Max

BAUER WAS OVER AGAIN BECAUSE HE BASICALLY NOW lived at my house even though he had a perfectly nice apartment. He gave me little kisses all over my face.

I pushed him away. “You’re like a puppy.”

“A puppy who can’t get enough of you.”

“You might be growing on me.”

“I know I sure do make things on you grow.” He cupped between my legs in his palm.

“That’s not the only thing. I think I’m just getting more bloated. We’ve tried everything, and nothing helped.” I took all sorts of fiber to make sure my system wasn’t stopped up. I watched what I ate. I cut back on the gluten. I hadn’t had a bakery item in forever.

“How long has this been going on?”

“A couple months.”

“How long after we had sex did you start bloating?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know, a few weeks.”

“Did I give you some kind of sexually transmitted disease?” he asked, scratching the side of his head.

“I don’t think STDs bloat you, and besides, you had just gotten tested,” I pointed out.

He sighed. “Then what?”

“Gluten? Dairy? That would suck because I love granola and milk.”

“Still barfing?”

“Not quite as much since I’ve cut back on the gluten. I had all the symptoms. Still have some. Nausea, fatigue, bloating, vomiting, headaches, but I think if I keep at it, it’ll get better.”

“Well, maybe you’re getting better. I don’t know why you don’t just see a doctor.” Bauer grabbed my laptop since I still had it out because my course had just ended. He did a few online searches.

He looked from the computer screen to me. “It does say muscle aches are a sign of the symptoms of gluten intolerance.”

“Pectorals?” I asked, pressing on my chest with my fingertips.

“They are muscles. We might have to start working on those muscles.”

I punched his shoulder. “Hey, asshole, but yeah. Soon I’m going to have man boobs.”

“I can’t date somebody with man boobs,” he said with a laugh.

“So shallow.”

“Dad bod.”

“It’s considered sexy.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Not fitting into your jeans is sexy?”

“My jeans still fit, shithead, but that reminds me, I have to go buy new dress pants. I hope my dad doesn’t notice. I have to attend a fundraiser in a couple of weeks.”

“Do you have a plus one?” He closed the laptop and put it on the coffee table.

“I was going to bring this guy I was seeing.”

He smiled and sat up straight. “Me?”

“Nope.”

“Oh.” His face fell.

I laughed. “Bauer, I’m joking. Be my plus one?”

“Sure you want me there?”

“I am, but to my dad, just friends,” I said, my chest constricting a bit. I didn’t want to put Bauer in such a position, but my father didn’t leave me much choice.

“Okay, friend I have sex with that’s falling for me but doesn’t want to admit it.”

I crossed my arms over my chest. “I can easily uninvite you.”

“Friends, fine,” he said, holding his hands in the air like he was surrendering. “This friend suggests seeing a doctor.”

“Maybe after the fundraiser.”