9. Piper

9

PIPER

I rush around the house, my heart pounding in my chest. I'm in shock over my behavior—sleeping with Elio. I'm terrified of what will happen if Gabriel finds out.

I strip the sheets from the bed and toss them in the laundry. I yank open the windows to let in fresh air, desperate to erase any lingering scent of Elio. Once I'm sure I've disposed of any hint of Elio's visit, I resume the job Gabriel has tasked me with. My hands tremble as I sort through the piles of boxes, unpacking them with frenzied movements. I can't seem to settle my nerves. The guilt and shame are overwhelming, and at the same time, those few moments with Elio, feeling like I was the center of the world… I can't quite regret them.

For a moment, I get lost replaying the passionate encounter with Elio. The way he pulled me into his arms, the tenderness in his touch, the burning desire in his eyes. It's been so long since I felt any of that. Elio was always so kind, so loving. Gabriel, on the other hand, is a volatile, controlling man who makes me live in constant fear.

Gabriel is my husband. I made a vow. I made my proverbial bed, and now I have to lie in it, which means getting the house sorted. I'm in a battle with the clock. If I don't make progress on the house, Gabriel will wonder what I was up to. So I work quickly, hoping he doesn't notice how all our stuff looks like it was put away in a rush.

Late afternoon, I go to the kitchen and prepare lasagna. Once I get it into the oven, I resume unpacking. Just as I finish the last box of books in the family room, the front door opens.

My nerves shake, but I paste on a warm smile to greet Gabriel and Elysse. I hurry to the foyer.

"Welcome home." I hope I'm cheerful without looking like I'm overdoing it. Gabriel notices the most subtle changes in everything.

Gabriel smiles, giving me a kiss on the cheek. I let out a small breath of relief. He's still in a good mood. I know that can change any minute, so I'm still on my guard.

"I got a smiley face on my spelling, Mommy." Elysse holds up a paper to show me her accomplishment as Gabriel hangs up his coat.

"That's wonderful, sweetie. How was your practice today?"

She shrugs. "Good. What's for dinner?"

"Lasagna."

Gabriel sniffs the air. "Is something burning?"

I freeze, my mind racing. "Oh, no." I rush to the kitchen as I realize in horror that I forgot the lasagna in the oven. The acrid smell of burnt food fills the air. Immediately, I'm chastising myself for forgetting to turn on the timer, for not checking on the lasagna sooner.

Pulling open the oven, I wince at the sight of the blackened, charred mess. "No, no, no." Panic is growing as I use potholders to remove the lasagna from the oven.

"I hope that's not dinner."

I don't have to look at him to know his good mood is a thing of the past. It's evident in his tone.

I don't want to look at him, but he feels disrespected if I don't. I turn to him. "I'm so sorry. I got distracted and lost track of the time."

His expression darkens, the anger building like a storm in his eyes. "Distracted, huh?" he sneers. "Is that what you call it?"

Before I can react, his hand lashes out, striking me hard across the face. The force of the blow sends me reeling, and I stumble backward, colliding with the kitchen counter.

"You useless, incompetent woman!" he roars, towering over me. "Can't you do anything right?"

Cowering, I raise my hands to shield myself, but it's no use. His hand lands another blow. Pain explodes in my skull, and I cry out as I fall to the ground.

"Mommy!"

I want to protect Elysse, but Gabriel is standing over me, fury in his eyes. His hands ball into fists. "You don't do shit all day. Why is it too much to expect a home cooked meal when I get home?"

"I was unpacking." My voice trembles. "I lost track of time?—"

"You're worthless, you know that?" His foot kicks out, catching me in my side.

"Stop it!" Elysse's terrified scream pierces the air. My heart leaps into my throat as she launches herself at him, her small fists pounding against his leg. "Leave Mommy alone!"

Gabriel whirls on her, his hand raised mid-strike.

"No!" I reach up and grab his arm to prevent him from hurting her. "It's my fault." I glance at Elysse. "Go to your room, sweetie."

Her expression is torn.

"Gabriel." I say his name, wanting to pull his attention back to me. "I'll be better, I promise. Just… don't hurt her. Please, don't hurt my baby."

The desperation in my voice seems to give him pause, and he glares at me, his chest heaving with rage.

"You'd better not mess this up again, Piper," he growls, his fingers flexing as if he's still considering lashing out. "I'm going out." He sucks in a breath and straightens his tie. "Don't think of leaving or your brat will pay. Do you understand?"

I'm still on the floor as I nod. "Yes. I understand."

With that, he turns on his heel and stalks out of the kitchen, slamming the front door behind him. I slowly climb up from the floor. Elysse rushes into my arms, her small body shaking with sobs.

"Shh, it's okay, baby," I murmur, holding her tight and pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "He's gone now. You're safe."

I know, though, that the respite is only temporary. Gabriel will be back, and I dread the moment when he returns, knowing that he'll likely be in an even worse mood, especially if he's been drinking. If I'm lucky, he'll find comfort in the arms of another woman and won't return tonight at all.

Tears sting my eyes as I hold Elysse. I hate myself for not having the courage to simply pack us up and run. I would if his threat wasn't always directed at Elysse. He knows the way to control me is through her.

I take a deep, shuddering breath, trying to steady my own emotions. I need to be strong for Elysse's sake. She's looking to me for comfort, for guidance, and I can't let her down. Not again. We can't continue living this way. The fear, the abuse, the constant walking on eggshells—it has to end. Elysse deserves so much more than this. We both do.

My heart pounds in my chest as I consider my options. I know I need to find a way out, for Elysse's sake.

"He hurt you again."

"I'm so sorry, baby," I whisper, my voice thick with emotion. "I'm going to make this right, I promise."

I think of Elio.

I'm going to make you happy, Piper. I promise.

For a moment, I think about calling him and asking for his help. But how can I? Elio's sort of help could lead to murder, and I don't want to be a party to that. I don't know the specifics of how Mafia families and businesses run, but I know there is a great deal of risk. What's that saying about jumping from the frying pan into the fire? That's what asking for his help would involve, moving from one dangerous situation to another.

I hold Elysse close, vowing to find a way to break free, no matter what. It's time for me to be the protector. I can't expect a man or anyone to save me, to save Elysse. That's my job.

"Let me fix us some dinner, okay?"

She sniffs. "Okay."

A few minutes later, I have pasta and cheese on the table. "Tell me about school." I work to make my voice light, but Elysse isn't having any of it. She pokes at her food. It won't be long before she sees me for what I am and resents me. I'm a coward.

After dinner, I clean up the kitchen and air out the burnt smell. Because Elysse has withdrawn and won't talk to me, I turn on a movie and we sit together watching it until her bedtime.

Once she's asleep, I go to the bathroom in my room. I look at the woman in the mirror. The woman I've become. I'm worn down. Weary. A dark bruise mars my cheek. I've come to learn it's one reason Gabriel doesn't want me to leave the house. He doesn't want anyone to see the evidence on me that he's a monster.

What am I teaching my daughter? The idea that someone would do this to Elysse guts me. Yet here I am, the model of succumbing to domestic abuse.

I find my phone and open my web browser. I start to enter a search term to find shelters or services to help me. But I only have two letters entered when I consider that Gabriel often checks my phone. The image of Gabriel, his hand ready to strike Elysse, flashes in my mind. His threat to harm her if I try to leave…

I set my phone down, and my soul cries out at my cowardice.