Chapter 20

Chapter

Twenty

O ne moment, they were wading in the cool water; the next, they were in each other's arms. The kiss was madness, fire, and passion that took Alexander's breath away in the warm evening air.

With their lack of clothing, he could feel every part of Charlotte's sweet, succulent body. Her breasts pressed against his chest, her tight little nipples poking through the thin fabric of her shift, teasing him mercilessly. The damp fabric did little to cool their ardor, and he twisted his fingers into her hair, wanting her closer still.

She was such a beautiful woman in all ways that she stole his wits daily. What would he do if he could not have her as his forever? While he did not know what feelings she had created within him exactly, he started to wonder if it was love.

Did he love her? Was he falling in love with her?

Her fingers tightened in the hair at his nape, and she wiggled closer. He slipped his hands about the perfect globes of her bottom and walked them out of the pond and onto the lawns. Her womanly curves teased him, and he wanted nothing more than to lay claim to her. Make her his completely.

He dare not take her inside for fear of what may happen. It was much safer to remain outdoors where he would not dare press for more. But how he wanted her. His body ached with need and warred with what was right and wrong.

He could not be like his father. He could not ruin a woman whom he could not marry.

"Alexander." Her breathy sigh, her undulating hips against his cock, was maddening.

"Charlotte, we cannot. I know how desperate you feel. I'm the same, but we cannot do more. It would not be right."

"But it would be right by me. I want you." She slipped down his body and looked up at him with beguiling blue eyes that he fought to deny.

He shook his head while his hands pulled her close, his body and mind at war. "I'm sorry, but I will not ruin you. There is no guarantee that what you feel for me will last beyond the Season, and I will never let a child of mine be illegitimate as I was." The fear another child, his child, could live in shame, be an outcast, and be ridiculed by the very people she called her friends turned his stomach, and he could not do that to another soul.

She stepped away and frowned. "Do you truly think that my feelings are so shallow that I will cast you away like a piece of lint when you become bothersome?"

"I hope you will not, but I do not know for sure. You have a lot of expectations on you, and that is through no fault of your own." Alexander took a deep, calming breath and ran a hand through his hair. "I will not add to your burden by making you marry a man who may rip you from your family should you get with a child. I do not wish to take your choice from you."

"But I choose you." She crossed her arms, and under the moonlit night, he could see her blonde hair was still damp and clung to her shoulders. Her shift left little to his imagination, and water dripped from the hem. She had never looked so beautiful to him, and his heart ached with want for her. His pulse quickened in his veins.

Damn it all to hell, she was impossible to deny.

He fisted his hands at his sides and refused to move.

With a frustrated sigh, Charlotte stormed off toward the house. The sight of her leaving him, moving away, and being disillusioned was enough to make him lose command of his senses.

He stormed after her, following her into the house. "Charlotte, stop." She ignored him and continued up the stairs to her room. He took the steps two at a time, catching her on the first floor.

The house was eerily quiet, besides the tension that thrummed between them, the sconce candles almost at the end of their wick. "Charlotte," he whispered, staying near the stairs and not wanting to follow her into the family suite of rooms. "Please do not be angry with me."

"Well, what do you wish me to be?" she whispered irately. "I do not want any other man to court me. I do not know how to be more obvious in my affection for you."

All true, of course. She had been honest with Lord Anson and sent him on his merry way, and no other callers came to the house. From those actions alone, it was clear she was not allowing other gentlemen the chance to win her affection.

Alexander stood on the threshold, his heart hammered in his chest, battling between his desire and resolve. He knew he should turn and leave, go upstairs to his room, and lock himself away. But the sight of Charlotte, trembling with a mix of frustration and longing, shattered the last remnants of his restraint.

He could hear her soft, uneven breaths as she stood in the hall, the dim light of her bedroom casting her in a golden glow. He had wanted her for so long, had dreamed of this moment countless times, and now that it was within his grasp, he hesitated.

"Charlotte," he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. "You do not know how hard this choice is for me. Tell me to leave. Tell me that we should not do what we both desperately want."

Her gaze burned into him, her blue eyes glistening with unshed tears. "Do you truly not want me, Alexander? Or is it that you think yourself unworthy?"

His chest tightened at her words. He stepped toward her, then another until he was close enough to feel the heat radiating from her body. He reached out, gently cupping her face in his hands.

He was unworthy and knew it to his very core. "I want you more than my next breath, but I fear for you. I fear what this will mean for you, for us."

She placed her hands over his, her touch soft and reassuring. "I am not afraid, Alexander. I want this. I want you. Nothing else matters."

He closed his eyes, absorbing her words and feeling their truth. The decision was no longer his to make. She had made the choice for them both. Slowly, he leaned in, capturing her lips in a tender kiss. The taste and softness of her kiss ignited a fire within him he could no longer quench.

With a shuddering breath, he deepened the kiss, his hands sliding down her body to pull her closer. The feel of her in his arms sent a thrill through him, and he knew he was doomed.

She melted against him, her hands threading through his hair. The thin fabric of her shift was all that separated them, and it was both a torment and a blessing.

He drew back, his gaze locking with hers. "Are you certain, Charlotte? Once we traverse this line, there will be no going back."

She nodded, her eyes filled with love and determination. "I have never been more certain of anything in my life. Please," she begged. "Touch me."

That was all he needed to hear. With a swift motion, he scooped her into his arms and carried her to the bed, laying her down with the utmost care. He stood for a moment, taking in the sight of her—the way her damp hair fanned out across the pillow, and her eyes watched him with a mix of anticipation and trust.

Slowly, reverently, he began to undress her. The dressing robe slipped off her shoulders, revealing the delicate curves of her body, the soft rise and fall of her breasts, and the smooth expanse of her stomach beneath her wet, transparent shift. He marveled at her beauty, his breath catching in his throat.

There was no going back now. Not for either of them.

He lifted her shift and threw it somewhere in the room, baring her completely to his gaze. She reached up, her fingers trembling as she helped him out of his garments. The room's cool air brushed against his body, but he hardly noticed. He savored how her body reacted to his touch, the way her breath hitched as his fingers traced over her skin.

He lowered himself over her and kissed her with urgency. His hand moved to her breast, gently caressing the soft mound, his thumb brushing over her hardened nipple. She gasped into his mouth, her back arching as she sought to be closer to him.

Their movements were slow and deliberate, as though both were savoring the moment, wanting to stretch out this memory for as long as possible. His hand traveled lower, tracing the curve of her waist and the swell of her hips before finally settling between her thighs. She parted them instinctively, welcoming him, trusting him. When his fingers found her center, she moaned softly, her body trembling with desire.

He took his time exploring, learning what made Charlotte shiver and what made her sigh in delight. Her hips moved in rhythm with his touch, her breath coming faster, her grip on his shoulders tightening.

Finally, when he could wait no longer, he positioned himself above her, his heart pounding in his chest. He met her gaze one last time, searching for any sign of hesitation, but all he found was love and an eager acceptance.

"This will only hurt a moment. I'll be careful, I promise."

She nodded, watching him with utter faith. "I trust you."

Alexander guided himself into her, moving slowly, carefully, allowing her body to adjust to his size. She gasped, her hands clutching at him as he filled her, the sensation overwhelming every fiber of his being.

She sucked in a startled breath, and he paused, giving her time to adjust, pressing tender kisses to her neck, her collarbone, and her lips.

Alexander felt the moment she relaxed beneath him. She squirmed, seeking more, and he started a slow, steady rhythm, each thrust bringing them closer together, closer to the exquisite edge. She clung to him, her breath hot against his ear.

"Yes, Alexander. This is what I want."

Her words were laced with pleasure and urgency. He moved faster, deeper, driven by the need to bring her to the heights of satisfaction, to show her just how much he adored her, how much she meant to him. Charlotte responded with equal fervor, her body matching his every movement, her soft cries of joy spurring him on.

Her legs wrapped around his back, her fingers clawing into his shoulders, and he felt her body tremble beneath him. She was close, and so too was he.

"Alexander." She screamed, arching her back as she came beneath him. He could no longer stem his own release, and pulling out, he spent on the bedding, needing to protect her as much as he could.

Satisfaction crashed over him with the force of what she made him feel. How much he adored and cared for the woman who would trust him so deeply.

He collapsed beside her, pulling Charlotte into his arms, and rubbed the soft skin of her back as she trembled in the aftermath of their lovemaking.

For a long time, neither spoke, content to simply lie there, wrapped in each other's embrace.

"I love you, Alexander," she whispered, her voice filled with a quiet certainty. She lifted her eyes and met his, hers bright with adoration. "There is no other for me," she said with certainty.

Alexander kissed her forehead, his heart swelling. "I love you, Charlotte. More than I could ever imagine."

With a contented sigh, she nestled against him, her head resting on his chest as she drifted off to sleep, her body still entwined with his. Alexander lay awake, assessing the turn his life had taken, at the love he had found in the most unexpected place.

Whatever challenges lay ahead, they would face them together, bound by the love they had discovered and acknowledged. And for the first time in his life, he felt truly at peace.