Chapter 49

Chapter Forty-Nine

FREYA

I hate this so damn much. I feel like a timid bunny that nobody knows what to do with. It fucking sucks because I know I still have my fire, but I'm so genuinely lost, I'm having a hard time finding that spark.

It's like what made me me before was my hatred of the academy. Everything I was revolved around whether or not to obey.

Now I'm left with so many damn choices all the time that I'm overwhelmed by the idea of choosing which room I want to sleep in. Everything was decided for me before, now I'm expected to decide.

It's our first night at the safe house.

Thankfully, we got here late so nobody is pressuring me to figure out what I want to eat. We were all given the same meal on the plane, which was also a blur.

It should make me feel better that Kate is right across the street in their own beautiful family home, but it isn't. At least not right now. I'm worried my healing process will be compared to hers.

I know nobody would intentionally do that, but what if she progresses back in the real world much faster than I do?

She has been through so much more. Kate's experience was far different during her years of captivity, but I feel like it was worse. Like I should be doing better than she is. And that is not the case.

"Freya?"

I startle. Ronan's soft voice and touch on my lower back seemingly come from nowhere yet he's been standing with me for the past few minutes while I contemplate how to answer his question.

The question: "Where do you want to sleep tonight?"

Why the hell are there options for this? I had my room at my aunt's, and I was assigned a dorm at the academy. Never has this been something I've dealt with.

Six bedrooms. One being the pack bedroom with a nest attached through a door by the big ass closet. We just toured all of them. The pack bedroom and nest stressed me out beyond comprehension.

Nesting is FORBIDDEN.

So here the five of us are in the upstairs hallway waiting for me to have an answer.

Twisting my hands in front of me nervously, I step away from Ronan's touch, the habit not having a chance to die yet. If an alpha or beta were seen touching an omega, the enforcers would shut that shit down.

My scent spiked as soon as the heat from Ronan's palm caressed my flesh, causing my heart to beat wildly in my chest even as my omega purred and leaned into the bond I share with him.

Perfuming is FORBIDDEN.

Scent must be hidden at ALL times.

Without the suppressants and the descenting soap, I've already lost control of my scent and reactions to these alphas. All of which feel embarrassing and terrifying all at once.

I'm waiting for them to jump at me to get a better whiff and taste of my perfume but they don't. Ronan shifts his body weight just a bit, making the other two alphas bare their throat subtly. I whimper, slick filling my panties just slightly at the sight of my alpha keeping his pack in line and protecting me.

"Alright, pack bedroom stays empty for now. Star, you will take this one," Ronan points to the room beside the pack room. "Lucas, you'll be in the one across from our omega. I'll be in the one beside her."

"We'll take the one beside Luke," Elliott picks up.

"Uh, how 'bout not?" Lucas suggests with a rude twist to his lips.

Elliott frowns, and I match the expression. Casey laughs, though, lightening the aura a bit in the small space we're all still standing around in.

"Luke," Ronan warns.

"What?" Lucas replies, dragging his hand through his messy, dark hair. "I don't want to hear them going at it all night."

Yup, more slick .

Lucas grins at me. "Maybe you should swap with the lovebirds, Ro. Our girl seems to like the idea of listening to their moans and groans."

I whimper and whip my pleading eyes to Ronan, hoping he understands what I'm asking.

"No," my pack alpha states. "I'm next to Freya, you're across from her. Elliott and Casey can choose the room beside you, dickwad, or beside me. Either way, we stay close."

I blow out a relieved breath, making everyone smile or laugh softly. Ronan turns to me, his sharp jaw unclenching as he studies my face. I wonder if I look as lost as I feel.

"Why don't you go brush your teeth, wash up however you want, put a loose T-shirt on and a pair of panties or shorts, whatever you're comfortable in and get some sleep in the bed?" Ronan suggests but words it like he's telling me what to do.

My shoulders relax and I swear I feel gratitude well up in my eyes, both of which I watch Ronan catalogue. I feel seen for the first time since he scented me outside of the cafeteria.

"Say good night, Star. I'll have breakfast ready in the morning and come get everyone," he adds.

A genuine smile tugs on my lips at his direction. "Good night," I say to the four of them, and grab my bag Lucas brought upstairs for me.

Tomorrow, I'll have to bring my bag of goodies Casey bought for me at the hospital. After they're washed, though. I don't want any hospital lingering on my new things.

An array of sweet words follows me as I cross the threshold into my new room and close the door. I hesitate on whether to lock it or not.

Like he could hear my thoughts, Lucas calls out, "Leave it unlocked so we can come get you in the morning."

For the first time since I basically yanked him to me through our bond, I grasp the tether that binds Lucas and me and send him what I think would feel like warm appreciation.

I tune out their rumbly conversation and follow the tasks Ronan asked me to do with my little pouch of toiletries. Pausing on the way to the bathroom though, I look back at the water bottle tucked into the pocket of my bag.

He didn't tell me to drink water, but I snatch the bottle with a burst of independence and joy, making me tingle with giddiness.

I hum to myself, mixing the suggestions from my alpha with pauses to drink water. I feel like I accomplished something for myself. One act that I chose.

Maybe one small decision at a time and I'll figure out who I am without chains weighing me down.