14

W e met outside that day with the brisk morning air. Tori greeted me with a timid smile. I knew the weather didn’t affect her spirit body and was slightly jealous. A few days had passed and no fainting spells for me. That had a lot to do with mine and Zak’s one on one’s.

Our “lessons” consisted of us holding hands and me pre tending to know how to control the ebb and flow of his energy. I appreciated that it took place away from the group but hopefully that wouldn’t get Zak into a compromising situation. Especially with his position and the other angels…

Tori looked very human that day, as in, not like a stuffed animal. I eyed the bear taking its place on her hip, and half ex pected it to move again. “Sorry about the other night,” she said, “I hope you know it was just for laughs. I didn’t think a demon would be so jumpy.”

“It was funny,” I said.

After I shit myself.

“You seem distant this week. Just making sure it wasn’t because of me,” she said.

“No. No, I’ve… had a lot on my mind.” I gave her a reassuring smile. When I thought back on it, my reaction to her joke wasn’t classy. And the way I grabbed Guy. Ugh.

He probably thought I was such a loser, cowering behind him. My job, eventually, was to protect people from the scary stuff, not hide from them. I had to get used to tense situations.

That was going to prove harder with Aiden around.

When I asked Zak last night why he was there in the first place, he said: “He’s Blaxill’s eldest. We have the whole trio.”

Mallory already had a weird fixation with me but now her creepy brother too. Aiden acted indifferent toward every one, even his brother, Darren. Mallory was his only cohort. She seemed to be the only one on Aiden’s level, as they snickered constantly together.

Tori and I arrived together on the field but were welcomed with turning heads and piercing stares. That had become the norm since I fainted. Was it because of Zak? I practically groped the guy in front of everyone the other day, and then abruptly left.

Zak’s bountiful enthusiasm as he bossed us around made it easier to ignore everyone else at least. Although outwardly admiring him wouldn’t help my case. Tori hadn’t mentioned anything, but I caught her glancing between Zak and me several times. I kept my excitement in check whenever he called my name for something, but that didn’t fool everyone.

“Does someone have a crush on the teacher?” Aiden asked.

Tori left my side for maybe a second when he creeped up behind me. He’d done that a few times now, like he enjoyed startling me. I didn’t want to overthink it, though.

“No. Not that it’s your business,” I said.

“Liar.”

He didn’t press any further and slunk off to stand beside his sister. Creep. I huffed. It wasn’t like the age gap between any of us was that extreme. Discounting spiritual years, anyway. I wasn’t pining after someone’s grandfather. Just an angel.

Just an angel.

I knew it wasn’t the last of Aiden’s adorable jabs. The not-so-judgemental part of me wanted to give everyone a chance, but Aiden had a vibe. He looked like a guy who would treat his dates to a fancy dinner but drizzle them over his dessert.

Okay. That may have been a purely judgemental thought. I didn’t know him at all. All I had was the minute we were in jail together and I wouldn’t label it a pleasant experience. He could just be eccentric or enjoys messing with people. Deep down, he might be a nice person.

I met his eyes from across the field and he gave me a slow lick of his lip.

Nope. My judgment stands.

After warming up, an obstacle course had been set up in the grass. It wasn’t made of much, probably because the absurdly strong and flexible simply blew through it. Drones carried small targets high in the sky and Mallory danced her way into the air. She didn’t miss a single one with her wide kicks and daggers for fingernails.

I remained on the ground; climbing over walls, crawling under wires, jumping on beams—anything you could think of that still respected gravity. The last area had a tall and narrow platform set up for us to run across, because why not?

The weak surface did not complement my anxious attempt to remain swift and balanced. I made it about halfway when a figure dropped from above and landed, perfectly perched on my beam, like a cat.

“Boo,” Max growled.

My legs shook from the surprise and I lost my footing. His blue eyes followed me as I fell. I starfished on the grass, won dering if I would have permanent back problems from training. Max hadn’t left his post. He must have been enjoying the view. I grumbled a few rude names to call him while pushing myself up.

The werewolf dropped right on top of me and caged me under all four of his limbs. I pressed myself back into the dirt and shielded my face, wondering if he’d heard what I’d called his mother.

His hot breath hit my knuckles. “If I were hunting you, you’d be dead already. Demon. ”

I scoffed. How did he know? Not that we kept it a big secret. “Could you get off me?”

“Are you even trying? I expected more from something like you.”

I wormed my way out from under him, ignoring how he’d tried using his words as a knife. Why target me? And what made him any less monstrous than me? We hadn’t even spoken all that much. Was he still being petty over the whole bloody flannel on the bus thing?

His head jerked to the side like he had heard something. Without even standing up all the way, he leaped back into the air and reached the beam. Good riddance.

Max was right, though. I hadn’t done much to impress and I’d been quiet about what happened after I fainted. In truth, I hadn’t wanted to announce that I could be a succubus. Even Zak expressed concern about the word getting out, more than the general title of half-demon.

I grasped at the grass and pulled myself back up. The leathery blades felt crispy all of a sudden. Did grass die that quickly after being crushed? I didn’t pay much mind. Winter would arrive any day; everything was drying up.

When I finally finished the course, I drowned myself in my ice-cold water bottle. The whole time I kept imagining how much more satisfying touching Zak’s hand would be, as opposed to the liquid relieving my parched tongue. Maybe his arms too…

I couldn’t even remember how Peter had felt before. Warm, I think , but not like Zak. Did souls have variations, like flavors of soda? If I had to compare the two, Zak was like a warm cup of sunny, rich butterscotch, and Peter had been tap water.

Gods. I was equating the worth of souls to food and drink.

Zak shouted for the group to get organized again, but I took my time. I worried for my own soul, the good half of it anyway, after having compared Peter’s to sink water. My body ached too, reminding me that my strength came from other souls and I’d spent it sweating, jumping, and climbing.

I hated it.

Zak had welcomed me so easily, demon blood and all. Why was it so hard to accept my own circumstances? How could he not see me as something to hate?

A scratchy voice tickled the back of my ear.

“You look thirsty, Cupcake.”

Not again. Aiden chuckled at my gloomy state. He leaned back on his heels while his crimson gaze traveled shamelessly around my body. “I just came to sympathize,” he said.

“They have gallons of the synthetic stuff to help with your problem,” I said, even though I knew he likely only drank organic, “And stop calling me Cupcake.”

His grimace scrunched his handsome face. “I’ll pass. So, you ended up here of all places?”

“You did too.”

“C’mon, we’re not in the pod anymore. You don’t have to be skittish with me.”

My dismissiveness seemed to only humor him further. I preferred our circumstances back then. At least then he’d been handcuffed. “You still had someone’s blood on your lip when we met.”

Aiden’s head leaned to one side and he stepped closer. “What were you lookin’ at my lips for?”

His eyes narrowed as my internal temperatures skyrocket ed. I came up with something quick to retort, “I couldn’t help there was an obvious mess on your face.”

“Not used to vampires in your neck of the woods?”

“Are they alive?” I asked.

“She lived,” he paused, “I think.”

“You think ?”

He raised his shoulders. “I’m not a paramedic, Cupcake. Maybe it was an accident . You can understand that, can’t you?”

My tongue went from mostly dry to a sandy desert. Did he know about Peter? A few words from his sly lips and I was plagued with images of Peter’s face struggling to breathe.

A clever grin crept across Aiden’s face. If he’d intended to provoke me, then he was a bigger tool than I thought. I took a long, angry drag from my water bottle. If I couldn’t stop the images from coming, I’d drown them.

“Sorry, am I being presumptuous thinking we have something in common?” Aiden asked in the same tone of innocence and mockery as Mallory. When I continued to remain silent and crossed my arms he shook his head. “Let’s start over. I could really use a friend while I’m stuck here. Looks like you could too.”

My lack of companions around me reaffirmed how alone I felt. Tori was great, but flighty? However, most vampires made “friends” outside of their circles to get free, consensual meals. In another life, and if he hadn’t been interested in my blood, I might’ve enjoyed the attention. His raven colored hair did him a lot of favors. As far as male beauty went, he had the longest lashes I’d ever seen and a facial structure that anyone would envy.

Still, I didn’t want to become a vampire’s personal blood bag.

“You don’t want my blood,” I said, “I doubt it tastes any good.”

“Now, who’s being presumptuous?” Aiden’s eyes paused at my throat. “I happen to have an adventurous palate.”

“That’s great for you. I’m not interested.”

I turned sharply but he inserted his body in my path. My face came close to his chest. His ruby eyes glittered down at me from beneath his umbrella lashes. “You don’t really care about this shit, do you?” he asked, sounding like a normal person and not a gravelly seducer.

“What?” I grumbled, wanting to return to the group. I’d even welcome Max’s perpetual glaring.

“Just a wild guess. You’re no more a volunteer here than I am.”

Aiden and his siblings all seemed pretty passive toward their duties at EXO. I mean, Mallory enjoyed showing off, but none of them seemed thrilled about the goal of defending the innocent. Which begged the question, what had they done to get “recruited?”

“Just ask someone else to feed you,” I said. Could Zak see us?

Aiden caught me looking for the angel, anyway, and laughed with his head tilted back. “ Please don’t tell me you’re actually sweet for Mr. Sunshine over there?”

A heavy stone sank in my stomach.

“You know you’re just a tool to him,” Aiden said, “At least a friendship with me comes with equal exchange. I give as much as I get, Cupcake. Wouldn’t that make life easier for both of us?”

I didn’t have to keep listening to him. When I made to leave, his lanky body stuck to me like a shadow; playfully mirroring my movements. Aiden took it one step further and nipped at the air just above my head.

“You bite me and I’ll scream.” My attempt to sound threatening only made his smile grow. It was a weak threat. I should’ve offered to stake his heart.

“I certainly hope so,” was his smooth response.

“Aiden.” Guy appeared like a dark shadow behind the vampire, not as tall but equally imposing. He hadn’t arrived on his cloud chariot like my latest rescue from Tori’s bear but his timing had been perfect. “Jess needs to focus,” he said, “You’d benefit from the same.”

Aiden lingered for a few seconds longer even with the reaper staring him down. I couldn’t hear any of us breathing. The tense moment couldn’t end soon enough.

“ Jess ?” Aiden finally said, singing my name. “That’s a nice name. Jess, Jess, Jesssssss.”

I frowned. “Will you stop calling me Cupcake?”

He just smiled before dragging himself back to the group. Guy watched as well and pinched his forehead like he was ex periencing a migraine. “You’re going to be trouble aren’t you?”

“ Me ?” I asked.

What about him?

Guy was either deep in thought over how much of a nuisance I was or wanted to distance himself from the situation because he never answered.

***

To my surprise, Jarmiel pulled me early from training.

At least he wanted to talk to me.

I had a feeling I was in trouble, though, unless I read his harsh, yet beautiful, expression wrong. He’d shown disappointment in Zak’s involvement with me from the beginning, but any excuse to sit sounded nice. I recovered quickly but the aggressive training still drained me.

He brought me to the same classroom we used last time and made no mention of Zak. I decided not to mention it either. Less attention we received, the better.

Nothing; that was what that hug between Zak and me had been.

“You have homework this week,” Jarmiel said, “We should be caught up with the others soon and you can join their classes.”

We reviewed previous classes together. I was still curious about the average day for a peacekeeper, but I supposed that came with experience. After Jarmiel finished going over the rules with me, again, I took advantage of the transition into his next lesson.

“Jarmiel, you said that demons work differently and that depends on their origins?” I started.

“Yes.”

“Are Ghouls demons?”

“Interesting. Why do you ask?”

“Zak said The Necromancer made them,” I said.

“He did, did he?” Jarmiel took a long breath. “Yes, Ghoul bodies aren’t biologically demonic. In fact, they’re entirely human. When they become possessed by The Necromancer’s magic, that changes, but we don’t know if he’s conjuring demons to inhabit them or if the Ghouls remain mindless puppets.”

“Would they be more powerful if demons possessed them?” I asked.

“Depends on the demon. A demon on the surface of Terra has only half their normal strength. When they possess human vessels, they regress even further.”

“Why?”

“We believe it has a lot to do with the World Soul.” Jarmiel took a break from the projector we clearly forgot about and went for a textbook instead. He opened a thick one and laid it out for me on my desk. “Of course, these are just drawings, but close to the real thing.”

The pages looked like beautifully drawn, ethereal trees. But the longer I looked, the more confused I became. I thought I could make out other organic shapes, like organs , from their transparent frames. They were all connected, like roots lead ing to one, larger being.

The World Soul.

I was not expecting a mythical history lesson.

Angels and demons made their public debuts, but the World Soul remained fantastical, and was still treated reverently amongst religious sects. Probably because no one living had ever seen it.

Faith required.

“The World Soul needs all elements in balance, specifically light and dark matter. Both are necessary to survive, like a plant that needs the sun and the rain. Heaven provides pure light while Hell resides in pure darkness. Within those realms, angels and demons are at their full strength. On Terra, however, where the light and dark mix, we adapt to half the available matter. Does that make sense?”

Uh, huh… I nodded. “I think so.”

“Even you won’t have access to your full capabilities unless you return to Hell. Your comfort in living on this plane probably comes from your remaining half lineage, whatever that may be exactly,” he said, “I often forget that your upbringing wasn’t an informative one. Feel free to ask questions and I’ll answer what I can.”

What he can .

Did that mean he was going to be selective in what he told me?

“So, being half means I’m even weaker?” I asked.

“That remains to be seen.”

“What happens to the World Soul if things aren’t in balance? Like, if there’s more light than dark, or the other way around?”

“The World Soul has a system in place,” Jarmiel said, and I think he noticed my hand starting to raise because then he add ed, “Reapers, yes. They enforce the World Soul’s will, keeping the balance between Heaven and Hell.”

“So there’s angels and demons feeding the World Soul, and reapers keeping things in order… Why humans? Why super naturals?” I knew I was asking a loaded question, but if I had a wise angel at my disposal, why not try discovering the meaning of life?

“Humans are born of the World Soul, pure and impression able. We don’t know why the World Soul creates, just that it does. And has. As humans are exposed to both light and dark matter, their souls begin to change. Eventually, they find homes in Heaven or Hell, and thus the cycle continues.”

“So the great judgment everyone talks about is a soul having more light or dark matter?”

“Like likes like. Supernatural beings have struggled with this knowledge since they began as demonic experiments.”

“They did?” I asked.

He nodded. “The demon lords manipulated humans into beings like themselves through rather cruel acts of sorcery. I believe it was to mock the World Soul while coveting the power of creation.”

“That doesn’t seem fair,” I muttered. Assuming everyone wanted to get to Heaven, anyway. I didn’t even know where I’d end up when I died but at least fifty percent of me wore Hell’s brand.

Jarmiel’s soft smile appeared unexpectedly. “Why do you say that?”

“Well, it’s like getting shot in the foot before a race, right?” I didn’t think he would be the sensitive one, especially toward supernaturals.

“It would seem, but the race isn’t lost. We’re a bit off-topic now.” His warmth faded and he didn’t explain further.

“Sorry,” I said, trying to disguise the disappointment in my tone, “It’s just interesting. No one talks about the World Soul.”

“A pity. Is your aunt religious? I’d assume that a witch would believe in some higher power or another.”

I snorted. “Yes and no. Worship isn’t really her jam, unless there’s a cat god I don’t know about.”

Jarmiel paused for a moment and I raised a brow.

“There is?” I asked.

“I suppose. In another realm or universe.”

“Holy crap.”

He smirked at my wide-eyed expression. “I wouldn’t search beyond your realm as it is already vast and treacherous.”

“What counts as my realm?”

I think he debated on humoring me because he glanced at his projector and swayed a bit. He switched the lights back on. “Since you’re currently living, it’s here. All around you,” he said, “Terra was made for mortal existence. Reapers are protectors of the World Soul and use Death as their tool. Heaven and Hell are made for immortality and take responsibility for the souls that pass on, as I said before.”

“Do I even try if I’m already a demon?” I liked the idea of mystical god-trees but if I was already bound for Hell, what was the point?

“You mean, to enter Heaven?” Jarmiel’s pensive gaze scanned across my face. “I don’t think I have these answers for you, Miss Winters.”

As much as I appreciated his honesty, it sucked. I’d rather not see Hell if I could help it. How could anyone fight fate that was imprinted on their very blood?

“If you want one angel’s opinion ,” Jarmiel started again, “I wouldn’t give up hope. Though, I’ve never met a demon who longed for Heaven, we already know you to be peculiar. Being in Zakiel’s company should have worn you down, not lifted you up. Although, he tires me .”

His confidence and jokes brought peace back into my mind. I even grinned. There was an air of adoration when Jarmiel spoke of Zak, only when out of earshot.

“What is Heaven like?” I asked.

Jarmiel turned his attention to the windows. His golden eyes reflected the sun, making the crystal lines twinkle and dance. I already knew he was a naturally gorgeous man, in all angelic fashion, but he’d never looked so serene. “This temporary mortality fogs my memories, but it is beautiful. Let’s carry on. If you wish to return to the topic another time, I could oblige.”

Just like that, we were back into work mode. Jarmiel’s volume elevated to prove his point. “Now, demonology is a sensitive topic to teach as demons can invade weak minds who explore such literature. The shortest incantation can entice any simple dark spirit. So, before going further, I advise honing your mind to be aware of intrusive thoughts. It’s as simple as practicing discipline.”

“Simple. Right.” Naomi used to say something similar. She let me know why I was different from other people, but she refused to let me explore deeper than that. No books. No names. As a child, it was easy to accept. Demons were scary and I didn’t want that.

“Do demon lords invade minds too?” I asked.

Jarmiel’s shoulders slumped. I think he could tell that I was about to take us down another tangent, but he nodded. “Some could care less and leave the meddling to their underlings. Others enjoy the torment.”

“What did The Devourer want when he started the war?”

“To bleed darkness into all three realms and create whatever he desired with no other gods to oppose him. In other words, control.” Jarmiel listed the facts off like he was a textbook himself. “He failed but there are plenty of others eager to continue his work.”

“That’s why the war isn’t over. They’re all coming to take his place.”

When Jarmiel confirmed, I swallowed. Why wasn’t news like that being broadcast? All we ever heard about was the good angels were doing, and occasionally, putting down supernatural politicians.

Jarmiel once again seemed to understand my thoughts. “It’s another reason EXO exists; to prepare for what’s to come and, hopefully, prevent another catastrophe. Any other questions, Miss Winters?”

My head shot up from my desk. Apparently, I had been burning holes into the wood. “So many… Which hell kingdom do I come from?”

He took a moment to mull over the bookshelf behind his desk, running his fingers along each spine. “It would be hasty of me to assume, however… The Kingdom of Lust. Dangerous, hungry, and unforgiving. Its inhabitants experience all the plea sures of the world but are never satisfied, only being rewarded with eternal emptiness and frustration. Considering your ability to tamper with souls through touch. It’s very possible you’re the successful offspring of an incubus or succubus.”

I groaned. There I’d been, hoping there was more to it all, but I was just the result of some flying ejaculation with horns. Jarmiel selected a few books from his collection, creating a slow-growing pile in his arms. “It’s only natural to be curious. I do wonder how much your aunt truly knows. Sheltering you was a good way to keep demons from finding you.”

She’d been trying to hide me from angels as well. I sat on the edge of my seat waiting for him to proceed with something more uplifting. My eyes grew in sync with the number of books he continued to stack. He returned to my desk and dropped the heap in front of me, making the wood creak under the weight.

“Take these,” he said, “One book for each kingdom. For personal study.”

I gazed sorrowfully at him but it did nothing to crack the rigid angel. He was supposed to be the strict and responsible one. Why was he allowing me to take demonology books home? “But I thought you said—”

“It is unwise.” He moved his head from side to side. “It is dangerous.”

“You’re really letting me read these?” I asked to be sure. Jarmiel was a smart man. He had to know what he was doing. It was like handing a demon ambition. I had no idea why the angels kept giving me chances. Unless Jarmiel was testing me.

Jarmiel’s golden gaze didn’t lift from the ground like he was trapped in a bittersweet daydream. “Leaving someone in the bowels of ignorance can be quite cruel. Or a blessing. I’ll let you decide, as it is your right.”