7

I was a dog on a leash.

The invisible chain, conjured from my own imagination, tugged me along as I followed after Zak. Either my subcon scious took our binding contract too literally or something else.

I’d signed my life away for two years. Not too awful. Although, I wondered how long jail time would have been in comparison. At least I wasn’t sharing a cell with a roommate who wanted to eat me.

Jarmiel hadn’t waited for us so Zak and I were alone again. I didn’t know how to feel about his friendliness. He kept the small talk going while we descended the building again, like my life hadn’t dramatically changed. The elevators opened at the bottom where a mini-mall happened to be.

More people in peacekeeper gear waved as they walked by. Immediately, my chest constricted, feeling the attention growing around us. Everyone knew Zak and he, being so polite, intro duced me as well. So different than when my aunt and I were in public.

Zak entered the first store to the right. Shelves neatly stacked with goods fanned out in the semi-circle-shaped room. “Grab whatever you need. Clothes, snacks, whatever you want in your room.”

My room . I felt my make-believe leash loosen as I wandered through the aisles. What do I even get? Food sounded good. Really good. When was the last time I ate?

I picked out some bathroom essentials like soap, toothbrushes, deodorant, and a towel; stuff that I hadn’t been able to take from home. My clothes were still there as well, so I picked a few outfits to at least get me a couple of days’ use.

From the weight of my haul, I worried about the expense but when I checked the tag on some stretchy pants, my jaw dropped. So cheap! Cheap compared to how much I’d seen similar ones go for online.

I grabbed three more in different colors before finding the food. The junk was conveniently stationed next to the aisle with synthetic blood for vampires. The dark, ruby contents of the glass bottles reminded me of barbeque sauce and I gagged a little.

When I returned to the register, Zak eyed my armful of chocolates and clothes and laughed. “I think we should grab some dinner.”

“Sounds good.” My voice had a scratch to it. The day went by so fast without food or drink. I popped open one of my water bottles before I even checked out. “I can pay for this, Zak.”

He already slid a card to the woman at the checkout. “Allow me. You can come back once we set you up with a card.”

I blushed, feeling like an idiot. No shit, I didn’t even have my wallet on me. “I can put the pretzels back… What do you mean, set me up with a card?”

“Keep the pretzels! The cafeteria is great but so is having your own stash. We’ll get you a new license and a currency card. Works like any old card.”

“I’m getting paid?” I asked, feeling like a child with a million questions, “I thought this was, like, punishment.”

“Are we not having fun?” Zak clutched his chest, letting out a dramatic wheeze. “I’m kidding, sort of. Peacekeepers get paid per job, along with a monthly stipend. The stipend is enough to get you by, so don’t go nuts with it.”

“That’s really cool, actually,” I said, “Um. Thanks for the clothes. And pretzels.”

“Anytime.”

Were the angels using tax dollars to pay EXO’s members? The war couldn’t destroy everything and as godly as angels were, they couldn’t create gold, nor come up with another incentive for the humans to cooperate.

I glanced down at my selection of gym clothes. “Do I need to buy a uniform?”

“We’ll provide that later,” he said, “All you need to worry about right now is getting in shape for the exams.”

Our next location took us up one flight of stairs. An assortment of smells, baked bread and the cozy bitterness of coffee, hit my deprived stomach, making it growl in protest. “This is the cafeteria,” Zak said, “You can come here between six AM and nine PM. They have pizza today, excellent.”

Three of the four stations offered human-friendly menus and the last, a beverage station where the coffee smell was coming from. The closer we got, I picked up on another, more metallic scent. Jars lined on the shelves, disguised with decorative calligraphy, containing synthetic blood; a vampire bar. They also offered coffee, tea, and smoothies.

Zak offered to buy my pizza too. I didn’t want to loot him for all he had but he kept insisting and my stomach kept grumbling. “Once you have money, you can buy me dinner,” he said, “How’s that?”

Watching him put away pizza was an event. He bought three slices for himself and inhaled them in three bites each, somehow keeping grease from his lips and the vulnerable, white shirt he wore. Did he have to be perfect at everything ?

He pinched his fingers together and sprinkled the crumbs onto his plate. “I know we just got here but what do you think?”

“This is really nice compared to jail,” I said.

To be honest, I felt like I was being tricked.

He winked. “I think so too.”

“You must get a lot of funding?”

“We didn’t use to. Heaven’s law states that we shouldn’t seek income of any kind but Terra is different from Heaven, though.”

“How else do you live?” I asked.

“With love, of course.”

I took another bite of pizza and mulled it over. That sounded cheesy as hell.

A small TV hanging out of the kitchen where we got our food had a story about a recent citizen’s death; some hot, young socialite who recently married a brooding artist with a taste for blood. But the groom got hungry on their honeymoon.

The table next to us had a couple of female peacekeepers snickering over it. I ignored them at first, but their excited voices stole my attention.

“Not sure why humans keep trying to marry vampires. Don’t bring things into your bed that wanna eat you.”

Her friend giggled. “Funny. That’s exactly why I let people in my bed.”

The two women caught me staring and waved. I politely returned the gesture before dying of embarrassment.

“Zak?” I blurted out, unsure of what I wanted to say yet, “I’d feel better with gloves on. I didn’t see any at the store but could we go back?”

Zak’s smiles should be bottled and sold as antidepressants. He didn’t even have to say anything and I felt safer.

“Here.” He reached into his brown jacket and handed me some basic, black gloves. When had he gotten them? My routine kicked in and I slid them over my fingers in record time before letting out a breath.

“I didn’t hurt you back at the station?” I asked. He had been pretty careless around me so far but I didn’t want another accident, like with Peter. The news story about the vampire could have been about the two of us; “local boy killed by demon girl at a house party.”

“ Ah , don’t worry about me.” Zak scooped up my trash and tossed everything before I could offer to do it myself. “ I don’t think you could kill anyone here so easily with a single touch.”

“You don’t”

“Most of the people here are trained to handle, well, people like you and me. So, we’re more equipped should you lose control, which won’t happen because we’re going to teach you too!”

What was it I felt? Relief? While being lumped in with other demons stung, the realization that EXO wasn’t helpless to my abilities reassured me.

“Ready to see where you’ll be staying?” he asked.

My stomach knotted up. Nerves? I knew I couldn’t be hungry after that, but an annoying itch lingered that pizza couldn’t scratch. Water hadn’t helped either. The headache I felt a while back returned. Funny, I hadn’t been one for migraines.

I followed Zak back outside while massaging my temples. It could’ve been the stress; a lot had happened. My aunt spirited off somewhere and I hadn’t exactly had a moment to stop worrying. We ventured back outside to the courtyard when I heard Zak trying to get my attention. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” I said, “Just my head.”

Something seemed to click in his mind and he snapped his fingers together. “That stuff your aunt gave you, you’ve been taking it for a while, right?”

“All my life.” Brewing her powder into a tea had always been the easiest way to get it down. Add a little honey and I could ignore the sharp or bitter flavors.

“Let’s clear it out of your system. The less dependent you are, the easier self-control will be.”

I figured he’d bring that up. It wouldn’t be the first time I tried skipping days out of spite or curiosity. The headaches had never been a consequence before, but “that stuff” kept me more human than a demon, according to Naomi. Without it, I didn’t know what I would turn into.

“You think I’m having withdrawals?” I asked. Naomi claimed nothing addictive had been added to it. Just herbs and a spell or two.

“After almost twenty years of repression?” Zak shuddered. “You’ll definitely have withdrawals. I’m surprised you’re not in worse shape.”

“What if…” I licked my lips. The question felt stuck to my tongue.

What if I did have a hideous demon form and the drugs kept me human?

What if I quit the drug and grew horns overnight?

He smiled. “Whatever it holds back, it’s nothing you can’t handle.”

Again with his unreasonable amount of confidence in me. What exactly had been in those supplements? I thought long and hard about the taste of my pills or tea. Dirt. Always dirt. What ungodly food groups helped a demon thrive, the blood of virgins? Gods, I hope not.

Had Naomi even been capable of obtaining human essence? Stealing a lock of someone’s hair worked for charms and curses. What would a potion of suppression require? I had an idea, although I hoped Naomi hadn’t been familiar with it. A darker circle existed in our world that advertised the forbidden; a black market. They had anything you could think of or wouldn’t think of. Humans, supernaturals—yes, the living and breathing kind—drugs, weapons, magic, and various danger ous artifacts.

I pushed the thoughts away. My aunt’s paranoia would’ve kept her far away from something sketchy like that. But then, I remembered what she said about her teleporting broomstick and how “expensive” it had been.

While I endured my third mental crisis of the day, we came upon the brick building. A spacious common area waited beyond the doors. The warm brown and orange tones felt much cozier from the cold exterior of the other building. Couches had been staged with plenty of pillows. A medium-sized flatscreen hung on the wall, still humming from someone forgetting to shut it all the way off. Vending machines sat available next to a communal kitchen where the essence of someone’s burnt popcorn still clung to the air.

“Here we are,” Zak said, “You’ll find more peacekeepers in training here. Many of them are in similar situations as you and just need a place to stay.”

“Am I the youngest recruit?” I asked.

“Nope. Eighteen is the volunteer age and most new recruits we try to keep under thirty.”

“You mentioned earth years. How old are you, exactly?” Am I allowed to think about what his thick hair or muscly shoulders feel like, if he’s a billion years old, was my real question.

Zak’s cheeks puffed up like I’d insulted a squirrel, not an angel. “Isn’t that a rude question?”

“It’s just that you don’t look much older.”

“Relax, I’m joking,” he said, “I’m twenty-five earth years, I think.”

“You think?”

“Eternity does a good job at ruining birthdays.”

While I silenced the obnoxious butterflies in my stomach, someone made their way down the set of stairs and into the room with us. Mousy hair dressed the stranger’s head in a tousled mess as if he’d just woken from a nap. His face appeared sunken with deep, dark rims around his eyes. He looked like a walking corpse. My eyes gravitated to the plaid pants hanging from his hips.

His casual appearance caught me off guard and I was surprised further by his deep, drawled voice. “Oh, you’re back.”

“Look at you, sunshine,” Zak said, “Come say hello.”

Upon first glance, he struck me as someone who stayed in on weekends with a pizza and maybe his pet cat. Not keen on social gatherings. However, he approached us without a lick of nervousness. “Call me Guy. What poor soul did Zak recruit this time?”

A guy named Guy? Easy enough to remember. If he’d intended on being humorous with the indifferent expression on his face, I couldn’t tell. The low vibrations he spoke could lull me into a deep, dark sleep.

He sounded oddly familiar.

“Have I…” I analyzed his face for a second too long. My voice struck a high note to compensate for being rude. “I’m Jess. Nice to meet you.”

A tiny smirk formed on Guy’s lips. “Zak treating you alright? He can be a bit abrasive.”

He watched us with cool, gray eyes and I noticed something interesting. With a little trick of the light, I could see soft, crystalized lines in his irises but he didn’t possess the same warmth as Zak or Jarmiel. Could he really be an angel too?

“That’s not very nice,” Zak said, “I bought her yoga pants.”

“ And intrusive.” Guy shrugged. “Glad to see you ended up here. Probably your best outcome.”

I felt my brows inching closer together. He spoke as if he knew about my arrest already.

Zak proceeded to ask Guy how things went during his absence. From the lack of sparkle in his eye, it appeared Zak actually knew how to be serious when need be. “Thanks for holding down the fort. We can chat more later.”

He turned to me. “You’re on the third floor, Jess. I can show you.”

Before I could follow after him toward the stairs, Guy extended one, pale hand from his pockets. “I’ll be seeing you around, then?”

There shouldn’t have been a concern since I had gloves again but before our fingertips even touched, a chill prickled down my neck. Taking his hand was like grasping an icicle, even with fab ric covering my flesh. The cold traveled all the way up my arm and spread into my chest.

I looked up and saw him . Again.

The face of Death.

His bony complexion had two bottomless pits staring back at me. How did he do that? An illusion or was the human flesh he wore the actual facade? I took my hand back with a sharp gasp. As soon as I did, the mirage faded, and Guy’s image returned. He sported a cheeky grin while I calmed my beating heart. “Goodnight,” he said.

The warmth came flooding back almost immediately after Guy stepped away. He took a bottle of water from the fridge and I scurried off to find Zak. I thought we’d take the stairs but he stood in front of metal doors to another elevator.

My eyes remained glued to my hand for a while until I heard Zak suppressing a snort. “Sorry if he startled you.”

“Was he the one at my apartment?” I asked a little hotly, not enjoying his humored reaction.

“Yes,” Zak said, “You gave Max some trouble, so I called reinforcements.”

My spine stiffened. Don’t tell me …

The werewolf who chased me down. A new chilling sensation danced down my back, quickly followed by dread. Of course, everyone I’d evaded would be there.

It really had been Death, then. I touched a reaper. And he wears pajamas!

“How did you get reapers to work for you?” I asked.

“Just the one and he chose to,” he answered simply, but there had to be more to it, “Hey, let’s get you settled. I’m sure you’re tired.”

Like I would fall asleep anytime soon.

The elevator doors opened to a maroon, carpeted floor, and we rode upward until the lit-up numbers hit three. Once out, we stopped at the first door to our right. “We just got new mat tresses, so no need to worry about the cleanliness of the previous tenant,” he said, “Not bad, huh?”

He pushed the door in and allowed me to step inside. I expected a cot, metal bunk beds, a roommate, or the width of a walk-in closet. But no. It had a single bed with a blanket and pillow folded at the end. An empty desk sat by a window where I could watch the city from a distance. My own room back home felt cramped in comparison.

“Not bad?” I laughed, “Is this a joke?”

“You can personalize it any way you’d like. You don’t have your own toilet, though. Gotta share with the others down the hall,” Zak said.

“This is… nice.” I could pretend I had a college dorm. A sil ly fantasy to have but then, why had it made me excited?

“Is there any way I could get my phone back?” It felt awkward to ask, especially after he’d done so much already. I had no media presence or friends to get back to, but I wanted something in case Naomi reached out.

I could tell by his narrowed gaze that I wouldn’t like the answer. “I’ll look into it but it wouldn’t hurt if you went off the grid for a while. Let the excitement die down and we’ll get you through exams and come back to this after.”

Zak gave me another pat on the arm. “Don’t take it too hard. Could be worse, right?”

“Right…” I forced a smile that he responded to in kind. He left, saying I should get actuated with my space and some rest.

I knew why demons hated angels now. Who, in their right mind, would choose to torture themselves this way? Even if I’d been wary of Zak, I didn’t hate the feeling of sunlight and radiance with him near. With it gone, I was left as a dusty moth coveting the flame. Why would anyone want to be alone after that?

I was feeling out my mattress when I heard a soft knock.

“Zak?” I opened the door. My sharp inhale was too loud to play it off as subtle.

Guy’s silver eyes flickered down at me. “No. Just thought you might want this.”

He held out an arm with a black duffle looped around his palm. Not just any bag.

My bag!

“Sorry about before,” he said, “You were a job. Nothing personal.”

His apology lacked any real conviction. I reached for it, un sure at first. Why did he have it and why was he offering it to me freely?

“Guess you did your job well,” I said.

He worked his tongue on the inside of his cheek. His lips parted and I expected more but all he said was. “It would seem. Have a good night. Jess.”

You too. Prick.

I closed the door and cocooned myself in blankets after that. Furious but also curious. I imagined reapers as ghoulish phan toms who only ran with spirits, hiding a wealth of otherworldly knowledge in their shadowy abyss. Guy and his pajama pants turned my upside down world diagonal.

It would be weird not waking up in the apartment tomorrow. The cats wouldn’t tickle my nose with the scent of their piss, which really wasn’t a loss. They weren’t really ours. My aunt just had a weak spot for strays. A few of our favorites were welcome in the apartment but would leave through the windows as they pleased.

Naomi really should have been more concerned about shifters, now that I thought about it.

The darkness in my room grew heavier as my body sank into the mattress. Two years or not, I already felt in my gut that I was never going back home. I was just one of the many strays that used our home for refuge.

Maybe, I’d always been.