Chapter 43

My mind has been running in circles since Hallis knocked on my door this morning. The space beside me was empty. Acker left to retrieve the horses from the farrier before dawn, which I came to find out when I returned our room key to the old lady at the front desk where Hallis and Beau were waiting.

While better than the last time I saw her, Beau looks like what I assume the epitome of the color gray feels. I wonder if she can sense her own aura. If so, I wonder what it looks like considering the massive hangover she's dealing with. I ask her as much when we stop for lunch.

"Depends on how long I'm willing to stare at myself in a mirror," she says, eyes toward the small village in the distance.

We've been weaving in and out of the outcropping of towns neighboring the capitol. Unlike the one closest to the border, none of them have any type of surrounding barricade, but we've steered clear of them for reasons unspoken to me despite it slowing our progress.

"Frankly, I don't care that much."

She takes a swig of water, skin pale despite the afternoon sun hanging over us. I don't know what happened after I left her alone with Hallis. I hate that I had the best night of sleep I've gotten in many weeks while she was fighting unseen demons with her archnemesis consoling her.

"Your blaring guilt isn't helping," she says.

I grimace. "Should I not have left you?"

"Not that." She makes a sound with her teeth. "The other thing."

I inhale a deep breath, turning my attention away so I don't have to look her in the eye. I've been shoving the feeling of betrayal down as far as I can every time the emotion dares to make an appearance since I awoke this morning. I've let my nerves run free, hoping they overshadow any other emotions threatening to break through. It's concerning that Beau was still able to discern the sense of disloyalty plaguing me.

"I didn't stop loving Kai when I decided to leave Alaha," I tell her, hating the shame coating my tongue. "Even though I knew it was the right decision—the best decision—it still hurt."

"That's normal, having conflicting emotions about someone. It can take a long time to sort through the heartache, to separate what once was from what is meant to be."

I shake my head. "I don't know if he even knew what a true match is."

"Would it matter?"

I brave a look at her, noting the sympathy in her eyes. At the end of the day, regardless of why I left Kai in Alaha, he's simply not my match. Acker is.

"You can never get loving people wrong, Jo. There's no shame in accepting your feelings for Kai, just like there's none to be had for accepting them for Acker." She lifts her brows, expression lighter than it's been all day. "Don't tell Acker I said that. I like my head where it is on my shoulders. "

We're smiling when we walk back to the horses. Acker and Hallis both pause at the sight of our return.

"Everything okay?" Acker asks with a smile, eyes flitting to Beau and back to me.

I nod. If Hallis is suspicious of Beau's change in demeanor, he doesn't voice it, but his eyes never leave her as she brushes by him and mounts their mare.

The nerves return as we gather our stuff and continue our movement toward the capitol. I'm back to sharing a horse with Acker. It was an unspoken understanding between the two of us, which Beau and Hallis seemed to prefer for the first time since leaving the border.

When I awoke to an empty bed, the bond instantly protested at his absence. Like a strain under my ribs, the tether didn't lessen its stinging pull until Acker was within reaching distance. Then it only reduced itself to a dull tug.

Still, as my body is pressed firmly between his thighs, it doesn't feel close enough to satisfy the damned thing. Neither of us have broached the subject, but I'm dying to know if it feels the same on his end with the way he was able to end… whatever was happening between us last night.

I can't think about it too long, because the pulsing ache of desire comes flooding back with a vengeance. I can't stop the memory from progressing into a full-fledged daydream where Acker doesn't stop and we're the reason the wall behind our bed shook all night. Then comes the embarrassment when I recall the smug smile on his face and the shame that followed. I all but growl at my inner thoughts. I'm trying to give Beau a break, not add to her stress with my annoying emotions.

"What is it?" Acker asks, voice low enough so Hallis and Beau can't hear.

"I'm nervous," I tell him.

While that is somewhat honest, there's no way in hell I'd admit I've actually been reliving last night in my mind at nauseam.

"Anything I can do to relieve some of your stress?"

"No?" I say, confused by his offer.

"Are you sure?"

The inflection in his voice catches my attention. "What are you getting at?"

He dips his chin close, lips grazing my cheek and ear as we sway with the horse's trot, sending shivers down my spine when he speaks. "The bond is throbbing from your end of the tether." I all but gasp at the realization that he might be able to feel me through the bond. "What are you talking about?" I say with the driest tone I can muster despite blush coating my entire face and neck.

"You know what I'm talking about," he says, sending another wave of chills through me.

Then he does something I least expect. He drags his mouth to curve of my neck—the very spot he's been fixated on—and places an open-mouth kiss to the skin. This time I do gasp, head falling back against his shoulder to give him better access. I won't ever reveal this truth, but the fantasy I've been chasing all day doesn't compare to the real heat and feel of his tongue on my skin.

I release a breath that's somewhere between a sigh and a moan, and he places his palm against the flat of my stomach, pulling me against the hardness pressing into my lower back. He ends the kiss with a drag of his teeth over the sensitive area. I don't need to be able to feel the end of his bond to discern that the throbbing I feel is definitely coming from him.

All very much him.

"Feel better?"

I shake my head. "Not even a little."

He laughs and places a chaste kiss against my temple. The gesture leaves me feeling more exposed than the kiss of my neck did, and I sit up, needing some semblance of space between us.

We ride for hours without speaking. I surmise Acker's teasing did help. My mind mellows out, leaving a sense of expectation rather than nerves. Hallis and Beau are equally quiet, subdued as we pass more and more homes and farms littering the countryside.

The roadways become congested with fellow travelers, tradesmen and farmers moving livestock. Most of the people we encounter create a wide enough berth for us to pass, seemingly wary of strangers. It's not until we pass a family headed in the same direction as us that someone notices. The recognition on the father's face sends them all to their knees at his insistence. Acker places a hand on his chest in respect, but we pick up our pace not long after that.

The sun is touching the horizon after we circumvent one of the largest towns I've seen as of yet when a company of men on their horses are spotted at a distance. Acker holds up a hand to signal Hallis to stop behind us.

"Who is it?" I ask, noting the lack of flag with them.

Acker doesn't reply right away. Hallis halts his mare next to ours, eyes squinting in the distance.

"Can you get a read, Beau?"

She shakes her head. "They're too far away. "

Acker places the reins in my hands and dismounts. "Stay here."

"Take Beau with you," Hallis instructs, holding his horse still as she also dismounts.

"No," Acker says, retrieving his strap of knives and buckling it across his chest. "I'll give the signal when it's safe."

"I don't think—"

Beau cuts Hallis off with a hand on his thigh. "Let him handle this."

Something in Acker and Beau's demeanor stops him from arguing, and it worries me.

Acker looks up at me. "I'll be right back."

We watch him march across the distance with the wind whipping through his shirt and hair with every step. I know Acker can handle himself, but there look to be close to ten men on horseback, and it feels a little like a fool's errand.

"Is that…"

Hallis's voice trails off when the band of men separate, revealing a man with long, blonde hair in their midst. It's hard to make out, but it's obvious they're discussing something. Unease spreads through my chest as one of the men gets down from his horse. I tighten my hands on the reins, urging myself to be patient.

Not until they separate and Acker turns to look back do I get a better look at the man. He begins to move toward us, Acker following close behind, and I recognize the markings on the leather of his uniform: a golden butterfly surrounded by deep burgundy. The emblem of Maile.

I dismount as they get closer .

"Princess," the man says upon his arrival, sharp eyes keen on me before he folds into a bow then a kneel, blonde hair free and cascading around his handsome face.

"Please," I sputter, my nerves getting the best of me. "Stand."

He smiles as he rises. "As you wish." He does a decent job of keeping it in check to remain polite, but something tells me he finds me humorous.

"This is General Samasu." Acker introduces him, drawing my attention from the soldier. "He's a sentry from Maile. Your mother sent him to intercept us."

The general cocks his head, eyes the color of wheat never leaving mine. "I'm here to take you home," he says, leaving no room for interpretation.

Acker's chin dips toward his chest, a grin forming on his face before looking up at the general then me. "Does the princess not get a choice?"

General Samasu doesn't so much as blink when he says, "No."

Acker's grin turns into a full-fledged smirk in reaction to whatever expression is on my face. He makes a motion to let me know this is my problem to handle, stepping around the general and standing close enough behind me that I can feel his heat on my skin.

I look at Hallis, strong and steady on his horse, sword laying across his lap. Then at Beau, who has her metal rope lassoed around a closed fist. Both prepared, not a stitch of fear or uncertainty in their gazes.

"Whose likelihood of survival are you assessing?" the general asks, eyes inquisitive on me. "Ours or theirs?"

"I don't wish any lives to be lost today," I answer in turn .

"I will not lie to you, princess." He glances at the man behind me and then adjusts the strap holding the sword across his back. "Most of my men will die here if you do not come willingly."

"And yet you still are willing to challenge this?" I ask. "All the while knowing it may cost you your life?"

My question makes him smile. "Oh, no. I will not die," he says, placing a hand to his chest. "But my men will."

And to support his statement, he disappears. Just…vanishes from existence, leaving nothing in the place where he stood a moment ago.

Acker catches on the quickest, spinning in place to face the general where he stands behind us now. Both Hallis and Beau lose their crafted semblance of calm. Hallis slides from his horse while Beau unravels a link of her rope.

"As I was saying," General Samasu draws. "There's no need to worry about me, but I appreciate the concern."

I step around Acker's tense back, but he stops me from moving closer with a hand around my wrist. It's a warning not to get too close.

The general clocks it. "If you want a true pardon, you'll hand her over to her mother."

Acker's body is drawn taut. I sense the tension rolling off of him in the pressure of his hand around my wrist. "What makes you think I want a pardon?"

"Why else would you retrieve the princess?" the general asks, eyes locked on Acker.

"Well, aside from the promise I made to Queen Evelyn to find her daughter myself," Acker says, sliding his hand into the palm of mine and intertwining our fingers, "Jovie is my match."

General Samasu freezes in place, completely unmoving other than his golden hair dancing in the wind around him. "You're lying."

"He's not," I say, tightening my fingers that are interlaced with Acker's, letting him know which side of this I stand on. "We are matched."

He's not swayed, gaze narrowed between the two of us, assessing and calculating the likelihood that I'm not being manipulated somehow. "You better find a way to convince me," he says.

Acker and I look at each other. The only thing I can think of is the kiss we shared where our magic wanted to become one with the other, wanted to wield our gifts together like one weapon instead of two. It was the tiniest glimpse of what we could be together. If I had concentrated on the magic aspect over the taste of him, maybe I could have sensed the possibilities of our combined powers better. But other than attacking his mouth with mine, I don't actually know how to tap into it.

There's a smile in Acker's eyes as if he knows where my thoughts ventured to. "Give me your dagger."

Removing it from my side, I keep my questions to myself, not wanting to let on that I'm as naive as I am. I'm not prepared for Acker to bring our joined hands before us, and I'm especially not prepared for him to shove the blade into the space between our palms. I can't stop the flinch. It's mostly from shock, but I don't dare pull away despite the burn.

He looks up at me through his lashes, and I get the sense this is more for my benefit than that of anyone else present. "Jovinnia, Princess of Maile, is my match. With this oath, I swear to protect her until my dying breath. "

Blood escapes through the cracks of our fingers and drips down my wrist. There's a shine to his eyes that I've never seen before. It makes my heart pick up pace, my breaths deepening. I swallow past the tightness in my throat.

"And," he says, licking his lips before continuing, "I love her."

Hallis barks Acker's name, a clear yet panicked warning that Acker ignores as he turns our hands to the side, letting our mixed blood splatter to the ground.

I don't know the implications of what has just been done or why he did it, but I couldn't fight the desire to kiss him if I tried. And, if I'm being honest with myself, I don't. I eagerly meet his descending lips with my own, my mouth open in invitation. Acker has enough wherewithal to keep it short, though he still coats my tongue with the taste of his.

A cloth smacks Acker in the side of the face, Beau's aim perfect on her intended mark. "You fool." Her insult isn't in jest. True anger shines behind her eyes. "Stupid, stupid fool."

Hallis is even more upset. All he can manage is a slow shake of his head, disgust lining his face.

General Samasu, however, is damn near ecstatic. "A fool, yes, but possibly the bravest man I've ever met."

"I think you mean crazed," Hallis says.

Acker isn't fazed by their reverie. In no hurry, he takes the time to clean the rivulets of blood already drying along my digits, eyes flitting between his task and my eyes. It feels like an apology of sorts, an act of contrition. He rips the fabric with his teeth, tearing it in two and using the better shred to wrap around my bleeding palm .

He looks back at the general. "Are you convinced?" he asks, returning to business.

I, on the other hand, am a quivering mess on the inside. My stomach is in knots, head swimming. I squeeze the makeshift bandage and focus on the sting.

General Samasu shakes his head, still in a mild state of disbelief. "I suppose I am." Then he all-out laughs. "The queen is going to need proof."

I motion for Acker to hand over my dagger and give it to the general. "Tell my mother I will send word when I'm ready to come home. I'll call for the blade in three days' time. Will that be enough for your venture back?"

He stares at the black stone dagger before meeting my gaze. "Dang rabbits," he mutters.

My heart stops at his use of words.

Shaking his head, he throws a hand up in acquiescence. "Go ahead and make it two. Anything more than a day and she'll have my head."

He smiles then, and I recognize it, the affinity between him and Wren. The way his lips part, the crinkle around his nose, the shape of his teeth. I keep the revelation to myself but return the smile.

He winks at Acker. "Good luck, boy." Then he blinks from existence.

We turn toward the men in the distance, with whom General Samasu now stands. The small battalion begins to retreat, the horses picking up pace and heading west.

Acker pinches my chin, angling my face to his, and places his mouth on mine, letting the kiss linger before releasing me from his hold. It's simple but feels like everything.

It feels like the beginning of the end.