Chapter 24

Chapter Twenty-Four

RONAN

" W ait, try again."

"Luke…"

"No seriously! Just push a little harder."

My first thought is, what the fuck is my brother making Casey do?

"More! Yes, just like that, keep going!"

And the second is where the fuck is Eli?!

Casey grunts as I peel my eyes open from a shitty nap filled with nightmares.

"I'm done, man. Fuck, that's exhausting."

I force myself to sit up at Casey's huffed breathing. When Lucas and our beta finally register in my tired sight, I find Casey with his face in his palms and my brother looking eager as fuck in the cell next to him.

Clearing my throat, I question, "What the hell are you guys doing?" Flicking my gaze over to Elliott doesn't help anything either, as he just sits there, staring off into space.

"Oh good! You're awake, it's your turn!" my brother hollers excitedly. Far more excited than he should fucking be in my opinion because we're still stuck in a goddamn prison from hell.

"Thank fuck," Casey mutters, and shuffles back to the wall.

"Or..." Beckett grumbles from the other side of the basement. "You could shut the fuck up and stop sounding like you're having the worst sex ever."

My lips twitch, because it absolutely sounded like shitty porn, but Elliott growls low in warning. At least he's mildly aware of his surroundings.

Luke bares his teeth at the other alpha but dismisses him just as quickly. Scooting his ass closer to me, or as close as the bars will allow, my brother grins and sits crisscross.

"We were testing out our new pack bonds. Casey's is the faintest, probably because he needs Eli's bond mark, right?" Lucas queries.

I nod a little surprised he would take this initiative. "Yeah," I respond simply, feeling a bit shitty for not having all of us do this sooner.

My brother frowns. "Don't do that, Ro. You've had other stuff on your mind, and it's not like we were doing much. Just playing around and seeing what made Casey flare stronger in the bond."

"And?" I'm curious now too. It's not like I haven't felt my pack mates tugging at me in my chest; I've just been focused on trying to fix this shit.

It's different for me. My pack isn't just a feeling alongside my emotions; it literally feels like each of their tethers are pulling on our connection. Each of my pack brothers is filled with awful emotions and self-depreciating anguish, and as pack alpha, it's in my nature, it's my job, to fix their problems.

To make our pack a safe, healthy, happy place. Our bonds are anything but safe, happy and healthy. I mean, fuck , I can hardly feel Freya. Casey isn't fully bonded into the pack, and yet I feel his pull more than my mated omega. It's fucked. And so backwards.

"I don't know. He would just shine a bit brighter when I urged him to, but I can't quite feel what he felt. Case?" Lucas calls out to the beta.

Casey sighs but doesn't open his eyes where he's resting against the cement wall. "When Luke pressured me, I would just think of Freya. And Eli," he adds quietly, only opening his eyes to gaze at his broken alpha beside me.

I take in the big, dark alpha for a moment too, and allow my heart to be yanked painfully by his guilt. I swallow, gathering myself. Soon. I'll help him soon.

"So when you felt heavier emotions, Luke noticed you more in the bond?" I guess, already having learned this in school.

Casey nods and I hum, thinking about how I should go about explaining it to them.

"What?" Lucas snaps, looking antsy as fuck.

I narrow my eyes at him before asking Casey to do it again. The beta groans but does as I ask.

Almost immediately, I'm stifling a grunt of surprise at the pressure he just forced on my sternum. The absolute need to help my pack beta with his crippling anxiety for his mates is almost too much to bear.

Gritting my teeth, I squeeze my eyes shut while Casey fades to a dull throb in my chest.

"Ronan?" Lucas prods warily.

Blowing out a breath, I relax my jaw and blink. "I'm fine. It's just different for the pack alpha."

Taking a deep breath to recenter myself, I continue my explanation. "You all will be able to experience each other's emotions unless the bond is locked down from that person. As the pack alpha, your emotions and feelings are a beacon for our pack's welfare."

Lucas frowns. "What does that mean?"

"It means if something is wrong with one of you, the bond pulls me and begs me to fix the problem. As alpha, it's my job to ensure our safety and happiness. And right now..." I sigh, rubbing the spot between my pecs.

"And right now, we are all practically screaming and jerking you every which way," Casey mutters, eyes wide.

Again, I just nod, allowing silence to drag us away into our own thoughts. Mine stay on my pack brothers, though. Casey is just a dull ache in our bond, but the lingering effects of his awful anxiety will stick with me for a while.

Lucas and Elliott are more prominent, but I think Eli is trying to master the skill of blocking us out. His never-ending pit of guilt is muted, almost like it's muddled by a cloud of grey. Or maybe that's just how he feels. I don't know. I don't have actual experience with this. Everything I know is from textbooks and lectures.

My brother, on the other hand, feels kind of like a firecracker buzzing away and demanding my attention. He's a pit of fidgety nervousness, and anxiety of the unknown, similar to Casey. But the difference between them is Lucas is wired with the need to do something. To help in some way. His alpha is riding him hard. Basically, fucking jumping out of his skin to get us out of here.

It's an odd moment to feel proud of my baby brother, but I do. It seems he's leaning into his instincts, and while I do feel a bit of confusion and trepidation from him, Luke's not shying away from his manic urge to bust the cell doors down.

Lucas will be fine, Casey just needs everyone to be okay, but Elliott? He's the one I'm worried about the most. I can guess what happened with Freya to make him feel so terrible, and I hate myself just a little more for not talking to him before they dragged him out of here.

"Ronan," Lucas murmurs, drawing my attention. He gives me a sad smile, making me wonder when the hell he grew up. "None of this is your fault. It's on all of us, even if you're our pack alpha. You don't control us, our decisions, actions and especially not our feelings, okay?"

I stare at him for a long while, contemplating his words. I may know more about bonds than they do, but I think I have a lot to learn about what it means to be in a pack, especially the lead alpha.

Who am I supposed to be for them?

"Just be you, big bro. We all look up to you, so honestly, you can probably do no wrong," Lucas adds with a wink and a smirk.

"Cheeky shit," I grumble, but he makes me smile.

Now the question is, how can just being me get us out of here?