Chapter 23

twenty-three

ELLA

Despite my exhaustion, there’s no way I’m going to sleep right now.

The last thing I need while I’m planning this wedding is a relationship. Even a semblance of one. Old feelings about Luke mixed up with being back in this town where love reigns supreme are really messing with my logic. Sort of like someone took all my emotions and tossed them in a blender. I can’t figure out where one piece ends and another begins.

My fingers itch to call Gaby, but I’ve kept her too out of the loop with the things ravaging my mind. It’ll take longer than a quick twenty-minute conversation. There’s only an hour time difference, so I don’t let myself overthink too much before I’ve got my tablet in my lap and I’m waiting on Laila to answer.

“I’ve been waiting for hours for this call,” she exclaims. “Where have you been?”

“Busy,” I reply, dragging the word into two full syllables.

I’m not sure how much to tell her, and not because I think she’d say anything to Charlotte. We established a long time ago that our relationship trumps work.

Laila has enough of a following on social media that she could strike out on her own, but I suspect she has to figure that out first.

“Something tells me it’s unrelated to wedding planning.”

“Sort of.”

My short answers are going to drive her crazy. Mostly because I’m not a short word person. Suddenly, I wish she was here, so we could hash all of this out together. I hadn’t expected to miss much of my other life once I got here, but I miss this part.

“I’ve got candy and popcorn. Which does this conversation require?” She holds both up to the camera and I laugh.

“Both,” I reply, swiping a handful of kettle corn out of the bag in my lap.

Sam left a care package in a basket on my bed, stuffed with goodies from town. The popcorn is from the farm, a clever piece of marketing I admire. I’m sure as I settle in, I’ll notice even more ties to the place that brought me back here.

Her eyes widen. “How much of this has to do with Luke?”

Surprised by her succinctness, I suck in and a piece of popcorn hits the back of my throat. As I cough and sputter, she’s already peppering me with questions since apparently, choking is a confirmation of sorts.

“Just hold on.” I’m gasping for air, but I need her to take a breath, too. I wasn’t planning to dive in like that.

“Luke was the guy that rescued you on the road, isn’t he?” she asks around bites. “This is better than watching Dawson’s Creek.”

“There is no Dawson in this scenario.” I clear my throat and reach for the bottle of water on my nightstand. “Zero Dawson. ”

“He’s definitely always been more of a Pacey. There wasn’t any window crawling involved.” She pauses and blinks like the thought is brand new to her. “ Was there window crawling?”

Luke isn’t really either in this scenario if we’re comparing point by point. But if we’re only focusing on his thoughtfulness? His awareness? His long-standing ability to be in tune with my needs before I can even voice them?

He is most definitely up there with Pacey Whitter.

This is not helping me avoid rule five.

“I’m canceling our subscription. No more teen drama for you.” I shake my head.

“That is not a no, Ella!” She brings the camera close to her face for emphasis. “I demand an answer!”

“Luke Jackson never once climbed in my window. Now stop it.”

“That’s such a shame. It would’ve been really romantic.”

“Did you have guys climb in your window?”

Laila’s smile is a little wicked as she unwraps a peanut butter cup in a pumpkin shape. She insists the shapes are better than the regular circles.

“Maybe once or twice.”

There’s a sharp pang in my chest, so I rub at the spot like it can make it disappear. More stolen moments. Not that I would’ve chanced sneaking out or sneaking anyone in. Or would’ve even wanted to.

But it’s all those late nights folding and hanging laundry after a barista shift and homework, so exhausted I could only fall into bed. It’s watching Laila and Bridget head to a dance competition while I’m working doubles to squirrel money away for life after graduation. There wasn’t time for those moments, even if they’d presented themselves.

I was too busy keeping the peace. Surviving.

It’s been a long time since I allowed myself to think about those things. And now isn’t the time to start. Easier said than done since I’m pretending that Luke and I have a different history than we actually do.

“Do I even want to know?” I’m hopeful she can distract my mind temporarily.

“This conversation really isn’t about me, Ella.” Something flickers across her face as she readjusts her tablet. “You were just about to tell me about Luke and his heroic rescue.”

It’s only because I’m exhausted that I let it go. But I’m tucking away a mental reminder to ask again later. If I must bare my soul, she can return the favor.

“Or did you get a letter?”

“No letter,” I reply.

In all the chaos of today, Patch completely slipped my mind. What does that mean? Probably nothing. Almost every moment I’ve spent in Enchanted Hollow today has involved Luke, so of course it’s only natural for him to be my focus.

“He’s not happy about the wedding, is he?”

“At first, no. He was not loving the idea.”

He’s only changed his attitude to save me from Charlotte. And because Holly is part of his family.

“Is this going to be a problem?”

“No. Definitely not.”

“What about the feelings?” She unwraps another peanut butter cup.

“There are no feelings.”

Lies. Lies upon lies.

“He doesn’t still look at you like you hung the moon?”

“He’s never looked at me like that.”

She rolls her eyes. “I refuse to believe you’re that oblivious. Luke might’ve played the part of grumpy oldest brother, but he’s always been a golden retriever with you. Defensive when necessary, but eager to please. ”

“When was he ever defensive?” I scoff. There is literally one time that comes to mind, and that will forever be cemented between the two of us.

There’s a long pause of silence. Laila has the same look on her face she did when she got caught stealing my polaroid camera. We might’ve been teenagers, but the cat caught the canary expression hasn’t changed.

“With me.”

“What do you mean with you?” I ask.

This is brand new information.

“I wish I could say it was just one time,” she says, quietly. “The last time was the day of the party. Midnight in the Hollow.”

My heart is thundering in my temples. “Talk faster.”

“Mom canceled the party we were supposed to have after we left downtown. I was so angry. I’d heard you two, sort of, and I thought she was mad at you. And then taking it out on us. I’m honestly not sure what I was thinking, but I stormed out of the house and I was going to find you out in that field.”

“And say what?”

She shrugs. “No idea. But he stopped me. He told me not to set a foot near you. Gosh, Ella—there’s not a woman alive that wouldn’t want a man to be that passionate about them. I hated you even more in that moment because I thought you were together.”

“You did?” I can’t even formulate questions right now.

“I couldn’t believe that you scored the guy girls around here dreamed about. I’m sorry about that. I didn’t know you then.”

“Don’t,” I say. “We’re not the same people anymore.”

“You are. You’re still hopeful and love-struck. And he still looks at you the same way as he did then.”

“Are you spying on me somehow? ”

“Give me a break. I’m an influencer, remember?” She lifts her phone and touches the screen a couple of times before she turns the phone to face her tablet camera. “Tell me everything, please.”

Her cheshire cat grin fades to the background as my stomach twists. The two people in the photo she’s showing me don’t look like they’re in a fake relationship. They look like they’re together. Emotionally connected.

“Where is this?” I whisper.

“HollowHub. Apparently Enchanted Hollow has their own app, which is honestly adorable. I was being nosy and came across it.”

“Charlotte doesn’t…?”

“Absolutely not.” She waves a hand flippantly. “That’s why she has me. She hates social media. And no one else at work knows you’re there. But I’m ready for story time whenever you are.”

I cover my face with my hands. “He’s got a beard now, Laila. A beard.”

“Then you can’t be held responsible for any decisions you’ve made. Beards take away all rationale.”

Can confirm that yes, they do. This counts as a freaky Friday. No bodies were switched, but my brain has definitely reverted to its teenage state.

“Holly walked up as he was giving me this list of all the ways I drive him crazy.”

“Pacey Whitter,” she mouths.

“Stop it.” I smile. “Fine. Maybe a little. Anyway—we might have been standing close to each other and Holly immediately thought we were a couple.”

“Ohhhh. This is better than Dawson. You didn’t correct her, did you?”

“I’m a terrible person. Aren’t I? ”

“Why would you think that?”

“I’m lying to her,” I whisper dramatically. “She’s a huge client.”

“You’re crafting an experience.”

“It’s the same thing, Laila.”

“Your moral high ground is really cute sometimes, but I need you to listen to me. Was she really excited about the idea of you and Luke? Tell me about what was going on before you let her believe this.”

“She loved the idea. It almost sounded like she’d been worried about Luke and she sounded relieved that he was with someone.”

“Did she have the look ?”

Over the years, I’ve noticed that sometimes, brides sometimes get a look. I have to be observant to catch it, because it sometimes can be a matter of seconds. But it tells me I’ve stumbled onto the thing that will carry me through the process. It can range from something huge, like finding them their ideal venue when they’ve exhausted their options. Or I find a bakery that can meet their lofty expectations. It’s that feeling of someone finally gets me .

She definitely had the look on her face when she thought we’re also a product of this town. People gravitate toward kindred spirits. It’s part of who we are. We want to belong and feel accepted. If I’m being honest, having someone involved with her wedding that knows the ins and outs of Enchanted Hollow is invaluable. But even more so if they grasp what else comes with falling in love here.

“She definitely had the look.”

“Stop feeling guilty, then. You’re giving her what she needs. And you know what? Maybe you need it too.”

“I don’t need anything.”

“Do I need to remind you of our conversation before you left? You’re amazing as Ella Taylor. You don’t need anyone to fulfill you. But. Don’t you want to finally snag a piece of that love pie you’re always serving up to everyone else? You deserve a piece, too. ”

“I don’t serve love pie.”

“Leave my metaphors alone. You’re in the most love infused place I know of — figure out what it has to offer you.”

“Mixing business and pleasure is a horrible idea. There are rules.”

“And rules are made to be broken.”

“You sound like Luke,” I say.

“He’s got great sense then.” She flashes a smile. “Stop letting everyone else fall in love while you watch and then plan their wedding.”

“That is literally my job, Laila.”

“Fake date Luke. And write Patch while you’re at it. See what Enchanted Hollow offers you. After Holly gets married, you’ll be living there, right? Don’t wait to build your life.”

“I can call back tomorrow. You’re obviously in need of some sleep because you’re spouting off nonsense. Fake date Luke and write Patch? What kind of advice is that?”

“The kind that gives you the happiness you deserve. I wish I was there so I could shake some sense into you.” She brushes away a strand of hair and sighs. “I’m not telling you to marry anyone. Just be open to possibilities.”

“If Charlotte finds out, I’ll lose everything.”

“How would she find out? I’m Holly’s point of contact here should she need anything—which she won’t—and you’re in charge there. There’s no reason she would find out. What else you got? I could do this all night.”

“Luke has a daughter.”

“You’ve always wanted kids. Instant mom. Next.”

“I don’t want to lie. ”

“So don’t. But honestly, Ella, don’t underestimate people. They see what they want to see. Sometimes they even see what’s really here, below the surface. If she assumed you and Luke were together, there’s a reason. Is it really such a stretch?”

“Yes.” I blink, reminded again of how different we really can be. “I haven’t seen Luke in over a decade until today.”

“But you knew each other for your whole lives before that.”

“Yes, but?—”

“What do you have against giving yourself a chance to be happy?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re basically getting a trial run with Luke. You get to date him, with no actual obligation, and if things don’t work out—you don’t really lose anything because you weren’t ever together to begin with. And you’re giving Holly a truly unique experience. Her wedding planner is making someone she considers family happy. Do you really want to take that away from her?”

“You’re not playing fair.”

“I’m appealing to the romantic in you. Desperately. Is it working?”

“I still don’t love that it feels like I’m being dishonest with her.”

“If you didn’t have Mom hanging over your head, would you want to see where things go with Luke? Or with Patch if that chance presents itself again? When this wedding is over, are you planning on staying single forever?”

“Well, no. And Luke isn’t an option. Maybe with Patch?”

“On what planet is Luke not an option?”

I don’t know. I think I’ve just told myself that for so long, it’s deeply ingrained. He comes from a sturdy family and I have baggage. Like I’m taking a long trip and have over packed to the extent I’m paying out my ears to fit everything on the plane amounts of baggage. I want to believe that he sees beyond that.

That he could.

But there’s a tiny voice that reminds me I’m still the little orphan farm girl. When I get my parents’ farm back, what can I offer him? I’ll be starting from square one.

“Ella, I love you. But I think the person you’re being dishonest with here is yourself . What are you going to do about it?”

I don’t know, but I sure don’t have long to decide.