Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

Dr. O’Hara had told her things would get worse before they got better. She hadn’t really believed him, but after the miserable night and following day, she was starting to think he might really know what he was talking about.

Things got pretty hazy after she’d gone back to bed and Hank had left. Sophie remembered her mother coming to visit the next morning. Then she remembered Lori and Junie coming to see her, though they stood in the hallway so they wouldn’t catch her germs.

After that was when the strange dreams had started. She could’ve sworn her house had been full of people, like there was a party going on she hadn’t been invited to. And then the dream shifted back to Hank. Who was this man who’d seemed to always be part of her life, but who was still a stranger? She’d dreamed of the simple kiss he’d given her, and oh how she wanted so much more. But then the dream had turned to images of her father.

By the time she’d woken again, she was covered in sweat, the bedcovers were tangled, and her body felt like she’d been in a boxing match all night. And Hank was still on her mind.

Sophie looked around her room, glad to see it was empty, and she noted that it was still dark outside. She couldn’t remember the last time she saw daylight, but the clock on her nightstand said it was just after six. Whether that was six in the morning or six in the evening she wasn’t sure.

She stretched her muscles gingerly, trying to take an assessment of her body. The fever was gone. The headache was gone. And she knew whatever had transpired while she’d been asleep had been her body fighting off the infection. But she felt like she’d been through the wringer.

The floors creaked as she padded to the bathroom and got into the shower. And when she got out again she knew the worst of the sickness was behind her. She dried off and put on clean pajamas, and then she checked the time on her phone. It was morning, which meant she’d slept an entire day.

Her phone was filled with missed texts and calls, but she’d get to them later. There was a heaviness in her heart. If she’d missed an entire day then it meant that today was Friday, and her mother would be leaving. It was a strange feeling knowing her mother wouldn’t be just around the corner, or that she wouldn’t pop in for coffee and an update on Sophie’s nonexistent social life.

And the grief she felt was overwhelming. But she knew this was the best thing for her mother. The light on her face when she spoke of it was enough to know that she’d made the right choice. Her mother was young, and she still had a lot of life left to live.

Sophie thought maybe the problem she was having with her mother’s departure was that for all these years, she’d been there to look after her mom. She hadn’t done it while her dad was still alive. There’d been no match for him when he was drunk and angry, and they’d all learned to stay out of his way. But after his death, Sophie had done everything she could to make sure her mom was taken care of. She’d gone to work as soon as she’d turned sixteen so her mother could quit one of her jobs. She’d made sure bills were paid and she put in extra time at the bookstore when she wasn’t in school or at her job so Maggie could get a night off every once in a while. And she’d made sure Junie had everything she’d needed for school and cheerleading and all the other things she was involved in.

And now there was no one for her to take care of. Junie was married and would never have to worry for anything ever again. And her mother was about to chase her dreams. Sophie found herself feeling abandoned and a little sad at the thought. The bookstore had always been her dream. And now she was about to lose that too.

Sophie stripped the sheets on her bed, deciding she could at least get some things done around the house as long as she was still banished from the bookstore. But as she stepped into the hallway to head to the laundry room, her mouth dropped open in shock.

There were Christmas lights everywhere, twinkling along the walls and around the light fixtures. And as she moved toward the entrance she saw her Christmas village had been set up on the entry table and wreaths hung on the door and all the windows. The smell of fresh pine and cinnamon reminded her of her childhood in this very house. Those were the good memories. Her mother always made Christmas special. And for some reason it was the only holiday her father didn’t get falling-down drunk. It was the only time of year they could pretend to be a real family.

Her chest was tight as she looked into the kitchen and saw a garland and a small Christmas tree in the kitchen window. And then she went into the living room and tears filled her eyes. In a corner of the room was a freshly cut tree that had been decorated with the ornaments that had been up in the attic. Ornaments made by her and Junie, and other keepsake ornaments that had been her grandmother’s. They were all there. And nestled in the branches of the tree was a red envelope.

She somehow knew it was from Hank before she opened it. Over the last few days he’d surprised her more than she’d ever been surprised in her life. She hated to admit it, but no one had ever sent her flowers before. Much less sent them two days in a row. And now this.

Her fingers shook as she reached up to take the envelope, and she looked at her name printed neatly on the front. She slid her finger under the flap and then pulled out the card inside.

Sophie,

I wanted to give you Christmas. I hope it makes you smile.

Love,

Hank

Sophie read it twice more before she found herself sighing. She was smiling, and there was nothing that could wipe it off her face. He seemed to always know the right things to do where she was concerned. Well, almost always. Offering to buy her bookstore had been a dud, but he’d made up for it quickly.

She started a fire in the fireplace and turned on Christmas music to complete the mood. She didn’t care if it wasn’t yet dawn. Christmas could be celebrated at any time, and that’s exactly what she was going to do. She eyed the neatly wrapped presents beneath the tree and bit her lip in curiosity. Surely Hank hadn’t done all this and gotten her gifts.

She leaned down to look at the tags and her eyes filled. All the gifts were from her mother and Aunt Lori with specific instructions not to open until Christmas Day. She sniffled even as she chuckled at the written warning her mother had left. They knew her well. She’d never been able to resist a little peek or shake of what was under the tree.

She hugged the note Hank had left to her chest and went to the laundry room to put the sheets in the washer. Then she headed to the kitchen, humming under her breath as she looked back and forth between the kettle and the coffeepot. She knew tea was probably the better option, but coffee was calling her name. She measured out grounds and started the machine and then looked for something to eat. She decided toast was probably the safest bet.

The coffee was still brewing when she heard the key in the lock and the front door opened.

“Yoo-hoo,” her mother called out. “It’s me.”

“In the kitchen,” Sophie said, smiling.

And in came her mother, wrapped up in her long wool coat and scarf and covered with snow.

“Did you roll around in the front yard?” Sophie asked.

“It’s getting bad out there,” she said, stepping into the little mudroom and laundry area off the kitchen and taking off her coat to hang it up. “All this snow is just in time to remind me that it’s eighty degrees right now in Florida and I’m going to throw this coat away.”

Sophie chuckled and poured herself a cup of coffee. If her mother felt this way about the snow now, the next five months would be torture.

Maggie looked Sophie over from head to toe like only mothers could do. “Well, you look better than you did. You’re very pale. But the fever looks like it’s gone. You still look like something the cat dragged in.”

“Thanks, Mom,” she said, adding cream and sugar to her cup. “I can always count on you to keep it real. Coffee?”

“That’s what I’m here for,” she said, grinning. “And I’ll take tea.” And then she moved to the stove to take care of it herself. Her mother had lived in this house for a lot of years, and knew how to make herself at home.

“So…” Maggie asked. “How has your morning been? Christmasy?”

Sophie looked at the excitement on her mother’s face and knew she and Hank had been in on her Christmas surprise together. She put down her mug and walked straight into her mother’s arms for a hug.

“Thank you for this,” she said. “I didn’t know how much I needed it.”

“I’d love to take all the credit, but this was Hank’s idea. He’s a force to be reckoned with once he’s got an idea in his head. Reminds me of someone else I know. You two are going to make an interesting match.”

Sophie’s head came up and she said, “Oh, no. It’s not like that.”

“Uh-huh,” her mother said, skeptically. “You keep telling yourself that. But I’ve spent the last three days with that man. He cares about you.”

“He hardly knows me,” Sophie said.

“I think he knows enough to know that you’re worth pursuing,” she said. “And he strikes me as the kind of man who knows what would suit him. And I think you suit him.”

“Because he gives me flowers and decorates my house for Christmas?”

“Because he listens to your heart,” she said gently. “You’re a strong and independent woman, and I’m so proud of you for all you’ve accomplished. Don’t think I didn’t know the burdens you took on much too young. You’ve always worked and worked hard. You put yourself through college and made sure that you had an understanding of business, not to help you , but because you thought it would help me with the bookstore.”

“That’s not true,” she said. “A business degree was the most practical.”

Her mother just smiled with understanding, and Sophie felt like a child again and she’d somehow missed the mark.

“You’ve always protected those you love,” she said. “Look at Junie. It’s like the two of you were raised in completely different households. You always stood in front of Junie or sent her to another room when your dad was in a bad way. You made sure she had new clothes and was able to fit in with the popular girls at school. And Junie did what she always said she was going to do. She married a wealthy man and is living the life none of us ever had. It’s just good fortune that she happens to love Rory and he feels the same about her.

“You know I love both of you equally, but Junie doesn’t have your strength and grit. She doesn’t know what it is to suffer because you made sure she didn’t. I should have been the one to protect both of you, instead of letting you stand in the gap, and that’s my failure to live with.”

“No, Mom,” Sophie said, shaking her head in denial.

“Hush now,” she said. “That’s the truth and you know it. We can all make excuses for the way we did things, but we did them and we can’t change it. If I’d had a real backbone I would have left your father when y’all were little. But that’s not how I was raised, so I stayed, despite my better judgment. And it was wrong. I’m telling you that now. And I’m asking you to forgive me.”

“There is nothing to forgive,” Sophie said vehemently. “You did the best you could, and your best was amazing. Junie and I know that. We love you.”

Her mother’s eyes glittered with tears, but they didn’t fall. “I know you do. All I want is for both of you to be happy. And all I’m saying is that maybe you don’t realize how much people love you , because you don’t think you deserve it. But you do deserve it. Having Mitch Jacobs for a father didn’t break you. It shaped you. Now it’s time to figure out who you really are and forgive the kid you were. Your father’s shortcomings weren’t your fault.

“I don’t know the future,” she continued. “But I’ve known the O’Haras since I married your father. Anne O’Hara gave me a job and paid me more than any sane woman should because she wanted to save my pride and make sure we could keep a roof over our head. And then she got her friends to hire me. She sat me down and gave me coffee and food and conversation when I didn’t have anyone, and I love her for it. She’s been my friend a long time.

“I’ve watched Hank grow up, mostly from a distance, and I’ve heard Anne’s heart when it comes to her sons. And I can tell you that Hank is a good man and he’s a compassionate man. He has a servant’s heart, and he wants to help no matter where he is or who he’s dealing with. It’s part of the reason he’s been so successful in business.”

“So you think I’m some sort of project for him?” Sophie asked, her spine straightening.

“Don’t put words into my mouth, young lady,” Maggie said. “I’m saying that if you soften your heart and take down that guard you keep wrapped around you, that you might find a true partner in life. And I think deep down, that’s something you want, but it’s also something you’re scared of.”

Sophie didn’t know how to respond. She was numb, and she wanted to deny the things her mother was saying. But she couldn’t.

Her mother sighed and came up to her, putting her hand to her cheek. “I love you.”

“I know you do,” Sophie said.

“Good. Now give yourself a break. You’ve always been much harder on yourself than anyone else. Now sit down and let me fix you some eggs before you fall over. You should probably still be in bed.”

“I spent yesterday sleeping,” Sophie said, but she dropped into the kitchen chair. Daylight was streaming through the windows, but the sky was overcast as the snow continued to fall. She wrapped her hands around her cup and finally asked the question she’d been dreading. “What time are you leaving?”

“As soon as I leave here,” she said. “I said my goodbyes to Junie last night. The moving truck will be at the house at nine. We’re all packed and ready to go.”

Sophie’s chest tightened, but she tried to smile. “Well then, I hope you’ll join me for breakfast.”

Maggie smiled. “I’d love to.”