Chapter Nineteen

Fred

I woke up with Elio's head on my chest. It had been his thoughts creeping into my mind that woke me. They sparkled with excitement.

"That sort of morning, huh?" I let out a sleepy chuckle and moved my hand down to his ass.

It had been that sort of morning since the first time we woke up next to each other. I started to turn to my side, but Elio put a hand on my chest. I glanced down, blinking at the red smudge of color next to it. The tip of the shape touched the edge of my nipple. I blinked hard, trying to clear my vision.

"It's your scale" Elio yawned, a grin still pulling at the corners of his soft, kissable lips.

"My scale?" I blinked.

Of course. The star scale. The scale that linked all the members of the Starscale Dragon Flight. I'd forgotten for a moment that's what we were waiting on while we were shut away in the tiny bedroom for our mating moon. My heart sank into my stomach for a second. This meant things had to get moving. I had to find out what the Star Room was and figure out if Elio really knew Lotus. He didn't feel like a liar. Our relationship felt real and solid, but this wasn't ordinary. How did I grow a second claiming gland for him?

"By magic," Elio sighed, pulling away. "We've spent days together in her – together, together, mating and romping and---" he sighed again, reaching for his sweatpants. "You still don't believe me?"

"I want to. I do, but that's part of what worries me. That sometimes I forget I'm waiting on proof."

"That's because you know I'm telling the truth!" Elio growled, tossing up his hands in frustration. "This, that," he pointed to the red scale on my chest. "This is all something to celebrate and I'm tired of being the only one who's happy about it. I get it. This isn't usual or common or whatever, but this is my real life. This is the first time I've ever felt something like this. Sure, I know what happened in the Other World. I've seen the firsthand account memory via the magic, but never while living this life. That was who I used to be before. I'm me now and I'm getting fucking frustrated that nothing I do is good enough to prove to you I didn't re-murder Lotus in the afterlife! How do you think this happened? Is that how you think it happened? Because it doesn't fucking work like that! I don't know about where you come from but here it pretty-fucking universally accepted that the true-mate magic starts with an agreement. No agreement, no choosing, no fucking true-mate magic, okay?"

He slammed the bathroom door and left me rubbing the bridge of my nose on the bed.

"Well, if could've been that sort of morning if you kept your mouth shut," my dragon chimed into my thoughts.

"I didn't say anything! He read my bloody mind," I groaned, swinging my legs off the bed.

"Elio!" I called through the bathroom door. "Come on now! I'm allowed to have doubts! Everyone has fucking doubts! True-mate or not, it happens! I've been there done that – don't do this!"

"Did you doubt for a moment that Lotus was your true-mate?" he called back through the door.

"I'm not playing this game," I shook my head. "I'm not comparing you and her because there'd be no winner there, Elio!"

"I don't want what you had with her. I want what we might have if you get your head out of your ass!" He roared back at me. "I know it doesn't seem fair to you! I told you – I met her in the afterlife – in the Other World. We fell hard, Freddie. We fell so hard. I've seen the memories. You came too. You came to us in your sleep!"

"I don't remember," I said, reaching out for something that wasn't in my mind.

"Most living people don't remember if they visit the parts of the Other World that belong to the dead. It's so rare to remember."

"Open the damn door," I sighed. "This isn't how we should work through arguments. Yelling through doors never got anyone anywhere."

"Don't call me a liar again," Elio sighed back at me.

"I didn't call you a liar."

"You thought it – sort of."

"Yes, I did. Take this as a public service announcement. You're not going to like all the things you hear me think. That's just a fact of life. I get it. This time around this is your first response, but I've had a link like this before. It can be romantic and sweet and bring us close together. It can also do this – it can cause fights and hurt feelings. At some point you just realize that thoughts are automatic things and if the other person isn't thinking them at you or saying them or dwelling on them, you got to let them go. The alternative is we both live holding that link shut so tightly that there isn't a point in having it!"

Elio sighed and the lock clicked open. I stepped back to let him leave the bathroom. He hugged me tight, burying his face in my chest and scent marking me.

"This is my first time ever responding like this," he said a moment later, his words muffled against my chest. "I was a beta before. You know – I was in that middle space of having never met my true-mate. So, yeah, I fell in love with Lotus and then somehow with you, because mates are one person divided in half in some ways. But I've never done this before. Not just in this lifetime but ever."

"That's okay," I said and kissed the top of his head. "And we're going to argue sometimes. That's okay too. I just don't can't go into this with blinders on thinking everything will be Pollyanna unicorn farts or some shit all the time and if someone would've told me that when I first met Lotus, I'd have punched them."

"Do you like me?" Elio asked, pulling away and sinking onto the edge of the bed. "I don't mean do you lust for me. We obviously have chemistry."

"I do," I nodded. "I think you're brave and spunky. I think you've pushed past assholes, supposed impossibilities, and uncaring leadership to try to do something for your flight. That's hot. You want to leave a mark on the world."

"No, I don't," Elio shook his head. "I wanted my mates here. I want Marsin to be able to go out and find his mate or have him come here. It's not history I wanted to make – I just wanted to be fucking happy. I didn't want that to be impossible, okay?!"

"It's not impossible. Nothing's really impossible," I said, fighting off the urge to rub the bridge of my nose.

"I know we're in different spots in our lives," Elio sighed.

"And I'm doing my best to not pop your balloon or leave you jaded with the world before you've really lived enough of it to get there by yourself."

"If you saw me at a club, would you want to dance with me?" He asked.

I almost said no, but stopped myself. Lotus was dead and I figured my club days were over, but that's not what he meant. Elio was trying to figure out my motivations from something he remembered in the Other World.

"I think I would," I nodded. "We danced here, didn't we?" I reminded him. "Look," I sat down next to him and blow out a couple smoke rings to soothe my dragon. "I'm sorry I tried to burn you up without waiting for an explanation. Grief is a fucker. It really is. When it hit me – that undeniable feeling hit me, I expected to smell her. Well, maybe not as a her. I don't know how she'll come back and I don't think it matters to me how she reincarnates. Anyway, I'm getting off track."

Elio laced his fingers through mine and squeezed my hand.

"I thought I'd find Lotus again and then I knew it wasn't her. You weren't her. Somewhere between needing more coffee and my dragon berserkering out I lost it. It had to be black magic."

"Maybe love it black magic. It makes people do crazy things," Elio said, flashing me a half smile. "I won't apologize for not being Lotus. I like who I am and I can't be anyone else. I'm sorry she had to leave you. I'm sorry you guys haven't found each other again."

"Did she tell you for a very short period we had an open relationship?" I asked him.

"Yeah."

"We were young-ish. We had fun. We wanted to see what was still out there. Then she got sick and it was just us. It was nice. It doesn't surprise me that she'd morph us into a throuple, if I'm being honest."

"We're a polycule with a missing link," Elio sighed. "I don't remember her in this lifetime, of course, but I miss her. It aches behind my ribs every time I remember she brought us together but she's not here to be happy with us."

I nodded and kissed his temple.

"Love is an ache that lasts forever," I shrugged. "Too much is never enough, and it always ends too soon. Are you ready to show me the Star Room? I'd like to know what happened over there. I get it. You think I won't believe you unless I see it and fair enough because you're probably right."

"Can we have breakfast and coffee that hasn't been poisoned with sugar first?" Elio rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand. "It may take a while and I don't want to be hungry all day."

"Sounds like a plan," I nodded.