Friday, July 15, 1994

Friday, July 15, 1994

3:37 p.m.

Ethan doesn't stop running until both feet are firmly planted in the grass of his own backyard. He's never run that far in his life, and now he worries about the toll it's taking on his body. His legs feel like rubber bands, and his heart thumps so heavily in his chest he fears it's going to explode. He collapses onto the lawn, unconcerned that his mother might see him like this and ask what he's been up to. He'd gladly tell her. Because someone needs to know what happened to Billy.

Instead of his mother, the sight of Ethan splayed out on the grass draws Ashley, Russ, and Ragesh, who push through the hedge bordering Russ's lawn.

"Where's Billy?" Ashley says, peering into the woods as if he's simply lagging behind.

"He—" Still breathless, Ethan can barely get the necessary words out. "He got caught."

"Caught?" Ragesh says. "By that guy in the suit?"

Ethan nods, dizzy from the thought of it. He replays the image of the man in the black suit—so huge, so intimidating—reaching Billy, wondering what happened after that. Is Billy still trapped between the gate's bars? Or is he in the clutches of the suited man? The idea that, right now, Billy might be getting roughed up makes him want to puke.

Ashley kneels beside Ethan and helps him sit up. Rubbing his back, she says, "Okay, tell us what happened."

That's something Ethan can't do because it would mean admitting to the others not just that he left Billy behind, but his reasons for doing so. Instead, he gives them a hollow version of the truth.

"The guy got to him before Billy could get away."

Ragesh starts pacing in the grass. "Do you think he's going to tell on us?"

"That's what you're worried about?" Ashley says. "Billy could be in big trouble."

"And so could we," Ragesh says. "You saw that place. It's not somewhere we should have been trespassing."

"Which is why I didn't want you going through that goddamn wall."

Afraid the two of them are going to exchange blows, Ethan pipes up. "We need to tell someone. My mom. Or Billy's mom."

"No way," Ashley says. A surprise to Ethan. Until now, he'd assumed she was on his side. "I was the one in charge. If people find out about this, I'm never going to get a babysitting job again. And I need that money."

Suddenly, Ethan understands. Ashley has told him all about her plans for going to Woodstock and how the money she's earning from watching him will make that happen. Ethan, for his part, doesn't want another babysitter. Even though Ashley won't be with him every day, now that his mom lost her job, he at least likes knowing she'd still be his babysitter whenever she is needed.

"Then we can go back for him," Ethan says.

Ragesh scoffs. "And get caught ourselves? No thank you."

"But we have to do something. We can't just leave him there."

"Why not?" Russ says.

He stands at a slight remove from the rest of them, facing the woods. Whereas Ashley looks worried and Ragesh annoyed, to Ethan's eyes Russ appears contemplative.

"Because he might be in trouble," Ethan says.

"Maybe he should be. He's the one who led us there."

Ethan feels something snap inside him. Like there was an elastic band stretched across his heart, keeping his emotions in check. Now it's broken, and they come tumbling forth in an ungainly heap.

"You followed him there!" he yells, tears stinging his eyes. "You and Ragesh. I didn't even want to go."

"But you did," Ragesh says in a way that makes Ethan wish he were six years older, a foot taller, and a hundred pounds heavier. Then he'd be able to flatten Ragesh to the ground.

Instead, all he can do is cry more and say, "I didn't have a choice! Now Billy's in trouble."

"And we won't be," Ragesh says. "Not if we keep our mouths shut."

"Why are you worried about him anyway?"

This comes from Russ. A question Ethan can't quite comprehend. Not because it's hard, but because the answer is so obvious. Why wouldn't he be worried about Billy?

"Because he's my best friend."

"But why?" Russ says.

Ethan pauses, surprised he can't instantly give a response. Before this moment, he's never given it any thought. He and Billy are neighbors. They're the same age. They get along. Why wouldn't they be best friends?

"Because he lives next door."

"So do I," Russ says. "Does that mean I'm your best friend, too?"

Ethan doesn't answer with an immediate yes, which makes Russ react like he's just been shoved. A falter. A frown. A darkening of the eyes until they're all but black.

"We're friends," Ethan hastily adds.

"No, I get it," Russ says.

Ashley throws out her arms, grabbing their attention. "What's important right now is what to do about Billy. Let's vote. Those in favor of doing nothing, raise your hands."

Ethan watches as Ragesh's hand shoots immediately into the air. No surprise there. The same with Russ, who sullenly glares at Ethan as his hand is raised. The real shock is when Ashley's hand also goes up, albeit slowly and with noticeable uncertainty.

"I'm sorry, Ethan. It just seems like the best thing to do for all of us."

"But what if they hurt Billy?"

"That's not going to happen," Ashley says.

"Other than trespassing, we didn't do anything wrong," Ragesh adds. "We were just messing around."

"They're probably going to give him a lecture and call his mom to pick him up," Ashley says. "He might not even be in that much trouble. And he's definitely not in any danger. They wouldn't hurt a kid."

That seals the deal for Ethan. Although it doesn't fully erase his worry, Ashley's assurance is enough for him to cast his vote with the others. He even raises his hand so they can see it's unanimous.

They've chosen silence.

And Billy is on his own.