Chapter 27

CHAPTER 27

AURORA

N ico's words are like a bolt to my chest, piercing to the heart of me. I thought I got rid of all the guilt I felt in relation to Valerio's death. I thought wrong. I've never allowed myself to truly feel when it came to my father. I didn't allow myself to properly mourn him either. But hearing Nico speak about him dislodges a tiny piece of the armor I stuck to my heart.

I look away from Nico, feeling tears well in my eyes. Because I should have just sucked it up. I should have been brave enough to come and see Valerio, and now it's too late. He's gone. I pull away from Nico's hug to look him in the eye.

They're so soft now. I remember how much they used to scare me. But now, he always looks at me with a tenderness that makes me feel like I'm drowning in him. I don't want to drown. I don't want to lose myself. I barely even know who I am anymore.

"I should have talked to him when I had the chance," I confess in a whisper. "Are you happy now? You wanted this, right? You wanted me to regret it. You wanted me to feel like this," I say accusingly.

Nico looks stricken as he remembers the text he sent to me all those months ago.

"Fuck, Aurora, I didn't mean that," he states. "When I showed up at your apartment and saw you for the first time in ten years, I wasn't sure what to expect. But baby, you were so angry with me. And I wasn't sure I deserved it. Because it was your choice to leave in the first place. You left me and I couldn't understand why."

My chest heaves as a burning pain spreads through it. "You couldn't understand?" I repeat blankly. "Nico, I killed someone."

His expression tightens. "I know, sweetheart."

"No, I don't think you do. You don't understand."

How could he? The darkness is a part of who he is, and while I've learned to accept those parts of him, I am unwilling to accept that it may be part of me too.

"Then make me understand," he pleads. "Tell me what happened, baby."

My eyes screw shut as the memories I've hidden behind closed doors threaten to break through. Nico places his forehead against mine and my heart races in my chest because I know I can't hide it anymore. I don't want to.

If he really wants to know, so be it.

Ten Years Ago

Age Eighteen

I think everyone has a general idea of what they would do if they were ever kidnapped. Run, scream, and beg for mercy. Oddly enough, I do none of those things. And neither does my sister.

People like to call us princesses because of who our father is. I think it's ridiculous, but Lucia and I are still Maranzanos. They treat us like royalty because we can be likened to royalty in the Cosa Nostra. Therefore, we do not cower, and we do not say a word to the two men standing in the room with us. Although calling it a room might be a stretch. We're in a wide-open space with large windows. I'm guessing it's a sort of warehouse. Lucia's not too far from me and we're both tied to two individual poles.

The both of us come to a silent agreement to wait until the man standing guard leaves the room. He's not too interested in us either. He looks bored and his expression is shifty, on edge. It's clear he's not the one in charge. We wait for him to eventually leave us alone. Especially since we're not doing anything but glaring at him. When he finally ascertains we won't try anything, he walks away, opening the tall, rickety door and stepping outside.

Once he's gone, I expel a shaky breath, looking toward my sister.

"Talk to me, Luce. Are you hurt?" I question.

"I'm fine," she replies, struggling against the ropes. "Just extremely uncomfortable."

"We'll be okay. I'm sure they're coming for us," I state, sounding more hopeful than I feel.

I know without a doubt Nico's doing whatever he can to get to us. That's if he's not been harmed in the time we've been gone.

God, I hope he's okay.

"Lucia, tell me what happened. How did they get you?" I ask.

I have no idea who's behind this. But I'm guessing it's someone powerful. Only a person with power would be capable of abducting us from our own home.

"I was going to your room with Cross when I heard a sudden thud. Cross was shot, and next thing I knew, someone was shoving a white cloth in my face, and everything went black. And now we're here," she mutters angrily, pain flickering in her eyes at the thought of her guard.

She and Cross were close. And my heart aches because of what she had to go through.

"Okay, that correlates with what happened to me as well. But it doesn't make any sense. How were they able to get in?"

"My best guess is that it was an inside job. Probably a capo or a made man with a grudge against Papa," Lucia says astutely.

I'm pretty sure she's right. That's the only thing that makes sense. She's still struggling against the ropes, wiggling around like she's trying to reach for something. I frown.

"Would you stop that? Lucia, stay still," I scold.

The last thing we need is for our captors to come back in and decide we might be entertaining after all.

"I'm trying to get something," she says, her face screwed up in concentration.

Her hand stretches toward the back of her jeans as far as she can reach. Finally, she beams, showing me a small knife. My eyes widen.

"Where did that even come from?" I ask, bewildered.

"I was in the kitchen getting a snack when Cross arrived to usher me out. I knew something was up, so I grabbed this just in case. I hid it in the back of my pants. Idiots didn't even think to search us."

I stare at her, a little impressed and disappointed that I didn't think to grab a weapon. But my little sister has always been more quick-footed than me. Smarter too. She doesn't hesitate to start sawing at the ropes around her body.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea," I point out to my fifteen-year-old sister, who has a tendency to jump into situations recklessly without careful consideration.

"Aurora, if it were up to you, we'd be waiting for Nicolas to come here and save us," Lucia states.

"Actually, yes. I think that's a phenomenal idea."

I trust Nico, and I know he's already on his way. These men are dangerous. Usually, I'm all for not waiting for a man or being a damsel in distress. But sometimes, being a damsel is necessary, especially when your captors have guns and you have little to no combat experience.

"What if he's not coming?" she asks, shooting me a shrewd look. "We can at least try to get ourselves out of here."

"And end up with a bullet in our heads, most likely," I grit out.

"They won't kill us," she says with a completely false sense of bravado. "If they wanted us dead, we'd be dead already."

"I wouldn't be so sure," I murmur.

But I don't say anything else to stop her as she keeps sawing through the ropes. It's a very slow process, and we're lucky no one comes to check on us in the time it takes for her to get through her ropes.

"How long do you think we've been here for?" Lucia asks when she's close to done.

"It's pretty bright out right now. I'd say a couple of hours. It's maybe seven or eight."

"Okay," she murmurs. I watch as she breaks into a smile when her hands finally get free. She doesn't waste a moment before untying the ropes at her feet as well.

"Well done. Now untie me," I tell her, feeling dread spread through my chest.

I look toward the warehouse door warily, expecting someone to walk in at any minute. My stomach is in knots right now.

"Hurry up, Lucia," I say urgently.

My sister moves over to begin cutting through my ropes with the barely sharp edge of the knife. Removing her ropes took more than twenty minutes, but she's a little more mobile now and is able to work faster.

"So," Lucia drawls as she works. "Where were you last night? I didn't see you all evening."

"I was in Nico's room, waiting for him to get back," I mutter.

"Oh really?" my sister asks, her brown eyes twinkling. "Please tell me you both finally worked through all that sexual tension."

My eyebrows rise. "What do you even know about sexual tension, Lucia? You're fifteen."

"You say that like I'm ten. I do know things, you know. I watch TV, and I read," she states, sounding way too proud of herself.

"I need to pay more attention to the books you read."

"Don't be a killjoy, Rory."

"Would you please just hurry up? You're being way too blasé about this whole situation."

Lucia's always been a sort of daredevil. Brave, honest to a fault, and uncaring about what anyone else has to say about her. And usually, I love that about her, but we're in a viper's den right now and I really need her to be serious.

She's in the middle of cutting through the last row of ropes around me when the door bursts open. I gasp softly while Lucia drops the knife in shock, whirling around to see who it is. It's the guard from before and another one who looks furious at the sight of us. The new guard is also sporting a huge scar running up the side of his face.

"What the fuck is she doing loose?" he bellows.

My heart begins to pound painfully.

"She must have gotten free somehow," the milder guard replies.

Lucia surreptitiously drops the knife at my side right before she's yanked to her feet by her hair.

"No!" I scream, struggling to escape my bonds. But they're still too tight. "Let her go!"

"Shut up!" the man with the scarred face shouts. "You think you're smart, huh, little girl?" he questions, his hand still in her hair.

Lucia glares at him and I start to really fear for my sister's life.

"Who are you working for?" she asks. "Who's holding us captive?"

"That's none of your fucking business. If you say another word, you get a bullet in your head."

Lucia's eyes narrow. "You wouldn't dare."

Oh God. Please, please, please.

I'm still struggling against my ropes when my eyes land on the knife at my side. I grab it quickly to finish cutting through my bonds. Lucia is keeping both men distracted, so their eyes aren't on me, but I'm really worried she'll get hurt.

Scarface lets out a menacing chuckle. "You think you're so tough, don't you, little girl?"

"I'm certainly tougher than a guy who has to pick on little girls to feel good about himself," Lucia retorts.

If we get out of here alive, I'm giving her a lesson on survival instincts.

Scarface grows even more enraged. He pushes her, and she falls to the floor. He leans down to snarl in her face, and Lucia decides it's a good opportunity to headbutt him. A strangled gasp escapes from my lips and I stop breathing entirely when he brings out his gun.

"Don't hurt her!" I cry. "Please."

Lucia continues to glare at him, and he must take that as a challenge, because he raises the gun and slams the butt of it into the side of her head. My stomach rolls as I watch my sister fall down to the ground, unconscious. I manage to get free in the next instant, and I'm crawling toward her when I hear the sound of a gunshot.

I freeze for several seconds. Scarface falls to the ground right in front of me. There's a bullet wound in his head. The milder guard immediately leaps into action at the sight of his dead friend. He points his gun in the direction of the gunshot, which came from right outside the warehouse. I hear the sound of a fight going on outside, but I don't dare breathe until Nico comes into view.

I exhale in relief at the sight of him walking into the warehouse. Two men suddenly appear behind him, and he turns around to face them, which is a mistake. As soon as his back is turned, the milder guard takes aim, confidence and murder etched into his expression.

Terror flows through me at the thought of Nico in danger.

I've heard a lot about the fight-or-flight instinct. In that moment, my only instinct is to kill. My eyes scan for any weapon I can use to this end, and then they land on Scarface's gun. I don't even think. I don't blink. I just take it, and then I fire.

I also don't miss. All I can think as he falls down, is that the color of his hair matches the color of his blood. So much blood. I stand up and turn around to see that Nico's just dispatching the men he was fighting. There's a crazed expression in his eyes as he takes in the scene in front of him.

He can't know I just killed someone to protect him.

"It was self-defense," I lie. My voice is shaky as I trying to control my breathing. "He was going to shoot me!"

"I know. I know, mi vida . Just drop the gun, okay? I'm here," Nico says, his voice calm and controlled.

He approaches me slowly, reaching me in less than ten steps. I don't lower the gun until he's standing in front of me. His blue eyes are the only thing grounding me to reality in this moment.

"Let it go, Aurora," he whispers.

I finally do, my grip loosening from around the gun. He takes it out of my hand and tosses it to the floor before pulling me into his chest.

"Fuck, I'm so sorry, mi vida ," he says, expelling a harsh breath. I don't know who is shaking more—me or him. "I never should have let this happen to you. I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect you."

I let Nico continue to hold me for as long as he likes. Through it all, I stay silent, trying to compartmentalize my emotions. I tell myself that it's over. I killed someone and now I have to live with that. But I don't have to continue living the same life that brought me to this point. A wall starts to build around my heart, and I lock every feeling of fear and guilt behind it because now I know what I have to do.

Nico holds me to his chest like I'm the most important thing in the world. What he doesn't understand is that I became a monster today.

I became a monster because I love him.

When we get home, I'm taken to my room and given sleeping pills. I pass out from exhaustion or stress, I don't know. When I wake up again, it's dark and Nico's in the room with me, seated on a chair at my bedside. He gets to his feet as soon as I open my eyes, the sight of him filling my vision.

"Hey , mi vida . How do you feel?"

How do I feel? I think I'm still in shock. I manage to sit up, my eyes roaming around the room.

"Where's Lucia?" I ask groggily.

"She's safe. She's in her room, resting. Thankfully, her head injury wasn't serious," he quickly assures me. "Now, answer my question. How do you feel?'

"I'm fine," I lie, trying to look anywhere but into his eyes.

"Aurora," he says in a low tone. "You need to talk to me. Tell me what you want me to do."

"I just…" I hesitate before saying softly, "I need to be alone. Can you just leave me alone for a while?"

I can tell he wants to fight me on this, but he must see something in my expression that makes him back off.

"Just let me know when you're ready to talk," he says with a nod before leaning forward to press a kiss to my forehead.

And for one second, I want so badly to talk to him, to let him comfort me. I know Nico's capable of chasing all of my demons away. But I shouldn't be allowed to evade them, should I? I killed someone. I didn't even think twice about it.

Nico's about to walk out of the room when he seems to reconsider, turning around and taking off the locket around his neck. My heart skips a beat.

"Here, wear this," he says, holding it out for me. I think he can tell that I'm pulling away.

This is his attempt at stopping me, because he knows me so well. Just like I know him.

I shake my head. "I can't, Nico. I can't take that away from you."

"Aurora, I want you to have it."

"No, I can't. I'm sorry," I tell him, feeling my heart breaking in my chest.

His eyes flicker with so much emotion it takes my breath away. Then he inhales once and puts the necklace back on. After one last look at me, he leaves.

A few minutes after he's gone, Mona enters the room with a plate of food, which I eagerly consume, feeling starved. The food helps a little bit, and I gain some energy. My head becomes clearer, and I begin to analyze what a total nightmare the last twenty-four hours have been. Then I fall asleep. The next day I, repeat the same actions. The only time I get out of my bed is to check up on Lucia. She's completely fine, seemingly recovered. She's certainly better than me, which I am so glad about.

I return to my bed, tossing and turning until I finally come to a decision.

"Where's my Papa?" I ask the guard posted outside my bedroom door.

I'm directed to his study on the second floor. My father sits behind his desk, an imposing man. He's been like this all of his life. People like to tell me I take after him—his features and his countenance and sometimes I can see it. I've noticed we share the same mannerisms, but now all of that doesn't matter. What matters is what I need from him right now.

"Aurora," he greets me. "You should be resting, cara ."

He didn't even come to check up on us. He probably confirmed we were alive and then thought nothing of us again. That's his MO. He'll do just enough to ensure we're alive and then his mind goes back to what's really important to him.

"I'm done resting," I state. "We need to talk about what happened."

He shoots me a soft, sad smile. "One of my own capos conspired against me. He wanted to abduct you girls and demand a hefty ransom. If you ask me, he was being short-sighted. He had the both of you in his grasp and was still so small-minded."

I decide not to read into that too much.

"Where is he now? Dead?"

"No. Nicolas is with him in the dungeons. That boy certainly has a talent for drawing out a murder," he says off-handedly.

My heart skips a beat at the mention of Nico. There's no telling how much more time he's going to give me. Although, from what my father is saying, he's found something to occupy himself with.

"I've been thinking, Papa. I don't think Lucia should continue to be raised in an environment like this."

He pauses, arching a dark eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"We were kidnapped. I thought Lucia was going to die, Papa. And I was terrified."

He opens his mouth to speak, but I cut him off.

"I know you'll probably say something along the lines of fear being a weakness, but that's all bullshit. We're not one of your capos, and we've never shown any interest in matters concerning the outfit. We don't belong here."

"You do belong here, Aurora. This is your home."

"I don't want it to be my home anymore. I want to leave," I say with a soft breath. "I'm eighteen. I don't have to be here anymore. And I'm taking my sister with me."

He studies me for several moments. I have no idea what he's thinking.

"Do you understand the consequences of what you're asking?"

"Papa, I don't care."

"You'll have to leave everything behind, cara . I'm not sure you understand the implications of that," he states.

I cross my arms over my chest as I wait for him to realize just how serious I'm being.

"You'll have to leave Nicolas behind." That sentence alone is enough to make me waver slightly. My father nods like he's got me trapped. "If you really wanted it, I could have him go with you."

My heart rate speeds up as I allow myself to consider that for the briefest moment. Would Nico run away with us?

The answer comes to me even before my father speaks again.

"Do you think he would leave with you and your sister? Nicolas has a lot of ambition, Aurora. He's given a lot to establish a place for himself in the outfit."

He's right. I know he is. Nico would never throw it all away. He needs the outfit. He has his dreams and I would never ask him to give them up.

"Nico doesn't have to come with us," I finally say. "In fact, I don't want him to. It'll just be me and Lucia, Papa. You know I can take care of her. We'll take care of each other. But we can't continue to live like this. Mom wouldn't have wanted this for us."

His lips thin, and his eyes grow stormy like they always do at the mention of my mother.

"You have no idea what your mother would have wanted, Aurora."

"I know she'd want us safe."

"Yes," he nods in agreement. "And I want that as well."

He gets to his feet and walks over to a safe to pull out some documents. He places them on the table in front of me. The documents contain a new identity for me and Lucia.

"Everything you need to start over is in there," my father states. "ID cards, school identification, birth certificates. All under the names Aurora and Lucia Kent."

I exhale softly as I pore through them. "How do you already have these?"

"I had them made a long time ago. Just in case anything ever happened to me and the both of you were in danger. The documents are foolproof. They contain all the information you could possibly need. So now you just need to take them and go."

I look up at him, surprised he's not fighting this. And wishing that he would. Because when he said we'd have to leave everything behind, he meant himself as well. Shouldn't he care more than this? He might never see his daughters again.

"Do you still want to go through with this?" he asks.

I nod, knowing in my heart that I have to do this to protect Lucia.

"When do you want to leave?"

"Tomorrow morning. Before anybody gets up," I reply.

That manages to surprise him. "You're not planning on saying goodbye."

"Like I told you, Papa. I want a clean break, an easy one. If Nico knew, he would try to stop me."

"This will hurt him."

"I know," I say softly. "But I have to go through with this."

He nods in understanding. "I'll have everything you need ready for you by then."

"Thank you, Papa," I breathe, getting to my feet and starting to walk out of the room.

"Aurora?" he says softly, prompting me to look back at him. "You're so much stronger than you give yourself credit for, cara . I'm proud of you."

I don't need you to be proud of me, Papa. I need to know you really care. For once, just show it.

But he won't. I don't think he remembers how. I nod again to show that I understand before walking out of the room. My next daunting task is trying to convince Lucia. When I head into her room and tell her the plan, she doesn't put up much of a fight. She tells me she understands and that she'll go anywhere as long as we're together.

We're gone by the time dawn breaks the next morning. I keep telling myself that I'm doing this to protect my sister and myself.

But I know deep down that what I'm really doing is running away.