Chapter 52

It takes hours.

Hours before I snap back into my body, nearing midnight. It's unsettling to look at myself. Naked. Exposed. Vulnerable.

When I come to, I'm quick to take another bath and get dressed. I find Beau dozing in the bed and wake her with instructions to take me to Acker's living quarters. She doesn't ask questions or inquire as to why. We walk down the main hall, stopping at an inlet with a bust on display. I look at Beau in confusion, but she shoves her fingers in the statue's nose and pulls. The wall behind it pops open.

"Every castle has its secrets," she says.

She pushes the door closed behind us, and I focus on the sound of her feet in the dark. It's a hidden passageway. It appears to stretch the length of the castle. We take a sharp turn and walk a while before Beau comes to a stop.

I don't know how she knows where we are, but she presses against the stone wall until it gives way. Then we're in another one of the main hallways. Directly across the hall is a door made of iron, and I don't need her to tell me who it belongs to.

I open my mouth to thank her, but she stops me with a raised hand. "Don't speak."

Then she stalks away, and I think I hear her gag. Looking back at the heavy door, I raise my fist to the knocker but stop myself. I test the handle, surprised when the lock gives. The door opens to a sitting room. Dark paneled walls curve inward, and the skin of a large animal is spread across the floor.

Past the leather chairs and chess table, an archway leads to the room beyond. Bed centered against a wall laden with weapons. Swords and knives of every kind, spiked maces and helmets and other tools I don't have a name for. Acker stands in the door leading to the bathroom, arms folded with a towel draped around his waist.

Neither one of us moves.

"I don't understand why you're angry with me," I tell him.

He tilts his head, eyes stark in the lantern-lined room. "I'm not angry at you, Jovie. I'm angry at the situation."

"What situation, exactly? The fact that I appeared bare or that I appeared at all? It's not as if I get to decide."

His voice comes out quick and harsh. "The fact that I was robbed of the first time I get to lay eyes on you," he says.

A sense of relief eases through my chest at his answer. "You saw me when Fia healed me."

"It's different. I was scared for your life." He shakes his head. "Tonight, I was forced to look away, to pretend I was unaffected by the sight of my match bare before me." He grits his teeth to appease the anger he's contending with before continuing. "I couldn't touch you. Could almost taste you on the edge of the glass, but I couldn't have you."

My heart aches for him as I walk toward him. He watches me with sharp eyes, gripping the doorway as if to keep himself in place. Standing before him, I'm no longer scared to hold his gaze like I was when we first met, when he seemed all-encompassing and overwhelming. Now, I realize, I want to dive into those feelings. I want all of him, all around me.

"I didn't hate it," I remind him.

He's not swayed. "I felt out of control. I pushed you—"

"No, Acker." I step forward, our chests mere inches apart as I stare up at him. "I pushed you and you pushed back. Fair is fair."

"Not when the bond is forcing you."

I keep my smile in check as I reach for the hand at his side. He lets me take it, and I turn it palm side up. The scar cutting across it is a match to my own.

"I think I knew the night we swam with the stars," I tell him, returning my eyes to his. "If you need a blood bond to prove it, I'll do it."

He sucks in a sharp breath, eyes igniting with renewed anger. Moving too quickly for me to react, he grips my hair tight at the nape of my neck. "Never offer anyone that. Not even me."

I brace my hands against his chest. "You did."

"Because I know," he says, eyes jumping between mine. "I've always known."

"You're not listening." I tilt my head back even further, making my offer clear. "I love you."

His next breath leaves him, chest caving when he closes his mouth on mine. The anger and frustration are still there, just underneath the surface of the longing crush of his mouth, tongue eager to taste every part of me. He lifts me and I wrap my legs around his waist as he walks us to the bed. He waves a hand to the door beyond the sitting room, and there's a metallic sound of the lock sliding into place. Laying me down, he moves to my neck, but I push him away with sure hands.

"Wait."

Standing, I reach across my stomach and pull the soft material of my shirt over my head, taking my brassiere with it. I tuck my thumbs into the waistband of my pants, but Acker stops me.

"Let me," he says, sinking to a knee.

He peels the material down my legs, helping me out of the pants one leg at a time before coming back up for my panties. He places a kiss on the skin he slowly exposes below my navel. Then another, lower, lower, lower, until he lavishes an open-mouthed kiss on the bundle of nerves as he lets the panties fall to my ankles. When my body shudders, he grabs my hips to keep me still.

"Acker," I plead, threading my hands in his hair. "Please."

Don't tease me. Don't make me wait. Just…please.

He drags his tongue from my center, and I nearly come from the sight alone, his dark eyes shining with mirth before me.

"Patience is not your virtue, princess," he says, standing. He removes his towel, but before I can fully appreciate him, he picks me up and lays me on my back, devouring me in another kiss. I open my legs, and he sinks into the space. Hard and creating the perfect friction, he thrusts forward, and I break from his mouth to catch my breath.

He looks down at my body. "Fuck, you're gorgeous."

He maintains the push of his hips as he grabs me by the jaw and forces his tongue into my mouth. Then he relinquishes me, trailing his hand over my throat, down my chest.

"That's what I wanted to tell you the moment I saw you," he says, smoothing a palm over one of my breasts then the other.

I arch my back in encouragement, the harsh callouses of his hands creating the best kind of sensation against my skin and nipples as he traces them with his fingertips.

"I wanted to have you right there, in front of all of them, consequences be damned."

I moan when he sucks one breast into his mouth, giving it the same decadent kiss as he did my cunt, though this time it's more biting, more urgent.

"I think I would have let you," I tell him, keeping a fierce grip on his hair.

He groans from my confession, and then he's covering me again, mouth over mine. I suck on his tongue, and a quake shoots through his body. Slipping his hand between my legs, he feels the wetness, spreading it, dipping his middle finger in. I gasp.

He stops completely. "Jovie."

I open my eyes, not having realized I'd shut them.

He's looking at me with a newfound wonder. "You've never?"

I want to lie, but I don't. I shake my head.

His breath leaves him in a shudder, fanning across my chest as he looks down at his hand. "Tell me to stop and I will."

"If you stop, I might actually kill you," I say.

He doesn't laugh. "I'll let you," he says, eyes meeting mine at the same time he pushes a little deeper inside me. "If you asked me for my life, I'm pretty sure I'd hand it over on a gold platter."

It's hard for me to focus on his words when he presses the hilt of his hand against me. I angle my hips to get better traction when he grinds it in time with the thrusts of his fingers, two now as he manages to get another in.

I say his name, drawing his attention to my eyes. "Kiss me."

So he does. He doesn't stop until I'm a writhing mess beneath him. I'm desperate for the climax as I cling to him, his shoulders and hair and chest, anywhere I can find purchase.

"I want to watch you come," he says, eyes traveling the length of me once more. "I didn't get to see you when you were in my lap."

He observes the flush as it coats my neck and chest. It feels more revealing than being naked in the room of strangers, but in the best way, like I want to give him every part of me—at least every part of me I can part with. It hits me like a tidal wave and I come apart on his hand, my grip on his hair undoubtedly severe. He doesn't seem the least bit fazed as he removes his hand and looks at the evidence of my arousal, tasting the digits with his mouth.

I'm too unwound and satiated to be shocked, but I can't deny that I like the sight of the carnal act. There's nothing but pure desire and gratification as he pulls them out. His hand is wet against my hip as he positions me.

"I'll go slow," he says, swallowing as he lines himself up with my opening. "Again, you say stop and I will."

I bring his mouth down to mine, but he doesn't let me get lost in it .

"I mean it, Jovie. Tell me if it's too much."

"Okay," I promise.

Then he's pushing in. It leaves me breathless, the sensation of him taking up so much space inside me. He pauses and releases the breath he's been holding. I push the hair from his face when he looks at me, sweat creating a layer of moisture across his skin.

Then he kisses me, pushing all the way in.

It's a lot to take in. More than enough. Possibly too much.

"Jovie, look at me."

I comply, meeting his gaze, unable to stop the drop of water from escaping the corner of my eye. He sees it, eyes tracking its path, and he brushes it away with his thumb.

"I'm sorry," he says. "I almost wish you'd been with someone else, just so you could enjoy our first time together."

I shake my head, a broken laugh leaving me. "No you don't."

He shakes his head with a soft smile. "I don't."

Pulling back the slightest bit only to push forward again, he begins a gentle pace and kisses me. It takes time, but the pain subsides enough that I start to gather the low pulse of desire. Acker's breath becomes heavier, his pleasure no longer his goal, rather striving to just get through it with as little casualty to me as possible. I both admire and hate it.

I raise my hips to meet his thrusts, and he falters.

"Jovie," he warns. "Easy."

Oh , I hate that more .

I yank him by the hair, pulling his mouth to mine in a punishing kiss. He growls, in annoyance or acceptance, I don't know. His thrusts become harder, deeper as I drown in his kiss. It's all-encompassing, all-consuming, and I moan with each punctuation of his hips.

He loses a grip on his restraint. A sound I've never heard before leaves his lips, something between a growl and moan as he stills inside me, pulsing. He thrusts once more before letting his weight cover me.

I'm not sure I've ever experienced true peace in my life until right now. Then, like two magnets meeting, the tether below my breasts snaps into place, an unbreakable bond stretching between us. Acker braces his weight to look at me, and if I'm not mistaken, there's a sheen of glassiness in his eyes.

I kiss him, knowing nothing lasts forever.