19. Holly, Berlin

Iclick the door shut behind us, peel off my jacket and hang it on the coat rack. My body is too warm and my insides are all over the place. This is real. This is actually happening. I don't bother switching on the main light; the mood lighting I set up earlier is perfect.

Casey takes off her coat and hangs it alongside mine. The vision is surreal, and my mind flashes two images simultaneously – one from the past where our jackets were hung side by side in my dorm room, and another set sometime in the future.

‘Are you okay?' Casey asks.

I spin. ‘Oh, yes. Just thinking.'

She raises a brow but doesn't question me. Instead, she glances around, then crosses the large studio space to the thick glass doors of the balcony, boots tapping lightly on the floorboards. ‘Your studio flat thingo' – she turns to grin at me – ‘is cool. And you've got a view.'

I grab the clothing that's tossed over the small two-seater sofa and the radiator and shove it into a drawer. ‘I was amazed when I arrived and it matched the photos.'

‘Always a bonus. Looks like you still live like a student, though.' She smiles again, eyes crinkling. ‘You were always really messy.'

I laugh. ‘Yeah, never broke that habit. I just spend a lot more time cleaning up now.' I move across to the galley kitchen. ‘You want a drink? Wine? Water? Tea?' I silently berate myself. Why the hell am I offering tea? I absolutely do not want to waste time drinking tea.

‘Water's good, thanks. You sure you're only here for a couple of weeks?' Casey gestures over her shoulder. ‘Because that looks like a lot of stuff for two weeks.'

I fill a couple of glasses with cold water from the fridge, hand her one and take a large gulp from mine. I didn't talk much about how I came to be here during dinner. ‘I did bring plenty with me, because I have an open ticket, actually, and no other home at the moment, so…' I shrug. ‘This is it.'

Concern fills Casey's dark eyes, and she places her water on the small dining table. ‘None? You're homeless?'

I give that some thought. ‘Technically, I guess, yeah. If I went home now, I'd stay with friends or my brother until I found somewhere. And Mum has a house; it's just being rented at the moment.' I move closer to her, eager to move on from casual chat. Maybe she'll be around tomorrow for that, or maybe not, so I'm not wasting any more time. ‘I can't believe you're here. Real. In front of me.'

Her mouth curves into a sexy half-smile, and her eyes flare with that look. The one I've been searching for. The one that says she wants to devour me. Like she needs to devour me to sustain life, like a vampire needs blood.

Heat clambers over my skin. ‘It kills me when you look at me like that.'

She steps closer. Our mouths are a whisper apart, her breath hot on my lips. She flicks out her tongue and runs the tip along my bottom lip, making me shudder. ‘I remember your lips,' she says, her voice thick with want. I stumble back against the kitchen bench and she presses her pelvis against me. ‘And I remember them all over my body.'

My own body feels like molten lava, and my breaths come fast and shallow. I slide my hands under her T-shirt to skim her stomach, then rest my lips on hers and murmur, ‘I remember your soft skin.' I slowly move my hands upward and her nipples harden under my palms. ‘And I remember your taste.' I kiss her hard on the mouth and push her backwards, across the studio floor, stopping only to strip off my shirt and delight in her moan as her eyes drop to my lace bra. I rip off Casey's top, and she fumbles with my bra and throws it to the floor.

We kick off shoes and fall onto the bed. My hands find the waistband of her jeans. ‘Can I take these off?'

‘Go for it.' She watches me with sultry eyes as I peel off her jeans. I hook my thumbs under the elastic of her underwear pausing as my gaze flicks downward.

‘Can you please hurry up and take them off? I'm dying here,' she says.

I grin and do what she asks. My body pulses as my eyes travel up her long legs, over the neat patch of dark hair between them, skim her lean torso and erect nipples. She pulls me onto the bed and flips me over, and I let out a squeal of surprised delight.

She gently tugs at my jeans, peering up at me and wiggling her eyebrows.

I nod. ‘Take it all off.'

Casey removes my jeans and underwear, releasing a breathy sigh as her eyes scan my body. She drops onto the bed and eases onto me, pausing a moment to stare into my eyes before her delicious lips are on mine again, and my brain is already starting to splinter.

Our kiss becomes more urgent as she grinds her pelvis against mine. I'm dizzy with the sensation of our hot naked bodies fusing together.

Her lips brush my neck before she nips at my collarbone and moves down to my chest, taking my nipple in her mouth.

I moan. ‘Slow. I don't want this to end.'

Casey lifts her head. ‘Slow?'

I cup her cheek. ‘Yeah.'

She whimpers and comes back to my mouth, kissing me slow and deep. I drag my nails down her back and over her arse as her pelvis gently rocks against me. The kiss soon becomes heated again and she moves back to my breasts.

‘Okay, don't slow down,' I say.

‘No?'

‘No.'

Casey's lips skim my torso as she travels down my body, stopping just above my pubic hair line. I let out a frustrated cry and glance down. She smirks and drops to her knees on the floor, slides her arms under my thighs and yanks me down the bed, causing me to gasp. She lifts my leg and places it over her shoulder, then moves her mouth slowly along my inner thigh.

‘You're killing me,' I moan. Then her tongue is on me, and I release a long, satisfied sigh. She groans and closes her eyes. ‘Don't close your eyes,' I say. ‘I need to see your eyes.'

She partially opens them; they're black in the amber lamplight and smoulder up at me as her tongue moves in slow circles.

‘Oh, God.' I throw my head back on the mattress, the throb in my body intensifying. ‘I can't look at your eyes.' I push myself against her mouth as my back arches and her tongue presses harder against me. Her fingers dig into my hips as my groans grow louder. My body burns as her tongue works faster and I'm gasping her name and grabbing fistfuls of her hair.

Finally, the intensity begins to ease. My skin tingles and becomes sensitive to the touch, and I gently push her head away with a whimper. She lifts my leg off her shoulder, kisses my hipbone and crawls back up the bed, taking me back to the pillows with her.

‘I've always remembered that,' Casey whispers in my ear.

‘Brain, shattered,' I say breathlessly.

She lets out a small laugh. ‘What?'

I grin. ‘That shattered my brain. It's in pieces. I'm not sure I'll ever think clearly again.'

She hooks her leg over me and pulls me tight against her, like she needs me under her skin. ‘I enjoyed shattering your brain.'

I wipe the back of my hand across my clammy forehead. ‘I'm all sweaty.'

Casey presses her face against my cheek and murmurs, ‘You're gorgeous.'

I push her onto her back and roll on top of her, not wanting to waste time on rest.

She smirks. ‘Oh, a bit of force. I like it.'

I kiss her hard and her grip tightens on my hips, then I make my way down her body, sucking at her neck and breasts, enjoying her husky moans and her pelvis pushing up against me. I move further down, and she runs her fingers through my hair, shivering as my lips brush the delicate skin between her thigh and pubic area.

‘Oh, God, um…' she says.

‘Are you okay?' I ask, peering up at her.

Casey tenderly runs a hand over my head. ‘I'm literally about to have an orgasm.'

I laugh and press my face against her thigh.

‘Sooo embarrassing,' she says.

I run my tongue between her legs and she gasps. I look up. ‘Try and last a few seconds longer. For me?'

With a whimper, she throws her head back.

I press my mouth to her, moaning as my tongue remembers her feel and taste. She rocks against me, her groans becoming louder as my tongue works faster. My body begins to throb again and I need more of her. I slide my hand between her legs and gently insert my finger.

‘Fuck, Holly,' she pants and clutches my head. For several seconds her thighs squeeze my shoulders as she breathes my name, then her body deflates with a long, contented sigh.

I stay where I am, feel her throb against my tongue.

‘I lasted a few seconds, yeah?' she says, breathless.

I shimmy up her body, pulling the doona over us. ‘You did.'

‘I feel amazing,' Casey says, her eyelids beginning to droop. ‘My body is actually buzzing.'

‘Mine too.' I prop my head in my palm and trace my fingertip around the outline of a tattoo. It's a globe with only two countries, a crack between them, and what looks like two letters in an elaborate font at the top and bottom. ‘What's this?'

Her eyes search my face. ‘That's for you.'

My brows furrow. ‘What do you mean?'

‘It was my first tattoo. I got it in the new year after I came back from Berlin. When I'd missed the chance to see you again.'

My mouth drops open.

‘I couldn't get you out of my head and I needed a way to process it all. So I got this.'

My gaze shifts back to her upper arm. I can make out the H near a tiny map of Australia and a C near the map of the UK. ‘Fuck, Casey. Seriously?'

She bites her lip and nods.

My eyes fill. ‘All this time, I've wondered why you ran off, whether it was me and what I said…'

She rolls onto her side and slips her arm across my waist. ‘It was never you. I got myself into a state and couldn't deal with it. You were special to me, and this was my way of keeping that memory.'

A tear trickles down my cheek. ‘I love it.'

She brushes it away with her thumb. ‘Yeah?'

I nod.

She wraps her arms around me and draws me close, her eyelids closing. ‘Sorry, I'm falling asleep.'

‘Go to sleep. You've been at work all day.'

Casey covers her mouth as she yawns, then snuggles her head down into the pillow. ‘I can stay awake for a bit…'

My own eyelids feel heavy, but I'm not ready to close them yet, just in case she isn't here when I wake up. I don't want to be that needy person I was back then, but if she does disappear in the night, then I want to absorb every second of this moment. I press my lips to her tattoo – our tattoo.

‘I'm glad you like it,' she says softly.

‘You're supposed to be asleep.'

She opens one eye a fraction. ‘I can feel you staring at me.'

‘I just can't believe you're here, and I don't want this night to end,' I say.

‘I'm not going anywhere,' she says with a sleepy smile.