26. RAVEN

26

RAVEN

I never thought I’d be here.

Butcher. Me. Sonny. His eyes are full of apology when he stares wide-eyed at me while Butcher’s arm is wrapped around his neck, a gun barrel pressed to his temple.

Darkness doesn’t scare me. People do.

Maddy’s words echo in my mind, to the wild pounding of my heart as I lock eyes with Butcher and see nothing but darkness in those viciously sparkling eyes.

It should be me instead of Sonny.

“Butcher, don’t be stupid. Let’s talk,” I say as I step toward them.

There are trucks with armed men behind him. There are a dozen guards behind me. Guns are drawn. At any moment, the three of us can turn into dust if even one of the men snaps and fires.

There are explosions at Ayana, the sound of them shaking the ground. The night jungle is dark, but the flares above Ayana illuminate the sky with eerie colors, casting a glow on the trees around us.

This is war.

We are being viciously attacked.

But that’s not my priority. Neither is Ayana. Not anymore.

Sonny is. He is in Butcher’s arms. And I can’t take my eyes away from the little body being strangled by the thick arm of the man who scowls at me, triumphing at having a child as a human shield.

Scum.

“Butcher, let’s talk,” I shout, carefully stepping toward him and assessing what’s happening.

There are five men some distance behind him, their guns on me. Another dozen of them are on the trucks deeper in the jungle.

I have a bulletproof vest. I can handle bullets. Unless they hit my head.

But Sonny can’t. He’s their hostage.

My kid is a fucking hostage.

I see red. My blood boils. It pounds between my ears. But I have to be smart.

Think , I tell myself.

“Rave!” I hear behind me.

I snap my head back and see Maddy standing among the guards.

Fucking hell!

“Stay back!” I yell and push my arm back, my palm facing her, then I turn to Butcher. “What do you want?” I ask.

Glass crunches under my feet. The Molotov cocktails the kids threw—they scattered glass everywhere. The jungle is covered with it.

My arms raised, I carefully step forward, intending to cross the clearing between me and Sonny.

“Let’s negotiate, Butcher. We can resolve this.”

He chuckles, forty or so feet away from me, dragging Sonny another step back, the kid’s feet stumbling.

“You made a big mistake, Raven! I admired you. You were invincible. With all the hate I had toward you, I could never hurt you enough. But these two, your girl and the kid. Tsk-tsk-tsk. You fucked up, Raven! You put them in danger. Don’t you know the first rule of hard criminals? You don’t get weak spots. And look at you. You got two!”

He laughs, that mocking laughter that lacks any compassion.

“Let's see how far you will go,” he taunts. “Let's walk through glass and fire. And then we’ll see how slowly you will die for them.”

Suddenly, an explosion right in front of me blinds me, throwing me back, onto the ground, blasting my arm that shields my face with fire and shrapnel.

When the smoke clears, I get to my feet. My body is burning. My ears are buzzing.

Butcher, forty feet away, is cackling.

“Did you like that, Raven? How about another one?”

Another explosion right in front of me blinds me, making me cower, the side of my body pierced with shrapnel. Molotov fucking cocktail.

I wanna say it’s an attack. But if he wanted to hurt me, he’d throw a real grenade that would kill me. Instead, it’s all play for Butcher.

Motherfucker.

“What do you want?” I snarl through the smoke of the explosion that separates us. My eyes are burning. My skin is on fire. “Give me the kid, Butcher! He didn’t do anything!”

“You know what I want to see, Raven? You on all fours. Like a dog. Woof! Woof!”

His cackle fills the jungle.

I squint through the smoke as I raise my arms in the air and step toward him.

“Stop your games! Let’s make another deal, Butcher! Tell me what you want! I’ll make it happen! I’ll make you rich! Just give me the kid!”

“No way, Raven. You are not stupid. I’m done with deals. I make my own.” He digs the gun barrel into Sonny’s temple.

“Let him go!” I shout.

“Listen to me, Raven. And listen well. I will take Ayana. You have no way out of it. With all your guys and intel and stupid security, I have my ways. No escaping that. You lost!” he shouts, standing still amid the forest’s darkness.

The little fires from the explosions flicker off the ground between us. He is like the devil himself, rising from hell.

“I want one thing!” he says cheerfully. “One last thing from you. Before I see you go down, I want to see you on your knees.”

I know Maddy and a dozen guards are behind me. I know the guards can shoot any minute. I can’t falter. I can’t send the wrong signal. I can’t mess this up.

My eyes are on Sonny, locked with his.

“It’s all right,” I mouth, hoping he can understand. “It’s okay, buddy. It’s okay.”

His eyes are so big, so scared, so sad, so apologetic that my fucking heart breaks.

I shift my eyes to Butcher. “He’s just a kid. Let him go. I’ll do whatever you want.”

Butcher’s scowl widens. “Oh, you will. Ooooh, you will, Raven. Kneel.”

I look down. The ground is littered with glass, shiny in the moonlight and the guards’ spotlights.

“Kneel, Raven!” Butcher roars. “And crawl to me! Crawl to your boy! Before I blow his brains out!”

Sonny whimpers, his face wet, tears streaming down his cheeks.

Fuuuuck!

There’s nothing in the world that can hold me back. I have a flashback to the horrible night in the basement with Emily.

“I did it, Mathew. I did it. I got you. I got you,” she murmurs as she holds the bloody broken bottle in her hands, and our foster father’s body is splayed on the floor in a pool of blood.

My mind glitches. Blood pounds in my ears.

I can’t say no. I can’t. It’s a sacrifice. For the little dude. For everything I hold dear. Skiba failed, but Butcher wants an execution.

A shot pierces the air. Something suddenly hits my chest like a knife going a hundred miles an hour, jerking me backward.

Butcher’s gun is pointing at me. He fucking shot me in the bulletproof vest!

I turn my head over my shoulder. “Don’t shoot!” I yell to the guards and turn back to Butcher.

“Oops! I missed!” He cackles, but his cheerful, psychotic expression turns into an angry scowl. “Crawl.” He nods to the ground.

Eyes locked with Sonny, I sink to my knees.

The immediate pain of glass piercing my knees is maddening, and I grit my teeth. They use needles for torture, did you know that? They are more effective than punches, because they hit more nerve endings.

But I breathe deeply, forcing myself to be calm as I look at Sonny.

He snaps his eyes shut, tears streaming, then opens his eyes again.

“It’s okay,” I mouth.

“All fours,” Butcher taunts.

I cannot not obey.

Butcher raises his gun and shoots in the air, then presses the barrel to Sonny’s head, making him flinch.

No sound comes from behind me. The guards don’t move. Good. I’m grateful. I can handle this.

Suddenly, Butcher points the gun at me and fires, sharp pain tearing at my shoulder, throwing me back.

“Noooo!” Maddy’s scream behind me tears through the air.

“Bingo!” Butcher shouts. “Crawl!”

Blood rushes to my brain. Sharp pain saturates my shoulder. He fucking shot me. The vest didn’t save me.

How many more bullets will come until one hits my head?

But there’s no way back.

“Come on, Raven!” he taunts.

I peel my eyes open, fighting through pain, and bring my palms to the ground. My head raised, eyes on Butcher, I grunt through the pain as the glass shards sink into my flesh.

Butcher’s brows tick. “There you go!” He lifts his chin. “Crawl!” he drawls.

Fuck.

I grit my teeth and keep my eyes on Butcher as I take the first move forward, and my knees and palms are pierced with dozens more pinching sparks as I crawl through the glass field.

The pain is piercing, spiderwebbing through my entire body like zaps of electricity as shards of sharp glass dig into my flesh, cutting into it.

“Oh, yeah. Keep going,” Butcher taunts.

Forty feet. I can do it. The pain is sharp. I want to howl at the unbelievable sharpness of it cutting and slicing through my flesh.

“Caaah-mon!” Butcher encourages me.

My palms get slick with blood. When you feel blood coming out, your brain already creates a scenario. You don’t think of what’s happening to your flesh—that’s how you manage wounds.

So I look ahead.

Slowly, I crawl farther.

Every time my palms make contact with the ground, one after another, new pain shoots through my flesh, then my entire body. My shoulder aches like a motherfucker.

“One more for the ride!” Butcher shouts.

Another shot zips through the air, and a sharp pain pierces my neck, snapping my body backward.

“Fuck,” I grunt, wobbling on all fours.

“Raaaaaave!” It’s Sonny. I look at him, and his eyes are wide, so wide with fear as he cries uncontrollably, watching me.

I feel dizzy. Something floods the neckline of my vest—blood. My neck is injured. I pray that it’s not an artery and I can make it to where my little dude is.

Sweat drips down my face, but I can’t get distracted. I move faster. I see Butcher’s face, scowling. “Good, Raven. Good. What a sport! Woof-woof!”

And then he howls.

He’s crazy. He’s reckless. I’m twenty feet away. If only I could get to Butcher’s gun, I could shoot him through the head. I would. No hesitation.

“Ra-a-a-ave,” Sonny whimpers.

Never did I want to hear that plea. But I keep crawling, soil mixed with glass already embedded in my skin and new shards cutting into it, creating a concoction that rips my nerve sensors to pieces. I feel like I’m crawling on fire.

I move my hands forward, grunting as new pieces of glass dig into my skin, pushing the ones before that deeper, into the bone.

I look at Butcher, his gun pressing at Sonny’s temple, then shifting to point at me. “Crawl.”

There’s a tiny moment between the shift of his gun from Sonny to me. If only I could get that moment right.

Ten feet.

I’m almost at their feet. The next shot might be in my head, but I hope it’s mine, not the kid’s.

I lock eyes with Sonny.

“Snake,” I grunt through the pain as I crawl through glass.

Sonny’s brows scrunch in faint recognition of the word. Or so I hope.

“Snake,” I hiss.

Butcher smirks. But I’m not saying it to him. I’m saying this for Sonny. He needs to try to get away from him.

I burrow my gaze at Sonny as I crawl. “Ssssnake,” I repeat.

His eyes suddenly freeze on me. His sobs halt. I pray that he is inconspicuous. I pray he has my Swiss Army knife in his pocket.

I crawl closer, my palms on fire against the broken glass. I’m sweating. I’m getting dizzy. Butcher couldn’t have shot my artery because I would’ve bled to death by now. I’m still alive. I can take him.

I see Sonny sliding a hand in his pocket.

Good boy. Do it.

I shift my eyes to Butcher. “You know what your problem is, Butcher?” I crawl another foot closer.

“Oh? Enlighten me!”

“You have a small island mentality. You are not a businessman. You are a headman at best.”

Butcher smirks and juts his chin at me. “Crawl.”

I move another shaky foot forward, only seven or so feet away from him. In my peripheral, I see Sonny fisting his hand close to his leg. He tries to move, but Butcher jerks him closer, a gun barrel still pressed to his temple.

Easy , I tell Butcher, sweat dripping in my face. I need him to point his gun at me, but ideally, somewhere else.

“You are not fit to be in charge of a business, Butcher,” I say to keep his attention on me. My head is dizzy. I know I’m losing a lot of blood. “It’s simple, really. You could’ve stayed in your lane, made deals, taken care of your people. But no, you had to go after Ayana.”

His gaze hardens. I know he wants to put another bullet in me. His hold on Sonny loosens. Good.

“And Ayana is a whole different breed,” I snarl through pain as I move slowly, pushing on my tiptoes for leverage, leaning on my cut-up hands so I can push myself up when needed. “You wouldn’t know what to do with it once you got it. Your brain is too small.”

Butcher’s hold on Sonny loosens even more as he brings all his attention to me. “Just fucking look at you, Mathew Levi. You are a beautiful sight!” He laughs like a maniac. “Crawling but still so fucking cocky. Once you are here, at my feet, I will make you lick my boots. And then I will shoot your boy right in the face. Right in front of you. Then I will get my men to crucify you. It will be glorious. And while you are bleeding to death, I will burn Ayana to ashes. What a sight!”

His gun is shaking. It’s loose. It’s slowly shifting lower, away from Sonny’s face and at me.

“You won’t ever get a chance,” I grit out.

Butcher slowly shifts the gun to point at me. “You still don’t understand who is in charge here. This is my fucking island.”

He is spitting poison. But right now, I’m only four or so feet away, looking up at him, holding his gaze hostage, his gun pointing down at my head.

“You are a fucking rat, Butcher. A rodent,” I snarl, noticing his expression darken. “You are”—I shift my eyes at Sonny—“a snake.”

In a flash, Sonny raises his fist and jams the Swiss Army knife into Butcher’s thigh.

Butcher wails, his hand with the gun dropping low in reflex.

I spring to my feet and throw myself between him and Sonny, then tackle Butcher onto the ground.

A shot pierces the air.

Pain grazes my arm.

But I put all my weight into Butcher.

Fuck him. Fuck his empire.

My hands and knees are on fire. My ears ring. I pull back and slam my fist as hard as I can into Butcher’s nose, hoping to cave his face in. I punch him again, sweat blinding me. He shifts, and suddenly another shot goes off, cutting into me with sharp pain in the middle of my chest, through the vest.

I keep punching and punching until suddenly, everything around me starts spinning, and I fall onto the ground next to Butcher.

There’s a commotion and shouting. Shots are fired. But the sound reverberates, replicates in the strangest way right next to me, deafening me.

Bam-bam-bam-bam-bam.

Butcher’s body is shaken like a rag doll by many bullets.

“Sonny, Sonny,” I murmur, everything suddenly so dark that I’m afraid I’m finally losing it.

Hard collective footsteps go past me. Men yell all around. Gunshots fire in quick succession.

I try to get up but collapse. I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand and hope to see Sonny.

But it’s her , Maddy. She stands like a dark angel, just a little away from me, a gun in her hand pointing at Butcher. And she fires it again. And again. My Electra. With a gun.

Aristotle said, “Evil destroys even itself.” But Aristotle might be wrong, because occasionally, angels destroy evil. I have one.

Guards rush toward us from all directions, others pointing guns into the jungle where Butcher’s backup was.

I want to get up, but my body doesn’t listen. The pain shoots through my entire body like a grenade. My neck feels like it’s slashed with a knife.

“Sonny,” I whisper.

Maddy’s face appears right above me, but her voice is distant, muffled, "Sonny is right here. Sonny, baby, hold here. You need to apply pressure to this wound. One hand. The other one here. It’s just blood, baby.”

My little dude’s face appears right next to her, his long, messy hair shining in the guards’ spotlight like a halo.

"Was I too late, Maddy?" he asks.

"You were great. It was a bad guy. Now we need to save Raven."

She turns away. “We need help!” she shouts. “Help!” She turns to me again. “Hold up, baby. It will be all right. We got you.”

I want to touch her, but I’m afraid. My palms are like prickly gloves, covered in broken glass, swollen, bleeding. I hope I make it.

In Jainism, plants are believed to have souls. When I’m reborn, I want to be a flower in Maddy’s garden so I can feel her hands on me every day when she gardens, soak in her caring gaze, see her sunshine smile, and hear her hum songs under her breath.

I try to keep my eyes open, but the energy is draining from me. Maddy hovers over me, says something, but I can’t make out the words. She shouts at someone, I think for help, her silhouette against the blazing fire in the background like that of a guardian angel. Or maybe I’m hallucinating. She is it. She is my present and future, and I wish I had the strength to get up and stand next to her.

My throat feels too dry. “Maddy, save me,” I whisper.

Her face is closer now. I think she strokes mine, her kind eyes on me. “I got you, baby. Just stay with me.”

“Please, save me,” I whisper. “I want so much more time with you.”

Both their hands are on me, Maddy’s and Sonny’s. It hurts. But at least my two favorite people are by my side when I close my eyes and fall into darkness.