CHAPTER FORTY-TWO

In the garden, Tillie bent over, bracing herself on her knees. She felt Liam approach and wanted to push him away, but she didn't have the strength. He placed a hand on the top of her back.

"You're not dying," he said. "Remember? Let's breathe in. One . . . two . . . three . . . That's right. Out one . . . two . . . three . . . four . . . five . . . six."

She coughed, stood up. Pushed away. He was part of the insanity. She strode through the grass, paced back. "Why did you do this?"

"I didn't. I swear."

"It's impossible. It's all impossible."

He waited.

Tillie covered her eyes, howling. "I don't know how to think about this. I don't remember anything. Wouldn't you think I'd remember when I saw them?"

"You don't have to make sense of it all at once."

Tillie thought of Arlette, laughing when a raven stole her earring. Singing when they played games in the fields or planted seeds in the greenhouse. Thought of her laughing, with one hand on her chest. Her heart burned. The panic returned.

"That's not my mother," she said, pushing away from Liam. "They're mistaken. I'm not the person they think I am."

"Okay."

"You're humoring me," she cried. "Like a frightened horse. But just because they want it to be true doesn't mean that it is." She paced through the grass, agitated, and paced back, her hems gathering bits of seed.

He simply stood there, hands at his sides.

She stared at him as if this was his fault. "How would that even be possible, Liam? You know? Like, we just accidentally met at the gallery, and then we had this wild affair, and now I'm here—were you part of this, like some weird scheme to get me here?"

"No," he said again. "I swear." He held up his hands in an oath.

Her eyes filled with tears. "What about my mom ? My real mom?"

She stared back at the house, as if there were dragons within, unable to move in any direction.

"Hey," he said quietly. "What if we just see what happens? You don't make any choices or alliances or believe anything."

She waited.

"You were looking for answers, yeah?"

She nodded.

He held out his hand. "Shall we go in and see if we can find some?"

"Okay." She placed her hand in his, her smaller fingers enfolded in his own, and let him lead her back inside.