Chapter 19

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Mercury thought he was going to pass out. Had he heard her correctly?

Of course, all eyes were on Nick. Silently, he rose to his feet.

"It has been a pleasure meeting you all. I think I should probably leave."

He walked out of the room.

"I will never forgive you for this," Mercury snarled at Madeline. "Never."

Without waiting for the crap that would come out of her mouth, he chased after Nick. He'd already made it to the front door when Mercury caught up with him.

"Wait," Mercury said, pushing the door closed "Please. I'll force her to apologise."

"I don't want it," Nick replied. "You betrayed my trust and told your mother? Did you see the look on everyone's face?"

Mercury shook his head. He had to make Nick see.

"She was lashing out. She didn't mean it."

"I understand perfectly. Her party bombed so she took it out on the rough trade darling Mercury brought home. Don't you get it?"

"Get what?"

"Our worlds are incompatible, Mercury. Your life is about photo shoots, famous people and cash. Mine is playing endless games of ping-pong."

He gently took Mercury's hand from the door and opened it.

"Sleep on it," Mercury said. "I'll come early tomorrow and we can talk."

Nick turned to Mercury. "I think it's best if you contact your probation officer tomorrow. See if they can find you somewhere else to finish your community service. Tell them we're so taken up with the campaign I don't have the resources to supervise you properly. I'll give you a reference."

"No!" Mercury shouted. "Nick, don't do that."

Nick walked out into the summer evening. "I'm going to have to insist, Mercury. It's for the best."

Mercury could only watch him go down the steps and onto the street.

I'm never going to see him again.

He leant against the wall. Mercury refused to move until Nick made it to the end of the crescent. Just in case he turned back.

He didn't.

Even when the street was empty, Mercury couldn't tear himself away. His heart was breaking at the memory of Nick's face when confronted with his past.

Inside, he could hear his mother's voice. She was clearly trying to persuade her friends that she did the right thing. Mercury didn't have the strength to tear a strip off her. He needed time to think and to work out what the fuck he was going to do to salvage things.

He knew where he had to go.

Mercury woke with a start. He'd only been asleep for an hour. The daylight broke through the curtains and danced on his sleeping bag.

Is he staring at the ceiling too?

He shifted to get comfortable. In the process he managed to knock an empty wine bottle from the table.

"Just come and get in with me. Jesus Christ."

Mercury wriggled out of his sleeping bag and padded through into the bedroom.

"That sofa is not built for sleeping," he muttered.

"I didn't say talk," Lotty replied. "It's five thirty in the morning. Get in. Go to sleep."

Mercury dove under the duvet. It had been a warm night but even sharing a quilt was preferable to being boiled in a bag.

He lay there. His mind playing all his memories with Nick. It wasn't only that either. He hadn't even had a chance to say goodbye to the kids. They would think he'd grown tired of them.

"Okay," Lotty said. "You can talk."

They had talked their way through two bottles of wine. Everything had been said.

"Why would she do it?"

Lotty sat up. She thumped a pillow into submission and tucked it behind her head.

"You said yourself. Drugs trigger her."

"She's a fucking actress. Do you think she calls out every coked-up actor, director or journalist that comes across her path? It doesn't wash."

"Babe, they aren't getting serious with her son. I'm not making excuses. She's been a total bitch. I'm saying you can at least try to understand even if you don't forgive."

Mercury pursed his lips. "You saw that on Instagram. Bloody hell, Lotty."

"I liked it. Besides, it's more than applicable."

"It's like being done for another crime I've not committed."

Lotty gasped.

"What?"

"Are you for real? You should never have told your mum about Nick's past. Mercury, you have to see that."

Mercury sighed. Of course he did. Admitting it he found to be a different prospect.

He covered his face with a pillow and screamed. When he came up for air, Lotty was watching him.

"I'm fucked. Aren't I?" he said.

"Babe, I think you need a clean slate. Ring your probation officer later. Get something decent and finish the bloody time. You can stay here as long as you like."

He was lucky to have her. When he'd stormed out of Queens Crescent about ten minutes after Nick, he'd come straight to Lotty.

"Thanks. Although that couch might have a different opinion. I can check into The Nickleby."

"Ooh fun," Lotty said. "I'll pack a bag."

Mercury sat up and kissed her on the cheek. "You're the best. Do you know that?"

"I do. Now can I get some sleep?"

When Mercury let himself into Queens Crescent, he heard voices upstairs. He had no appetite for confrontation and simply wanted to steal up to his bedroom.

Of course, fate had other ideas. As he made it to the first floor, Madeline appeared in the drawing room doorway. Amazingly, she looked exhausted.

"Mercury," she said.

"Mum, I've barely slept. I can't do this. Me and Lotty are staying at The Nickleby for a bit. I've just come to get some things."

Madeline's eyes filled with tears. "This is your home. I'll be going to Cyprus in a couple of days. We need to talk."

Mercury folded his arms. "About what?"

"I can't now. Josh is here."

Mercury shook his head. "How about you send me your calendar? I can book a slot."

He went to go upstairs. Being in the house made him want to heave.

"Darling, I was wrong. I shouldn't have done it. I?—"

"You, you, you. Listen, right now I'm so angry that I'm going to say things you may never forgive. Let me go."

Madeline nodded and stood back.

Mercury dashed up the rest of the stairs until he reached his room. In record time, he managed to throw some essentials into a holdall.

If jumping out of the window had been an option, he would have taken it over going down those stairs again. There was no way his mother would give him a clear escape route.

Maybe it's easier to give her what she wants.

Mercury ran down the stairs and into the drawing room. A teary-eyed Josh sat on the sofa with Madeline comforting him.

"It's not Winston, is it?" Mercury asked.

"He's gone," Josh said with a sniff.

"Dead?"

"No, of course not," Madeline said. "Josh and Winston have decided to have a break."

"I didn't decide," Josh cut in. "I don't get any say in this."

Mercury shook his head. "So, you ruined two relationships in one night? That's got to be a personal best, Mother. Josh, I'm sorry for you. I will say that before the cancer Winston was always a prize twat. I didn't expect that to change, did you?"

Josh and Madeline reared back.

"Did you say you're going to Cyprus in a couple of days?"

"Yes."

"Then I'll be home in three."

This time she wasn't going to hinder his exit. Mercury grabbed his bag and stalked out of the house. If being with Nick had taught him one thing, it was that it was time to get his own place.

As he walked out onto Queens Crescent, his first reaction was to tell Nick. He still wanted to impress him.

The Nickleby was only a few streets away. Mercifully, he made it there without bursting into tears. Lotty had already checked in.

He got up to the room intact. When he closed the door, he burst into tears again. Lotty guided him over to a chair in the window. She held his hand until the tears subsided.

"It went well then?" she said.

Mercury shook his head. "Not so much."

"How did it go with your probation officer?"

"Better. She returned my call and has a place for me at a community garden in Hackney. And don't say nice area."

Lotty sat on the bed. "It could be a lot worse."

"I don't see how. My almost boyfriend has gone. I can't bear to be in the same room as my mother. What's the positive?"

"You're handsome. You're rich. You could be litter picking in Leicester Square. Stop whining now."

Mercury winced. "Are we in the tough love phase, already?"

"We bloody are," Lotty said. "I've brought my laptop. We are about to order a sinful amount of room service and spend the evening getting your channel sorted out. I want my friend back now."

The certainty with which she said those words lit a fire in Mercury.

"You know what, let's do this. Can we get cocktails?"

He tried to raise a smile. Lotty took hold of his hand.

"I get that this hurts. I don't know if there's anything you can do about it though."

Anxiety was coursing through him. "It's not just Nick," he said. "It's everything. What if the campaign fucks up because I'm not there? Eddie and the others will think I just abandoned them. Oh, I hate this so much."

Lotty squeezed his hand. "One thing at a time, eh? I read a book once that said we should only worry about what we can change. If we get you back on top professionally, time might sort the rest. If it doesn't, then this was the biggest fucking learning curve of your life."

Mercury nodded and watched Lotty pore over the room service.

What had he actually done wrong though? Confided in his mother? Tried to change himself? Would going back into his old life be as easy as Lotty seemed to think?

So many questions were invading his thoughts Mercury was quite breathless.

Yet, the one question he wanted answering was way up in the air.

Will I ever see Nick again?