15. RAVEN

15

RAVEN

There are still shots echoing behind us. Most of them come from Ayana guards and men dressed in military garb that doesn’t belong to Ayana. They are blasting Butcher’s thugs, diverting their attention from Shepherd’s team, which is retreating toward Port Mrei. Shepherd has Tsariuk’s satellite phone, so we can keep in touch in the future.

Guards surround Ali and me, and the women and kids, and usher us toward the side-by-sides waiting for us. The jungle is dark, the only lights coming from the guards’ headlamps. Some of them are still wearing night-vision. But I know we are in Ayana-controlled territory. The chaos is way behind us.

We made it. We fucking made it out of Port Mrei.

The guards sign and shout for us to keep moving.

“How many?” one asks us.

“Two men, five women, four children,” I reply.

“All here!” the guard shouts to someone. “Let’s move out!”

“Got them all,” another reports into the radio as Ali and I help the women and children onto the side-by-sides.

Safe-safe-safe , the thought pounds in my head, reeling in the excitement that we made it. We fucking made it to our territory and brought the kids with us.

We pile into the six-seater with Candy and another woman.

“We got the kids and the rest!” another guard shouts.

“Move!”

Wind is blasting in our faces as we follow several other vehicles loaded with armed guards in special operation gear.

Fuck, we are going home.

And that’s when it hits me. Ayana never felt like home. It was just a place. Until Maddy. Until Sonny. You don’t realize why you call a place home until it has the people you come back to, always come back to, at your worst and your best. The people you want to share your most profound moments with.

Ali grunts in the back seat. I see him hiding his shoulder. “Did you get hurt?”

He only grunts in response.

“Let me see,” the girl next to him says. The all-terrain vehicle shakes as it hits the bumps at full speed. But without listening to his objections, the girl turns to Ali and rips his shirt open at the shoulder.

“Yep, you got hit, my friend,” she announces. She rips his sleeve off, then, using her teeth, rips it into a strip and ties it above the wound. “You gonna make it, soldier?”

“Yeah, thanks,” Ali says.

He will. We all will—Candy and others from the club, the young girl from the headquarters, and four little girls.

It’s dark but already smells familiar, wet jungle and flowers, devoid of stench, as we approach the main Ayana entrance. A wave of relief washes over me so powerfully that I almost feel like passing out. My body suddenly feels slack from all the tension in the last twelve hours. More importantly, I can feel her, Maddy, almost in my arms. And now my mind is racing, my body burning with the anticipation and… nervousness.

The parking lot and garden in front of the Center are brightly lip up and crowded with guards and IT personnel.

Archer is the first person who runs up to us when our side-by-side comes to a stop.

“Hey, man,” he says as I get out, and before I can say anything, he pulls me into a hug. “I’m sorry,” he says, squeezing me so hard that my stab wound starts aching. “I’m sorry I was too late back then. Sorry, man. So fucking sorry,” he whispers.

I pull away and meet the look that I never encountered on Archer, maybe, except when he is with Kat—he is emotional, sort of amazed, studying my face and entire body. It’s awkward, really, so I pat him on the shoulder. “No worries, man. All good. Thanks for bringing us back.” I motion toward Ali. “He needs medical attention right now.”

“I’m on it.” Archer walks off, shouting to someone for medical aid.

Another person slams into me out of nowhere, his arms wrapping around me in a hug. “Thank fucking God, man. You’re back.”

It’s Kai.

I’m surprised and overwhelmed with all this attention. “Take care of Candy and the rest, yeah?” I say as I pull away. “She trusts you.”

“On it, man.” He starts backing away. “Thanks!” He nods in Candy’s direction with a grateful smile.

Bishop is the next one who hugs me and ruffles my hair. “You’re fucking Superman, or Duncan MacLeod. Don’t know. But welcome back.”

Ortiz is more diplomatic than others and shakes my hand.

But all these people are not what I need right now, and I turn around, searching for Maddy.

“Rave! Ra-ave!” the loud yelling pierces the air.

Sonny is pushing between those standing in his way as he races toward me with the speed of lightning.

I barely have time to smile as he pretty much jumps into my arms. I catch him, his little arms and legs wrap around me, and it’s suddenly hard to breathe because there’s a lump in my throat. No one—no one since Emily—has ever greeted me this way.

“You here! You made it!” He’s wrapped around me like a monkey, his chokehold around my neck too strong for his age. His long hair gets in my face, in my eyes, in my mouth. “You left without saying goodbye. And you didn’ call. And I missed you.” He talks so fast that I chuckle. “And Maddy kept the light on for you all this time. At your place. I showed her the u-u-universe. On the ceiling. She said when you come back, we study it together. And you came!”

My little dude is talking a mile a second, still clinging to me. I’m slightly embarrassed that I’m still holding him in my arms in front of everyone, though this shouldn’t feel embarrassing. This is normal, right? The kid is just happy to see me, and so am I.

But the guards around me chuckle and exchange smiles as they smoke. Archer is laughing, and Bishop is shaking his head with a grin.

And I fucking blush when Marlow approaches, shouting so that everyone can hear. “That’s a proper welcome! That’s right, Sonny! Show him!” And Sonny pulls away, raises his little fists above our heads, and shouts, “He’s baaaaaack!”

Now everyone is laughing, making my face catch on fire.

I’m stealing glances at the crowd, searching for Maddy, as I set Sonny down and sit down on my haunches so I can be on his level.

“I’m sorry I was away,” I say.

“’S okay.” He grins at me, pushing his hair out of his face. “You went for work, right?”

“Yeah. And I didn’t have my phone.”

He squints at me in suspicion. “Sneaky.” And he breaks out in laughter.

“Where’s Maddy?” I ask.

“There!” He swings his arm and stabs the air with his forefinger toward a group farthest from us.

Then I see her.

She stands among men I don’t recognize except for the older man behind her, Aleksei Tsariuk.

But I don’t want to think about him right now. All I see is her.

My heart thuds nervously against my chest as I straighten up and take the first steps toward her.

Why is she standing so far away? Why is she not coming over like the others?

It’s the first time since I was gone that I wonder, fearfully, if maybe I am a fool. One night, just one night, was how long we spent together after our breakup. Evening until dawn. Talking and making out and figuring out things and talking about the feelings, or at least a fraction of them. Did I blow it out of proportion in my mind? Did I give it more meaning than it actually had? Or is she too cautious around her father?

I spent so much time in the bunker that a big part of it was reliving that one night and the two months we spent together. I talked to Maddy in my mind. I thought about the future, a future with her and the little guy.

Maybe I got carried away.

The pang in my heart grows as I slowly walk in Maddy’s direction and take in her hesitant eyes and the way she hugs her middle with her arms, slightly stooping.

Scared? Trying to keep her distance?

But as I get closer, I notice her face. No, not scared. Oh, man. Tears are streaming down her face, and she’s biting her lip.

And then she starts taking slow steps toward me, too, and mine quicken, and so do hers, and the last ten feet between us disappear in a second as we meet in the middle. Suddenly her arms fly around my neck, and I scoop her into my arms and hold her to me so tightly that I think I’m going to pass out. From her closeness. And how tightly she hugs me back. And the slight pang in my wound, reminding me what this cost me. But mostly from the wild thought that I have her, finally, again, with me.

I close my eyes and disregard the voices around us and everyone else staring. I can hold her like this forever and drown in her scent. This is the first time we are so close to each other in public. The first time she shows that she cares, sobbing, her face buried in the crook of my neck.

“You are back,” she whispers.

The world around us falls off and disappears. No, I wasn’t imagining things about us.

“Hello, beautiful,” I murmur, and another sob escapes her, and then another, her chest shaking against me. And then she’s full-on sobbing, whispering, “They thought you were gone. They didn’t say that, but everyone thought it. And I didn’t believe them. And I waited. And waited. And waited. And I missed you so fucking much.”

Every word is followed by a sob, and I open my eyes, lower her to her feet, and pull back so I can look into her beautiful eyes. They are full of tears, her face soaked.

“Shh,” I say. “Why are you crying, Maddy baby?”

I palm her face, and she laughs through tears, and I bow my head, touching my forehead to hers, as I gaze into her eyes and realize one thing.

Maddy and I were always meant to be. When we burned, we burned together. When we ached, we did so together. When I thought my feelings were going overboard, turned out so were hers. When feelings consumed me, she was obsessed, too. We cared for each other. We cared for the kid. We both were raised with a degree of violence. We both learned to fight it. We were so different, but in essence, we saw in each other the things we were missing, and we clicked. We melted into one. Carbon and pressure make diamonds, and we are both. We are brilliant, so fucking brilliant together.

“It’s all right. I’m back,” I whisper.

She palms my face too. “You’d b-better not d-do this to me again, Rave,” she murmurs with a sniffle.

“I won’t,” I promise. And she stands on her tiptoes and kisses me in front of every-fucking-one around.

I gotta tell you something. I’m not a prude. Nor am I shy. But I never publicly showed any display of affection. And Maddy’s kiss is not shy. Nor is it soft. It’s ravishing. It’s greedy. It’s sloppy. It’s crazy. She kisses me like she’s been deprived of oxygen, and I’m finally the source of life.

I chuckle in surprise when I pull back. But she doesn’t smile. She just studies me with a soft gaze like I’ve been missing for years, and my appearance changed.

Someone clears their throat, and we let our hands fall off each other. Maddy turns to look at the man standing behind us.

Papa Tsariuk.

I lock eyes with him. It’s hot and humid, but the sight of him is sobering. White button-up with rolled-up sleeves. Shorts. He is the same height as me but looks somehow bigger and way more intimidating than on camera.

“Dad, Raven,” Maddy says, wiping away tears and smiling, her eyes darting between the two of us.

I nod, offering my hand. “Mr. Tsariuk.”

His handshake is strong, his gaze somewhat lethal, but quietly lethal, like poison in a capsule. One wrong move, and it can burst. Or maybe, that’s just how I’ve always felt about him. Do I care now? Not a bit. I don’t give a fuck. I just want to be with Maddy.

He doesn’t study me head to toe. His eyes never leave mine. And he doesn’t let my hand go. It’s bizarre. Like he’s profiling me.

“I’m glad you made it safe,” he says.

“Thank you for your help,” I reply.

When he finally lets go of my hand, he slowly blinks away, and his eyes are on Sonny, who’s watching us with a grin.

Mr. Ortiz and Bishop walk up, taking Tsariuk’s attention from us.

Maddy cups my face and kisses me again.

“He might break my legs for you doing this, no?” I ask with a smile, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her into me.

She breaks out in easy laughter.

Tsariuk suddenly turns to look over his shoulder at us. But he’s not looking at me or my arms around her shoulders. He’s looking at his daughter laughing, and his brutally Eastern European expression softens.