Chapter 10

We spent the rest of the morning riding a double-decker tour bus around the city, getting off at popular tourist sites, and enjoying them at our leisure until the next bus arrived. We sailed in a wide circle around the Arc de Triomphe, Hunter smiling softly as we chattered excitedly, taking videos on our phones. Jillian looked fully recovered as she spoke to the camera, her hair flowing in the wind and her smile wider than I’d ever seen it.

I checked off another list item at Notre Dame. Mom had given me a collection of bookmarks with sketches of Notre Dame for my twelfth birthday, and I’d kept every single one. But being there in person far exceeded my expectations—the soaring, arced ceilings, the gothic architecture, the brilliant windows, the black-and-white-checkered floor. The loud bells I could still hear from several blocks away. The square outside that featured almost as many pigeons as tourists.

At one point, my sisters wandered off as I stood in front of one of the smaller stained-glass windows, admiring the brightness of the blue and picturing what this building looked like centuries before.

“How do you feel standing here?” Hunter asked, reaching my side.

I cocked my head, still gazing at the window. “Small. ”

He turned to me. “Why small?”

“Because this place existed long before I did, and it will hopefully last long after I’m gone. I don’t know how to explain it.” Mom never got to see it at all, and it felt unfair that I did. Because her father died, no less.

“I know exactly what you mean. So much of Paris is that way.” Hunter gazed up at the ceiling. “People built this, yes. But in a way, it’s transcended man and launched itself into immortality. Yet we haven’t found a way for mankind to achieve that same immortality. So these places only remind us of the fact that we won’t be around forever, no matter how hard we try. We can only leave behind the beauty we create.”

Swallowing back the sudden tightness in my throat, I pondered his words. Some people made beautiful things like this incredible church. Others created families and let their children become the legacy they left behind. Like Mom. In that way, our little farmhouse and Notre Dame had much in common.

“Yeah,” I managed. “Something like that.”

As the day went on and we toured the city, I grew quiet as I pondered what we’d seen so far. I didn’t expect the feeling of melancholy that followed at each site, as if every box I checked off my list drained the slightest bit of my dreams into nothingness. Would I feel fulfilled when I accomplished each of those items? Would I feel closer to Mom, having accomplished the things she wished she could have done?

Or would I feel emptier than ever?

Hunter finally dropped us off to change for tonight’s formal dinner, promising to return in an hour. Thankfully, the only evening dress I owned fit in well here—a stylish, black, asymmetric gown with an off-the-shoulder sleeve on the right side and a single knee-high slit on the left. The cut of the waist made me feel tall and slender. Best of all, the fabric shimmered and glittered like the night sky.

I stood admiring myself in the sliver of bathroom mirror I could see from the bedroom when Jillian came over in her sky-blue sleeveless cocktail dress barely long enough to cover the essentials. “Dang, Kennedy. I don’t think I’ve seen you in a dress since Mom’s—uh, since a few years ago. Hunter won’t be able to take his eyes off you.”

Okay, we clearly needed to talk about this. “Jillie, I’m not dressing up for Hunter. It’s a sister trip. He just happens to be our tour guide. One I didn’t want in the first place, might I add.”

“Fine, but even I can feel the strain between you two. You obviously have some unfinished business that needs to be resolved.” She shrugged. “If that requires a little kissing, then so be it.”

“I’m not—Jillie, there will be no kissing.”

“None at all?”

“Not a single pucker. He’s engaged, remember?”

She gave me a coy look. “He isn’t married yet.”

“He’s off the market, and that’s what matters.”

“And if he wasn’t? ”

That stopped me. If Hunter were single, it would change everything. I could tell him how much his rejection hurt and give him a chance to mend it. I could reveal the real reason I hadn’t come to Paris, and we could start over. But he wasn’t, so it didn’t matter.

Jillian sighed. “I’m not convinced he is engaged anymore. We haven’t seen his intended once. Seems weird that he hasn’t mentioned her, either, doesn’t it?”

“Not if he’s spending time with us behind her back.”

“Kennedy,” Jillian said sternly. “Hunter is not that kind of guy, and you know it.”

I shrugged. “Do I?”

“Yes, you do. It’s time to find out if he’s available, once and for all. I have an idea for the ultimate test. You’ll be our bait.”

Oh, great. This sounded like something I should run from, stat. “Why not you?”

“Because he’s been staring at you ever since we arrived, and if you haven’t noticed, you’re an idiot. Now we’re going to make you look stunning tonight. You’ll descend the stairs and see what his reaction is at the bottom. If he doesn’t care, he’s taken. If he goes all stupid, it means he loves you.”

“Men can love two women,” I pointed out. “Henry the Eighth had six wives.”

“He’s, like, the worst example you could possibly come up with. I’ll forget you said that. Anyway, Hunter isn’t in love with anyone else, and I’m going to prove it to you. Now turn around so I can fix your hair, because it’s atrocious.”

I only obeyed because Jillian was in one of her stubborn moods. There may have been a curiosity as well, because it did seem odd that Hunter hadn’t mentioned his fiancée once. If he was single, I needed to know it.

But I didn’t want him to know that I wanted to know. Because that implied all sorts of things I didn’t want to imply. And I didn’t want Jillian to simply ask, because he would assume it was really me asking.

What a mess.

So I sat there and put up with Jillian’s fussing over my head far longer than I should have.

It wasn’t until we faced the stairwell that I remembered that item on my romance list—descending the stairs in a fancy gown as a man watched. This was a trick at the very least and a test at the most, but it was also as good a time to check off that item as any.

Alexis pushed her way past me toward the elevator. To my surprise, she wore a deep-red velvet gown that rose to her neck in front but exposed her entire back. She looked positively stunning.

“Wow,” I said. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you wear red before.” It didn’t look like a dress you’d find at the mall, either. Sometime between junior high and now, my sister had become a woman.

“I had a rich boyfriend in Maine,” Alexis said, punching the down button in the elevator. Jillian had just enough time to leap inside before the elevator doors closed, sending me a quick wave. She wore a deep blue dress with pleats in a modern flapper style. It looked adorable on her.

And Alexis, with her rich boyfriend comment. I’d have to ask her more about that later.

I turned to the stairs—yet another staircase battle in my future, it seemed—and picked my way carefully down, clinging to the handrail and praying I wouldn’t pull another head-over-heels Eiffel Tower tumble. And heels they were, at least four inches—tall for me. Stairs and I weren’t the best of friends lately. I didn’t want to take any chances.

Finally, I neared the last flight of stairs, my stomach fluttering at the thought of Hunter waiting at the bottom. Was Jillian right? Was his engagement over? Or was he simply being polite in showing us around the city? He did show me more attention than the others, but there could be an element of guilt there too.

We’d find out soon enough. I took a deep breath and turned the corner.

The landing sat empty.

I cleared my throat, hearing familiar voices in the direction of the lobby just around the corner. No answer. I cleared my throat again as loudly and obnoxiously as I could.

“Oh! Um, Hunter,” I heard Jillian say. “I think Kennedy might need your help on the stairs.”

Thank you, Jillie.

“Why?” Hunter’s voice asked. “Did she fall?”

“No, I don’t think so, but her dress is really long.”

I pictured his incredulous expression and cringed. That explanation made no sense.

“I’m not sure though,” Jillian rushed on. “Why don’t you go check on her?”

I straightened, trying to remember my model poses. Flirty hips. One hand resting on the waist and the other on the handrail. Was this too much? It had to be too much.

Hunter appeared at the bottom, lifting a bottled water to his lips. When he spotted me with his cheeks full, he slowly lowered the bottle, his eyes perfectly round, an expression of complete and utter shock on his face.

His Adam’s apple moved as he swallowed his mouthful of water. Or tried to. A second later, he began coughing.

Like, bad.

Oops.

I grabbed a handful of material and hurried down the remaining flight of stairs as quickly as my heels allowed. The second I reached him, I began pounding on his back.

His coughing only intensified, still out of control. By the redness in his face, I could tell he struggled to breathe. I lifted one arm like a toddler and continued to pound his back with the other hand.

Jillian walked in and stopped, taking in the scene. “Um. What happened here?”

“Somebody forgot how to swallow. You okay, Hunter?”

He nodded, still coughing, and pulled away from my pounding, holding up his hands. Jillian picked up the bottle and twisted the cap back on despite the fact that it was mostly empty now and a massive puddle covered the tile floor.

Alexis joined the fun just as Hunter recovered. She took one look, rolled her eyes, and left to get a towel from the reception desk.

Three minutes later, we had the situation well in hand. Hunter stood upright as if he hadn’t just been doubled over, fighting for his life, and the rest of us even managed to clean up the water without getting sopping wet ourselves. A win for sure.

“We’d better go so we don’t miss our reservation,” Hunter said as he motioned toward the lobby. Then he nodded to me as if I were a stranger and said, “You clean up nice.”

Then he swiped his water bottle from Jillian, putting it in a death grip that folded it nearly in half.

When we climbed into the taxi a moment later, Jillian caught my eye with a victorious grin. I ?didn't want her to be right. ?Everything within me rebelled at the very thought. Me and Hunter?

Clearly something fundamental had changed between us. Even more, something fundamental had changed inside us.

Whatever it was, I ?wasn’t sure I had the power to fight it any longer.