Chapter 18

Chapter

Eighteen

O ver the next several days, Charlotte struggled to focus on the Season and her plans with Matilda. Lord Anson had not called since the day of their kiss in the garden, and Charlotte was thankful for it. After the understanding she had formed with Alexander, she wasn't sure how she could stomach pretending to allow anyone to court her, especially when Lord Anson was well aware there was no future between them.

To know that Alexander slept in the room above hers, that he worked late into the night in his office, was a distraction she knew she couldn't ignore forever.

For the past two nights, her mama had kept her by her side at several balls, and she had not been able to get away. Frustration thrummed through her, and she couldn't help but wonder if they had discerned some undertone between her and Alexander. Although she never spoke of him at home or displayed how he made her feel, the idea her mama knew of her infatuation was impossible to dismiss altogether.

"What about Lord Norris? He will inherit an earldom one day and has a substantial income of several thousand pounds a year and multiple estates. Not to mention, he's handsome. He would suit you very well, Charlotte."

Charlotte sipped her wine and watched Lord Norris over the top of her crystal glass. Her mama was right. He was handsome but appeared to be a gentleman who didn't always act as one should.

"He's quick to compliment the fairer sex, but his words are not heartfelt. I do not think he'll ever love anyone as much as he loves himself."

Her mother's lips thinned into a displeased line, and she clicked her tongue in admonishment. "Charlotte, dear, I must say that your father and I are starting to grow concerned. Is there no one who has caught your interest? Surely there must be someone by now. You've been out in society for three years, my dear."

Charlotte wished she could tell her mama of Alexander and everything he made her feel. How smitten she was and couldn't see herself with anyone other than Alexander.

Whenever she was around him, her pulse quickened, and her cheeks flushed.

"There is someone, Mama, but I do not know what he thinks of me," she lied, knowing only too well that Alexander thought of her as much as she thought of him.

Her mama reached for her hand, her eyes lighting up with excitement. "Oh, my dear, this is wonderful news." She paused, studying her for a moment. "Is it Lord Anson?"

"No, not Lord Anson, we're merely friends. But I wanted to ask your opinion on something, if I may. It's about a friend, not Matilda or Genevieve, but another young lady you do not know." Not that there was another friend with whom she spoke, but she needed to know her mother's thoughts on the matter.

"Of course, what is concerning you?" her mother asked.

"Well, she's from a wealthy, highly positioned family, but she's started to have feelings for a man who is not her equal. He's untitled and illegitimate, but wealthy. Do you think she ought to ask her parents if they would accept him? What she feels for this young man is heartfelt, and he likes her very much in return."

"Oh dear, Charlotte, that is a predicament. I do not know what your father and I would do should you or your brother come to us and say such things. To be illegitimate would place a shadow over any children your friend may have. Although they would have financial security, I doubt very few families would accept them into their social sphere. They would become social pariahs, and any chance their children would have of making a good match would be very difficult indeed."

"So you're saying that you and Papa would have nothing to do with me or Christopher should we fall in love with someone who was not our equal?" The thought that she might have to choose between her family and Alexander was a choice she did not want to make. Although she knew deep down she would choose Alexander, she would miss her family dreadfully, and her life would never be as happy as it was with all of them in it.

Her chest tightened at the thought of losing her family, and tears prickled her eyes. "Do you not think that is cruel, Mama? Why are we so above everyone else?"

Her mother chuckled, and Charlotte lost all hope of trying to win her parent over to the thought of her marrying Alexander.

"Because, my dear, you're the daughter of a duke. You are from one of the most powerful families in England, and one of the wealthiest. You have a brother who will take over the dukedom, securing your position even more. You are an heiress, beautiful and accomplished. I could not imagine if you married a man who was not fit to touch your slippers. An illegitimate rich man is not who we would allow to court you, and I think you ought to speak to your friend and guide her to more acceptable choices. To marry beneath one's status is not just marrying a viscount or baron, but a bastard, my dear. Oh no, this would never do, and your friend is only setting herself up for disappointment and pain." Her mama paused, frowning.

Charlotte's throat tightened, and her heart raced.

"This is a friend and not yourself you speak of? Please tell me you are not embroiled in some seedy infatuation with someone not your equal."

"Oh no, it's not me or any of my close friends," she lied, slipping her arm around her mama's and looking back out on the throng of guests.

"So, who else can you recommend for me, Mama?" she asked, wanting to change the subject before her mother became even more suspicious.

"Will you advise your friend?" her mother asked with a pointed stare. "You must tell her to stop her foolishness before it is too late."

Charlotte met her mama's concerned gaze and nodded. "I shall advise her and hope she makes the right choice."

"Yes, well, let us hope that she does." Her mother sighed and seemed to shake herself from their conversation. "Now, back to who's eligible for you. What about Lord Lygon? I've caught him glancing at you several times this evening alone. Has he asked you to dance?"

"No, he has not, but is he not chronically shy? I think that is probably why he has not approached me."

"Well, why do you not go and speak to him, make it look like it happens by chance?"

"We have not been introduced, Mama."

Her mother clicked her tongue. "No one need know, Charlotte."

Charlotte conceded to her fate this evening and would do as her mama asked. "I shall speak to him this evening."

"Oh, and Lord Godley. I had a luncheon with his mama last Thursday, and he's on the hunt for a wife. He has a Scottish estate and one in Hampshire, both lovely places to live."

"Mother, I'm not going to choose my husband based on where his country estates are situated."

"Well, I was merely saying. Scotland is supposed to be quite charming, even if it is so very far away, and Hampshire is divine."

"Mother," she chastised, wanting to roll her eyes at her parent's thoughts on choosing a husband. "Whatever happened to falling in love? To be consumed with thoughts of him, his touch, his kisses?" she blurted, remembering the soft touch of Alexander's fingers on her face, his demanding kisses that ignited her soul.

Her mother gasped. "Charlotte, that is not how you choose a husband. Nothing good ever came from being under too much power of a man. Unless the man feels all those things, a woman must not, or they will forever be in his control."

"And if they both feel this way? Is that not a perfect match?" she asked.

"Well, that would indeed be ideal, so long as he's suitable in all the other ways we spoke of. You cannot fall in love with a commoner who is not titled, wealthy, and illegitimate."

Charlotte finished her drink and handed it to a passing footman. "I'm off, Mama. I see Lord Lygon is free. Let me go and see if I can make him fall in love with me."

"Do not be so sharp, my dear. I tell you all this only to assist you."

Charlotte threw her mother a small smile, but she walked away deflated. Her parents would never accept Alexander, and she knew that for certain. Now, the choice would be hers—Alexander or her family. An unimaginable choice.