Chapter 41

I knewthe moment Sage woke. The click of the bedside light sounded, and soon after, footsteps padded in the hall, stopping in the bathroom.

I leaned against the opposite wall, waiting for her to finish.

She opened the door and then paused in the doorway. She was wearing my shirt and a red thong, Talia's contribution.

"How are you feeling?"

"Clean. Thank you." She flashed a weak smile. "I can't remember the last time I slept that deeply."

"Are you hungry?" Her loss of weight concerned me.

She looked like she wanted to say no but relented, "What do you have?"

"Get back in bed. I will bring a tray." I stayed in the hall until she returned to the bedroom. A part of me wasn't sure she would follow my order.

"I can't tell you how good this tastes. Finding fruit was hard. I think I had a couple of apples and three or four bananas." She ate two more spoonfuls of the fruit salad. "I didn't eat very well when…" she glanced at me, looking uneasy, "When I was running."

It was too soon to have that discussion. I pointed toward the rapidly emptying bowl of fruit. "There is more if you would like it."

She shook her head. "No, this is great."

When she finished, I took the tray to the kitchen and returned to the bedroom doorway. "What else would you like?" I wanted to care for her, but I was unsure how to. She was so tentative as if she was afraid of me.

Sage ran her teeth over her bottom lip. "It looks like I took over your bed." She dropped her gaze. "I can go back to the other bedroom," she offered, but I could tell she didn't want to move.

"You are comfortable here," I replied stiffly. I didn't know what she was getting at.

She gripped the sheet tightly and raised her gaze to mine. "Sleep with me?"

The request caught me off guard. I jerked to attention as I considered her words. "That is not a good idea." I was not sure that I could keep my hands from her.

Tears filled her eyes, and a sob almost choked her. "Breed…please," she begged.

I could smell her sorrow.

She slid down to the mattress and didn't look at me again.

It was her vulnerability that called to my wolf. Our mate needed us. Approaching the bed slowly, I paused at the side opposite of hers and turned off the bedside lamp. I could see clearly in the darkened room, but some things were best left to the shadows. After undressing, I climbed in next to my silently crying mate.

Her back was to me. "Thanks," she whispered.

Her gratefulness broke my heart. "Of course."

After a moment, she cleared her throat. "Earlier…that was the first time since standing beside you at the ball that I've felt safe. I think that's why I slept so long."

I rolled to my side, facing her back, and rested my head on my hand.

"I…uh," she then rushed her words, "there have been many times in my life when I haven't felt safe. I'd be too afraid to sleep deeply."

I took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Why did you run?"

"Nobody could or would tell me where you were. I woke up in Miriam's cottage, not knowing where I was or who she was. I was terrified. I didn't know if I could trust her. I waited for you or Talia to come, and you didn't."

"Anton ordered Talia to our wing. He put guards on the doors. She could not leave."

"Miriam had a connection to a member of your staff, and she learned that Talia couldn't leave." She swallowed loudly. "I didn't know where you were. I didn't know why you didn't come or send a message."

"I'm sorry I did not visit you before Anton sent Sig and me to Nebraska. I arranged for my guards to patrol the area around Miriam's cottage."

"It felt like you abandoned me."

I wanted to fire back that I felt the same way when she'd run. "I wanted to see you before I left, but there was no time. I should have sent a note, but I honestly was unsure what to say." I had wondered if she would forgive me for introducing you to the Lycan world.

"I was getting better. I kept telling myself that Miriam was giving reports to you, and once I was able, one of you would show up to take me away. As time passed, I began to lose hope. Then, Anton arrived with his people."

"That is very out of character for him. Once a year, Anton and I, as his Second, along with his senior advisors, walk through the village with a platoon of guards. He never visits a member inside their home."

"He wouldn't tell me where you were or anything about Talia. He reiterated that I wasn't good enough for you or his family. I think he was a little surprised that I was moving around. He told me I would return to the manor the next day." She let out a sigh. "That made me uneasy. Miriam was sure that he would imprison and kill me."

"Miriam was well compensated to share her version of what happened," I said.

"Anton hinted that if we continued our relationship, something bad would happen. I thought he was threatening you at the time. He talked about your position and how it was one of great power. Continuing a relationship with me would cause you to lose your position."

"You worried about me?" I thought she'd run because she'd feared for her life. What if I'd been wrong, and she'd done it to protect me?

"I love you, Bredon. I didn't want to put your life in danger. Anton made me think that if I continued with you, then he would kill you, and let's be honest, he'd kill me, too."

"I would've kept you safe," I whispered harshly. How could she not know that?

She rolled over to face me. Her palm cupped my cheek. "Bredon, I know that. I worried you would focus on my safety and not protect yourself. It would've killed me if I'd been responsible for your death."

I pulled her closer.

"After Anton left, Miriam pointed out that I was in danger."

"She arranged for you to leave." I knew this part. The healer had not initially been forthcoming about her involvement in Sage's disappearance. However, Sig and I had been relentless while questioning her.

"Once I was on the plane to Chicago, I replayed Anton's words. I realized that not only were you in danger, but I was, too. You were miles away, but I was in his backyard…unprotected."

"You are fortunate that he warned you of his plan, and you could get away."

"I was in Chicago for a few days when Roman and I stopped by my apartment. My neighbor warned me that men were looking for me, asking questions. I knew that I couldn't stay. It would put my friends in danger." She frowned.

I gave her time to gather her thoughts.

"I figured that Anton wasn't done with me. I'd already cleaned out my bank accounts because my gut told me I had to go. My fever had returned, so I hoped to heal before leaving."

"Why didn't you contact me? You could have called Talia or used Justin to get a message to Talia." I hated that it sounded like I was whining.

She let out a long sigh. "My initial plan was to find a place to lay low. I wanted to warn you about Anton."

My arm tightened around her middle. My poor mate, she'd been left on her own, unprotected. She'd tried to anticipate how we thought and reacted when she hadn't fully understood what was at stake or the years of animosity between Anton and me.

"I ran, and then…things changed."

"What changed?

She combed her hair back from her face. "My future. I wasn't getting better. Your bite wasn't healing. I was getting weaker. I've been to two doctors, and they don't know what's wrong with me. I know, though… I'm dying, Bredon." Her heart was pounding so hard that I could hear it.

I let that sink into my thick skull for a moment. Then, a low growl rumbled in my chest. "You agreed to see me only because you are dying?" My anger had returned.

"No," she responded quickly. Then, after a few beats. "Maybe? I needed to see you again…if only to say goodbye."

"You must be fucking kidding me. Do you know how hard it was to get one good clue about where you were? The hours we worked trying to find you? How worried I was, Sage?" I dropped my head to the pillow. "Christ." I ran my hand over my face.

She tried to change positions, twisting her upper body, and cringed. "I don't know what to say that won't make you mad or hurt you." She rested her hand on my chest. "I love you so much. On those long rides, when I wondered why I was doing it without any idea how long I would need to, I tried to talk myself out of loving you, but I couldn't. Not even a little bit."

I exhaled, and it felt like the knot in the pit of my stomach had loosened. "I am so happy that you are here."

My words did not bring her joy. She looked even sadder. "I don't want to hurt you, but I will because I don't have much longer. I don't know what to do, Breed." She sobbed loudly. "I wish I could tell you to go away and forget about me, but I can't. I need you."

I pulled my mate closer. "Shh. Shh." I combed my fingers through her hair. "Don't cry, my darling."

She tried to stop but could not.

I held her until she was finished. Once she had calmed down, I asked, "Did Miriam explain what we are?"

She pulled back a little to see my face with the soft light from the hallway. "You mean…werewolves?"

"Lycan, we prefer Lycan," I corrected her.

"She told me nothing, and I didn't ask. Half the time, I thought what I saw was a hallucination." She turned serious. "It wasn't, was it?"

"I am part man and part wolf. I can change forms."

"You bit me. How come I'm not a wer—Lycan?"

"I don't have the power to change you."

"Hmmm. So, everything I've read has been lies?" She frowned.

"I do not know what you have read." There was no way a human could possess a Lycan text.

"Start at the beginning. How can we be together? I'm human, and you can't change me into a Lycan. How is this supposed to work out?"

"Our Goddess, The Lady, creates our one true love, our Mate. You, Sage, are my mate, the other half of my soul."

"I'm not sure what to do with that knowledge. I thought…when you used the word that it meant…wife."

"A mate is so much more, Sage. The feelings are much more intense."

"I'm starting to get that." She drew her eyebrows together as she waited for me to explain more.

"That night at the ball, my wolf took over when we saw Charles Burke attacking you. We claimed you. My wolf bit you to show others that you belonged to us."

"That seems so simplistic for your wolf. I want to know what you think. Can you disagree with your wolf?"

"You belong to me. You are my mate. To make our mating official, we must stand before The Lady and ask for her blessing and then consummate our mating."

"We don't have the time," she cried.

"Do not say that," I told her sharply. "I will not accept that I have finally found you, my mate, only for you to leave me again."

"Wait. You said finally. How long have you been looking for your mate?" Her eyes widened as she waited for my response.

"Centuries."

"What?" Her voice turned shrill. "How old are you?"

"I do not know the exact number. We did not track time as the world does now."

She opened and then closed her mouth twice, saying nothing.

"That first night, when I tackled you. I caught your scent outside and followed it to you. I knew there was something special about it. Then I saw you, and I was positive of what you were. I could not believe it. You were human. So smart and liberated. You were not what I expected."

"Were you disappointed?" she asked shyly.

"No." I shook his head. "You are amazing."

Her lips curved at the corners.

"I'm unsure how we will handle returning to the Redds."

"Your Pack?" She pulled away from me, obviously not liking the thought.

"Anton's and my father were the Redds' Leaders for many years. He did little except hold onto his gold and ensure that his people didn't leave so that his coffers would always have money deposited.

"From birth, my role has been to support Anton and be his Second. I must protect him. The problem is that I disagree with many of Anton's ideas. Like my father, he doesn't like change. He thinks the way to stay in power is to keep things as they are."

"That's why there was no obvious tech."

"It took years for me to convince him we needed to use certain conveniences, or we would be pushed out and forgotten." I shook my head. "We have egos. Anton believes that the Redds hold power when, in fact, we are struggling and dying."

"I don't like the sound of that."

"It gets worse. Our income is diminishing, and Anton is greedy. Months ago, another Packleader's son attacked a human woman who wears The Lady's Mark. She is a gift to our species, someone to be revered. Charles Burke broke one of our most important laws. He assaulted the woman. The Lycan Council condemned his actions and named him a criminal. Anton granted him sanctuary in exchange for his father's promise of gold."

"That's…not good." She was careful with her words.

"It is not. Anton's decision made many enemies. Plus, our Goddess is known to seek retribution."

"Why did Anton do it?"

"We always need money," I muttered. "He believes the Council and the newer packs have slighted him. A few are growing more powerful while we are diminishing. He refused to turn over Burke. He wanted to thumb his nose at the Lycan Council by holding the ball. His actions put us all in jeopardy. He was reckless. One day, we will pay."

"I'm sorry. I know you care about your people."

"Charles Burke attacked you. He was to be nowhere near the ball. With so many witnesses, Anton had no choice but to turn him over to the Novus Pack, headquartered in Nebraska." I closed my eyes briefly, dreading telling her this next part. "I had been trying to convince Anton to turn Burke over. His father wasn't paying for his care, and I knew Novus would." I wet my dry lips. "It never occurred to me that he would disregard an order to stay in his rooms and attend the ball. He hid in the shadows until he found a female alone." I waited until she gave me her gaze, and I held it. "I never for a second thought you would be in danger."

"That's why you had to go to Nebraska." Things were starting to make sense. "I was lying in a bed unconscious, and you were forced to escort my attacker to what I can only guess was his death." She looked around the room, most likely unable to see anything but shadows. "Anton is an asshole. Luckily for me, he's a lazy one. He should've killed me that day in Miriam's cottage. He could've either intimidated her with threats or paid her to forget. In time, if there were no trace of me…you would've forgotten and moved on."

"I could never forget you." She had no idea.

"All of this…it's like some crazy soap opera with a little Game of Thrones thrown in." She yawned.

"You are tired. We can talk more tomorrow. I will answer more of your questions."

"Promise?" she said sleepily.

"I promise, Mate."

"I like that word, Bredon."

I loved her. I was not going to let her go.