5.

B ELLA

I looked up from my desk when Holly walked in and smiled when I saw her daughters trailing behind her. They made a beeline for the drawer where they knew I kept snacks hidden, and Holly just shook her head when I moved my chair aside a little bit to give them room.

“Why do I even try to teach them manners?” Holly asked.

“This is a safe space, and all kids know that this drawer was meant for them,” I said primly, as if I was waiting on Holly to argue.

“I’m just glad they’re entertained. I brought them into the office with me because they’ve got an appointment right before lunch, and now I remember why that’s such a bad idea.”

I looked down when Jiana . . . or Jada, I was never quite sure which was which, tapped my leg. She handed me a sucker and whispered, “Pease?”

“Of course, sweet girl,” I said before I unwrapped it and handed it back to her.

The other twin took off through the door with her candy and yelled, “Tank you!”

“See? They’ve got manners!” I argued in the twins’ defense.

Holly sat down in the chair across from my desk, and we listened to the twins chattering at each other out in the hallway before Holly asked, “Did you and Dylan ever have your own special language?”

“Mom and Dad have mentioned that we used to babble to each other and then giggle, so I guess maybe we did. We aren’t identical, so I’m not sure if that makes a difference. I should ask Matteo if he and his brother had their own language,” I said as I picked up my phone.

“How is that going?”

“It’s kind of refreshing. I know it’s long-distance, but in a way, I think that’s a good thing. We’re really getting to know each other without the pressure of getting dressed up for dates or making plans to introduce him to the masses. Since we don’t know any of the same people, we’ve always got something to talk about or a relationship to explain.”

“That makes sense,” Holly agreed. “Any idea when you’re going to see him again?”

“I’m not sure.” I admitted. “We've been talking about it, mostly jokingly, but haven’t made any firm plans.”

“You should. I’ve never seen you this interested in a guy before.”

“Do you think I’m so hyped about him because he’s far away and an unknown entity?”

“Think about it, Bella. Almost every man you’ve ever dated has been someone you’ve known your entire life. That’s the joy and the drawback of living in a town like Rojo. You know almost everyone, and even if you don’t know them, you probably know someone that does. There’s really no mystery in it.”

“You’re right. As much as I enjoy talking to him, it sort of makes me sad because I know there’s no future in it.”

“What makes you say that?”

“He lives in New York, and I live here.”

“Are you glued down? Is he?”

“He sort of is because of his . . . um . . . family obligations.”

Holly narrowed her eyes and asked, “What kind of family obligations?”

“I guess I’m gonna have to learn to say it out loud if I’m going to keep this thing with him going.”

“Say what out loud?”

“His family is in the mafia. The Italian mafia, to be specific.”

Holly leaned forward and tilted her head before she said, “Say again?”

“You heard me.”

She laughed and shook her head before she said, “Obviously, I didn’t because I could have sworn you said he was in the mafia.”

“Not just in the mafia, Holly. I think he is the mafia.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, he told me to google him while we were talking at the wedding the first time we met, so I did a deep dive as soon as I got home and found all sorts of information about him and his family. I haven’t asked him specifically because I’m sure that’s not something he can talk about on the phone, but I think he’s the head of his family.”

“His mafia crime family.”

“Maybe they’re not into crime,” I argued half-heartedly.

“Isn’t that a requirement?”

“Is it?”

“Oh . . .” Holly chuckled as she shook her head. “Your mom is going to shit, Bella.”

“I would imagine that everyone in my family might have something to say about it,” I mused. “Why do you think Mom will have the worst reaction?”

“You were still young, but you’ve probably heard about what happened with Liberty, right?”

“There was a big falling out, and Mom didn’t go to their wedding. Is that what you’re talking about?”

“Do you know what the argument was about?”

“Not really,” I said with a shrug. “Apparently, they got past it ages ago because they’re all chill with each other now.”

“From what I remember - and this was all just stuff I overheard the grownups talking about - your mom and Aunt Violet didn’t want Liberty to marry Luke because he was a biker.”

I burst out laughing and said, “That’s funny because I’m technically a biker.”

“Your mom has come a long way,” Holly said, joining my laughter. “If she was that against Liberty marrying a biker, can you imagine how she’ll feel about her daughter marrying into the mafia? For that matter, how do you think anyone’s mom would feel knowing their daughter is dating someone in the mafia, especially if he’s the don or whatever they call it.”

“I never even thought of what my parents might think, but I’m a grown-ass woman and make my own decisions.”

“You’re a grown-ass woman who respects her parents and wouldn’t ever want to hurt them.”

“That too,” I mumbled.

“Now, tell me this guy’s name so I can go look him up and get all the dirt.”

“Matteo Russo. He’s part of The Four Families of New York City.”

“That sounds very mafia.”

“I know, right?”

“You’re going to have to tell your parents.”

“We just met!”

“But if it’s going to go forward, they’ll find out, so why not nip it in the bud and tell them now?”

“Because I’m not sure it can go anywhere, Holly. My life is here. My job is here. My family is here. And what about the club? I can’t just up and leave the Queens.”

“Wasn’t Rain a nomad for a long time? Can’t you do that?”

“I can, but do I want to?”

“Depends on how into this guy you get, I suppose. Just hear me when I say this, Bella. If he’s the one, it won’t matter how far you have to go or who you have to piss off because every second with him will be worth it.”

“But everything I know is here and . . .”

When my voice trailed off, Holly asked, “What put that look on your face?”

“Before I even met Matteo, I was offered a job in New York.”

“Bernadette is trying to steal you away from me?”

“She said she has a business there that she needs someone to run for her and . . . well, I love my job but this is your company now, you know?”

“Bella, honey, don’t dismiss this like it’s nothing because you’re afraid of change. If you decide to take that job, I’ll be sad to see you go, but I’ll always hold a place here for you if you ever need it. You’ll always have a home in Rojo because this is where everyone you love is and you’ll always have a house here because you live on your family’s land in a house they built just for you. It’s not like you’ll have to sell.”

“You’re right,” I whispered, looking at this from an entirely new perspective. “You’d let me come back if it doesn’t work out in New York?”

“Without any hesitation,” Holly assured me.

“But if I move, it’s not going to be for a man I just met.”

“Maybe he’s just a bonus.”

“We barely know each other, so I’m not even sure we’ll get romantically involved anyway.”

“Even if you just stay friends, that will still mean you know someone up there and won’t be completely alone, right?”

“Are you urging me to do this? It’s crazy, Holly.”

“But you’re young and don’t have anything tying you down but fear, Bella. Give life a chance. Experience all the things you can now. If you do, you’ll always have something exciting to look back on when you’re older and settled. If you don’t, then you might look back someday and regret not taking a chance.”

“It’s wild, though,” I whispered. “Totally nuts!”

“All the best plans are.”

◆◆◆

“I’ve been considering your proposal, and I’ve got a few questions,” I said as I leaned back in my office chair - this one in the clubhouse for the MC I’d helped start with a group of my friends. The sounds in this room, which was much smaller and cozier than my professional office where I spent my days, weren’t what you’d generally hear while you worked. There was a television in the background, pots clanging as someone cooked in the kitchen, and lots of talking and laughter. It was chaos but the best kind and one of the things I couldn’t imagine leaving - and yet I was considering it. “That is, if the job offer is even still on the table.”

“It’s still waiting for you, and I’m ecstatic to hear that you’ve been considering it,” Bernadette said.

“Would you mind if I sent you an email? I think it might be easier to get everything written down so I can look at it and make sure I haven’t missed anything.”

“Send the email, and if you think of anything else, send another. I’ll answer all your questions.”

“Thank you.”

“I’m being careful because this would be a huge step for me.”

“It would be. Uprooting your life is something you can’t take lightly.”

“I would have to come home often to visit,” I warned.

“Of course. Your entire family is in Texas, and I wouldn’t expect you to abandon them. You’ll be my boots on the ground in New York, but you won’t be working alone. You’ll have staff that you can train to take care of things while you’re away.”

“I guess my biggest question, Bernadette, is about the future - not just of my position.”

“Are you talking about a partnership?”

“Yes, I am.”

“I’m not opposed to that, Bella. Not at all. It’s definitely something I think we should work toward. I’d be more than willing to go over whatever legal arrangements you’d like to make. However, I think it might be a little early to set anything in stone. You might get here and decide you hate it.”

“I might,” I agreed.

“Let’s give ourselves a date. We’ll work out an employment contract for . . . let’s say six months before we revisit that and either extend it, end it, or make a decision about going forward with partnership plans.”

“I can do anything for six months,” I said, more to myself than Bernadette.

“I don’t want you to think we have to make a decision by then. If we need to keep it going and sign another one for six months or even a year, we can address that then. No pressure.”

“I’ll need to find a place to live and . . .”

“I’ve got a house, remember?”

“You were serious about that?”

“Absolutely. If you’d like to see it before you make your decision, I can show the house to you. Right now, Alexandria is living there, but she won’t be for much longer. Once she’s got her things out, I’ll hire someone to make whatever renovations are needed and then we can get you moved in.”

“I thought you wanted me to come before Alexandria leaves. I’ll need to find . . .”

“We have a suite at The Castello in Manhattan that you can use. I already spoke to Stamp about it, and he said that’s a great idea. It’s just sitting empty when we’re not there, so you might as well make use of it.”

“The Castello?”

“Yeah. It’s right next to Central Park. You should look it up on Google and get a feel for it, or better yet, fly up and check it out in person.”

I took a deep breath and then exhaled slowly, my mind reeling at all the information and possibilities. Finally, I said, “Let me type up my questions before I get ahead of myself.”

“Okay. I’ll answer them, and then we’ll go from there. No pressure.”

“You aren’t putting any pressure on me which is good because I’m putting enough on myself,” I said with a nervous laugh.

“Bella, I hate to cut this off, but they’re calling our flight.”

“Oh! I didn’t realize . . . Go ahead. I’ll send the email, and we can talk later.”

Once the call with Bernadette was over, I leaned back in my chair and looked out the window over Lark’s gorgeous lawn as I thought about the questions I wanted answered - the main one being what would happen if things fizzled between Matteo and I. Would that leave me jobless, homeless, and over a thousand miles from home?

I heard more laughter out in the common area and smiled. I’d never be alone. Between my family, my friends who were like family, the women in my club, and the rest of the support system I had in Rojo, I had a cushion I could fall back on if things in New York didn’t work out the way I planned.

But what if they did? Could I leave all of this . . . All of them?

I was just about to get up and join the girls outside for a quick break when there was a knock on my office door. I called out for whoever was outside to enter and saw Cydney Mason, also known as Squid, peek around the door.

“What are you doing in here all alone?”

“I’m thinking.”

“That’s dangerous.”

“For who?” I asked with a chuckle.

“I’ve never been on the receiving end of your plotting . . . thank God . . . but I’ve seen you in action. Whoever your target is should be terrified.”

“What if I’m the target?” I asked.

“What does that mean?” Cydney said with a concerned look as she pushed the door closed behind her. “Are you okay?”

“I’m confused.”

“About what?”

“Have you ever thought of just picking up and starting over somewhere else?”

“Of course,” Cydney admitted.

“But you never followed through.”

“I travel for work a lot more than all of you, so my wanderlust has been sort of tamed, but there are times that I think that I’d love to live somewhere that’s completely different from Rojo.”

“Like where?”

“Manhattan. Los Angeles. Vegas. Paris. Sydney. Somewhere big and bustling where you can get takeout Chinese noodles at three in the morning or a fresh coffee near midnight when you’re chugging away on a project and need a little boost.” Cydney looked almost sad when she said, “A place where no one knows who I am. I wouldn’t be Squid, Grady’s daughter, or Cydney, the girl who runs with those wild and crazy Queens. I’d just be Cyd, a mysterious stranger that no one has any expectations of.”

“What would you do if you were presented with a job opportunity that meant you were in charge of an established business doing something you love that came with a great salary, living accommodations, in an exciting new town far away from home?”

“I’d pack my shit and blow kisses as I drove off into the sunset.”

“You would?”

“Why not? I don’t have children who need a stable and steady household with a minivan in a good school district. I can live in a postage stamp walk-up and have noodles at three o’clock in the morning if I want to. Once I’m ready to settle down, I can come home and have all of that, but right now, the world is my oyster. Your oyster, too, because you’re in the same boat I am.”

“You’d just leave?”

“It’s not like Rojo will disappear when you get too far away. The girls and your family will always be here, Bella.”

“I know.”

“Tell me what’s going on.”

“I think I’m considering making a move, Squid.”

“To where?”

“New York.”

“Can I come with?” Cydney asked without any hesitation.

“Sure. You know I love going on adventures with you, and at least one of us needs to have a level head. I don’t feel like that’s me right now.”

“Do the thing, Bella. Take a chance while you’re still young enough to enjoy yourself and have enough time to fix things if you fuck up.”

“That’s reassuring.”

“Hey, if you want glitter and rainbows, you’ve come to the wrong friend.”

“Technically, you busted in while I was having a moment of reflection.”

“I didn’t have a choice. All of us felt a disturbance in the time space continuum, and I was voted in as the human sacrifice sent to interrupt you.”

“You’re such a goob,” I said through my laughter. “What are they cooking out there?”

“I don’t know, but it smells good.”

“Let’s go steal their food,” I suggested.

“You’re horrible,” Cydney said as she stood up and grinned. “Let’s do it.”