Chapter 29

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Pierce

E ver since Brynn and I got together, time just flies by. It’s Christmas Eve, and we spent the day on the slopes after she convinced me to rent a snowboard. Is there anything I wouldn’t do for her? But it ended up being fun. Tre, Tessa, Kenzie, and Andrew all met us there. We spent a good part of the day on the mountain and thankfully didn’t run into Kacey when we grabbed lunch. Then we came back for a nap. No surprise, Brynn and I didn’t take a nap.

Now it’s time to head over to the main house to have dinner with everyone.

Gwen and Abe are already in the kitchen when we arrive, so I go over to help them.

“What can I do?” I ask.

“Nothing, go enjoy your holiday. You’ve helped enough this week.” Gwen nudges me to leave, but it doesn’t seem right to allow them to do all the cooking on their own.

I laugh and am ready to turn around when I spot something on the mantel.

All week, the stockings have hung above the fireplace, and I haven’t really thought much of them. They’re clearly all handmade. Each one has a Santa or a snowman or a reindeer with each person’s name stitched across it.

Now there’s a new one right next to Brynn’s.

A hand lands on my forearm. “I didn’t know if I’d have it done on time. But I finished it this morning.” Gwen smiles.

“But… I’m not…” The words refuse to come out.

“Oh, Pierce, I knew it the minute you admitted to knowing Brynn before you arrived here. The way she looked at you, a mother knows. And even if you two don’t work out, for some reason that is beyond me, you’re one of us now. But if Faith asks, say that Brynn made it for you. I don’t want her to feel bad, but you know…”

She squeezes my arm and walks away before I can say thank you.

Brynn walks up to me, trailing her fingers down my chest like I love. “Why are you so white?”

“Your mum made me a stocking.” I’m still staring at my name stitched across the top, hung with everyone else’s, as if I’m a part of the family. My gut twists, and my chest tightens.

“I know.” Brynn smiles wide. “She was so happy she was able to finish it in time and thankful when she bought the kit for Kenzie’s family that it came with four.” Brynn turns around and admires the stocking. “We look good next to one another.”

I can’t speak. The words aren’t coming out. I stand there silently, like an idiot, for a moment before I’m able to finally push some words past my lips. “Excuse me.”

I kiss the top of Brynn’s head and walk out the back door by the fire pit. I stand by the fire, watching the orange flames and feeling the warmth, my heart still beating out of my chest no matter what I try to do to calm it down.

The door opens behind me, and I expect it to be Andrew, but when arms wrap around my waist, I know it’s Brynn.

“Are you okay?”

I place my hand over hers where it rests on my stomach. “I will be. Just give me a minute.”

“Okay.” She walks around me and sits in one of the chairs, crossing her legs and staring into the fire.

“You can go inside,” I say, unable to look her in the eye. “It’s cold out here.”

“I know I can, but I won’t.”

“Brynn…”

She sits up and rests her elbows on her knees. “I get that something is going on, but I’m not leaving this chair. Take all the time you need, but I’m not going inside without you. If you want to talk it out, I’m here. If you don’t want to talk, consider me your silent support committee.”

I inhale a deep breath and blow out an even bigger one. “I’m really fighting the instinct to withdraw and leave.” I walk around the fire and take the chair next to her. “It’s scary to me. I’ve never felt a part of a family like this, and throughout the week, I’ve grown really close with yours. To see a symbol of family and be included in it… and for your mum to work on it all week… it brings up a lot of stuff for me. It means I’m cared for, but also that I care for them. And it’s hard for me to untangle family from heartbreak. I know what it feels like to lose people you feel like that about, and I don’t want to go through it again.”

Tears glisten in Brynn’s eyes. “I understand.”

I take her hands, warming them with mine. “Don’t get me wrong, it’s the nicest thing anyone’s done for me, and I appreciate it. I just needed to pull myself together and remind myself not to run. Not to pull back, but to embrace it.”

She stands and sits on my lap, hugging me. “Can I have that therapist’s number?”

I chuckle and draw back. “If not for the work he told me to do, I never would have been able to go back inside and welcome the unconditional love your family gives.”

“We can sit out here all night,” she says, relaxing into my chest.

I lean back, hugging her into my body and enjoying the peace I feel with her that finally calms my beating heart.

Before long, Tre and Tessa come out with Ryah. And then Andrew and Kenzie with Nolan. The party migrates outside before I ever have to go back in, and it feels better than I would have thought to have people have my back. People who want to be around me. People I can rely on, and they can rely on me. It feels like being a part of a family again, and I realize that I wouldn’t trade it for anything, no matter how hard it is to accept.