Chapter Sixteen

Dinner was a huge success, if I said so myself.

The cheesy potatoes were devoured in ten minutes flat, and I got to see Finn’s eyes light up when I brought out the cheesecake for dessert that I’d been hiding in the vegetable crisper.

Ouire was very good while we were eating. He curled up on the spare kitchen chair, as much as a book could curl, at least, his pages rustling softly as he rested. Occasionally, his bookmark twitched. I knew Ouire could dream walk, but could he dream? I figured he probably could.

Finn was focused, his eyes narrowed, and his lips pursed as he concentrated on showing Andre his newest trick. It still made me a little anxious to see the bloom of black ink against my son’s skin, watching new numbers appear almost daily. I knew they were just a sign of the Magician’s tricks he’d mastered, but some mom instincts were just too hard to shake off.

With a little flourish of his hands, Finn blew out one of the candles that I’d placed on the table to make things feel a little more fancy than maybe cheesy potatoes and chicken casserole deserved. I expected the smell of smoke to linger like a ghost, but it was pretty much gone instantly. And in its place, I smelled something delicious. Brown sugar, rich chocolate, baked to golden perfection. The room filled with the scent of my mother’s chocolate chip cookies, and I had to take a slow breath against the wave of memories that threatened to swarm me.

“My word,” Andre said, a little wondering. “Fresh baked bread. It reminds me of my grandmother.”

“Wait, bread?” I took another sniff, but no—that wasn’t the smell of fresh, baking bread. It was most definitely chocolate chip cookies. I looked at Andre. “I don’t know what sort of bread you have in England, but that’s the smell of cookies.”

Finn grinned, wide enough that his freckles almost vanished. “And I smell birthday cake. Isn’t it cool?”

I looked at him. “What is it, exactly?”

He nodded, like he’d expected the question. “Well, I was telling Ouire about mom’s potion,” he said to Andre, who was truly the more important person in the room (not that my feelings were hurt). “And he taught me a new spell. The spell uses smells to trigger happy memories, or at least the feelings behind them.”

That was absolutely remarkable. I took in another long sniff. I remembered sitting at the table in my mother’s kitchen. I was so small at the time that my feet didn’t touch the ground. Then my memory turned to the suncatcher in the window. Then the gently wafting curtains with their red, gingham print. It was like I was there again, but without the full body flashback.

I leaned over towards Finn and wrapped him in a tight hug.

I could tell he was pleased, because he didn’t squirm or act like he was embarrassed by a hug from his mom in front of Andre.

“That’s amazing, Finn. I’m so proud of you.”

And I was. No matter what magic I could do, or might do in the future, Finn was the most amazing creation of my life. He made me so proud, every day. And sure, sometimes I was still a little nervous about him doing magic, and about the toll it might take on him. But when I saw him so happy, so sure of himself, and so eager to make the world just a little bit better for the people in it, my heart felt so full that I thought it might burst.

I leaned back, releasing him reluctantly. His hair had mussed up a little, and I smoothed it back from his forehead. That caused him to make a face and twist away, but at least he was laughing.

“Mom, c’mon. You’re messing up my hair.”

I had to laugh at that. Especially remembering vividly that, as a toddler, I’d practically had to chase Finn with a brush to comb his hair, or he’d have gone around with a serious case of bed head all day.

“I was fixing it. But if you want me to mess it up…” I leaned forward, wiggling my fingers like I was going to leap for his hair.

“Ack, no!” Finn got up, laughing as he twisted out of reach.

Andre grinned as he watched our antics. “I’m very impressed with your newest trick, Finn. You’re going to be a great Magician. At this rate, Ouire and I are going to run out of things to teach you. I might have to reach out to the others, to see if they have any tips for dealing with a prodigy.”

That had Finn practically glowing with pleasure, but he shrugged, playing it off. “Nah. You two are the best teachers I could have asked for. I don’t need any others.”

Andre blinked rapidly, swallowing hard. His voice was only a little raspy when he said, “Alright, then.”

There was a lump in my throat, too, but probably not for the same reason.

Was that why Andre was looking at his options? Because he thought there was only so much teaching he could do with Finn? I knew he’d settled in Haven Hollow to take on a roll as Finn’s mentor, but I’d thought, and I’d hoped, that it was also partially to be close to me. So that we could explore what this whole soulmate thing meant for us.

Was Andre just killing time until he thought Finn didn’t need him anymore, and then… what? Where did that leave us? Would we still stay together, but just date long distance or something? Las Vegas was pretty far. I wasn’t sure I could be content with a once every few months kind of arrangement. Or once every month. Neither sounded good.

But tonight was supposed to be a night for celebrating, and I didn’t want to rain on Finn’s accomplishment, so I kept the smile on my face firmly locked in place and shoved the last few bites of cheesecake around on my plate without really seeing them.

With Finn on his feet, Ouire ‘woke up’ and was on the points of his cover and bounding around within seconds. The book’s red ribbon bookmark was flapping around wildly as he zipped around Finn in his excitement. It always shocked me just how fast Ouire could move.

He was literally a book. He ‘walked’ by tottering on the edges of his cover. I would have thought he should have been slow, all jerky movements and awkward shuffles like a robot or something. Instead, he was rocketing around my kitchen table like a hyperactive puppy, much to Finn’s laughing delight.

“Okay, you two. How about you take it out back and burn off some of that energy?”

I didn’t have to say it twice. Finn bent forward, patting his thighs like he was calling a dog. “Come on, Ouire. Let’s go outside!”

The two of them went roaring out the back door into the yard, Finn’s laughter trailing behind him like a banner.

Andre watched them go, a small smile on his lips. He leaned back into his chair, resting his shoulders against the wall and let out a quiet laugh. “He’s a good kid.”

“He is.” The warm feeling of pride filled me. Finn was a good kid, and one day, he was going to be a good man. One who was going to make the world better, one small act of kindness at a time, spreading hope to people who desperately needed it. He would have been just as special without any magic at all, though. I knew whatever Finn chose to do with his life, he was going to do amazing things. Just as quickly as the warmth swelled, it turned to ashes in my chest as I thought about the conversation Andre and I still needed to have. And what would that mean for Finn if Andre left?

I knew Finn was making incredible progress as a Magician. Andre showed him new tricks almost every week, and Ouire had taught him dream walking so that the two of them could get together at night when Finn was sleeping to learn even more. Though, I was mollified that apparently Ouire refused to show Finn pages that held tricks he didn’t think Finn was ready for, yet. I was glad the book was aware enough to watch out for my son, in his own way.

But there was more to life than magic and spells. It was obvious to me, to anyone with eyes, really, that Finn was very attached to Andre. There was an emotional connection there that went beyond teacher and student. Finn really looked up to Andre, and I didn’t know what it would do to Finn if Andre just walked out and left us. Strangely, Finn hadn’t seemed that concerned about it when I’d mentioned as much to him. He’d simply shrugged and told me I shouldn’t jump to conclusions until I talked to Andre about it.

I might have been too anxious to bring up the conversation for myself. But for Finn, I’d move mountains. My mouth was so dry, it hurt to swallow, but I forged ahead. It was a struggle, to keep my voice calm and even, more difficult than any magic I’d ever done. I cleared my throat and looked over at Andre, forcing myself to smile.

“Andre, if you were ever planning to leave—I mean leave town… um, I’d really appreciate it if you could explain your reasons why to Finn. And not just, you know—up and vanish.”

The words came out a bit stilted and I found I couldn’t hold his gaze, so I looked anywhere but. Regardless, I was pretty sure I’d gotten my point across. I just didn’t want to see Finn hurt and disappointed, especially for something that was never his fault.

Andre was quiet for a long moment, and when I finally dredged up the courage to look at him, his expression was utterly baffled.

“I…” he trailed off, shook his head, and tried again. “I mean, of course I’d just never up and leave without a word to Finn. I could never do something so callous. But I certainly don’t have any plans to go anywhere.”

“You don’t?”

He shook his head. “No, Poppy, I have no interest in leaving.” My shock must have shown on my face, because he reached across the table to take my hand, the picture of concern. “Poppy? Is everything alright?”

“Um,” I started and shook my head, because now I was the one confused.

“Why would you even mention as much?” Andre pushed. “What brought this on?”

My eyes stung, but I absolutely refused to cry. Instead, I took a couple of deep breaths, but I managed to push through and keep my voice steady. “I’m sorry, Andre. I hadn’t intended to snoop, but the other day, when I was at your house, well...”

Of course, talking about that night had blood slowly creeping into my face. It had been a really good night. The best I’d had in a very long while. And just remembering it made me want to push the table out of the way so I could bury myself in Andre’s arms. Not for anything spicy in particular, just to regain the closeness we’d had that night. That was when I realized I’d been holding myself like I was bracing for something, and I hadn’t even realized the distance until this moment.

I took a slow breath in, then released it. “I saw the letter you had on your dresser while you were in your closet.”

“The letter?”

“Yeah—a job offer, from the MGM Grand.”

Understanding bloomed across Andre’s face, and he gave the hand he was still holding a squeeze. “Poppy—that meant nothing to me. I turned the job down almost as quickly as I received the letter.”

Everything went still, and I gaped at him, feeling like my jaw was brushing the table. I didn’t even have any words, I was so surprised. “You… what? Why? Why would you turn it down?”

Andre shook his head, bemused, like I’d asked him a question with an obvious answer. “I turned it down, because I didn’t want the job.”

“No, but… that’s… what?” I closed my eyes and waved my hand in the air, like that might knock things back into place, into an order that actually made sense to me. “Andre, it’s Las Vegas.”

“Yes, I am aware.”

“The greatest stage magicians in the world dream about doing a show in Vegas! And they wanted you multiple times a week! I can’t even imagine how good that would be for your career. That’s a life-long dream kind of situation, and you turned it down?”

Andre turned so that both of his elbows were resting on my old wooden kitchen table. He reached for the hand I was still waving in the air and brought it gently back down to the table. For a long second, he didn’t say anything, and I could practically see him thinking out exactly what he was going to say. One thumb brushed back and forth across my knuckles, a reassuring, grounding touch.

I took the chance to look at him. Just look at him, like I was trying to memorize his face. The dusting of dark stubble on the edge of his jaw. The full curve of his bottom lip. There were a few fine lines at the corners of his eyes, and deepening grooves on either side of his mouth, evidence that he was a man who smiled often.

Those blue, blue eyes, so quick and intelligent. My gaze dropped to his broad shoulders, the narrow span of his hips, down strong forearms. Andre had rolled his sleeves back a few turns, so I could see the dark ink of his own tattooed numbers under a fine dusting of dark hair.

I thought it might have been his hands that were the most striking part of him, though. Andre had remarkable hands. Long fingered, elegant, meant to flip a card or make something disappear without even an ounce of magic involved. He kept his nails short and neat. They were good hands. They felt strong and sure in mine.

Andre drew in a breath. “Poppy, my job… I do what I do because one, I enjoy it. And two, I’m good at it, and I’m vain enough that I like to be more than competent in my profession.”

That started a laugh out of me, and Andre smiled to see it. He gave my hands another reassuring little squeeze.

“But thirdly, I picked stage magic to complement my work as a Magician, because it’s something that brings people joy. I love seeing people smiling in the audience, hearing their little exclamations when I pull off a good trick, or a sleight of hand. There are occasionally some people out to trip me up or prove I’m ‘fake’, but for the most part, people go to see magic shows because they want the wonder of it.”

My eyes were stinging again, but I was smiling. I knew exactly what he meant. Even in a world where I knew magic, real magic, existed, I still had gone to Andre’s first show in Haven Hollow. Partially because Finn was interested, but partially because it was, well, fun. I’d seen magic do some truly miraculous things; summon storms from nothing, turn a summer day to winter, I’d seen it literally raise the dead. But I’d also seen it do terrible things, like tear apart families, and create monsters.

Andre’s magic wasn’t like that. And his stage magic was just for fun. It was an agreement with the audience, a collaborated trick. To step away from all the things that were stressing you out and just believe in a bit of wonder, for a while.

I’d even seen Wanda, who didn’t have a very high opinion of magic users who weren’t witches, make a shocked, pleased little sound once while watching Andre pull off a particularly difficult trick.

“I love seeing people smiling when I pull something off. I love seeing children crowded into the front row, their eyes shining. They believe it’s real magic, and they’re enchanted. I love having audience members come up and participate, even when they’re a little embarrassed, because they’re good sports. That’s what I find thrilling, that’s the best part, what makes it all so worth it.”

I felt like he was spinning a spell with his words, because I could see exactly what he meant. Kids trying to hold in their excitement, bouncing in place. Grandparents whispering to watch, watch that part there, and then clapping with excitement when Andre pulled his rabbit out of his hat. The smiling crowd, the applause. Everyone so happy and sharing their happiness, the crowd building on one another’s reactions.

Andre leaned forward then, bringing our faces closer together. “Now, I want you to imagine instead, a huge theater. It’s big. Cavernous, really. It echoes when it’s empty. It’s a bloody furnace when it’s full. There are enormous tracks of lights shining in my face, until I can’t even see the people in the front row. I can’t see any faces, actually. And I can’t hear what anyone is saying, just the applause when I finish a trick. I’m cut off from everyone completely. I might as well be alone up there, for all that there are thousands of people with me.”

Saying it out loud like that, it did sound a little horrible. Isolating, at the very least. Audience volunteers would have to be picked by assistants in the crowd and then led up to the stage. Andre wouldn’t even know if people were enjoying themselves until they clapped or didn’t.

“All the parts that I loved best wouldn’t even be there anymore.” Andre leaned back again, but he didn’t let go of my hands. A small smile played around his mouth. “No, thank you. I assure you, Poppy; I am exactly where I want to be.”

I was going to cry. It was just so sweet. My heart was so full, it almost hurt, and it felt like it was swelling up into my throat. I could barely breathe around it. I hadn’t wanted Andre to leave, of course I didn’t. But I also hadn’t wanted to be the one holding him back, keeping him from doing the things he wanted to do. A good relationship was a partnership, where we lifted each other up. Not a set of handcuffs where one partner was just dead weight, dragging the other one down.

But it sounded like, even if Finn and I weren’t in the picture, Andre wouldn’t have taken the position, and that was exactly the kind of reassurance I’d needed.

“And the biggest reason of all as to why I turned the job down,” Andre continued. “Is sitting right in front of me.”

My eyes finally overflowed at that, one hot tear snaking its way over the curve of my cheek. I went to bat it away, but Andre beat me to it. He smoothed it away gently with the pad of his thumb, and I almost couldn’t breathe around the sweetness of the gesture.

“Now that I’ve found you, did you really think I’d be willing to let you go?” he continued, as I felt so incredibly stupid for every doubting him. Andre slid his hand down to cup my cheek, his expression turning solemn. “I am sorry, though, Poppy.”

My laugh came out a little soggy, but I refused to be embarrassed about it. Happy tears were the last thing I’d ever feel shame for. “What in the world would you be sorry for?”

“I should have told you about the job. That’s the sort of thing that deserves a discussion.” He twirled a lock of my hair around one finger, watching the faint curl bounce. “Even though I never had any intention of taking it, we’re a couple, and I need to involve you in these things. I’d just dismissed it out of hand. That was why I didn’t tell you about it. In my head, it was a non-issue. But I should have told you about it, regardless, and I’m sorry.”

The sheer relief I felt was making me giddy. I couldn’t stop grinning, even if it caused another couple of tears to abandon ship and go sliding down my cheeks. “It’s okay, I understand. But I’d really like to hug you right now.”

He chuckled. “Then what in bloody blazes are you waiting for?”

And then I was finally wrapped up in his arms, snug against his chest, and some part of me sang in contentment at how close we were. I tilted my head back, angling for a kiss. Less than a second later, the back door flew open and Finn came thundering back inside. Ouire was right on his heels, red ribbon waving madly.

Andre and I drew apart a little. We didn’t spring away from each other like guilty teenagers, but there was a time and a place for those sorts of things, and right in front of Finn wasn’t one of them.

Finn didn’t comment, or even make a face. He just headed for the couch in the living room with Ouire and called back over his shoulder. “Andre’s not moving, is he?”

Andre looked at me and shook his head as he smiled.

“No, he’s not,” I called back.

“I knew it!” Finn responded. “There was no way he was going to leave me and there was definitely no way he was going to leave you.”

“And he’s exactly right,” Andre whispered to me.

“Hey, are you guys ready for a movie yet?” Finn continued as I pushed a few stray tears away. How was it that Finn knew Andre better than I did? Whatever the answer, I still had a lot to learn, it seemed.

“We are ready, I believe,” Andre said as he looked at me and I nodded.

“Cool! What did you guys want to watch?”

Andre shrugged, and I didn’t have a strong preference, so I said, “Why don’t you pick?”

“Okay.” Finn grabbed the remote as Andre and I made our way to the couch. “Sophie said this one was really good.”

I settled down onto the couch and wrapped my arm around Finn while he was selecting the movie. Andre sat beside me, and his arm curled around my shoulders. I settled into the warmth and the closeness of the two most important men in my life, listening to Finn rattle on excitedly about this movie his classmate had recommended, and I felt like life was just about perfect.

~~~~

The End

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