19. Jace

NINETEEN

JACE

I reacted completely out of character for me. I'm calm and collected at all times, except when it's time to fight fires. And even then, I react quickly but I'm never out of control.

Yesterday morning? I was out of control. My thoughts were jumbled and nothing made sense. When Poppy emerged from the bathroom, I ignored her as she walked past me in the living room and out the door. A moment later I heard a truck pulling into my driveway, one car door closed and then it peeled from my yard. I knew it had to be Maddox. I got up and looked out the window only to see tire marks had torn up my front yard.

At least he didn't set it on fire. I would have deserved it, though.

And if he gives me a black eye today? I'll deserve that, too.

I'm down at the fire station, on for the next forty-eight hours and when Maddox walks in with fire in his eyes and tells me to follow him, I do. I know what's coming.

He takes me into the back office, shuts the door and spins on me pointing a finger at me. "What the fuck is wrong with you, man?"

"Why does no one think this is a big deal? We're firemen. Aren't we supposed to save people?"

"Listen, I would have burned his house down, too! Fucker deserved it."

"You only want to defend your fiancée." When I barely get that last word out before he's charging me, I throw my hands up and say, "Which I understand! But no one deserves that. Someone could have been seriously hurt, or worse."

"I don't see the big deal. Poppy is as loyal as they come. And she proved it." He shrugs, throwing himself down in the chair while I collapse on the couch.

"No, she got caught. There's a difference." I'm still acting like a petulant child.

"She turned herself in. It's why they just gave her probation. I know the whole story, Sully. She has tremendous guilt about it getting out of control and half the town loved her for it and the other half chastised her. It's why she left. Don't chase her away from another town."

I sit quietly with all the information. My need for law and order is battling with my need for love and loyalty right now. After Poppy left my home, I sat on my couch staring at the Christmas tree that we made love in front of, playing every scenario in my head.

What do I care if people know?

She was defending her family.

It is kind of funny that she ended up with a fireman.

"Kid, you've got a lot to learn. I respect you and your need to follow the book. But life doesn't always work that way. Poppy is very upset and honestly? I think you're overreacting." I flip my eyes to him and he leans forward in the chair. "Take it from me, don't let days go by before you talk to her. I almost lost Marigold because I was being stubborn. I understand how you feel and as firemen, we think differently. We think logically and step-by-step because it's how we're taught. Women do not. They think quickly and with emotion which most of the time works out well."

I sit quietly trying to gather my thoughts. I really don't know how to process this so I tap into how I'm feeling about her and about the situation. "I believe her when she says she didn't intend to burn his house down. I think she wanted to scare him." I scrub my face with my hand. "Fuck! She scares me half to death because I never knew I could feel the way I do about her and in such a short amount of time."

Maddox stands and walks closer to me, putting his hand on my forehead and pushing. I slap at his hand and he slaps my cheek. It's playful but I know he's trying to get my attention.

"It's been six months. I don't know why you think this is something new or why you shouldn't follow through. She arrived in town and you took notice from day one, don't think I didn't see it. This was not an overnight thing and you guys have grown to know each other through the silly banter and comments."

He's right but I refuse to look at him. I don't want to admit this cocky fireman may know a thing or two about me, but when he gets quiet, I look up.

"Don't be afraid. As firemen, we have to be ready for anything. We never know what we'll encounter and any given day a two alarm fire can turn into a five alarm fire at the drop of a hat. It's the same with love. You never know when it's going to find you and burn you to the ground. Let her , Sully. Let her burn you, it will be the best decision you ever made."

My heart beats fast because he's right. What if I just ruined the best thing that ever happened to me? "What do I do now?"

"Now you go get your girl."