CHAPTER 4

AJay

It was late on Christmas day when my phone finally rang with the call I'd been waiting for. I ducked out onto the deck to answer it, inhaling the salty sea air in the last light of the day. The sky was that deep navy blue colour that heralded the coming night and there was already a dusting of stars in the sky. I could still see the waves from the deck, now a calmer quicksilver with a mist of sea spray scenting the air.

Today had been a surprisingly good day. I had expected to feel like the unwanted interloper on my best friend's family occasion but Dane's family had been so welcoming to me.

His big brother especially.

There was a sweetness and a depth to Nick that I had not expected to find. Not after everything I'd heard about the guy from his younger brother. It made me wonder how well Dane actually knew him because from where I was standing, Nick was actually kind of amazing.

I shook those thoughts of him out of my head as I answered the call.

"Hi, Mum."

"Merry Christmas, Ajay," came the voice of my mum over the span of the deep blue ocean separating us.

"Merry Christmas, Mum."

"Did you have a good day?"

"I did actually," I said, smiling as I recounted the Christmas dinner and the relaxing day I'd spent down here on the coast with Dane's family. "How is Tim's mum?"

"Ah," Mum returned, a hint of something in her tone. "Seems like it was a bit of a false alarm. She's doing much better and was able to be back home for Christmas dinner which was good."

"Huh," I replied, something ringing in my gut.

"What is it?"

"Probably nothing," I returned.

"Say it, darling. Tell me what you're thinking."

"I just … I was just wondering if maybe Tim had been angling to spend Christmas in Wellington all along," I ventured hesitantly.

"Well of course he would have liked to spend the time with his family," Mum conceded. "But we both agreed we would have Christmas at home with you this year."

"Right. Tim agreed that, did he?"

"Well …" Mum faltered and I knew my hunch was right.

"It just makes me wonder if maybe this imaginary health scare was just a ploy to make sure Tim got his own way like usual."

"What do you mean like usual?" Mum replied a little defensively.

"I'm just noting that Tim seems to always get his way. Have you not noticed that we haven't seen each other once this whole year? Not since your wedding day."

"Ajay," Mum said softly. "I'm sorry if it seems that way to you, darling. You know how much you mean to me."

"It's not actually that it seems that way to me," I returned. "It actually is that way. I'm not saying you have to drop everything for me but maybe once in a while …"

"I know. You're right, darling," Mum conceded. She sounded tired and a little defeated and I realised it would be nearly midnight over in Wellington.

"Anyway, I didn't mean to ruin Christmas for you," I replied, not wanting to leave things like this with my mum. "I honestly had a great time. Dane's family are really amazing."

"I'm so glad. And I'm sorry about how things turned out," Mum said quietly.

"It's okay. When are you back?"

"Ah, well, we thought we might as well make the most of the time since we flew all the way over here. So a few more weeks." Yeah, there was definite guilt in her tone this time.

"Right. Well, enjoy your holiday," I returned, injecting a bit of false enthusiasm into my tone. We disconnected the call and I leant my head on my arms up against the glass fence, a heaviness to me that I didn't want to deal with.

I felt the cool press of glass on my arm and I looked up in surprise to find Nick standing beside me, a cold beer in his hand.

"I didn't realise anyone else was out here," I said, taking the beer from him.

"Yeah, sorry. I was sitting over there," Nick said, ducking his head a little guiltily. "I didn't mean to listen in on your convo."

"That's okay," I sighed heavily, taking a sip of my drink.

"Sounds like the good news is your stepdad's mum is doing okay," Nick offered with a cheeky grin. I could only laugh, the unexpected nature of it instantly lifting that heavy weight off my shoulders. I wondered if that was Nick's superpower, always making those around him feel good.

"Cheers to completely healthy step-grandparents," I returned, holding my bottle out as Nick clinked his against mine.

"Also sounds like maybe your stepdad is a bit of a dick," Nick finally ventured, leaning on his arms the way I was doing and sending me an assessing glance.

"Probably. That's the vibe I'm getting."

"You don't know him well?"

"I have literally met him twice," I said, angling my body towards Nick. "On my mum's wedding day and the day before that when we had a meet the family lunch."

"Right."

"It was kind of a whirlwind romance, you know," I said, not sure why I was suddenly divulging all this stuff to Nick. I generally played my cards close to my chest but there was honestly just something about Nick that made me feel like I could say stuff to him. Like I knew he wouldn't judge.

"What do you mean?"

"Like, it's just been me and my mum for years. There's my sister Emily too but she moved out of home the minute she could. Tassie was always too small for her."

"Wait, you're from Tassie?" Nick asked, genuine curiosity on his face.

"Born and raised," I quirked a smile at him. "And no, before you ask, we don't have two heads."

Nick ran an obvious eye down the length of my body before he smirked at me. "Depends which heads you're talking about."

I admit it took me a few beats until I caught his drift and I found myself laughing again, something I seemed to do a lot in Nick's presence.

"In that case, maybe I'll have to reassess my standard answer," I returned.

"I mean, I can only see the one," Nick continued, still with that cheeky grin on his face. "I'd have to check to confirm the existence of the other."

My laughter died at the look on his face. Or maybe it was the tone in his words, like maybe he might have wanted to check. Something landed in my gut but I quickly dismissed it, trying to get my train of thought back on line.

"Sorry, I interrupted you," Nick said. "You were saying it was just you and your mum?"

"Yeah," I replied, dislodging some of those errant thoughts from my head. Talking to Nick was always a little confusing like that. I kind of felt like I was always a step behind him, like maybe he knew something I didn't. It was a little disconcerting. "We were really close too. Like, I never went through those teenage years where I was embarrassed by my mum."

"You and I have that in common," Nick answered with a small smile. "I think my mum is the greatest." See? Total sweetheart.

I grinned. "Just a pair of mama's boys, huh?"

"Proud of it too," Nick grinned back, that smile of his completely disarming me and making me lose my train of thought. Again.

"So anyway, yeah. It's just been me and Mum for years. All my life I've wanted to go to the Conservatorium of Music in Sydney. It's one of the best music schools in the world and I knew I needed to be there. My high school back in Tassie didn't have enough kids to run a year twelve music program so I was faced with not even having the pre-requisites to apply. So I ended up applying for a scholarship at the music college in Sydney where Dane went. I don't know if you've seen the fees but we could never afford to send me there."

"Huh," Nick mulled, a quizzical expression on his face.

"What?"

"I had kind of assumed you were just another entitled rich kid from Sydney's best postcodes," he admitted.

"It's dangerous to make assumptions," I returned, eyebrow raised.

"I'm starting to see that," Nick mulled. He ran a palm along his chin, the skin a little scratchy with evening stubble. I liked the sound it made. "So you obviously got the scholarship and moved up to Sydney?" he prompted after I realised I'd lost my train of thought again.

"Yep. Got the scholarship, moved to Sydney," I told him. "I lived in the boarding rooms on site at school which was actually pretty cool. That's where I met Dane and we became instant friends. Mum came up to see me whenever she could but money has always been tight for us and Sydney is stupid expensive. And then somewhere in that year I was away she met Tim. They were married within a couple months of meeting."

"I see what you mean about whirlwind."

"Yeah. I was kind of okay with the whole thing at the time though. I mean, my mum had been on her own for a really long time. I was happy she'd met someone. Maybe not about the hasty marriage but then Tim seemed okay on those two times we met."

"Do you mind me asking what happened to your bio dad?" Nick asked quietly. I glanced at him, a contemplative look on his face that had me wanting to keep talking even though it was a subject I rarely volunteered.

"Nothing overly dramatic. He just walked out on us is all," I shrugged. "I was only two so I have no memories of him and Mum never talks of him."

"Shit. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I honestly never missed him from my life. I mean, it did kind of mess up my mum financially for a while. I get the impression he left her with quite a bit of debt so we've never been flush with cash."

"Money is not all it's cracked up to be," Nick said quietly.

"Spoken like someone who's never wanted for it," I returned.

"Ah, now I feel like the entitled asshole," he groaned.

I smiled. "Pretty sure only one of those is true," I joked, nudging his shoulder with mine.

"You calling me an asshole, Tassie boy?"

"Maybe I was calling you entitled," I grinned back.

"I think I'd rather be an asshole to be totally honest," Nick returned, blue eyes sparkling.

"You know, I reckon that's just a front," I mulled, turning again until my entire body was angled his way. Nick straightened, something crossing his face.

"Do you now?"

"Yep. I reckon you're way nicer than you let on," I continued. "Maybe not to Dane but there's some kind of history between you two. To me, you've been nothing but sweet."

"Don't go around calling me sweet, Ajay," Nick chided. "I have a reputation to uphold."

"Sure you do."

Nick grinned at me and I grinned back, caught out by that glint in his eye that was drawing me in. What was it about Nick that had me so hooked? Was I jealous of him? Envious maybe? I mean, maybe of that body of his and his obvious talent on the back of a surfboard. I didn't normally go around noticing guys but for some reason I seemed to have noticed Nick. I wasn't usually insecure in myself either but I didn't think that was it. Nick had not made me feel bad about myself in any way. Quite the opposite in fact.

Maybe he was just one of those magical people who drew others in, one of those magnetic personalities who also happened to look like something out of a Greek myth with his long, golden brown locks and sparkling blue eyes.

It wasn't until I heard the sliding door open that I realised we were still grinning at each other. We had also somehow managed to close the gap between us as we'd stood out on the deck talking until our arms were bare millimetres from each other, Nick's smiling face right in front of mine. Dane stepped out onto the deck and I blinked, the moment lost.

"Hey," I greeted my best friend, shifting away from his brother. I hoped the false enthusiasm was only obvious to my ears.

"There you are," Dane replied. "I've been looking for you."

"Just out here," I said, casual as could be. Nick had gone silent, his eyes watchful and a little wary as they looked between Dane and me.

"Got some good news," Dane announced, a little pep in his step. "I just got off the phone with Dee. She and Kira are going to drive down to see us in a couple of days. How good is that?"

A little bit of lead emerged in my system and sank itself right down to my stomach at Dane's words. I had nothing to say as I felt my eyes flick across to Nick.

"Who's Kira?" he asked, always watchful.

"My girlfriend," I admitted with a sigh. The one whose very existence I had managed to forget the last day or so since my arrival in Esperance.

"Wow. Don't sound so excited there," Nick returned with a grin. I just raised an eyebrow at him and knocked back the rest of my beer as my fresh paradise suddenly closed in on me.