8. Grace

Chapter 8

Grace

L ater that night, Sebastian walked me to my door. Mama and Micaela went into the suite and made themselves scarce, and all I could think was—now what? Learning that I was a siren, and that there was a whole paranormal world out there had already skewed my world onto its axis. I didn't need any more confusion in my life right now.

But Sebastian didn't make me feel confused. He made me feel valued and safe, and I could settle into the paranormal world dating Sebastian just as easily as I could on my own.

In fact, my practical side argued, I could probably do it better with Sebastian by my side. A vampire hundreds of years old, who knew the paranormal scene much better than I? Who better to help steady my footing? To help keep me from making huge, deadly mistakes?

I wanted to get to know him better. I'd thought that I could do that just as friends, but I couldn't seem to keep my lips off of him.

Grace, why can't you just keep your lips to yourself? I sighed. I thought I might be touch-starved or something. Or it could just be that there was a deeply sexy and seemingly brilliant and kind man that was interested in me, and that I wanted to snuggle with him… and possibly have his children?

I growled at myself. Grace, you need your head examined. People don't move that swiftly. And besides, didn't I want to be swept off my feet first? Hadn't I always wanted a relationship that built up slowly from a deep friendship? Why, then, was I racing toward some finish line I couldn't see at hyper-speed?

I genuinely liked Sebastian. In fact, I liked him quite a bit. But I'd only had a few days with him. It was enough to know I was interested, but not enough to fully suss out his character. I needed more time with him. Did that time have to be as just friends? Or could it be as something more? Should it be as something more?

Maybe my disappointment was because we'd kissed so early? I mean, it was a heck of a kiss! Just the right amount of smoldering and sweet. But I usually made the couples in my novels wait for ages before they kissed. And it always served the story and the couple well. There had to be a build-up, right?

I was being an idiot. Life wasn't a novel. I had what appeared to be a genuinely great guy interested in me, and I was interested in him back. I nodded decisively. Yes, I would move forward with him if he wanted to.

Sebastian had his arms wrapped around me throughout my whole brain drama, and he'd watched each expression cross my face, which must have been incredibly telling because he asked, "Have you come to a decision yet?"

I groaned and leaned into his chest. "I'm being an idiot. Just ignore me."

He pulled back enough to see my face. "No, I'm interested in your dilemma, in what you're feeling. Genuinely."

I sighed. "I've never gone out with someone I felt this safe with, or someone I've been this interested in." I took a peek at him and then stared down the hallway. "And I think you're interested in me?"

"I am," he affirmed.

I nodded. I thought so. I mean, he had kissed me. "I guess... I just thought... that things would move slower? That there would be more getting to know each other before we kissed and dated? That we would start as friends instead of jumping right into things?" I shook my head, frustrated with myself. "But I can't seem to keep my lips off of you," I said self derisively.

He chuckled. "If I remember correctly, I kissed you the last time."

His hands circled low on my hips, his expression thoughtful. "Let me see if I'm understanding you correctly. You're feeling a little let down because we met, liked each other right off the bat, and kissed on the first and second date? That all of this happened too quickly, and that we did not take our time to really get to know one another first and start as friends?"

I groaned and put my hands over my face. "Just pay no attention to me. I'm an idiot."

He peeled my hands gently away from my face. "You're not an idiot. Whatever your feelings are, Grace, you're allowed them." He pursed his lips. "Are you still willing to go out with me as friends? I only have thirty days to convince you of how amazing I am," he teased.

I laughed. He was good at that. Getting me out of the chaos of my thoughts and getting me to laugh. "Yes. I genuinely like you, Sebastian, and I enjoy being around you. I'm sorry my head is such a mess right now."

A disquieting intent appeared in Sebastian's eyes. If I had known him better, I would have known that it was the fiery look of someone facing a battle.

But, I mean, how could I have known that the battle would be for my heart?

Sebastian left me at my door with a hug and a handshake.

A handshake!

I growled as I slipped inside my suite, closed the door, and leaned against it. "Mama, I think I just messed up big time."

Mom was hanging the clothes she'd been too tired to hang up before up in the closet. She and Micaela had moved into the main living room with me, rather than taking a bedroom. I could hear Micaela in the shower, and Kazi was on my balcony, watching the ocean like an emo kitty. Mom must have let him out. Or maybe he'd pulled a Houdini again and opened the sliding door.

"What happened?" Mama looked at me with concern.

"I think I just told the sexiest man that I've ever met that I wanted to go slower. That I wanted to start with friendship instead of jumping right in."

I groaned and flopped onto the bed, bummed that I was so logical sometimes. And so finicky.

Mom hummed. "It all sounds sensible, honey. Are you disappointed in your own sensibility?"

"Yes!" I said in exasperation. "Sebastian seems to be every woman's dream, including their sexy dreams, and I basically just told him I want to go at a glacial pace."

"Did you freak out? Is that why you said it?"

I rubbed my tired eyes. "I don't know. I don't think so? I think I just want the build-up as friends, you know? The little things that lead to bigger things that lead to the best things."

"Nothing wrong with that."

I sighed. "Maybe not, but I need to have my head examined. I mean, Sebastian seems wonderful."

Mom nodded, setting out an outfit for tomorrow. "And he may be, but this will give you time to really know."

"Thanks, mom." I got up and hugged her. "I'm so glad you're here."

She bussed my cheek and started organizing her shoes. My mom was the most organized woman I knew. I'd gotten all my superpowers from her. Which reminded me...

"Mama, do you know if there was any documentation of my birth? Any clue where I came from?"

She turned to me, her hand lining up a pair of nude heels perfectly with her other heels. "No. I asked when I adopted you. You were one of those babies who was surrendered to a hospital. They went and checked the surveillance video afterward, and they couldn't even see who'd surrendered you. One moment you and your basket weren't there, and the next, you were."

"Like magic," I whispered.

Mom nodded. "I suppose so, yes."

I sighed. Well, I guessed I'd never know.

I went and pounded on the bathroom door. There was a loud yelp, and a sound like a bar of soap dropping onto the shower floor. I smiled evilly. "Micaela, you're using all the hot water, and I could have died out here a million times already! There could be assassins in my bedroom at this very minute!"

I heard Micaela growl and mutter under her breath, and then she yelled, "Kazi is on duty right now!"

"Kazi is staring like a lovesick cub at the water," I informed her.

"Kazi, stop staring at the water, you midget, and guard our girl!" Micaela yelled.

Kazi sighed and came in, nosing the door closed. I locked it for him and rubbed his sea-damp fur. "I was just teasing her, Kazi. You can stare at the waves all you want."

He huffed and licked me. I guessed I was forgiven for cutting short his enjoyment of the ocean. I grabbed a towel out of the dirty clothes and wiped his fur down until he was dry. "You need a bath. You smell like wet fur still. Feel okay about taking a shower before my shower?"

He snorted and nosed my hands, and I took that to mean that he'd love a shower.

I laughed and went to grab my pajamas.

I guess I'd see how things went with Sebastian tomorrow. I mean, I couldn't botch things up any worse, could I?

Famous last words.