14. Jolene

"I'm sorry about what happened."

"What're you talking about?" I knew he was up to something the way he kept puttering around my kitchen instead of taking his stink ass off somewhere. I'd heard him come in last night and walk to my door, but he knew better than to bother me after I didn't answer him when he asked if I was still up.

This morning looked so different than usual. Before the mess he'd made, we would sit here and enjoy our breakfast together while talking over our plans for the day. There was no animosity then, no anger, no hate. Now, those things are heavy in the air, and I hate that I have to acknowledge him in any way, but for the sake of my kids, I'll bite my tongue.

That was one of the conclusions I'd come to last night. My anger at him had caused me to act in ways that were foreign to me, and without realizing it, I was becoming someone I was not proud of. That was giving him and that little girl he was running around with too much power. That being said, I have no plans of being his buddy.

"I know the cops came to question you yesterday; I didn't know she was going to do that. I'm sorry you had to go through that."

I wasn't sure how to answer him or if I wanted to. I didn't realize we were at the point in this fiasco where he could discuss his floozy in my damn kitchen.

I didn't even bother answering him; I just got up and walked away because, seriously? What the fuck? "Jolene!"

"Fuck off!" Yup, I'm going to start acting like that grown-up any day now.

"Are you planning to be like this for the rest of our lives?"

"Actually, no, I'm waiting for you to get out of my house so I can start living my new life."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but take a guess. Thank the Lord I had my kids young; now I can party like a rockstar." I don't even know what the hell that means, but I've heard the kids saying it, and it seemed to fit.

"What do you mean party?" He really is a jackass. I kept going, and he followed quick on my heels, making a nuisance of himself.

"What is it that you want now, Kevin?"

"I want an answer; you're not acting like yourself."

"Oh, and you are? Were you acting like yourself when you fucked someone younger than our youngest son?" Why am I saying this shit? I am all the way over it already, so why? That's what I get for even entertaining him in the first place.

"Fine, you wanna talk about the affair? Let's talk."

"I have no interest in hearing the gory details, thank you very much. I just want you out of my face. Please go away." He's got nerve. He came crawling home later than usual, which meant he was with her or whoever he's screwing around with these days and had the nerve to come at me with his shit.

"By the way, you don't have to apologize for sending the cops after me. If you hadn't or she hadn't, I wouldn't have met the hottie I'm gonna ride before the ink dries on our divorce." He looked like a guppy with his mouth opening and closing without uttering a word.

He tried storming up the stairs after me, and I don't know what got into me, but I kicked backward with my right foot and heard him go down. Looks like I got him in the balls. I only looked back long enough to make sure I didn't kick him down the stairs because I didn't want him dying in my house.

He was holding his crotch with that glassy look in his eyes. "Jo, what the hell?" He gritted out the words.

"Don't follow me." I left him there crouching while holding his family jewels, headed to my room, and locked the door.

Why do I still feel bad for him? Shouldn't I have reached the point where I no longer care if he lives or dies? That idiot. Why the hell did he have to go and do this to us? Why did he have to turn out to be one of those weak men who can't control their dicks?

He fucked up our whole existence for some pussy that I'd bet my left tit wasn't worth it. She's eighteen years old. What the hell does she know? I'd really like to know what goes through people's heads when they decide to do this shit.

It"s as if the little devil on their shoulder takes over, and they make the biggest mistake of their lives. No thought to the repercussions or the damage they do to the heart and soul of the partner who trusted them enough to take vows with them.

I only realized I was crying when a tear dropped on my hand. I looked at that little drop of water for the longest while as if I couldn't make sense of what it was.

Was this really it? Was my life really at a crossroads that I never expected to face? Why didn't I prepare better? Why did I trust and love him so much? And what's more, why didn't he feel the same for me?

* * *

DALTON

* * *

"What game areyou playing with my daughter-in-law?"

"Whatever do you mean?"

"Don't play games with me, I saw you and my son being rather chummy a few days ago and put two and two together. I was wondering why, with a clear-cut case like hers, it was taking so long, but I guess now I know. Give her what she wants, or I'll make your life a living hell."

"I don't understand; why would you go against your son in this situation? All the boy wants is another chance to fix his family."

"She's been my daughter since she was fourteen years old. What? You think I should let you and my ass of a son walk all over her because she's not my blood? Think again. She's the mother of my grandkids and not you, not my son; not anyone is going to fuck her over and get away with it. Now, do the right thing unless you want to lose your job."

It"s too little too late, but it's about time I start paying closer attention to what the hell is going on in my family. It's true that I never expected those two to end up like this; as far as I was concerned, that little lady was the best thing to happen to my boy after the way his mother raised him.

She had a good head on her shoulders, even when they were younger, and was the only person I know who knew how to keep him in line after his mother raised him to think the sun shines out his ass.

Do I want my family broken apart? Of course not, but I refuse to watch on the sidelines while a decent human being is being railroaded. I love my son, but right now, I don't like him. I think what he did was ignorant, and I want to plant my foot in his ass for hurting that sweet girl.

He was the one who chose to let her go, but that doesn't mean she's not part of my family and will always be because she gave me the four biggest blessings of my life, and for that, she'd always have a seat at my table.

I hope, like hell, he doesn't think that I'm about to accept anyone else he brings in front of me. Had Jolene been the one to step out of the marriage, that would be a different story. But she wasn't; she did everything a wife should do, so why would I penalize her for what my idiot son did?

I've seen divorce and what it can do, and one of the things I never understood is how families stick beside the wrongdoer in the name of blood. No, sir, not over here. These bible-thumping assholes seem to forget that there was a time when the parents were asked to throw the first stone at the evil ass kid.

Now, we have forgiveness, sure, but where does it say you have to forget? My wife is madder than hell because I refuse to turn my back on my daughter because her son is an ass. It won't happen; Jolene was as much a part of this family as Kevin for more than a quarter of a century, she did no wrong, but I'm still supposed to cut her out of my life and treat her like shit because she did her job well. That makes sense.

* * *

KEVIN

* * *

"What changed?I thought you were going to give me some time, judge?"

"Yeah, well, someone has been sniffing around this case, and if there's an investigation, it could mean both our asses. Take the loss, son; there's nothing more you can do." He just hung up the phone and hung me out to dry.

Is my life really over? Is this the end of us? Why do I feel like it's just another day? The sky outside looks the same, the air coming through the air conditioner vent sounds the same, and even the voices of the hospital staff as they filter down the hall seem like any other day.

I couldn't move and almost couldn't feel my legs before they started shaking. What the hell have I done? What have I really done? Did I really think I could get away with it? That I could fuck around and just go back to things the way they were?

Yeah, because I didn't expect my wife to find out. There was no reason for her to. Not unless someone intentionally did that shit, and from the way Anne has been acting lately, I'm kinda leaning toward her being the culprit.

Because of some things I'd only just overheard, right before he called while standing outside the hospital room door, I'm almost certain she did it, that the two of them, she and her mother, had purposely let slip that I was sleeping with her, and I now know that it was to get back at my wife for some perceived slight.

I stood out there, trying to hear more, but they lowered their voices. Then my phone vibrated, and when I saw who it was, I walked away to take the call. Now I'm standing here feeling numb with none of the joy and excitement I'd felt before this hell became my life.

I don't even love this girl. We have nothing in common; how can we when she's just barely out of high school while I've been raising a family and have kids who are all older than she is?

Did I really think I could relive my high school days? Was that it? Did I expect to go back to one of the happiest times of my life and relive it all again? If so, I'd missed a step because the person beside me who had made that time as glorious as it was was the person I was about to lose.

I lost sight of that. The fact that it was having her in my life that had made it so special. The fact that all my best memories were with her and the love we shared. Does this mean that Jo no longer loves me?

That she's not just being mad and hurt because of the affair? I thought for sure that once the anger faded, she would see sense and accept that it wasn't worth it to throw away the life we'd built together.

Until now, until that phone call, I think I really did believe there was a chance that we could come back from this. I made myself believe that she loved me too much to just walk away over a stupid mistake.

I looked back at the hospital room door and walked in the opposite direction. I don't want this. I don't want any of this. My heart was hurting so bad I had to rub my chest, and when I got into my car, I had to sit there for a while before I could turn the key in the ignition.

Things that had been muddled for the last little while became much clearer. Now, there were no clouds and no doubts about what I wanted, but I think it might be too late.

Not only that, but it seemed I had thrown my life away for someone who didn't even want me; she just wanted to hurt my wife. I'm not sure how to feel about that, but this day has been one of awakening. I must've had blinders on before, I guess, not to see what was right in front of me.

From what little I'd overheard, it would appear that the whole thing was planned between mother and daughter. Her coming to work for me was not by chance; it was a setup from beginning to end.

The worst part is coming to terms with the fact that it worked and that they knew it would. What does that say about me? What was it about me that made them so sure I'd give in?