CHAPTER 1

ajay

"You just about packed for your trip home?" I asked Dane, my best friend and roommate as I leant up against his doorframe. Dane looked slightly frazzled, his usually styled black hair standing up on end as he stood by his bed in our two bedroom apartment, suitcase splayed open beside him.

"Just about," he grimaced, sitting down heavily beside a pile of unfolded polo shirts. "But Dee will be here soon and I plan on giving her a very thorough farewell before I go. Sorry but also not sorry in advance for all the sound we're about to make."

"Isn't she coming down the coast to see you in, like, a week?" I laughed.

"Yeah, so?" Dane shrugged with a grin.

"You don't think you can last out an entire week without your girl?"

"Have you seen my girl? That would be a hard no," Dane returned, pumping his eyebrows suggestively. Ah, Dane and Dee, Dee and Dane, the two most intertwined and loved up couple I had ever known. They had been dating since year nine, the cliched high school sweethearts who had so far managed to extend their romance a year out from graduation and with no end in sight. A love for the ages if ever there was.

"Well, what about you and Kira?" Dane returned. "You planning a farewell to remember before you head home for the summer?"

Ah yes, Kira. My girlfriend.

Was it weird that I had not even thought about her once all day as I packed for my own return home to my family who I hadn't seen in nearly a year? Probably.

"I saw her yesterday," I shrugged.

"Dude. You're not going to see her until school goes back in five weeks," Dane pointed out.

"I'll cope. Don't forget not everyone is as loved up or as codependent as you and Dee," I reminded my best friend as I had done many times over the past twelve or so months that Kira and I had been together. Yeah, we were also the cliched high school sweethearts but I was the first to admit our relationship was still very much stuck in the glory days of year twelve.

I wasn't exactly looking towards building a future with Kira but I also hadn't done anything to put an end to us. I had just kind of assumed it would peter out of its own volition but so far it hadn't even though Kira tended to stage some drama or other which resulted in a temporary break up on a semi-regular basis.

I mean, people didn't really end up with their high school sweethearts, did they? Other than in Disney movies perhaps. But Dane and Dee were kicking against that narrative, their relationship only moving into hyperdrive in the past year. I wouldn't be surprised if Dane kicked me out of the apartment so that Dee could move in with him. Probably would have done it already if he hadn't known it would have left me homeless. Sydney was a crazy expensive city to live in.

No, me and Kira were not a long term prospect. It had been fun albeit a hell of a lot more drama filled than I would have liked. But my heart just didn't yearn for Kira the way I knew Dane's yearned for Dee. Maybe I just wasn't wired that way. To love someone so desperately I couldn't imagine a day without them.

Twelve months with the same person felt like such a long time. I also knew the longevity of our relationship was really down to two factors – my general apathy and the fact that Kira and Dee were best friends, just like Dane and me. The awesome foursome as the other three insisted on calling us. Kind of ensured we would be forever thrown together in this possibly too close-knit, slightly overdependent little friendship group we had going on.

Even if maybe I thought about different things from time to time. Even if maybe I had started secretly hanging out with a few of my other uni friends whenever I had the free time between my course work, guitar tuition and the part-time barista job I had picked up at The Local Brew. Even though sometimes I felt a little suffocated by the awesome foursome friendship group I couldn't see a way out of.

Nothing that a long summer break back home wouldn't help to fix at any rate.

A knock at the front door interrupted our brief conversation and I smiled at my friend as I went to answer. Dee was standing in the hallway, long brown hair swinging in a pony tail and slightly breathless from her walk up the stairs.

"Ajay," she smiled at me, stepping forward to give me a one armed hug and a peck on the cheek.

"How are you, Dee?" I returned.

"Good," she replied, smoothing out her pony tail. I didn't hold her attention for long as Dane came into view and she sent that dazzling smile of hers his way. "Hey you."

"Hey, beautiful girl," Dane replied, a soft smile on his face as he leaned up against his doorframe. Yeah, would have sounded corny coming from anyone else but not Dane and Dee. They were just that kind of way.

"You seeing Kira tonight?" Dee asked, attention half back on me as she held her boyfriend's hand.

"Nah. Need to pack for my flight home tomorrow," I replied. "Early start and all that."

"Bet she would have loved to see you before you go. Five weeks is a long time to be away from each other," Dee told me, a suggestion and a little bit of light judgment in her tone. It was one of the great reliefs of my life that Dee and Kira did not live together. If they did, I doubt I would have had a minute to myself based on how often Dee came to the apartment.

And yes, I could hear my thoughts in case you were wondering.

Dee squeezed my arm as she brushed past me and I turned back to the kitchen as I heard Dane's bedroom door close firmly behind them. I picked up the TV remote on my way, turning it on to whatever was showing and went to make myself a cup of coffee. I was grateful as hell to Dane for letting me live in this cute loft apartment with its exposed red bricks and industrial black steel beams, not to mention its bright, funky new kitchen. The place was owned by his parents, and Dane charged me only a small token rent for the room I took.

The only downside was that the walls were paper thin and I knew from past experience how the soundtrack I would be listening to for the rest of the night would go.

It was late and I was about to give up on attempting to follow who did it on Midsomer Murders when my phone rang beside me. I plugged in my earbuds as I answered the call.

"Hey, Mum," I began cheerfully.

"Ajay," Mum replied with a soft sigh. The tone in her voice had me sitting up instantly, caution dropping in my gut.

"What is it?"

"I'm so sorry, darling," she said quietly, a quiver in her voice. "Tim's mother has fallen ill and we're not sure if she's going to make it."

"Oh," I said, not sure what my role was here. Tim was my mum's new husband of the past twelve months and I hardly knew the man. I'd definitely never met any of his family other than the small handful who had made it to their fast-tracked wedding last year. I wasn't even sure if my mum had met her mother-in-law given that most of Tim's family lived over in New Zealand.

"We've managed to get on a last minute flight over to Wellington first thing tomorrow morning," she told me as the reality of the situation dawned on me and I felt my balance tip.

"Oh. Right."

"I'm sorry," she repeated once again. "I know it's Christmas and you'll be left all alone but I …"

"Yeah. I get it," I sighed, trying to ignore that stab in my gut, the one that kept whispering at me that she had picked him. Again. I wasn't sure why I was surprised. It had been this way since they had met. I'd already moved up to Sydney by then on a full scholarship to the top music school in the country so I hadn't been around when they started dating. But my mum had been lonely for years, just the two of us together since my sister Emily had left to study economics in Melbourne and my dad long since out of the picture.

I was glad my mum had found someone, really I was. It just would have been nice for her to think about me sometimes too. I couldn't help feeling like my place in her life had taken a dramatic dive since she'd met Tim. I knew I didn't always get the full story but all I ever heard was Tim wants to do x or Tim needs me to do y. Or sorry honey, we can't make it up to Sydney next weekend after all as Tim's daughter just surprised us with a snap visit. I never factored into any of their plans anymore. It seemed it was easier to disappoint me than any of Tim's family and their frequent ‘impromptu visits' that always managed to derail any plans that might have involved me.

It was one of the reasons I hadn't been home once in the past year.

"Will you be all right, Ajay?" Mum asked. I could hear the distress in her voice and I knew I didn't want to add to it. She was probably stressed enough as it was and I was big enough to at least pretend I wasn't completely gutted about being left stranded and alone at Christmas time.

"I'll be okay," I told her, sitting back heavily on the sofa, running my hand through my curls.

"I'll call you when we're in Wellington. I love you, darling."

"Yeah. Love you too."

Dane found me sitting in the same spot later that night, immediately sensing something was wrong.

"What's up?" he asked, sitting down alongside me in just a pair of loose boxer shorts and nothing else.

"Ah, plans have been changed," I told him, trying not to show how much it was affecting me.

"Why? What happened?" he asked, concern etched onto his face. I felt Dee sit down on my other side and her soft arm wound around my shoulders. I let out the sigh I had been holding in.

"Tim's mum is sick or something and they're rushing over to New Zealand to be with her," I explained, feeling their gazes lock over my head.

"Dude. That sucks," Dane replied, shifting beside me.

"What are you going to do?" Dee asked, rubbing my back softly. I'd always been a bit tactile in nature and I appreciated that soft touch from my bestie's girl.

"I don't know," I sighed, leaning against the back of the sofa. "Hopefully I can get my shifts back at the café though because otherwise I'll be eating tinned food for a while."

"What about Christmas?" Dane pressed. Christmas was only two days away. I had been planning to fly down to Tassie tomorrow morning in time for Christmas Eve and spending the whole summer break back home. Now I had nowhere to be and no one to spend the festive season with. Emily was skiing somewhere in Switzerland with her new boyfriend so my sister was out of the equation too.

I sighed. "They'll be gone for a while so guess I'll be eating take out alone," I replied, trying to inject some false bravado into my tone.

"Nope, no way," Dane replied, shaking his head. "You're coming home with me. You can spend Christmas with us and then stay for the whole summer. My parents are heading overseas on Boxing Day anyway so it will be just us. We'll basically have the whole house to ourselves."

"I can't do that to you, Dane," I replied.

"Sure you can. My parents love you," he returned.

"They've met me once," I laughed.

"Exactly. And they fell in love with you, little charmer," Dane answered, roughing my hair with his hands. "Must be these gorgeous curls and your big innocent eyes."

"Go home with Dane's family," Dee cut in, concern in her eyes that I would be spending Christmas alone. "I'll be there in a week too and it will be just like old times."

"I mean, if you're sure your parents won't mind," I said, uncertain about crashing a family moment but desperately wanting to at the same time as a sense of hope started filtering through me.

"Of course they won't mind," Dane assured me.

"Can you at least call them first and check?" I pleaded. "I won't be offended if they just want to be with family."

Dane let out a laugh. "Sure, if it will make you feel better but my folks have never been like that. It's definitely no big deal. Please come."

"As long as you check with them I will," I agreed, a smile spreading across my face as that sense of relief flooded through me. Five weeks would have been an awfully long time to spend banging about Sydney on my own. Add in the fact that I'd already given up all my shifts at The Local Brew until term went back. I wouldn't have been able to afford to stay here regardless. "Thanks, man."

"Don't mention it," Dane returned with a grin. "We're going to have the best summer break ever. It'll be awesome."

"Yeah. Can't say I don't mind the idea of seeing your coastal home I've heard so much about."

"Oh, just a word of warning," Dane added as he stood and held out his hand for Dee. "My asshole brother will be there too. Can't avoid it really but we'll just have to ignore him as best we can."

"I'm sure your brother has far better things to do than hang out with the two of us," I laughed.

I had never met Dane's old brother but I knew they didn't get along. I didn't know the back story but Dane had mentioned him enough times to give me a fair idea of what to expect. A twenty-two year old surfing bum with no prospects and even less ambition about summed up Dane's feelings on the matter. I had no reason to believe otherwise.

At least, that was what I told myself as I stepped into my bedroom to repack my suitcase for a trip to the South Coast. Those jumpers would definitely not be needed as I added in my flip flops, a few extra pairs of boardies, t-shirts and a tube of SPF.

Yep, maybe this sudden change to my holiday plans would not be so bad after all.