8. Ember

8

EMBER

"Y ou can berate me later. Let me see the spell." I held out my hand, and Ash's jaw ticked. "You can text it to me if you want, but I'd rather you not send a spell punishable by death through the cloud."

She slammed the phone into my hand.

"Your sister is angry with you."

"No shit." I tossed Shade the keys and climbed into the passenger seat. My team loaded up, and I studied the pictures Ash had taken of the phoenix spell. "Wolfsbane, hyssop…ground bone. Tell me we don't have to sacrifice an animal to pull this off."

"A life for a life. It sounds reasonable."

"Look at the second photo," Ash said. "We need demon bones."

I swiped to the next picture. "‘Bones must be of the same or adjacent species you wish to resurrect.' Fabulous. How are we supposed to harvest bones when demons go poof the second we vanquish them?"

"We'll have to keep one alive." Shade started the van and pulled onto the road. "Put it in a containment circle and harvest a limb before we send it back to Hell."

I cringed. "That sounds barbaric."

"You could exorcize me. I'll possess Adrian and burn through him, solving two problems at once."

"Absolutely not. I already told you that's not an option. You've got enough ego on your own; you don't need to absorb his too."

"Let me guess," Chaos said. "He's suggesting he take the High Priest as a host."

"Bingo. But it's not going to happen."

"It's not the worst idea," Ash said. "If we could take over BSM, we could exile the dark witches and stop looking over our shoulders every time we leave the house."

Surely my sweet little sister didn't mean that. I twisted in my seat to see her face, but she looked as serious as could be.

"That's a hard no." I flashed her a WTF look. "We only kill in self-defense, and even then…only if it's absolutely necessary."

"I can arrange for your self-defense to be necessary. Let's return to Boston, and I'll ?—"

"Stop it. Both of you. We'll do it like Shade suggested, unless…" I drummed my fingers on my knee. "Chaos, can you regenerate limbs? Maybe if we cut off your finger…"

"Only when I return to Hell." He rested his hand on Ash's thigh. "But I will do whatever it takes to save her."

"Notice his only concern is her. He'd allow me to rot in prison for eternity if her life wasn't on the line."

I rolled my eyes. "It's one finger. I'm sure he'd do it just for you."

"He would not."

"Chaos, would you give up your left pinkie to keep Mayhem out of the dark prison, even if Ash wasn't in danger?"

He missed a beat…two…three. "I believe I would. He has suffered long enough."

"There. See? Your brother loves you." I handed the phone to Ash. "Next steps… How much time do I have with you in my mind? Can we sleep tonight and get started tomorrow without you taking over?"

"Yes, I believe so."

"Good. We all go home and rest. In the morning, Chaos will cut off a finger, and Ash and I will perform the phoenix and exorcism spells. I want you guys to scry for the rest of the amulet while we do our thing, but don't try to retrieve it without us. Understood?"

"Got it," Miles said.

Shade shifted in his seat. "We can help you with the spells. The more power we put into them, the better."

"Not a chance," I said. "I don't want you anywhere near the phoenix. If the Higher Power somehow finds out we performed it, we could be executed. I won't put you in that position."

He blew a hard breath through his nose. "We'll be putting ourselves in that position. It's our choice to help our friends."

"And it's my choice as your High Priestess to say hell no. You're scrying. We're breaking the laws of witchcraft. Got it?"

His mouth pinched, and he gave me the side eye before focusing on the road. "Yeah."

We parked behind the building, and Shade went with Miles to his place. I kicked off my boots the moment we stepped through the upstairs door and set them against the wall before grabbing a can of sparkling water from the fridge and gulping it down.

"We need to talk." Ash sank onto a stool at the counter.

Chaos rested a hand on her shoulder. "I'm going to shower." He kissed the top of her head and strode out of the kitchen, leaving me alone to face my sister's wrath.

"What did I do wrong this time?" I tossed the empty can into the recycle bin.

"Absolutely nothing."

Okay, not completely alone. "I think so too, but Ash disagrees." I leaned against the counter and crossed my arms.

She folded her hands in front of her. "Your ego put everyone in danger today."

I raised my brows. " My ego? Adrian's the one who tried to stop me from vanquishing the alastor demon just so he could prove a point."

"And you weren't trying to prove one?" She tilted her head in the same condescending way Mom would whenever I acted out.

My nails dug into my biceps. "He insulted me. He said I wasn't a real witch, so yeah, I had to prove him wrong. You'd have done the same."

"No, Em. You didn't have to prove anything." She straightened, crossing her arms. "But you insisted on killing them both by yourself just so you could outshine a dark witch whose opinion doesn't matter."

"But he…" I ground my teeth. "He challenged my authority…my abilities. I had to… And Mayhem was?—"

"No." She leaned her forearms on the counter. "Don't even try to blame him. I've seen how his magic affects you, and you acted the opposite. Your behavior today was all you, and it was not okay."

"Don't listen to her. Adrian challenged you, and you had to prove you weren't a coward."

"We are a team," she said, "and you alienated us when you told Shade not to kill the fae. How do you expect the witches of this coven to respect you when you act like that? You stooped to Adrian's level, and it was ugly, Em. So ugly."

"I…" The defensive tension drawing my shoulders toward my ears relaxed, and I let out a slow breath. She was right. I'd gotten so caught up trying to put the asshole in his place that I'd cast my team aside. And for what? To prove myself to a narcissist? I knew better.

I nodded, closing my eyes against the pressure building behind them. "I'm sorry."

"For what? You did nothing wrong."

"Yeah, I did. I put myself…my ego…first. I did the one thing that annoys me the most in other people. I acted alone when I should have depended on my team."

"You lost track of the mission."

"I did, and I'm sorry. It won't happen again." I laughed. "I'm not used to getting called out on my bullshit by anyone other than Mom. Why haven't you done it more often?"

Ash shrugged and traced her finger on the counter. "With my defective magic, I always felt like the outsider. I idolized you for your bravery and fighting skills, but I never thought we had much in common. I guess we never sat down and had a real conversation."

My throat thickened, my fight-or-flight instinct begging me to walk away before I showed vulnerability, but I fought it. This could be a moment for us if I could get out of my own way and let it happen.

"I guess I don't have real conversations with anyone. Showing emotion in battle can get you killed, and… I don't know what's wrong with me." The pressure in my eyes threatened to come out in liquid form.

"There's nothing wrong with you. Everyone's brains are wired differently."

"Absolutely nothing is wrong with you. You are a goddess."

I laughed, and a tear slid down my cheek. "I've always been envious of your relationship with Cinder. I've secretly wanted to be your confidant since you learned how to talk. But I was the one who needed to learn. I just… Goddess, I don't know. What good are words when I can't even string them together in the right order?"

Her brow furrowed, her eyes holding sympathy. "Cinder has always been easy to talk to, so I confided in her out of habit. I'm sorry I didn't try very hard to talk to you."

"You shouldn't have had to." Another tear fell, and I wiped it away. "I'm so sorry, Ash. I'm sorry for never being there for you. For never truly listening."

She rose and wrapped her arms around me. "You're here now. That's what counts."

I sniffled and held her tight. "Yeah. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere. I love you, Ash."

She pulled away, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "I love you too."

"We're going to get through this. Whatever it takes, I am… we are…going to end this curse and set everything right again."

"Or die trying." She smiled sadly and inhaled a shaky breath. "See you in the morning?"

I nodded and wiped the moisture from my cheeks.

"Good night, Em."

"Night." I stayed in the kitchen and watched her walk away. When she disappeared into her bedroom, I double-checked the wards and turned off the lights before heading to mine.

I showered and put on my pajamas in silence. My chest was still tight, my throat thick from our conversation, but the rest of me felt lighter, like a weight had been lifted from my soul. I snuggled into bed, lying on my side and pulling the blankets up to my chin.

"You've been awfully quiet," I said.

"What would you like me to say?"

"Anything. You just witnessed the deepest conversation I've had in my entire life. Don't you have a snide remark about me showing weakness?"

He remained silent for so long, I almost fell asleep. "Your discussion moved me. Your emotions were familiar yet foreign at the same time, and I don't believe you showed any weakness at all. I found your confession brave and inspiring."

A smile tugged at my lips. "You think?"

"The more I get to know you, the more convinced I am that we are destined for each other. You make me feel…whole."

"Well, you make me feel like a crazy person talking to herself." I clamped my mouth shut. I'd had a sister bonding moment with Ash, and that was enough feelings talk for one day. Because I honestly had no idea how I felt about Mayhem.

Okay, that was a lie. I did know how I felt…or how I was beginning to feel…and I wasn't anywhere near ready to unpack all that. Hecate, have mercy.

"Goodnight, Your Royal Pain In My Assness."

His chuckle reverberated in my soul. "Good night, sweet witch."

I slept blissfully dream-free, letting my subconscious process the day so my conscious mind didn't have to. I might not have woken until the afternoon if the sound of shattering glass hadn't yanked me into the land of the living.

I sat up and peered out the window at the back alley, where an imp was using my van as a trampoline. "Oh, for Satan's sake. Chaos!"

I marched out of my bedroom to find Ash and her demon having breakfast. "Come outside and get your minion under control so I can vanquish him. The effing little bugger shattered my windshield."

I grabbed a butcher knife from the block and rushed down the stairs, not bothering with a jacket or shoes. Chaos and Ash followed, and when we exited the building, the imp yanked off a windshield wiper, gnawing on it like it was a chew toy.

Tiny pebbles in the pavement cut into my bare feet as I paced toward the van, and my arm hairs stood on end as if they could shield me from the cold.

"Stop," Chaos said, and the bastard dropped the wiper to stand at attention for his master.

"Where's the rift?" I adjusted my grip on the knife.

"I don't sense one close by. He must have come through in another area and found his way here, attracted to our auras."

"Good. That means I can vanquish the destructive dickwad." I lifted the knife like Norman Bates, ready to go Psycho on the slimy sucker when Ash stumbled.

"Ow! Crap. I stepped on glass."

Chaos, ever the protective boyfriend, diverted his full attention to my sister's bloody foot, losing control of his minion.

The imp took a flying leap at my face.