Chapter Twenty-Eight

GIVING BIRTH WAS HELL. All the things you watched and read said if you were calm and breathed through it, it would be a beautiful and relaxing experience. Talk about a bunch of bullshit. It was like someone was slicing me open with a soldering iron while continually stabbing me in the stomach with a hot knife.

I began to bawl as the baby crowned. It was such immense pain.

“I can’t. I can’t.” I just wanted it to stop.

“You’re so close. The head, it’s right there. The very top of it.”

“Oh, God. Oh, God.” I groaned as another wave of torture hit me. Screaming, I bore down as I tore open, agony shooting through me as I was boiling to death in the back of the damn truck. Letting out a wail, I pushed as a bunch of birds flew overhead, squawking. My bra was dripping wet, along with the rest of me. The sleeping bag below was pooling with sweat and other juices that leaked from my body.

“More, baby. More, baby, Max.”

I whimpered and gasped as I had to push again. Crying out, I continued to bear down. The damn baby didn’t want to exit my body. When the contraction ended, I shook my head. “It’s not working. It’s not working.”

“It is, sugar. It’s a slow process, but the baby is coming.”

“Oh, God, no,” I yelled as I had to push again. I kept screaming and pushing, and after about ten more minutes, I felt even worse pain, which was almost unimaginable because it was already awful enough, but it leveled up.

I wailed and pushed as the baby ripped me in two.

“Keep pushing,” Bauer shouted.

I focused—blinking sweat out of my eyes.

“Push, Max, push.”

Bearing down, I bit my lip, groaning and straining, and then a wave of agony that almost made me pass out washed over me. Then there was a rush of relief.

Bauer cheered. “Our baby. Our baby. The head is out.”

Breathing heavily, another contraction consumed me, and I had to push again.

“Here comes baby,” Bauer yelled.

With one more push, I got a weird slimy feeling, and Bauer wooted. Our baby was born. Bauer held up the baby and placed them on my chest. I put my hand on their wet purple back and closed my eyes, still shaking, my whole bottom region throbbing. Bauer tied off the umbilical cord on both ends and then cut it with a small pair of scissors he had.

“Wow, just wow.” He held up the cord. “I’m in awe of you.”

I smiled but didn’t have a lot of words because I was exhausted.

“Our baby.” Bauer gently stroked the baby’s head. “What should we name him?”

I looked down at our little guy and remembered a conversation we had earlier. “Lincoln.”

He smiled from ear to ear. “Our baby, Lincoln.”

Lincoln was smacking his little lips. “I guess I should feed him.”

“Yeah, looks like a hungry little guy.”

I pulled the baby near my chest and held his head in one hand and my breast in the other. I gulped. I was about to feed a little person that just came out of me with my own body. I drew the baby closer, and he opened wide. I guided my nipple into his mouth, and he latched on. He began tugging on my breast right away. I hissed at the sting and his fervor.

“Look at that.,” Bauer said, watching the baby and me.

I grimaced at the discomfort—not just at the baby eating but the fact that I was sweaty and cold at the same time. The sun was so hot, and I was sitting in a wet puddle of goo, and my stomach was beginning to cramp again for some reason.

“Oh,” I said as my abdomen tightened. “Oh.”

“Holy shit, the placenta.”

I licked my lips and nodded, blowing out a breath. I didn’t know you had contractions when the placenta came out.

Bauer breathed along with me as our baby gulped down what my body had to offer. The food he would depend on during his first months.

“Should I take the baby?” he asked.

“I think it should come out in a push or two.”

“Will you feel pressure like with the baby?”

“I don’t think so. I honestly don’t know.” I winced because the contractions were just as bad as they were with the regular labor.

I held firmly to Lincoln as an awful pressure washed over me. Welp, it turned out that delivering placenta was just like having a baby. Milk leaked from my other breast, soaking my already wet bra as Lincoln gobbled down. I pushed and pushed and began to feel a bit lightheaded.

“Max, sugar.”

I cried out as my stomach hardened. I blew out a breath and bore down, shaking so badly as pain seared through me.

“Holy shit, you need water before you pass out.”

I licked my parched lips. “Bauer.”

“I have to find you water.”

I bawled as I bore down, gripping my thigh so tight, blinking my eyes. “No.”

“I have to. You and the baby will be safe here. I don’t know what will happen if you pass out and can’t push out the placenta.

Tears rolled down my cheeks. I knew he was right, but I also knew it meant he had to leave me.