Chapter 14

Caitlyn

After three weeks of nonstop training, dieting, and fussing, Caitlyn needed a night off. Preferably with alcohol.

Of course, Izzy didn't think much of the alcohol part – because it had calories, ahem – but Christine was on board as soon as she heard they were heading to a tavern in town.

"Here's to getting back in the saddle, hon!" Christine kicked off the round of beers as a Kenny Chesney song blasted over the speakers. All around them, locals and vacationers alike ate dinner, drank with buddies, and likened themselves to side-stepping superstars as they simultaneously watched football and Dancing With the Stars on the screens above the bar.

After the trio of women clanked their beers together, Caitlyn inhaled the jalapeno poppers she had ordered. So. Good. That wasn't merely the clean diet she had for the past three weeks talking. There was something about "hometown Iowa" that really hit the spot when it came to bar food. It's the lard. Let's be real. Nobody was air-frying anything in that kitchen, God bless them.

She recognized Izzy's stink eye and decided to ignore it. The Caitlyn of thirty-six was a far cry from the one who took everything her coach said to heart.

"If they ask me during the interview what I think of modern diets…" Caitlyn held up a barbecue chicken wing, admiring the juice dripping off the skin before taking a bite. Her mother was right behind her, lauding the cooking at this humble small-town tavern as "Just as good as my grandma used to make!" "I'm going to tell them that I don't give a fuck what we're eating as long as it tastes good. Take forever chemicals, for instance…" That part was for Izzy, who had been grilling Caitlyn on political questions that may or may not come up during the interview process. "They're in everything!" She drank beer as if it were her nightly beverage of choice. Definitely not an IPA. It was a national brand that advertised on TV and took out Superbowl commercials. The kind of brand that nobody would be caught dead drinking back in her current home in New England. "What is the damn point of personal responsibility with one's diet when everything is full of crap that's going to give us cancer anyway?"

"Cait…" Izzy said with a saccharin level of sweetness that only proved Caitlyn's point, "Please, for the love of the crown we want you to win, do not say that on stage."

"Kids are fat because food tastes good." Caitlyn slammed down her beer and jiggled a half-eaten chicken wing in front of her coach. "I said what I said. Ain't that right, Mom?"

"You were a very healthy eater as a child," Christine said as she delicately pulled apart her chicken with the help of a fork and a napkin. "She was the biggest fan of my meatloaf and my no-bake cookies. Sometimes I would do both in one night to cheer her up."

"Still haven't had any of your dank meatloaf, Mom."

Izzy looked like she was on the verge of having a stroke. "Do not say ‘dank,' either. Or I will kill you."

"I think she'll do it, too," Christine said. "She's been looking for reasons to kill you since she got to Iowa."

Izzy knocked an ant off her hand while her face twisted in disgust. "This state is cursed!"

"We're a bunch of bored hawkeyes trying to make the most out of life. Food is what we got. Welcome to the corn capital of America." Caitlyn was already thinking about the next beer she wanted to try. I'll make it a Light for you, Izzy. "Actually, I think we're technically the pork capital."

"We should get ribs next time," Christine said. "Pork's cheap."

Izzy sighed, but it didn't stop her from drinking beer. Then again, she'd say it's because she's not the one going on stage, so she can eat and drink whatever she wants! At least Izzy was a coach who showed solidarity. Anything that sucked that her clients went through, she did as well – from bland diets to personal training and abstaining from alcohol.

Still didn't stop Caitlyn from giving her a hard time this far into her training in Iowa.

"It's too bad Becca isn't here yet," Christine said, interrupting her daughter's thoughts. "She would love this place."

"She'll love getting to wear a T-shirt every day while she's here." And getting to sleep with me every night. Caitlyn knew that Rebecca must be getting bored of Jane's snoring and early morning twitching. Why did Jane think Caitlyn insisted on having separate rooms when they got back together after their divorce? "And pajama bottoms. You can't tell by looking at her, but she would walk around in pajama bottoms all day if she could get away with it."

"Oh, honey, wouldn't we all?"

While Caitlyn laughed it up with her mother, Izzy stared at them as if she had landed on another planet. "Hey, waiter?" she said, sticking up her finger to get someone's attention. "Another round of three beers, please."

Caitlyn clapped her barbecue-covered hands together. "That's the spirit, Iz. Let's get good and buzzed."

Christine didn't drink anymore, but Caitlyn and Izzy split her round of beer so they were too drunk to drive home without Christine behind the wheel. While Izzy dragged herself to bed – lightweight that she was – Caitlyn hugged her mother while singing her praises and exclaiming that she couldn't wait to get on stage and say fuck on national TV.

"Oh, honey." Christine patted her daughter's shoulders. "No, you won't. You're drunk right now."

She wasn't as drunk as Christine thought, but Caitlyn played along, happy to let loose for the first time in what felt like much too long. After sobering up some more with water and an episode of her favorite show that year, she followed her mother to the back of the house where they went their separate ways to bed.

The night still felt young, though. Caitlyn confirmed that Izzy was out before locking herself in her bedroom and deciding to take a bath.

Did anyone think I'd buy a vacation home without a badass bathtub? This one didn't have the jets like the one back in New England, but it was big enough to drown in if she wasn't careful. Good thing I'm not actually drunk. Staying on the safe side, she only filled up the tub about ? of the way she liked it, sprinkling in some bubble bath and securely wrapping her hair on top of her head before taking off her clothes and stepping in. The hot water was exactly what she needed.

Instead of her usual book, she had brought her phone with her. She took a few tasteful selfies with her in the bubble bath before sending them to the group chat she shared with Jane and Rebecca. When neither of them responded within the next few minutes, Caitlyn took matters into her own hands.

Are they asleep? It was only an hour ahead back in New England. What had happened that day to knock them out by ten?

"You are lucky I bloody love you!" Jane finally answered her phone, spitting the kind of nighttime fire that made Caitlyn roll her eyes. "Because I am busy!"

"Uh-huh." The water was slightly displaced as Caitlyn shifted the way she sat. Her phone was perched between her chin and shoulder, focus divided between grabbing her washcloth and listening to Jane's heavy breathing on the other end of the line. "How busy is Becca?"

"If you would like, I could put her on for you. But you are correct, Cait, she is busy!"

"Yeah, I'm busy!" said Rebecca in the distance.

"Let me guess." Caitlyn flicked a drop of bathwater off her chest. "You guys are getting it on without me."

Jane couldn't sound more put out if she damn well tried. "What gave it away, huh? Impeccable timing, love. I was about to treat our Becca to five inches of bliss over here! A squeal of surprise in the distance could have been Jane stimulating their dear Becca, or it could have been Becca acting shy that someone wanted her to themselves. No, definitely not the latter. Rebecca was the least shy person since becoming embroiled in Jane and Caitlyn's games five years ago. "Do you have a sensor to figure out when we are about to shag, love?"

"Five inches? Since when do you use the imperial system?"

"That is what the package says, therefore that is the unit of measurement I apply to my strap-on, Cait."

"Hmph, fuck me for interrupting your happy couple time, I suppose. Meanwhile, I am naked in the bath. How does that make you feel, Lin?"

"How does it make me feel? Bloody randy!"

A thump indicated that the phone was either dropped or passed between hands. The mystery was solved when Rebecca's voice came through, husky but clear. "Normally I wouldn't tell you to hang up," she said, half-breathless, "but I was about to get this shit out of my system."

Jane's voice echoed in the distance. "That's right! She is the one who asked me to do it! Was honest to God begging for it when we finally had time to ourselves!"

"I apologize," Caitlyn said. "I had no idea that I was calling in the middle of you getting some, Becca. You know I'd help if I was there." Ugh, wasn't that the truth! Caitlyn had been missing her partners those past two weeks. Sure, Rebecca would be flying in at the start of next week, but it wasn't the same as soothing the lonely burn now. Damn, if Caitlyn had some forethought, she would have brought the vibrator she packed with her into the bathroom. Not that she should be using it in the tub…

What a dilemma!

The phone was back in Jane's hand. "Here is the conundrum, love," she said. "She is naked. I am mostly naked. She is lying spread out on my bed like a gorgeous gift from the heavens, and someone has called to interrupt us."

"Not on purpose."

"But you still did. Also, my strap-on is dry. Why? I could have pleasured her by now."

"What's stopping you right now?"

"Some naked wife of mine in the middle of God-knows-where America. Just remember, Cait, you are the one who buggered off!"

"Tell Rebecca I'm sorry. But I'm not sorry about you and your sad strap-on that isn't getting any action at the moment. Sometimes delayed gratification is good for you."

"To hell with your delayed gratification! This is Becca we're talking about! You know, the one I've already revved up with a good sik ho sai before you called!"

Caitlyn only vaguely recalled that sik ho sai was some recent colloquialism for cunnilingus, and she only knew because she had been living in Hong Kong when someone on social media accidentally said that instead of "sik ho dung sai" which meant eating delicious things. I didn't see the difference, personally.

"I missed you eating her out? Rude."

"Oh, you should have heard her, Cait. ‘Please, Jane, I need it so bad.'" Her impression of Rebecca was so far off the mark that Caitlyn couldn't help but laugh. Mostly because she was completely incapable of mocking an American accent without it sounding like a British girl had suddenly forgotten how to speak. "Give it to me, Jane, my pussy is so empty without you.'"

Caitlyn snorted. "Hearing you say the word ‘pussy' is always a trip."

"Would you prefer I say what I'm thinking in my head?"

"I'd prefer you get on with whatever you were doing to our dear Becca."

She briefly worried that the pause on the phone was a sign that she had been disconnected. Yet when Jane came back on, it was like the night opened before Caitlyn, ready to embrace her before she turned to the world of sleep.

"Do you want to listen in?" There it was, the toying, coquettish tone that only Jane Wong could inflict upon Caitlyn. Reminds me of the old times, all right. "Because that can be arranged. The kid is out of the house tonight, so we can be as loud as we want."

"Oh, where is she?"

"Don't you worry about that, love. Here, I'll have Becca tell you what's on her mind."

Caitlyn wiped an eyelash off her face, leaving behind a trail of bathwater that was already pruning her hand. "Sounds like things are quite interesting over there."

That was Rebecca's gasp on the phone. "She keeps touching my nipples!"

"Yes, she does that. Real nipple connoisseur, she is."

"Did you have to call right now?"

Caitlyn recognized that desperation in Rebecca's voice. She only got screechy and mouthy like that when she was on the Denial Train to Climax City. Our wonderful Rebecca, always the paragon of patience and kindness… until sex is on the table. Sometimes literally! Nothing got Rebecca revved up like an army tank like a quickie on the table.

In bed? She was downright bratty if things weren't moving at her preferred pace.

"I've gotta go!" Rebecca gasped into Jane's phone. "This is really important!"

Jane reclaimed her phone. "Did you hear that? This is important."

"My apologies for being the absolute worst with even worse timing."

"Like I said, Cait, you can listen in. Should only take about five minutes."

Caitlyn wanted to ask "Do I even have a choice?" Except of course she did. She could hang up and call back in fifteen minutes. Would definitely give me time to go get in bed and grab my vibrator… Now there was a thought. Except she knew how Jane and Rebecca were after they were done with their quick but intense frolics in bed. Out like two blown-out candles. Hmph.

Guess I'm listening.

The phone must have been thrown down onto the bed because everything Caitlyn heard sounded like it was a mile away, just grunts, gasps, and groans. Maybe I should hang up after all. What was the point if Caitlyn couldn't hear the good parts? She was better off watching porn if that were her thing.

Then…

"That's it! Oh, fuck, yes!"

Caitlyn's brows arched across her forehead. "Don't mind if I do," she said while holding her phone to her ear with one hand and scooping up bubbles from her bath with the other. Once she had a good handful, she blew them to the other side of the tub. It was a game she could play until every bubble died.

Just like Rebecca was apparently dying – and going straight to heaven.

"Louder…" Jane commanded in the distance. "Make your other Mistress hear you."

Aw, so sweet! She thought of me! Caitlyn blew more bubbles, this time off her curling knuckles. Once she was satisfied with getting the most out of her bath, she sank deeper into the hot water, closing her eyes and savoring the sweet sounds of entertainment.

"Yes! Thank you!" Rebecca cried out louder than before, her moans of gratitude only matched by the harried breaths that probably belonged to Jane. Thrusting like her life depended on it. Caitlyn always meant to ask her wife what it was like fucking someone like Rebecca, who barely had any thighs, with a strap-on versus giving it to Caitlyn. She'd probably say something like "Oh, it's more difficult, love, but very, very rewarding! Besides, I've had more practice with you." Ugh. Which only reminded Caitlyn how long it had been since she crawled into Jane's bed or vice versa. The three of them had sex the night before Caitlyn departed for Iowa, but it amounted to staying quiet in Jane's shower so someone else wouldn't accidentally overhear them. Must be nice to have her out of the house so they can be raunchy and loud. Caitlyn already missed that freedom, but such was life.

"Three…" Caitlyn counted down while the bed squeaking continued. "Two…"

She must have started counting too late, for she immediately heard, "I'm coming! Fuck, I'm coming!" Or maybe Jane was that good that night.

Caitlyn glanced down at her chest. Oooh, nice. Her nipples were hard enough to dent the wall. Best not to turn around, I guess. She had a feeling the rest of her was excited too, but it was difficult to tell in the bathtub, where she was supposed to be relaxing. Not getting all revved up for some fun of my own. Would it be gauche to touch herself and find out?

Ah, fuck that. She was too distracted.

"Oh, so sorry." Jane almost sounded Canadian when she emphasized those double Rs. "Did it slip? You'll live, love."

Caitlyn sputtered in unexpected laughter. You did that on purpose, Lin. Torture the poor thing, why don't you? Either that or Jane needed more breathers as she got older.

"What's that?" Jane continued. "I cannot hear you when you mumble like that, Becca."

"I said fuck me, damnit!"

Caitlyn held the phone away from her ear. Goddamn. Rebecca must have been on the brink of more madness than Caitlyn anticipated. This calls for some participation on my part. Maybe neither of her partners could see or hear what she was doing, but that wouldn't stop her from imagining that she was there with them, lying on the edge of the bed and watching this precious event unfold.

Namely, Jane being an utter troll in bed.

"What do you think?" Jane said directly into her phone. "Should I finish her off? Or make her do it herself?"

"Come on, Lin, it's rude to leave a girl hanging for too long. Haven't I taught you any manners since we met?"

The moment Caitlyn stopped speaking, her phone buzzed with an incoming text message. "Did you send me something?"

"Take a look at that while I'm at work here."

Caitlyn was almost afraid to look, if only because they had very strict rules about nudes and sex-selfies in the group chat, in case they were ever hacked or someone lost their minds and went rogue on the other two. Only Rebecca is allowed to post anything scandalous. She had the least to lose, so it was up to her what she wanted out there.

Jane must have gotten permission because that was a very lascivious photo of Rebecca on Caitlyn's screen.

"Oh. My." She brought it closer to her face in case she missed any details. Nope. That's what she looks like during sex, all right. Glazed over eyes, mouth open, cheeks flushed red and hair a mess beneath her head. The fact Jane thought to include Rebecca hurriedly covering her chest with her hands with ice cream in the punch.

"Imagine you were me right now," Jane haughtily said into her phone. Then, in Mandarin, "Touxiang qieyu, as we used to say."

She referred to the early days of Caitlyn living in Hong Kong, learning Cantonese and Mandarin simultaneously. Of course, some of the first things that stuck besides pleasantries and how to hail a cab had to do with sex. Like stolen scent and pilfered jade. That was how Jane described their sex life shortly after their marriage. They were so busy building their business, dealing with family, and dealing with Caitlyn's culture shock that most of their lovemaking was done when they could steal a moment to themselves. It was how we got comfortable doing it at the office when nobody would interfere… Who said they would have time at home? Preposterous.

Caitlyn didn't know if this reference was to flirt with her or to imply that this stolen moment while the teenager was out of the house was Jane's to enjoy. Caitlyn didn't care. She was still tipsy enough on cheap beer that she thought it the sweetest thing ever.

"Would you please make that poor woman come?" Caitlyn sighed, removing her hand from between her legs. "Otherwise, how can I in this tub?"

"I knew it. You dirty girl. Should I send you a livestream?"

"No!" Rebecca shouted in the background, albeit with a heavy laugh in her throat.

"The sweet, dulcet tones of her moaning shall suffice, Jane."

"Mmhmm. It's your call."

"Oh, do me one favor, though."

"Anything for you, airen."

Stop flattering me and get back to work already! "Do that thing where you put her feet over your shoulders. I know you always forget when you're in the moment, but you know she goes nuts for that."

"Right, right." Jane was still speaking in Mandarin, probably to keep Rebecca out of the conspiracies. She was taking Cantonese lessons, but there was no way Rebecca understood most of the Mandarin Jane spoke when she wanted something to be more private between her and Caitlyn. "Deeper penetration. Don't worry." She switched back to English. "I will ensure she makes that sound where you worry she might be hyperventilating after running from a tiger."

"It's inevitable at this point."

Caitlyn readjusted her posture, bathwater rising toward the rim of the tub as she attempted to get into the zone without dropping her phone. Of all the times to not have my Bluetooth… This was safer though! Bluetooth might disconnect, and then Rebecca's moans would be heard throughout the house!

Because those were some mighty fine moans.

"Don't stop!" Jane must have left the phone closer to Rebecca's head because she was loud enough that Caitlyn had to hold her phone away from her ear before she went deaf. "Yes!"

It didn't take much longer for Rebecca to wail in the kind of pleasure that Caitlyn wished she could witness in real life. She held back worrying about what her other hand was doing and instead plotted how she would claim Rebecca for herself once she was in Iowa. Yeah, don't think you're getting away with this, Jane. Caitlyn had plans for her too. Starting with when someone was back on the phone with her.

"How was that?" The more Jane talked that night, the more she got. Yes, definitely have plans for you. Caitlyn wiped the back of her neck with bathwater, careful to avoid touching her chest with the washcloth. "I let her come this time."

"And how are you doing, Lin?"

"I'm bloody brilliant. Shagging our Becca is one of life's greatest pleasures."

"You said it first."

"Fucking hell I did. You want to talk to her?"

"Is she in any position to be speaking to me on the phone?"

"She's definitely in a position if you know what I mean. Anyway, I need to run to the loo. Here she is."

Caitlyn suffered through the phone fumbling between hands. She pulled the drain on the bathwater before hearing Rebecca say, "Wish you were here."

"I know, honey." Caitlyn had to speak louder to be heard over the draining water. "I've got a couple of really important things to tell you before she gets back from the bathroom."

Rebecca sighed, content. "What?"

"First, this picture she sent me is radiant. You are the pinnacle of beauty. I hope you know that."

"She had just fucked me with a strap-on and didn't finish the damn job."

"Yes, I know, but that makes it hotter."

"God."

"Yes, yes." Caitlyn hoped that Rebecca couldn't hear her other girlfriend grinning. "Now, when she gets back, I need you ready for round two. This is really important."

Rebecca smacked something against her forehead. "I can barely move right now."

"Do it for me. Pleaaaase."

"Fine. What do you want me to do?"

Caitlyn stood up, grabbing her towel off its rack by the tub. "Find the strength to make her eat that pillow, please. Oh, and put the phone right next to her head. I wanna hear it."

"She only goes for that when you're here and it's the three of us."

"Am I not there?"

"I guess…" Rebecca chuckled. "Sorry, I've got the post-orgasm sillies."

"Perfect. Actually, I'm gonna hang up and go get in bed with my vibrator. Call me back. If necessary, I'll talk her into it. I think she'll like it!" I know I will…

"This is straight out of your diabolical mind, so yes, she would."

"If you get her good, I'll make sure you're very well rewarded when you get here."

"That changes everything."

Caitlyn hung up on her girlfriend, freeing her hand to dry off before diving into bed, naked, her hands rummaging through her carry-on bag for the handheld vibrator. She almost worried when Rebecca didn't call her back within ten minutes. Jane must be making a fuss. Either that, or she was taking her time in the bathroom, smugly enjoying the replay in her mind without suspecting that she was about to get it.

That only made Caitlyn more excited when the phone rang another five minutes later. "I swear to God, Cait," Jane's muffled voice said against a pillow. "The things I do for you."

Caitlyn didn't call her out on it, but she knew that Jane enjoyed this as much as her wife.