and give her a hug. When I get home, Zane already has cameras up. He launches in on getting me to download the app needed and showing me what I need to know.

“What happened?” he asks.

With a sigh, I repeat what happened earlier with my mom.

He wraps an arm around me. “It’ll be okay. Do you want to stay here while I’m gone or maybe stay with Cassie?”

“I’ll be fine here.”

He eyes me as if he wants to object but thinks better of it. He’s still uneasy about the standing of our relationship.

“I’m not mad anymore,” I tell him quietly. His eyes widen in surprise and I almost want to laugh. Surely he realized forgiveness was coming. “Seeing my parents again reminded me of how horrible my childhood was before we went to live with Grandma. It’s like I shoved all of that down and reimagined something better.”

I shake my head, remembering how Graham mentioned being upset that he didn’t remember them. “It’s good that Graham doesn’t have memories of them. We were hungry a lot. Mom didn’t often cook dinner for us. Scary people would be at the house at all hours.” I take a deep breath and shove all those memories back into the box I’ve been storing them in.

“It honestly makes me nervous that they’re back and they’ve come to see me. I don’t have a good feeling that they keep showing up, especially knowing they want money.”

Zane rearranges me until I’m sitting sideways in his lap. “We’ll deal with them if they show up again.”

“Do I tell Graham?” This question in particular has been weighing on my mind.

“Would you want to know?”

I sigh. I would.

Zane lifts a hand and cups my cheek. “For now, they aren’t a problem. We don’t have to think about them.” His eyes search mine. “You really aren’t mad anymore? I was a pretty big jackass.”

I give him a small smile. “No. What kind of wife would I be if I let something as small as a misunderstanding doom us? Besides, you seem like the kind of guy who learns from his mistakes and I really hope you are because if you ever walk out on me again without talking to me first?—”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he interrupts. “Thank you, by the way.” He kisses me hard and then says, “We haven’t exchanged Christmas presents. Want to do that?”

“Sure.”

A moment after we’ve retrieved the gifts and we’re situated back on the couch, Zane hands me a small box with shiny silver wrapping paper. I tear at the paper to find a jewelry box, which holds the most gorgeous pair of diamond earrings.

“Zane,” I breathe. “This is too much.”

“Do you like them?” he asks, ignoring my comment.

I nod and place them in my ears. Guilt rises within me because his gifts seem so lame now. I hand him the first one. He grins and seems genuinely excited at the sight of the cookbook I bought him. After he gives me a quick kiss in thanks, I hand him my open wallet.

“Seems silly, but this was one surprise I had for you.”

His brows furrow as he takes it and looks over its contents. After a moment, he sees it. A smile lights up his entire face.

“Mrs. Landry,” he says, looking over at me. “This is definitely a nice surprise.”

He returns my wallet and I set it aside. It feels like forever ago since I went to change my name, but it wasn’t all that long ago.

After a beat, he asks, “When will we tell people about the baby?”

I shrug. “Cassie, Sydney, and Kayla already know. There’s really only Graham and your parents. Tell whoever whenever.”

Zane throws a grin my way. Today was a really good day overall. Things felt normal again, despite the heaviness that has followed us around the past few weeks.

“Are you happy?” I blurt out.

With my question, Zane grabs my hand and pulls me to straddle him again. “All I’ve ever wanted, Vi, was someone to spend my life with. Someone to love and who would love me back. You’ve given me that times two.” His hand rests over my stomach. “I’ve never been happier.”

I rest my forehead against his. “Me too,” I admit.

Ah, be still my heart. There’s that boyish smile again. Zane kisses me, softly at first. But then it’s like our bodies remember how long it’s been since we’ve devoured one another and suddenly, it’s too hot. There’s too many clothes.

My skin tingles as his hand sneaks beneath my shirt.

“I’ve missed you and this body so much, babe,” he murmurs against my skin. “I was prepared to grovel on my knees.” Zane removes my shirt quickly and hums in contentment as his hands finds my breasts. “I will get down on my knees next time I fuck up.” He moves me to sit on the couch and he kneels before me.

His eyes find mine and his hands pause their movements. “I will worship the ground you walk on, Violet. I will do whatever it takes to make you happy. I will make the good times overshadow the bad. And I will work to my dying breath to be worthy of you. Just remember that when I mess up, okay?”

When I nod, too overcome with emotion to speak, Zane gives me a wicked grin before spreading my legs. Something tells me the make-up sex is going to blow my mind.