Lambton

Lambton

5 July 1812 Lambton, Derbyshire

Dearest Jane and Mary,

Another day. Another mortifying experience! At the rate things are going here in Derbyshire, I am seriously regretting coming hither instead of remaining home in Cheapside for the summer. I must own however that there is at least some amusement to be had, though it will be your amusement at my expense I am afraid. You will be astounded at the ill luck of my latest escapade.

I was visiting the local bookshop which, as you know, is owned by a very old and dear friend of Aunt Gardiner. Aunt and Uncle were off visiting acquaintances a few miles from Lambton, and I was looking forward to a few hours of solitude to read my new purchases.

As I was returning to the inn with my latest volumes, I came around the corner of a smithy and you will not believe who I encountered!

My feeling of comfort and safety in Lambton was quite overrated, as on a very narrow lane, I walked headlong into none other than Mr Bingley , accompanied by Mr Darcy and his sister!

I tried my best to pretend I had not seen them and move past, but the lane was too narrow, and I was too far from the corner to manage it credibly. Thus, I was forced to exhibit at least the minimal civilities; much as it pained me .

As I mentioned before, Mr Darcy’s estate is but five miles away, but I had felt confident he would not be wandering around this village.

Jane, you will chastise me for saying this, but the encounter taught me something that will be of much use to you if you still have any small portion of your heart engaged. Mr Bingley is a simpleton! There you have it, and you can be happy you are not saddled with him.

How do I come to this conclusion, one might ask? Because he greeted me as if we were old friends, as if nothing happened and we had simply not seen each other for a while. He blathered on for a good minute or two about how delighted he was to see me. He even named the exact date of our last encounter and the number of elapsed months (26 November and eight months as it turns out). He even asserted that he could not remember a happier time than when we were all together at Netherfield, which seems at odds with the fact that he ran from the place as if it were infested.

The whole thing was perplexing, and I hardly knew how to react. Nothing in my life, even Mr Collins’s proposal, prepared me for dealing with such wilful obstinacy.

After a few minutes, he asked the most peculiar question of all! He asked if all the Bennet sisters were still at Longbourn, which seemed an odd question, and in all these eight months, he not made the slightest effort to know anything of us. I assumed Mr Darcy must have told him about our two encounters in town, so it seems clear at least one of the sisters has been from home.

I confess I had a bit of sport of him, going through the status for Lydia, Kitty and Mary in thorough and tedious detail, followed by a minute description of Lydia’s trip to Brighton, then my travels (omitting Matlock for obvious reasons). I quite deliberately blathered on for a good five minutes and was sure to make frequent and copious references to my residence in Cheapside .

Naturally, I completely neglected to mention Jane at all. Not a single word. He did not seem to have the nerve to ask directly, so I just left him wondering. Jane, if he truly wants to know your status, all he needs do is return to his own estate, or even just ride through Meryton and stop at the inn for a flagon.

I was then forced to accept an introduction to Miss Darcy and pretend to talk cordially with Mr Darcy and his sister for a moment or two. I don’t know if I mentioned it before, but Miss Darcy is tall and pretty, but so shy it would take a mule with half a dozen ropes to drag a conversation out of her. Is Miss de Bourgh like that? Miss Darcy appears to be the perfect foil to Mr Bingley, who cannot seem to shut up; and I am certain Miss Bingley will never wed so the three of them shall make a merry party.

After a few minutes of this agony, I begged off, citing Aunt and Uncle awaiting me. I felt a tiny bit guilty about the blatancy of the lie, but I am certain my conscience will recover.

Mr Darcy exerted himself to not stare at me with quite the level of malevolence I have become accustomed to, and even said a few words; so perhaps absence has moderated his disapprobation or softened his manners.

With that, I made my curtsies and walked around them. Before I left though, I was feeling quite generous, so I thought I should show the lot of them that the Bennet sisters are well mannered and benevolent.

As I started walking away, I observed that they were a very handsome couple, and I wished them much felicity together.

They looked perplexed by the statement, so they probably did not know I was aware of their relationship; but by then I had quite enough of their company so I simply hurried away before any of them could reply.

Your most sarcastic sister, Elizabeth