Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Holiday

“I’m not going to grow them out,” I said when my mom wouldn’t stop pestering me about my bangs. I’d cut them a few years ago after a bad date and she’d disliked them ever since.

“But they cover up your gorgeous eyes,” Mom said. I rolled said eyes. My bangs did not do that, and I had no idea when Mom had joined an anti-bang society, but enough was enough.

“Leave my hair alone! Jesus,” I said.

Mom huffed but dropped the subject.

“I think your hair is gorgeous,” Aunt Cindy said as she came into the living room with a tray of hot chocolate for us. Uncle Gary and my dad were salting the driveway outside. It was supposed to snow tonight, so we might actually have a white Christmas. I’d be thrilled if we did. There was nothing more festive than the yard blanketed in white as we celebrated inside by the fireplace.

“Thank you, Aunt Cindy,” I said, chucking a bunch of marshmallows on top of my hot chocolate.

Soft piano music filtered through the house from several speakers and Mom had outdone herself with the decorations this year. They weren’t as fun or silly as what I’d find at Danny’s house, but my mom’s decorations were always spectacular. She’d done red and gold for the theme this year and there wasn’t a pine needle out of place. Nearly every room had a tree in it, all with matching ornaments and lights. My mom decorated as if she was competing, and every year she outdid herself. I always took a ton of pictures and had them printed out so she could save them in an album. It was the least I could do to record all her efforts.

Mom and her siblings had grown up poor, so I think it was her way to give herself the kind of Christmas she hadn’t had growing up. When popcorn and folded paper stars were as elaborate as things got.

“When are you going to Danny’s?” Mom asked as we sipped our hot chocolate. This was definitely worth coming home for. Mom made it in the crockpot and I didn’t even know what was in it. Deliciousness.

“I’m going over for dinner,” I said. Danny’s family did a potluck, so there would be no shortage of really good food.

Mom huffed again but didn’t comment further. She really wanted me here for the whole time, but this year I’d at least have a good reason. We were telling her family tonight and telling mine tomorrow. They were going to be pissed that they’d be the second to know, but they’d have to deal. A few years ago I had suggested that we combine our family Christmases and that hadn’t gone over well. It wasn’t that my mom and Danny’s mom didn’t get along. They did, and they had a nice friendship. But they were each militant about how their celebrations would go and they weren’t giving an inch. New Years was another thing entirely, and things got much more flexible. But Christmas was the big one.

I did my best to help Mom with organizing the house, making lunch, and generally keeping things running smoothly. Dad was on grocery run duty, and he was busy as Mom kept thinking of more things we needed. Mom had four siblings who lived nearby, Dad had three, and there were too many cousins to count. Soon our house would be overrun and there wouldn’t be enough food or toilet paper or wine. The garage fridge was packed with extra food and booze, but it wouldn’t be enough, even with everyone bringing their own contributions. It was mayhem, every year.

Sometimes I wondered why my parents had only had one kid when they both had siblings, but it seemed like too personal a question so I’d never asked. Did I really want to know? Not really.

Messages from Danny were nearly constant. She also sent me pictures and videos and it was almost like she was here with me.

You look great, babe I sent when she showed me the Christmas sweater her mom had forced on her. It was tacky in the extreme, which I loved. I would have worn it in a heartbeat.

Babe? I thought we were only doing that when other people were around? She responded.

I was practicing. Seems like a good idea to try it out ahead of time so it comes out sounding natural I responded.

Oh. I guess that makes sense. Babe. I couldn’t help but giggle at that simple four-letter word. It was so cute, and I was starting to like it. I could have been calling Danny babe this whole time. Maybe I should have been.

“Talking to Danny?” my cousin Jessie asked, a smirk on her face.

I rolled my eyes. “Yes.”

She snorted. “Are you ever going to admit you’re in love with her or no?”

It was already starting, and I wished I could just tell them that hey, we’re dating, but Danny and I were telling her family first. We wanted to be together when we shared the news so we could cover for each other. Seemed like the right way to do it.

But now I was wishing I’d just sent a message to the family group chat and then turned my phone on silent. That would have been dramatic, but it would have gotten it over with.

Now I had to field comments until then. I was already tired. So tired.

I put on a nice sweater and jeans, yelling at anyone who was around that I was going over to Danny’s and I’d be back later.

Snow fell softly to the ground as I started up my car and turned on the wipers to clear the powder. It took some maneuvering to get my car around all of the other vehicles, but I was happy when I made it to Danny’s. Her mom must have talked her dad into another inflatable. He’d been resisting for years. Go Linda.

I didn’t bother knocking and walked into a wall of warm air filled with the scent of cookies. Linda was a machine when it came to cookies and she always made hundreds. My contribution was always pitiful compared to what she cranked out in two days.

I always joked I was going to call her Betty Crocker or submit her to one of those baking shows as a potential contestant. She could bake anyone under the table with a smile on her face.

Danny was the first person I saw as I knocked a little bit of powder off my boots and left them by the door.

“Tell me that’s eggnog with rum in it,” I asked when she held a cup out to me.

She smiled and I felt every single ounce of stress immediately leave my body. “It is.”

“Bless you. Babe,” I said, whispering the last word.

I didn’t know if it was my imagination, but her eyes sparked at the last word. Maybe it was just the reflection of the lights above the doorway.

I gulped some of the eggnog and almost moaned. It was so good. Just the right amount of spiced rum. I wouldn’t be able to drink as much as I wanted, because I had to drive home, but it would have been nice to get blasted on eggnog and then pass out in Danny’s room with her. That had happened a time or two before, but I didn’t think it was a good idea tonight with us announcing our relationship. Had make a good impression on my fake girlfriend’s real family.

Danny and I didn’t have much time to ourselves as I plunged into the house and greeted everyone, hugging her parents and siblings and anyone else that I knew.

Everyone was obsessed with little Nicholas, and I had to admit that he was a pretty perfect baby. This year he was a lot more aware and actually talking. He thought things like tissue boxes were hilarious and his laugh was completely infectious.

“Someone is getting spoiled by Santa,” I leaned in and said to Danny as we sat on one of the couches together. Due to a lack of space, we were practically in each other’s laps, but I wasn’t complaining. We’d done this before and for some reason it felt different this year. Was it because of the whole fake relationship thing?

There were about fifteen different conversations going on at once, including a heated debate about daycare options for Nicholas.

Danny turned to me. “Now?”

“Oh, now? I mean, sure.”

Danny stood up and tried to ask for everyone’s attention. It took a few tries and finally her brother Michael whistled to get everyone to shut up.

She looked down at me and gestured with her eyes for me to stand up. Oh, right. We should have practiced this, shouldn’t we? Oops.

“Holiday and I have an announcement,” she said, and my back instantly started sweating, making my undershirt stick to my skin. I’d thought this would be a fun thing to do, like being an actor in a play, but now I was on stage and the lights were just a little too bright and the audience paying just a bit too much attention.

Yikes.

“We’re dating,” I said when Danny froze. I knew her well enough to see her starting to panic, so I grabbed her hand and squeezed it to get her attention.

For a second, no one spoke. Then it was like we were hit with a roar of sound and applause and “I knew it!” and even her dad handing over some money to her brother.

“You bet on us?” Danny asked. She still held my hand in an iron grip. I didn’t think I could have let her go if I tried.

Her dad just shrugged.

“Oh, my girls,” Carol said, her eyes brimming with tears as she hugged both of us.

Raquel hummed The Wedding March music loudly.

“Hold your horses,” I said, pointing at her. “This is new and we don’t want everyone to make a big thing of it.”

“Good luck with that,” Michael yelled. I glared at him and he hid behind his husband.

“This calls for a toast,” Carol said, still wiping her eyes. “To love. Both longtime love and new love. May we all experience as much of it as we can. Cheers!”

Everyone lifted their glasses, and I did the same, staring at Danny.

“To love,” I said quietly so only she could hear.

“To love,” she echoed as we sipped our eggnog.

“I’m cutting you off,” Danny said a while later when I was trying to sneak another cup of eggnog. She’d been attached to me all night, even more so than normal. I knew it was because of the fake relationship, but it was also to make sure I didn’t get wasted. Which I was very close to being, but I was past the point of caring.

“But I can just pass out here,” I whined. “We did that two years ago and it was fine.”

Danny’s eyes narrowed. “It was fine? Do you not remember punching me in the face?” She pulled her phone up, scrolled through her pictures, and then presented me with the image of her with a bruise under her eye that I’d accidentally caused when I’d rolled over in my sleep.

“I apologized for that a million times. I was asleep!”

“You two are so cute,” Raquel said, coming over to get some more food. “I can’t believe it took you so long to figure it out.” That was the prevailing sentiment about us. That inevitability.

Danny wanted to argue with Raquel like she usually did, but I nudged her and reminded her that we were doing things differently this year.

“Well, we did,” Danny said, her chin jutting out defiantly.

“We did, didn’t we, babe?” I asked, putting my arm around her and doing my best to give her an adoring look. It was easier now that I had a few drinks in me.

“Ugh, stop it,” Raquel said, shaking her head. “You’re too cute!”

She filled up her plate and left us alone. More of the adults had had a few by this point and the volume had gone up in the room and the random singing had gotten more frequent. Danny’s parents had a small mostly in-tune piano that people kept sitting at and playing carols. Everyone would join in and sing, regardless of knowing the lyrics. It was so much fun, but after a whole night of it, I knew Danny had had enough and needed to go recharge.

“Let’s go take a break in your room,” I said in her ear.

Danny was only a few inches taller than me, so I didn’t have to go too far to whisper to her.

She looked down at me and nodded. “Okay.”

Taking her hand, I pulled her through the crowd, ignoring some of the cheering and comments. Some of the comments bordered on lewd and I definitely didn’t pay attention to those.

Once we’d made it to Danny’s former room, I shut the door. She went over to sit on the bed, rolling her shoulders and closing her eyes.

“You okay?” A check-in with her seemed necessary. We were trying to figure out this fake relationship thing as we went.

Her eyes opened and she gave me a tired smile. “Yeah. It’s just a lot this year. For some reason.”

I sat next to her on the bed and it was like going back in time. Her room hadn’t changed much in all the years she’d lived in it. Even now, there were framed pictures on the dresser of us, grinning. Old posters on the wall. Piles of her favorite books. A closet full of her old awards and trophies and certificates. At least the ones that her parents didn’t display in the rest of the house. Part of the living room was taken up by a shrine to the three Romano siblings. Danny hated it, but I thought it was sweet. My parents had a less embarrassing shrine for me too. You couldn’t fight proud parents.

“It’s going well, I think,” I said, sinking onto the bed next to her. It still smelled the same. Danny loved peach scents and had her whole life since she’d worn too much peach body spray in junior high. Whenever I smelled anything remotely peach-like, it made me think of her. A few times I’d even had to make myself a peach cobbler or pie because I’d been craving peaches.

“Yeah,” she said, huffing out a breath and looking out the window, which was lit up by the numerous blinking lights outside. I could just see the corner of one of the inflatables in a crack between the curtains. Those things were hilarious.

“Are you sure you’re good? We can go out there right now and tell them it was a joke. They’d believe us.” Danny’s family and mine were lovers of (harmless) pranks. Her mom might yell at us for getting her hopes up, but she’d get over it.

She shook her head and looked back at me. “No, it’s fine. We can keep going.”

“We didn’t kiss in front of them. I’m surprised they didn’t make us.” That was definitely something they’d do.

Danny let out a long breath before looking down at her lap.

“Maybe we should…get the first one over with. So we’re not doing it with so many eyes on us. So we can make it convincing.”

Oh. That was unexpected. I’d thought that I’d have to convince and cajole her into kissing. It was going to have to happen before we went to my parent’s house because there was mistletoe right above the arch in the living room and she was going to make us pose under it for a picture once she found out about us.

“I mean, yeah, sure,” I said, trying to hide my trembling hands. Actually, my whole body was trembling. Why was I shaking so bad? This was Danny. My best friend. She’d seen me on my literal worst days. She knew all the most embarrassing corners of my soul. She had the dirt that was under the dirt. The microscopic organisms that were under the dirt that was under the dirt.

If there was anyone in my entire life that I was most comfortable with, it was Danny. This shouldn’t be a big deal.

Why was this a big deal?

“Just a quick one,” Danny said when I hadn’t responded.

“Yeah, sure.” Why did my voice sound so far away?

“Do you want me to do it?” she asked, narrowing her eyes as we sat on her yellow flowered comforter that wasn’t her style, but her mom had gotten it for her anyway.

“Okay,” I said. I couldn’t move if I tried. My body was seized by some kind of deep panic that I couldn’t understand as Danny leaned forward and tilted her head slightly so she didn’t bump my nose.

“Here I go,” she whispered when she was inches away from my mouth. Her breath brushed across my skin while my heart thumped in my chest, loud as thunder.

This was happening. Danny was going to kiss me.

And then she did.