10. Jolene

Iknew that jackass was going to be home waiting for me as soon as I walked through the door, and I was right. After I dropped Sheila off, I drove around a bit just to avoid the confrontation I knew was coming. Not because I was afraid but because I didn't want to spend another minute of my time on that waste of space.

"We need to talk." I tried walking past him in the kitchen and heading up the stairs, but he blocked my way.

"What do you want?"

"You can't seriously believe that my father is going to do all those things he said."

"If that's true, why are you so worried about it?" I looked at him for the first time then and felt nothing but disgust. Did he really begrudge me this? What the hell happened to him?

Instead of the boy I'd fallen in love with all those years ago, I saw a selfish, egotistical jackass that had seemingly lost the sense the good Lord gave him. There was one more thing that I was very glad to realize at that moment as he stood there breathing fire; I no longer felt the same.

I've been walking around here breathing fire for weeks on end, doing my very best to keep my true feelings hidden, but at that moment, I realized that it was no longer an act. How did that happen? I would be the first to say that love isn't something you can just toss to the side like a used-up napkin. I never once believed that true love could actually wither up and die, but as I looked up at him, I realized that I was no longer masking my true feelings of hurt behind bravado.

I genuinely felt nothing. It was shocking. How, when? What the hell? Somehow, I think he realized it as well because he took a step back, and the look on his face was as if he finally got it. I saw realization dawn, saw the look in his eyes as he took another step back.

I didn't even realize that he'd grabbed my arm until he let it go. "Was there anything else?"

"No…no." He looked befuddled and confused as I turned and walked away. What the hell is wrong with me?

If I was a greedy person who'd been in it this whole time for his inheritance, that would be an easy explanation, but I hadn't been; I had genuinely loved this man. So what the hell happened?

Even when I was angry as hell at him, I knew I still had feelings for him. I thought it was just my stubbornness, my hurt, and regret for the damage he'd done after more than twenty-five years of life and love together.

So, how did it just evaporate like this in the space of one brunch? I know myself very well. It wasn't Dalton's money or any of the things he'd promised. I was getting more than my due in the divorce as it stands.

Was it the validation from my father-in-law? Could that be it? No, that wouldn't have been enough to make me have this change. Was it something Sheila said back there in the car? No, that wasn't it, either.

So what the hell happened? Why the hell am I like this? I had all plans to rub this new turn of events in his face, to carry out my plan to torment him until the judge got some sense and dissolved this already dead union between him and me.

Now, I don't have the energy to fight with him; all I want is to be done with him and this broken marriage that I have no desire to fight for. Where's the pain and hurt? The rage and bloodthirst that I had only this morning when I woke up.

I ran upstairs to the bathroom mirror as if expecting to see something different, but no, I looked the same. I felt my forehead for fever, but there was none. The only thing that was different was the feeling in my heart.

I rubbed my hand over my chest to see if the damn thing was still there, but it was as calm as a sea of glass. I ran back to the bed where I'd dropped my phone and grabbed it to call Sheila.

"What happened? Did that jackass say something to you? I'm on my way." She hung up before I could get a word in.

Ten minutes later, she was standing over me after yelling something that I couldn't make out at my soon-to-be-ex downstairs. "What happened?" She looked genuinely afraid.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I think I might need to check myself into the psych ward."

"What? Why?" She already had wet eyes when she dropped down on the bed beside me.

"I don't feel anything anymore."

"What do you mean?" I sat up and looked around the room, expecting to feel something, anything. I was starting to spook myself.

"I mean, I don't care anymore. There's no more anger, no more hate. I feel…done, just over it all. Is that normal? That's not normal, is it?"

"Girl, you were like to give me a damn heart attack. I broke the sound barrier getting here."

She flopped back across the bed and rubbed her own chest. "Tell me everything." I did my best to explain what was going on inside my head the best I could, and she just listened without interruption. "So, you see, I don't even feel like bickering with him anymore, nothing."

"I don't care; the marriage is over, and I feel like I've already mourned; now it's time to move on. But it hasn't been that long, so why do I feel like this? It's not emptiness; it feels like…acceptance?"

"That's a good thing; that's a blessing. There's nothing wrong with you. That's because you're strong; you know your self-worth."

"But I knew all those things before, and I still wanted to give him hell for what he did to me, to our family. Now, for some reason, I don't care to even exist in this house with him. I don't want to fight anymore; I just want to get on with my life."

I looked at her, searching for answers because this was really bugging me. How had I just switched off like that? This had never happened to me before. I've never just gone from one emotion to the next this quickly.

I was genuinely crushed just a few weeks ago, and though I wanted the divorce, there was still hurt and anger over his betrayal. So where did it all go? "Nothing happened, but as I was driving around after leaving you, it's like I had some sort of epiphany. I stopped thinking about the past. I told myself that he'd moved on, and there was no point in me giving any more energy to something that was already dead."

"I'd been all set to divorce him and move the hell on with my life, sure, but I wanted to hurt him as much as I could in the process. Now, I don't seem to care, and I'm not just saying that. I looked at him downstairs just now, and it hit me: I no longer love that man."

"Really? You just so happened to fall out of love with me the second my father talked about his will?" We both jumped and looked towards the door where Kevin stood, breathing fire. "I wish I had the energy to deal with this jackass, but I don't, you deal with him."

I rolled over and turned my back, leaving Sheila to do her thing. At least she still had enough anger left for the both of us.