15. Melissa

Chapter fifteen

Melissa

I piddle around in the kitchen for as long as I can. But I can't put this off any longer. It's time to come clean to both of them. They need to know about my boy. About Harley. Is that even his name any longer? When I gave him up, one of the conditions was he was to keep the name I gave him. It was my small way of trying to stay a part of his life, even when I wasn't. I couldn't be, not if I wanted to keep him safe.

Now, I've failed to do that. If he's found me, then he's found his father, and that will not end well for either of us.

I pick up the wine and three glasses and head back to the living room, stopping just before I cross the threshold.

What the hell am I thinking?

I set one of the glasses down on the counter and step over to the refrigerator, opening it, letting out a sigh of relief at the four remaining bottles in the six-pack sitting on the bottom shelf, a remnant of one of the nights Ashlynn and her men came over to repair my kitchen sink. Earl doesn't drink wine, but he does love a good Bud Light. Jax, on the other hand, is a mystery as to what he drinks.

"Mel, baby, you need some help?" Earl's country twanged voice echoes from the living room, no doubt growing impatient.

"No, I'm coming." I use my hip, since my hands are now full and shut the refrigerator door. Time to get this shit over with and spill the beans.

As I step into the living room, I can feel the heat of four eyes burning through me, setting me on fire. Looking up, the intensity of their stares makes my heart race and my palms sweat, making it difficult to not only concentrate, but to keep my grasp on the objects in my hands.

"Let me take some of that." Jax jumps up, taking the glasses and bottle of wine, while I hand one of the beers to Earl and place the other one on the coffee table.

"Thank you," my voice trembles as I speak. I'm barely able to keep my composure. How the hell am I going to tell them my whole story?

I lower myself down slowly, sitting on the edge of the couch while I pull my throw blanket into my lap, embracing it like a life preserver. Jax opens the bottle of wine and pours me a glass while Earl keeps his eyes firmly on me. There's space between us, but he doesn't let it stay there long before he's sliding over closer to me, his legs brushing against mine as Jax takes the seat in the recliner facing us after handing me the drink he poured.

"Okay, Mels, it's time to tell us what's wrong so we can help you fix it. Who was that on the phone?" Jax purses his lips as he picks up the bottle of beer from the coffee table, twists off the top, and takes a sip.

"To tell you that, I'd have to tell you about my past. Earl knows most of it as he and the Hellions helped me when I moved here." I shift my gaze toward Earl, admitting to him for the first time that he doesn't know everything. "But I didn't tell you everything. I couldn't."

"Mel—" I place my finger over Earl's lips. I can't let him speak, not yet. If I do, I'll lose all courage to tell him everything else.

"No, I need both of you to let me finish saying what I need to, then you can talk."

"Fine, but we're going to talk about the three of us as well. It's time we admit neither the biker pussy nor myself are going to give you up, so it looks like we're Memphis' new poly couple."

"For once, I agree with the powder puff queen," Earl snipes back snarkily, earning an eye roll from Jax. God help me, but I don't know if the two of them will ever learn to act civilly with each other.

"I came here to Memphis to escape an abusive marriage. When I got here, I had nothing and was living on the streets. Earl found me and him and the Hellions helped me. They gave me the money to buy the diner and get it started. A new life and home." I look at Earl, placing my free hand on his knee, squeezing gently before taking a sip of my wine.

"I remember findin' you that day, listenin' to you spill your guts to me as the tears streamed down your beautiful face. You didn't treat me like a dirty biker like most of the people in this town. It was at that moment I knew I had to help you and I plead your case to my bastard father." Earl lowers his eyes and I know he hates that he went to his father for him to be able to help me. But if he hadn't, there's no telling where I would've been now.

"I've heard tales of your father, Earl. He was a fucking dick," Jax chimes in.

"That's one thing we can agree on, burger flipper." Jax shakes his head but doesn't come back with a childish name for him. Maybe he's not wanting to cause strife or perhaps he's learning what I'm suspecting, that Earl's unfavorable nicknames are more a way of bonding with him than picking on him.

"I met my husband when I was in high school and fell madly in love with him. He was a few years older, but Father liked him. Clayton held such charisma that he could make an atheist believe in God. He charmed my father, who gave him his blessing to marry me."

I pause, taking a deep breath. Lifting my glass to my lips, I empty it in one large gulp. I pick up the bottle and refill it before continuing. I contemplate for a moment whether I should empty the glass again or just take a swallow before the latter wins over.

"It wasn't until we went away to college that Clayton's true nature came out. No matter what I did, I couldn't make him happy. But somehow he always convinced me it was because of something lacking in me. He began to alienate me from my friends, keeping tabs on everything I did, even controlling how I dressed." I pick at the tiny fringe on the end of the blanket, not wanting to look at them to see the pity in their eyes. I've done so well standing up for myself since coming here. I hate that just thinking of Clayton turns me back into that fragile young woman I used to be.

"About eight months into our engagement, I decided I had enough and called my father, telling him I wanted to end my relationship with Clayton and come home. He tried to convince me to give him a chance until I told him how he was treating me. I thought it would end there, and I began packing my bags to go home. I didn't care about college. I was going to give it up if it meant getting away from Clayton."

"If you left, why did you go back to him?" Jax's deep voice cuts through the painful tension in the room. The question all people ask of a woman who stays in an abusive relationship. It's not an easy one to answer, either. Each victim of domestic violence has their own unique reason, none of them more insignificant than the other.

"My father never showed up to get me and with each passing minute, I became worried. My calls to him all went unanswered until eventually the calls went straight to voicemail. The next day, a cop showed up at my doorstep with Clayton to notify me that my parents had been killed in a car crash. It wasn't until after the cops left that Clayton cornered me, explaining how my father had called him about how he was treating me. He was infuriated that I had gone behind his back and was planning to leave." I choke on my own tears as memories of my father's deep voice fill my mind. I can still smell the oak cologne he wore and the smell of his tobacco on him. Smoking was his guilty pleasure, a habit he was never able to kick no matter how many times he tried.

"What happened next?" Jax asks. Earl stays silent, already knowing this part. It's what's coming that he has no clue about.

"He told me in detail about how he made the accident happen. That he was responsible for killing my parents and that he could do it to anyone, even me, if I tried to leave again. I was young, scared, and grieving. I believed everything he said. He packed up my bags and moved me to his father's home. We were wed the next day in a private ceremony and I never went back to school.

"I tried so hard to be everything he wanted, but failed. He became more involved in his father's business and began drinking. His anger was worse when he did that and he became abusive and violent and only in the most brutal of incidents did he take me to the hospital. He bounced around from hospital to hospital when the questions would become too intrusive until he took me to one run by the local church. It was there during a rare moment I was left unattended, that I met a nurse. One who saw what was happening and helped me when I needed it most."

I lift my glass to my lips and drink more. Earl places his hand on my thigh, squeezing gently in a sign of support. It isn't until I gaze at each of their hands do I notice they've abandoned their beers. The nearly full bottles are both sitting on the coffee table. When did that happen? Was it when I mentioned how belligerent Clayton became when drinking?

I don't have to worry about that right now, though; I need to finish this story before I clam up.

"Not long after we were married, I found out I was pregnant. Clayton was overjoyed, especially when he found out he was having a son. I was nineteen, married to the devil, and now I was pregnant. All I wanted to do was run far away. Once again, I got up the nerve to leave and packed a bag, planning to sneak away. What I wasn't expecting was to find him downstairs when he should have been at the office. He beat me. I was eight months pregnant and scared. He finally left me lying in a broken, bruised heap crying on the floor to go to work. I was in so much pain. When I managed to stand, there was blood dripping down my leg. I managed to call a cab to come and get me and went to the hospital. On the way, I checked to make sure my friend was working. I delivered my son, named him and gave him away to save him. My only request was that he keep the name I picked out."

"You had a baby. Why didn't you tell me, Mel? Bash never found a record of you havin' a son."

"I know he didn't. She made sure that all records of his birth and my pregnancy were destroyed. The only thing I had was a false death certificate that was never filed, that I gave to Clayton. Of course, in his eyes, it was my fault I lost the baby and not because of him beating the shit out of me."

"I could've found him and he could've been with you." Earl's voice is so tender and loving. How would it have been if he had been with me? Would Earl have been the father he should've had?

"Clayton kept trying after that to get me pregnant again, but I was on birth control and he never knew. A year after I gave away my baby, I escaped and came here. Thanks to Earl, Bash, and the Hellions, I got a new name and a new life. Until my son called me. I can't let Clayton find him."

"Clayton will never find him," Earl speaks up, gently cupping my face as he turns it toward him. "We didn't just get you a new life, we ended his as well. He will never come after you because he's been dead. We made it appear as if he died in a boat accident with you. We tortured him for a week, making sure he felt every inch of pain that he caused you, then we disposed of his body." All I can do is look at Earl in pure and utter shock.

Clayton's dead, has been dead, and he never thought to tell me. I could've been with my son, watching him grow up. Instead, all I had were dreams of who he was. How could he lie to me?

"Get out!" I scream, but neither of them listen. I don't care that Jax is innocent in this. I don't want anyone with a fucking Y chromosome around me right now.

"Mel," Earl tries to plead, but I don't give a fuck.

"I said get the fuck out. Both of you."