Chapter 26

She purses her lips and looks away.

I grab her chin and turn it so she can face me. “Look me in the eye and tell me the truth, Minnie.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” she replies with a sigh.

“How about the fact that you had another fiancé? Or that apparently you’re a goddess?”

“I—”

“No more lies.”

“I never lied. I just…didn’t tell you everything.”

“Why?”

“Because I knew you’d react like this.” She takes a deep breath. “You reacted so badly to Lucien. How could I tell you that I was engaged before?”

“I would not have reacted badly if you’d told me it was an arranged marriage and you didn’t care for him. Sure, I’d probably research ways to kill him for the future, but that’s besides the point.”

“Marlowe, do you hear yourself? You’re talking about killing a god. That’s… That’s not how it works.”

“What do you mean?”

“We might get injured and we might lose our physical bodies, but our essence remains intact. Unless…” She closes her eyes briefly. “There’s only one being in the entire universe who has the power to vanquish a god’s essence—Commander Azerius.” She gives me a sad smile. “He is known as the God Killer.”

“Azerius… The one who’s after you?” I frown.

“Technically, he’s not yet personally after me. But he’s the one in charge of the hunt. He exterminates the deities who break the heavenly law,” she explains.

“I don’t get what it is that you did so badly. You got involved with a human, so what?”

“You don’t understand my world. We’re supposed to be paragons of perfection. Once we step out of line, it’s game over. So you see, gods might be immortal, but we’re certainly not eternal. In fact, we’re quite replaceable.”

“I see. And you risked it all knowing you’d get punished for it? You put your life on the line just to be with that Lucien of yours?”

“Marlowe, please. Let’s not talk about him again.”

“How can we not when it’s clear how much you loved him—enough to sacrifice your life for him.”

“Please…” she whispers.

I shake my head and pace around the room. There are so many questions going through my mind—even more than before, when I had no idea what she was.

“Explain something to me, Minnie,” I start.

She nods.

“You’ve already committed a crime. You’re already hunted for it. So why can’t we fuck?”

A small gasp leaves her lips.

“Marlowe—”

“What does one more broken rule matter when you’ve already been condemned? Your brother and everyone else think you’ve already broken that chastity rule or whatever. What difference would it make if you do it now?”

“It makes a difference for me,” she replies.

“Why? You’d be doing something everyone else expects you’ve already done before.”

“But I’d know.”

“Again, why is this so important to you? I want to understand you and so far, everything I learn about you makes me more and more confused.”

She stares at me for a moment before she goes around to the table resting against the wall. Her hands are enveloped in a blue shimmer that soon materializes into a book.

“What’s that?” I ask as I join her by the table.

I glance at the book, but it’s in a foreign language that I can’t decipher. But there’s a picture on the right page depicting a cave with an altar.

“What am I looking at?” I ask again.

“I stole this from the House of Moirai—that’s the house that controls fate. It’s an ancient text about the Primordial Goddess of Fate. This,” she says as she points to the illustration, “is purported to be her hidden sanctuary.”

“So? I don’t follow.”

“I suppose I should start from the beginning.” She gives me a brief look before averting her gaze. “The origins of the universe are somewhat similar to what you’ve been taught. It all began with chaos. And from that chaos, the Primordial Gods were born. There were twenty-one of them. Seven of light. Seven of darkness. And seven nether that served as the link in-between.

“Bored and with immense powers, they decided to create toys to entertain them—mortals. But soon it became clear that their creation far exceeded their expectations. Mortals might have limited lifespans, but their souls are immortal.

“Since mortal souls are the product of the combined forces of the twenty-one Primordials, they’re also the purest source of energy in the universe. Nothing has ever, or will ever compare. But soon, the Primordials realized that these souls had gained a free will of their own. Unable to control them anymore, they combined their forces again to infuse each soul with a thread of fate. Its master was to be the Primordial Goddess of Fate.”

“Okay…”

“The Primordials then created their successors, the current Deities of Aperion and the Sons of Tenebreis who became the new keepers of the balance in the universe. I won’t get into too much detail of what happened after, but there was a war between the three factions of Primordials and fourteen of them turned against the Seven and locked them in a mystical prison called Tartarstasis.” She pauses. “As a side note, this is why the Sons of Tenebreis seek to corrupt as many souls as possible. They need the energy of the souls to unlock Tartarstasis and free the dark Seven.”

I slowly nod as I try to keep up with all this new information.

“After they got rid of the dark Seven, the other Primordials disappeared without a trace. No one knows where they are or what happened to them. The Houses of Aperion are merely their successors and they bear the same designation—as in, they fulfill the same role.”

“I still don’t understand what any of that has to do with the fact that you won’t let me fuck you.”

“Patience, Marlowe, I’m getting there.” She rolls her eyes at me.

What can I say, when it comes to getting in her pants, patience is the least of my virtues. Although… I must say, until now, I’ve certainly behaved like a saint.

“Though the House of Moirai currently controls the fate of all beings, the one who has precedence above them all is the Primordial Goddess of Fate. But as I said, all the Primordials disappeared eons ago and no one knows where they are.”

“Right. And?”

“This, right here, is supposed to be the Primordial Goddess’s sanctuary.” She points once more to the illustration. “And the legend says that if a pair of lovers consummate their bond for the first time in the Primordial Goddess’s oasis, they will be linked by a thread of fate no one will be able to unravel. Not even the House of Moirai.”

I tilt my head and frown at her.

She releases a frustrated sigh.

“Don’t you see? If we go to this place and consummate our bond there, we’ll be granted a fated bond. Then, not even the other gods will be able to oppose our union.”

“Does it even matter if they oppose it or not if you’re still hunted?”

“Ugh, Marlowe! You’re not listening! This could be my clean slate! If our bond is recognized by the Primordial Goddess of Fate herself, then no one will be able to go against it. I’d be free of my charges and well…free to be with you.”

Now that sounds much better.

“Let’s go then. The sooner, the better.”

She grabs my shirt and fists it in her hand.

“There’s just one issue…” she murmurs in a small voice.

“What is it?”

“It’s a mythical place. No one knows where it is.”

I stare at her.

Then stare again.

And then stare some more.

“You don’t know where it is,” I repeat numbly.

She nods apologetically.

“For fuck’s sake, Minnie! Does that mean you’re not going to sleep with me until we find this goddamn mythical place that might not even exist?”

“Well…yes.”

“Minnie!” I groan aloud.

“But don’t you see, Marlowe? If we can find it, then it would be the answer to all our problems. I’d be free from persecution and we’d be able to be together. Forever.”

One word piques my interest.

“Forever? When you say forever you mean…”

“Once you’re my bonded mate, you will have the same lifespan as me. We would never have to be apart. Never,” she adds fervently.

That changes things.

I ruminate quietly over the issue at hand. Of course there’s still the possibility that this mythical place doesn’t exist. But what if it does?

We’d then be together forever—what I’ve wanted from the beginning.

Ah, but this is quite a dilemma, isn’t it? Who knows when we’ll find it if it does indeed exist?

“When you say consummation, does that refer only to the act itself, or can we…do other things?”

She presses her lips together.

“I don’t know. But it’s better we don’t take any chances.”

“That’s why you’ve never kissed me on the lips?”

She nods.

“But… Why the hell would you appear naked in front of me then? Why tempt me like that?”

“Because at that time, I wasn’t sure about the terms.” She traces her fingers on the written part of the text. “This is written in Ancient Aperite. It’s a dead language, so there aren’t many people who would know how to translate it. It took me a long time to teach myself to finally make sense of what was written in the book.”

I thread my fingers through my hair and sigh. How the fuck did everything turn so complicated?

I throw a glance at my ring-making equipment and realize I’ve been working so hard all day for nothing. She’s not going to marry me until we find this goddamn mythical place.

“It’s not that I don’t want you, Marlowe. I very much do. But this is an unprecedented opportunity and we can’t dismiss it,” she continues.

The entire thing is absurd. But it’s clear she believes in it.

“What about Lucien?” I suddenly ask.

“What about him?” she inquires tentatively.

“Why didn’t you sleep with him then? When you didn’t know about the terms?”

“That’s…” She swallows and averts her gaze. “That was different,” she mumbles.

“Different how?”

“He was a sick man, Marlowe,” she explains weakly.

“So you would have slept with him if not for that,” I state in a tight voice.

She doesn’t reply, yet the answer lingers in the air.

“I see.”

The rage bubbles beneath the surface, but I can’t let it come out—not now. We have far more important things to discuss. And as much as I hate the situation we’re in, I’d do anything to help her. Even remain a monk for the rest of my life.

Fucking hell.

I cannot believe I’m contemplating this. After weeks of intense sensual torture, I now find out I may never get to touch her like I want to. As long as she believes in that mythical place, there’s no way she’s going to want to engage in anything sexual. And I’m too much of a fucking fool for her to go against her wishes. I’d never force her if she doesn’t want to.

The issue is that she clearly wants to as well.

We’re both standing on the precipice, but she’s waving a very clear stop sign so we don’t fall.

Is it hard? Damn sure.

But if this place actually exists, if there’s an actual opportunity for her to stop being hunted and for us to spend an eternity together… That’s a gamble I’m willing to take.

I know what everyone must be thinking. Who is this Marlowe and what happened to the selfish bastard from before?

The answer is rather simple.

Minnie happened.

“We need to talk about those soldiers coming for you. What’s the plan?” I change the topic. I’m going to save my Lucien rage for when his remains get delivered to me. Then it’s game on.

“We’ll need to leave this world soon,” she answers slowly.

“Okay.” I nod.

“You’re…fine with that?” She blinks.

“Of course. We’re in this together. Where you go, I go and all that.”

“Except it’s not that easy.” She sighs as she manifests the book away. She turns to face me and crosses her arms over her chest. “Mortals cannot stay in a foreign world for more than a few days. And even those days are torture as the new world slowly depletes your body of its strength.”

“Great to be mortal,” I mumble drily.

“There’s a way, though. There are certain potions that would allow you to live in another world without issue. For that, we must find a number of special plants. The only ones who might have these plants in Anthropa are witches.”

“Then that’s what we’ll do,” I tell her.

She stares at me. Her chin is lowered into her chest, her big eyes looking at me strangely.

“What?” I frown.

“I’m trying to understand you,” she mentions slowly.

“You’re not the only one,” I fire back.

She scowls.

“I just told you we cannot be together physically for the foreseeable future and that we must leave your world, and you agreed just like that?”

“Why do you find it so hard to believe? You’re mine. Whether I’ve fucked you or not.”

She blinks.

“I just… I didn’t expect this, that’s all.”

“And what did you expect?” I raise a brow.

Her cheeks redden and she looks away.

“For you to be tired of waiting and take me anyway.”

“What?” I ask, taken aback by her answer.

She bites her lip as she all but avoids to look at me.

“You thought I’d what? Rape you?” My voice becomes harsh as outrage slowly fills me to the brim. She thought what of me?

Yet it’s not just outrage that overwhelms me, it’s also disbelief.

She slowly nods.

“You thought I’d rape you?” I repeat, still unable to process this.

Have I ever given her any indication that I might do something like that? For fuck’s sake, I’ve behaved like a goddamn saint even when my blue balls were killing me. I could have easily kissed her on the lips, many times. Many, many times. I didn’t lack opportunity. Yet I never crossed that line. So how the hell would she think I’d do something like that?

To say I’m insulted is an understatement.

“Maybe I even hoped you would,” she adds in a soft, barely audible voice.

My eyes widen as I stare at her in shock.

“You what?” I croak.

Her lips tremble as she struggles to speak.

“Maybe if the choice was taken away from me, then I wouldn’t continue hoping for a miracle,” she confesses. “I know I’m chasing a myth, and while I’m skeptical about the existence of that Sanctuary, I’m also equally optimistic about it. Two warring emotions inside me with no resolution in sight. But you could have given me that resolution.”

“By raping you? By taking you by force?”

Another nod.

“I know it sounds bad. I’m sorry. I just… I’m tired of running away, Marlowe. I’m tired of waiting for something that may never come. But this stupid heart won’t let me stop hoping,” she cries out, banging her hand over her chest. Tears rim her eyes as she finally raises them to meet mine. “I’m just so tired…”

“Minnie…” I swallow.

“But you never did. I waited, tested the grounds, planted the seeds in your mind. But you never once pushed me too far.”

I’m rendered speechless, so she just continues. Her voice is soft, but hurt. There’s a grittiness to it that’s imbued with pain and frustration.

“You proved me time and again that you were the man I knew you were, even when I hoped you wouldn’t. Sounds rather paradoxical, doesn’t it?” She gives a dry laugh. “I both hate and admire you for that, you know…”

“Minnie, do you think me capable of something like that?” I ask, trying to choose my words carefully.

“No,” she says as she shakes her head. “Which is ironic considering you kill people.” She laughs. “Would I have wanted you to force me? I can’t say for sure. Would I have hated you for it? Perhaps. But all I know is that sometimes I wish I didn’t have to make any decision at all. I’d love to live for once, you know. Without the burden of fighting for my life; of one wrong choice that can condemn me to death…”

Her lips tip up in a sad smile. So sad it damn well pierces my heart.

“I’m sorry if my words upset you. Maybe I didn’t phrase it as well as I should have,” she continues. “It’s just something I’ve been struggling with.”

This is the first time I’ve heard the word struggle on Minnie’s lips.

Although I’ve only recently found out about her past and the fact that she’s being hunted, I’ve never once seen her down or pessimistic about her situation. In fact, ever since I first met her on the highway, with barely any clothes on her back and starving, she’s been nothing but cheery and bubbly about life, finding joy in everything around her.

I’ve been so wrapped up in her brightness that I failed to see the lurking shadows.

She’s been shouldering such a weight for so long… I can’t begin to imagine how hard it must have been for her.

I take a step forward. Then another until I stand before her, my arms wide open. She eyes me warily, but slowly, she reaches for me, nestling within my arms and letting me be the brightness to her shadows for once.

“You don’t need to make all the decisions anymore, Minnie. That’s why I’m here. But I will not take away your choice from you. I’ll merely share half the burden.”

A tremor goes down her body and a sob echoes in the stillness of the room.

I hold her tighter.

Her cries are soft at first, but slowly, they intensify until she’s bawling.

She cries and cries. I don’t interrupt her, not wanting to intrude on her grief. But I hold her throughout it all so that she knows that even when her feelings are out of control, I’ll be there to share her burden. I might not be able to take those emotions away, but I can be there for her as she slowly processes them.

How magnanimous of me.

For once, my instinct isn’t to kill, but to protect.

“How do you manage to surprise me at every turn?” she asks as she pulls back, her eyes clouded with tears.

I smirk.

“That’s my specialty,” I say and wink at her.

The ghost of a smile appears on her lips.

I’ve never been good at consoling people—not that I’ve tried before. But it seems I didn’t do such a poor job, and pride suffuses me at the thought that I can at least do this for her—put the smile back on her face.

“I was afraid you’d hate me for leading you on,” she whispers. “And you would have been within your rights to do so since I’ve hidden so much from you.”

“I could never hate you, Minnie. I might have wanted to kill you on occasion, though,” I joke.

She hits me playfully in the chest.

“Well, now you know I can’t die,” she fires back.

“Wouldn’t have stopped me from trying.” I shrug.

She blinks, then laughs. Tears are still rolling down her cheeks, but the sound of her laughter makes me sigh in relief.

“There you go again with your morbid thoughts.” She shakes her head in amusement.

“What’s wrong with them? In fact, since you can’t die, I could technically kill you and you’d come back to life. Think of it as foreplay.” I wiggle my brows suggestively at her.

“Marlowe!” she exclaims, scandalized.

“What? We can’t fuck, but we can play around with murder. Isn’t that a great idea?”

“I’m not sure killing me would qualify as a great idea,” she mumbles.

“Why not? I’d cut you here,” I say as I trace my fingers down her neck. “Then here,” I continue as I reach her chest. Going lower, I touch her lightly between her legs.

She draws in a sudden breath.

“I could cut you up until the pain becomes pleasure. Would that count as consummation? If I bring you to orgasm using a knife instead of my cock?”

She blushes furiously, and as she opens her mouth to speak, she stumbles over her words.

“I… That…”

“I’m joking, Minnie,” I add. She stares at me for a moment before she exhales in relief.

Or maybe I’m not joking.

I have to admit, I’ve never considered mixing murder and sex, but as the images flash inside my head, I can’t help the rush of arousal that flows to my cock.

Seeing Minnie naked, sprawled on the floor in a pool of blood while she’s writhing in pleasure might not be such a bad idea.

If only she thought so too…

My phone rings in my pocket. Taking it out, I note it’s Giles.

“Yes?”

“I have secured the remains. We are loading them on the jet as we speak. They should reach you sometime in the morning,” he states, cutting straight to the chase.

“Perfect. Good job, Giles.”

“You owe me one, Marlowe.” He chuckles.

“I’m letting you fuck my mother. I’d say we’re even,” I add drily and hang up.

Minnie is watching me with a perplexed expression on her face.

“What was that about?”

“A surprise.” I wink at her. “I have a very special surprise planned for you tomorrow.”

Her face lights up just like her former fiancé’s remains are going to light up in my furnace—after I desecrate them a bit more.

I might be a little mad at her for hiding so much from me, especially concerning her amorous past. But I’ll take my anger out on Lucien’s remains.

Ah, but the anticipation is killing me.

I just hope Minnie will be a good sport about it.