39. Valentina

Chapter 39

Valentina

R onan’s a tense mess when he gets home after his meeting with Cormac. I pour him a drink and rub his shoulders while we sit on the couch in his living room together. He finishes half his glass of whiskey in one go and leans forward, head hanging, elbows on his knees.

“If I walk away, nobody gets hurt.” He doesn’t look at me as he says it. I know how much this is killing him. I remember how terrible those early days after my father’s murder were when I had to witness my own family break into bloody pieces. Back then, Marco was the only person that cared about me; he saved my life when there were multiple Capos that would’ve happily ended it.

An ugly, horrible knot twists my guts. “You can’t do that,” I tell him. “That won’t solve anything. It’ll only hand the family over to Cormac, and he’ll run it straight into the ground.”

“I know you’re right, love, but it’s killing me, the thought of hurting my own cousins.”

“They’re traitors. They’re?—”

“My people,” he says, looking back at me.

I lean against him and wrap my arms around his shoulders. I hug him tight, kiss his neck, and wish I could draw some of his pain into my body, if only to relieve some of his suffering for a little while.

He tells me all about the meeting, gives me details about what Cormac said and how he was feeling. When he finishes, I take his hand in mine and lean into him, lifting my legs into his lap.

“When my father died, the Santoro Famiglia broke up faster than I would’ve guessed.” I close my eyes. I hate talking about this, but I think he needs to hear it.

“I’ve heard rumors,” he admits, “but nothing concrete.”

“They were men I’ve known my whole life. I grew up with their children. I was in multiple weddings, attended funerals, went on vacation with them. We were close. But when my father passed, the fight to become the new Don was terrible, and it ended up killing a lot of them.” I tell him about the drive-by shootings, about the stabbings, about the four days of slaughter that culminated in Marco hiding me away in a safehouse for six weeks before the heat finally died down. “These were people that swore their lives to each other barely a few months earlier, and suddenly they’re slaughtering each other as though they had been blood enemies their entire lives. It was so hard to believe, but the second it turned, it turned fast . That’s what I need you to understand, Ronan.”

His breathing is slow and steady. “Cormac’s going to come for us.”

“I’d bet on a day or two, but yeah, he definitely will. He’s desperate, right? If he can’t get you to step down on your own, he’ll turn straight to violence.”

Ronan closes his eyes. I hate that he’s going through this. I hate that I played a role in it, even if he made it clear that I wasn’t really the catalyst, that this had all been brewing for a while before I entered the picture.

I still blame myself. The alliance between Marco, Ronan, Adam, Dusan, and Julien broke up in violence; my family shattered against its own self-hate; and now Ronan’s organization is about to experience its own civil war. Whenever I’m involved, violence inevitably follows.

Rationally, I can see how none of that is my fault, that I’ve been the victim of shitty circumstances, but it doesn’t really help make me feel any better.

Even though I want to go take a long shower and cry myself to sleep, I keep it together for Ronan’s sake. He needs me right now, and if I’m going to help him avert the worst outcome of this fight, I have to start putting my past behind me and moving on. If I can’t do it for myself, I can at least do it for Ronan.

“There aren’t a lot of options,” he says at last. “A good number of our best soldiers went with Cormac. We have more men in total, but he’s got the youngest and the best fighters. In a straight-up war, I’m afraid we’re too evenly matched.”

“Then you need to find an edge.”

“If you know of something, feel free to let me know.”

I press my lips together. “Rocco might help.”

“Great, we can add half a dozen more Italian soldiers of dubious loyalty to the ranks.”

“It’s better than nothing.”

He nods and leans into me. “You’re right. Call him for me.” He kisses me gently. “I’m stressed, love. I don’t want to see my family start tearing itself apart.”

“I know. I don’t either.” I press my forehead against his shoulder and breathe in his smell. I lean into him and he kisses me again, and slowly that kiss deepens into something warm and desperate as his hands move over my body.

I know what he needs. I need it too. I pull off my top and straddle him, and we kiss furiously, trying to forget about the bloody fighting that’s about to happen, trying to put aside the nightmare we’ve found ourselves in. I want something better, something pure, and when I’m in his arms and his body is wrapped against mine, I feel like I’m almost there.

He groans as I take off my clothes for him. He lifts his hips and tugs off his slacks, and I hide my breasts with my hands. His cock is so hard it’s twitching for me as I step closer to him, shivering with anticipation.

“Come here, love,” he says, his voice thick with desire.

I straddle him again. His lips find my nipples and I whimper as his tip slides inside of me. I go down, down, and he’s deeper and deeper, until he’s buried between my legs. We kiss and I begin to ride him, sliding up and down, my wet pussy gripping him tight as he thrusts into me with desperate and needy groans.

I go faster. His hands grab my ass and he slaps hard. It feels so fucking good I could scream. I release everything, let go of all the stress and fear, and let him fill me over and over. There’s only Ronan, his taste, his big dick fucking me nice and hard as sweat rolls down my back. He bites my lip and tells me how good I feel, how much he loves fucking me, how I’m a bad, filthy girl, and he needs me more than he ever thought he could. I go faster, the orgasm building in my core, not caring about anything else in the world.

This is the release we both crave. I come hard in his lap, and he’s not far behind me. I feel him fill me to the brim, and it leaves me breathing hard, ears ringing, pulse pounding between my legs.

We end up in a naked heap on the couch. He strokes my hair and leaves one hand on my ass. I like the way he keeps touching me, even after we’re spent, like he can’t help himself.

“Can I admit something?” I ask and kiss his neck.

“You can say whatever you want to me right now, love.”

“I don’t know how I ever lived without that.”

He laughs and kisses me, fist gripping my hair. “I feel the same way.”

We lapse into silence. I’m finally calm. Most of my nerves are washed away by the orgasm, and my head’s clear enough to think. As he plays with my hair, absently stroking it, I think about what I said earlier: all we need is an edge.

He’s right though, Rocco won’t be much of a help. We can’t go to any of the biker clubs, not after that crap with Gregory, and there’s no way I’d ever let myself get involved with the Biancos.

There’s Dusan, but I doubt he’d want anything to do with this mess. There’s Adam’s former family, but with him dead, I suspect the Polish Mob is busy trying to find a new leader.

There aren’t many powers left in the city.

Until I realize I’ve been forgetting one important piece of the puzzle.

“I think I may have an idea,” I say, leaning back.

Ronan’s eyes move to my breasts. I try not to smile as his gaze lingers. “Does that involve going upstairs and letting me fuck you until neither of us can stand?”

“Uhm, yes, we’ll definitely do that, but I have another idea. I want you to promise that you’ll listen.”

He groans and meets my eyes. “You know it’s not fair to bring this up when you’re naked and looking like that. All I can think about is that pretty mouth wrapped around my cock right now.”

“Just listen, okay? Promise? Then my pretty mouth really will wrap around your nice, big cock.”

He groans and kisses me. “You’re bad. I like that about you.”

I feel him already starting to stiffen, and I know I have only a minute or two before he’s too distracted, so I make sure I talk fast.