Chapter 4

Gage

I wanted to lock the front door. The need to grab my keys and shove it into the deadlock, making it impossible for anyone to come in or out, rode me hard.

Because she was here.

Kendall came wandering up the front path, walking into my house, my life, after all this time. We lived in the same big city, and I’d seen neither hide nor hair of her. She kept her social media profiles locked down tight. I knew that because I’d checked. Every time we went around to Finn’s for a family dinner or whatever, my heart clenched tight in my chest, my eyes searching the kitchen, the lounge room, until it sank when I realised she wasn’t there.

Kendall was never there, but she was here right now.

I walked over to the fridge and yanked the door open, staring into the interior but not really seeing it. The cool air felt like it played over my overheated face, trying to gift me some chill, but I had none, as soon became clear.

“Ah… big guy?”

“What?” I snapped, turning on Van, who was just standing there like a dick.

“The milk? Kendall might like it black now, but Connor cracks the shits if he doesn’t end up with something that resembles an iced coffee.”

“Shut up and make the coffee,” Connor said, reaching over me to grab the carton and then prising the door out of my grip and shutting it. I just stared at the Kelvinator brand logo on the door before forcing myself to turn around.

I thought I was making shit up in my head. Every time I saw Kendall when we were kids it felt like a punch to the balls, but that was just puppy love, right? So how did that explain this? That same damn near nauseating ache, only eased a little by the sense of satisfaction that came from her sliding her gorgeous arse onto one of my stools. The fact she looked like she fucking belonged here.

Lock the door, that persistent little voice said in the back of my head. Do not let Kendall leave.

But that’s not how shit worked, not unless you were fucking crazy, so I just took a seat at the end of the kitchen bench and tried to force myself to stop staring at Kendall.

“So, Gage…” What was this chick’s name again? I barely looked in the friend’s direction. Barbie… That’s right, like the doll. She smiled up at me, but like when most women did that, it didn’t provoke a response in me. “You knew Kendall when she was still at school?”

“I was in the year above her,” I replied for the sake of politeness, because I didn’t really want to go wandering down memory lane. There was nothing good to be found there. Kendall was right to be pissed, because we were little dickheads back in the day.

And then we turned into even bigger ones.

When Kendall started turning into a woman, we’d all noticed and Finn had noticed us noticing. He’d made clear we were never, ever to go near his sister, and so I’d done my damndest to hide what was going on inside me. Rather than suck in my breath each time she passed, just to get a lungful of her perfume, I’d sneered. I excused my persistent stare with sarcastic jokes at her expense, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself from pranking her. Because each time we hatched a plan and pulled it off, we knew what the end result would be.

She’d find out, then launch herself at us and that’s when the magic happened. Her eyes would flash and she’d get these little red spots in her cheeks, her mouth moving a mile a minute as she gave us a serve. And I’d fucking love it, going brick hard in seconds, something that only eased when she took off in disgust.

Which just made me want to piss her off more.

But I was done with that kind of shit. I didn’t need to aggravate a girl to get her attention. They noticed me plenty all on their own, but that wasn’t going to do me any good right now. Kendall caught me staring, her eyes meeting mine with a wariness that made my heart hurt, but her brows jerked down as soon as she realised what I was doing.

“I was a total dick to Kendall,” I told Barbie, though my focus stayed on my girl. “All of us were. We annoyed the hell out of her and when she stopped responding, we took things too far.” Kendall’s frown deepened, forcing me to wrench my eyes away and back to her friend. “We were young, dumb and full of…” My lips twitched. “You know. Kendall’s dad should’ve knocked some sense into us when it all started, but he just thought it was funny.” My jaw muscle spasmed, threatening to lock it tight. “It wasn’t. Gotta admit, there’s not much I regret, but I do regret treating her like that.”

Barbie nodded slowly, looking me over in the way women do, trying to work out if you’re telling the truth or are full of shit. I just submitted to her inspection without a word, waiting for her judgement.

“But you want to make amends,” she said, and I nodded. “Hmm… maybe there’s a way you could do just that.”

I watched Van slide a coffee across the counter towards Kendall, feeling an irrational need to shove him out the way and be the one to give it to her. I wanted her hands around the cup of coffee that I made her and then while her palms were still warm, I wanted… I swallowed hard, my throat feeling bone dry. Instead of doing just that, I grabbed two bottles of water from the fridge, offering Barbie the other one. I focussed on cracking the seal then drinking the water down.

“Yeah?” I kept my tone as light as possible, but by the way Barbie’s eyes danced, she saw through my attempt to mask what I was feeling. “And what would that be?”

“Kendall needs a place to live,” Barbie explained. “The place we saw before we came here?”

“Barbie…” Kendall hissed, her focus jerking our way.

“It was a shed masquerading as a granny flat,” the friend continued.

“They don’t need to know—” Kendall said, her butt starting to rise up off the stool.

Sit down, my brain thought furiously, the crack of the plastic water bottle alerting me to the tension building in my body.

“No lining, no insulation,” Barbie continued. “Not even a proper bathroom. Just a portaloo shoved in the corner.”

“No.”

Where the hell had that growl come from? Shit, it was me. Water spilled all over my hands as I squeezed the bottle way too tight, then forced to set it down on the counter.

“It’s fine,” Kendall said with a familiar shake of her head, because I knew all her tells. When she was masking how she really felt, dismissing it with a nod and a smile. “I wasn’t going to pay four hundred a week for that.”

“Four hundred…” Van stepped closer, peering into her eyes as if to see if she was lying, but Kendall just flushed red in response.

“Things are insane right now.” Kendall’s voice was tight, her words defensive. “I’m not sure if you’re aware, but there’s a rental crisis going on right now. There’s just not enough places to rent and—”

“We’ve got a room.” Van spoke the words I wanted to say before my mouth could move. “I mean, you know that. That’s why you’re here.” He scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. “So, if you’re struggling to find a place, and we need a housemate—”

I felt like a vise was tightening around my heart and it wouldn’t let go, not until Kendall said yes.

“Nope.” There it was. That scalding hot pain that rushed through my every extremity, feeling like parts of my body were shutting down, one by one. Kendall sat up straighter, eyeing the lot of us, that same fire that used to blaze in her eyes relit. “No way.” She shook her head sharply, and with that, all hope inside me died. “Not you guys.” If I ever needed a clear indication of the damage we’d done, here it was. “I’d have to be mad, moving in with the three guys that made it their life’s mission to torment me.”

But we wouldn’t now, I wanted to tell her. Never again. The stupid kid I was had died a hard death the minute she walked away, but the man? He’d do anything to stop her from having to look at people’s sheds and consider whether or not she should pay to live there. He’d do absolutely anything to make sure she was safe and…

Happy.

I just wanted Kendall to be happy.

“We screwed up,” I said, my voice sounding hoarse. Everyone stared at me, which had me clearing my throat abruptly. “We were idiots and we should never have treated you the way we did. I could try to pass it off and say it was because we were young, but…”

Not that, my brain said, throwing up stop signs while my heart beat faster, wanting to make even grander declarations.

“But that’s no excuse. We need to make amends for what we did to you, so, how about we start by giving you somewhere to live?”