Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

Corey

"There isnothing quite as amazing as your hole taking my cock," I groaned into my boy’s ear as I stroked his length. He whimpered, his body arching further into me.

Yesterday had been a clusterfuck. It seemed like everyone was in a shit mood.

Logically, I knew it was because of the call we got from the sheriff’s office. They’d told Atticus there was nothing more they could do. Gerald had been located, but he made it clear he didn’t want anyone on the ranch to know where he was. Something about ’needing time’.

"Daddy! I’m so close." His voice brought me back to the moment. I didn’t need to think about such frustrating things at a time like this. Why worry when heaven was between these gorgeous cheeks? The rest could wait.

"Come for me, baby," I demanded while pounding deeper into him as my hand sped up.

He lasted only a few seconds more before he fell apart. I listened to his muted cries, fighting against my own need to yell as blissful waves of ecstasy tore through me. His body became a vise around my cock, milking me until there wasn’t anything left to give.

"Fuck me. That was perfection." I trailed kisses up his spine as I slipped free once we’d caught our breath. "Let me clean you up."

We’d ditched condoms after my tests came back clear last week. My boy had gotten a clean bill of health with his discharge, so really it had only been me holding us back. The moment I knew that; I flew down to the local clinic for a panel of bloodwork. I didn’t want anything between me and Ashley ever again.

Once I got him clean and we changed the sheets, I tugged him into bed with me. It was the wee hours of the morning; we didn’t have long until it would be time to start our day. Still, I wanted to take the time to bask in the afterglow of our lovemaking for just a bit longer.

"I’m sorry about your friend, Daddy," my boy said after a few minutes of peace. "I know you were hoping he’d come back."

"It’s ok, baby. I’m sure he has his reasons. It’s not like we can control him anyway. He’s got a broken heart, an addiction problem, and a ranch full of people that remind him of both. We shouldn’t be surprised this place isn’t a safe space for him anymore."

Midmorning,I was knee deep in busted feed supply bags when my phone rang. Griffin groaned as he pointed at me. "Don’t go taking no calls right now. We’ve got to get this shit sorted."

"I’ll tell your Daddy you’re being a brat if you don’t stop being mean to me," I rebutted.

He frowned at my words, then put his hands on his hips as I pulled out the singing device. I was smirking from our interaction up until the moment I saw who it was.

"It’s Gerald." I felt like I whispered the words, but in an instant, Griffin was beside me and staring down at the screen too.

"Well, don’t just stand there. Answer it. And put it on speaker."

My hands moved on autopilot to do as he said. I was too deep in my thoughts to understand how this was happening and what it could mean. He hadn’t used this number at all since he got out. We thought he’d ditched the phone completely.

"Hello?" I said into the receiver.

Soft music drifted back over the line, though it wasn’t anything I was familiar with. It sounded almost like something classical. Griffin gave me a curious look, then we both went back to looking at the phone as if it held all the answers to the universe.

"I’m glad you’re here with me," a deep voice said. "If there’s something I can do to help besides this, please let me know."

Gerald’s voice quickly followed with, "You’ve already done so much. I wish I wasn’t this way. I wish I could just be fine."

He sounded absolutely gutted. It was like when someone finished crying and their voice still held that scratchy quality to it. I wondered for a moment what the hell was going on, but I didn’t ask.

"You have every right to feel what you feel and to want what you want. I should know, given how I ended up here. Our situations might be different, but we’re both running."

I caught Griffin’s gaze and held it. We were both wide eyed and curious as hell. This call had to be a butt dial. I almost felt bad for listening in, but at the same time, I knew that maybe we’d find some clues about where he was if we stayed on the line.

Gerald told the sheriff he wanted nothing to do with us. I believed that to be true. What I didn’t believe was that he was actually done with the Coleman Ranch. First of all, his belongings were still here. The man didn’t even have his birth certificate or social security card on him. Sure, those things could get reprinted, but I didn’t think he’d want to go through the hassle.

Secondly, I knew that despite the pain he felt here, the ranch was Gerald’s home. We were his family. He wouldn’t stay away forever.

Griffin tugged his phone free, then opened up the recording app on it. He motioned to my phone, then angled his so it would catch the sound. "Do you know him?" he mouthed to me. I shook my head. "Me neither."

"I’m so confused all the time. All I want to do is sleep. I could drink before but now... now I’m tired. I just want to go to bed." Gerald whined at the other man. There was some noise like things were getting shuffled around.

The deeper voice echoed across the line again. "Come here, Gerald. Let us rest for a bit, then we can both face the future with a better mindset."

"There is no future. Only pain and the past. I just want to feel better. How can I possibly feel better after—" His voice broke as he began to sob in earnest.

Guilt riddled me, and I ended the call. "That was brutal," I said to Griffin.

He nodded as he shut off his recording app. "It was. I’ll have to edit the ending out, but I’m glad we got enough of the rest."

"Enough? What are you planning?"

"Nothing yet. I just feel like I know that voice from somewhere. I think one of the other guys might recognize it too. If we can narrow down the who, then we’ll be able to find the where."

I bit my lip as I contemplated how to tell him my thoughts. It wasn’t that I didn’t think we should find him anymore. It was more like I didn’t know if we could truly help him if we did.

Gerald was one of my best friends before Clancy passed. The sickness and devastation of that made him pull away from everyone, me included. It hurt, but I understood at the time.

Even so, I didn’t know if I could help him through this. He sounded like he needed professional help to battle his demons.

"Do you think it’s a good idea? He sounded completely broken up." The sound of his sobbing would echo through my mind forever.

Griffin’s shoulders rose as he looked me over. "I can’t say I know what’ll happen. I just think he deserves to know we’re here for him no matter what. If we don’t find him and tell him ourselves, then the last memory he’ll ever have of the ranch is the intervention we held. And before that, it would be the drinking and the bad memories. He’d have to dig deep to see the good. I think we could help him find it though. Especially if he’s a little like some of the rest of us."

"I don’t know that being little will heal this deep of a wound."

"Oh, I know it likely won’t. What I’m saying is that sometimes escaping to that place in our minds can be therapeutic. I wasn’t here for everything, but I imagine Gerald hasn’t been able to fully immerse his little side for quite some time. If he’s been holding that back and burying his grief at the same time, it’s no wonder he numbed the pain in other ways."

The clouds parted, and the sun shone down like a spotlight over my head. Figuratively, of course, since I was still standing in a pile of feed in the barn. But that’s exactly how it felt after Griffin explained things.

I know suppressing my Daddy instincts made me struggle. When Ashley and I took the next steps in our relationship and played around with the idea of getting romantically involved, I felt such a relief being able to connect with someone that way. I can’t fathom what it would be like to have that ripped away and to not have a way to get it back.

"Poor Gerald," I mused aloud.

"Yeah. It’s a much deeper pain than we all thought at first. He needs time, but I also don’t want him thinking he’s alone in all this. Whoever is with him now is helping it seems. That’s a relief at least."

It was a relief knowing he had someone around him. I feared if he were left alone, he might do something he can’t come back from.

Griffin broughtup the voice recording over dinner that night. Harlan had just sat down beside him when he spoke up. "I know we’re all reeling from yesterday’s call. Not to add to the frustration, but there’s something Corey and I have to tell you."

"Gerald called me today," I said after his lead in.

The room erupted with questions. "How is he?" "Where is he?" "What did he say?"

Griffin whistled, and they all stopped. "Let us finish the story." Once everyone agreed to be patient, he motioned for me to keep going. He might have been Harlan’s boy, but there was a backbone in there.

"He called, but he didn’t talk to me. I think it was a butt dial because we could hear him and some other guy."

Everyone’s eyes widened and some of the guys leaned over the table like they were looking for answers. Ashley took my hand in his, lending me silent support while everyone else waited patiently for the next bit of the story.

Our food was likely getting cold, yet no one cared. Not even me or Beau, the resident foodies, stopped to eat.

"When I realized what was happening, I took out my phone to record part of the call. I feel like I recognize the voice, so I wanted to play a part of it to see if anyone knows who he is."

The men all chanted they very much wanted to hear what they could. Griffin pulled out his phone and hit play on the recording. As Gerald’s voice filled the room, I watched various reactions come across everyone’s faces. Some were surprised and others sad. I’m sure they could all hear his pain just like I had. It was more open and honest than he’d ever been with us—minus the intervention we had. That was truly the only time we’d seen just how deep the hurt went.

As the recording ended, Griffin looked around the table. "Anyone know him?"

Everyone shook their heads. That only seemed to confuse Griffin more.

"Maybe you know him from somewhere else?" I suggested. "Could he be from before you came our way? Or maybe someone you met in passing? There’s no guarantee you really know him."

It made me seem pessimistic, but someone had to say it. There were only so many chances in this world, and I felt like our luck might have been running out. Each man on the ranch had found love in some way. Well, all except Gerald. Instead of getting his happy ending, he suffered the loss of the one man he thought he’d have forever.

If we considered the odds, then they were not in our favor about finding him as easily as we’d hoped.

Atticus cleared his throat, gathering everyone’s attention. "While I’m thankful you two thought of something to try to help, I’m going to have to ask that you let this go for a while. Gerald made his intentions clear. He’s wanting space. We’ll give him that. If he decides to come back, he’ll always be welcome."