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37. Luxtyn

37

LUXTYN

A fter Teo gives me a sweet kiss goodbye, he and Enzo head for the city, leaving Izzy and me here with Rocco, who seems to have made himself scarce.

"I'm so sorry about last night," Izzy says as we continue with our pastries and coffee at the kitchen island. "I find myself saying that to you a lot. Especially in the last twenty-four hours."

"That idea was as much mine as it was yours," I say. I don't want her to feel bad. Yes, she had the idea to go to the strip club, but I went along with it, so I'm just as responsible. "Did Eddie end up getting in trouble for letting us sneak out?"

Izzy purses her lips and lets out a long whistle. "Oh yeah. Luckily for him he was just demoted, though. I still can't believe after all of the times I've snuck away from my guards, last night was the night I got caught. Granted, I've never snuck out to a place where my brothers would be."

"Demoted is lucky?" I ask.

"For sure. The Teo I know would've shot him point blank in the head." She tilts her head as she considers that statement. " Actually, since you and I were involved, he probably would've tortured him first, and then killed him. Draw out the process just to prove a point."

My eyes widen at the visual in my head of my husband murdering someone because of me. "Um, so why doesn't he now?"

"Oh, girl, because of you, duh. My brother's usually wound up a lot more. Not much keeps him from losing it, but with you," she says with a point of her finger. "With you he seems to have calmed down a little bit. He hasn't been so quick to snap. He's slightly more rational. No woman has ever had that effect on him. It's actually impressive."

I don't respond, but I can't help the smile that creeps on my face.

"Plus, Eddie is actually very good at his job, I just happen to be better," she adds with a shrug. "He just had Enzo rough him up a little bit and then demoted him. Might be forever or it might just be until he's proven himself to my brother again. Who knows."

Enzo roughing someone up is not something I can picture. He seems like such a teddy bear, but she says this so casually as if it's normal. How does someone get used to this life?

"So, what happened last night?" Izzy asks. "I'm assuming that things went well since you and Teo seem. . . happy." She pops a piece of her blueberry scone in her mouth.

I raise a brow at her. "Do you really want to know how last night went?"

She considers that question for a few seconds before shaking her head. "Yeah you're right. Don't give me details. Just answer me this. Is it safe to say he's not going to kill me for last night?"

I let out a giggle. "Yes, I'd say it's safe to say you're not going to get in any trouble. I took the brunt of the. . . punishment last night for the both of us."

She eyes me cautiously at my use of the word punishment, and I giggle again.

"Oh my gosh, ew. You're blushing," she says with a point of her finger.

"I'm not blushing!"

"Yes, you are. And you're giggling. You're giggling and you're blushing, and you used the word punishment like a creep. You guys had sex, I get it. But punishment?" She makes a dramatic gagging noise before shivering. "I'm officially grossed out."

Laughing, I say, "If you didn't want to know the answer, why did you ask?"

"I have no idea. I'm nosy and you're kind of my only friend, other than Liana, so I want to talk to you about stuff like this, but I've very quickly realized I cannot. Not when my brother's involved. So, thank you Teo for ruining my breakfast and my friendship."

"Okay, from here on out we won't talk about me and your brother."

"I don't necessarily mind talking about you and my brother. It's just the sexual stuff I could do without."

Holding up three fingers like a Boy Scout, I say, "I promise to never speak about Teo and I's sex life ever again. Scouts honor."

She laughs at my theatrics. "Perfect. Now, what about you guys, emotionally?"

"Emotionally?" I ask as I take a bite of my bagel, pretending not to understand the question.

"Yes, like your emotions , Lux. As in those things that make us feel things." She pauses, but I continue to give her a blank stare, so she repeats her question in a simplified way as if I didn't understand her the first time. "How do you feel about my brother, Lux?"

I laugh awkwardly. Sex I can talk to Izzy about, even if it is her brother, but feelings? I'm suddenly uncomfortable.

"Oh, well, I, um, uh . . ."

Her hand frozen in the air, holding her scone, she furrows her brow. "You like him."

"Well, of course I like him. He's, you know, cool."

She spits out a laugh. "No, I mean you actually like him."

"I mean, sure. Yeah, I guess." I don't know what I'm saying. This is all coming out wrong. Of course I like Matteo, but why is it so difficult to talk to Izzy about?

"Lux, are you uncomfortable talking about your feelings with my brother because he's my brother, or. . ."

I set my bagel down on my plate and wipe my fingers on my napkin before taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I just have never had a friend to talk to about my feelings before. I also haven't really had feelings for a guy, like, ever before, so I'm not really sure how to explain them."

Now it's her turn to set her scone down and take a deep breath. "You've never been in a relationship before?"

"Not exactly."

"Wait a second," she says, holding out her hands. "This is going to be the only question I ask about you and my brother's sex lives, but were you a virgin before last night?"

I shake my head and offer another uncomfortable laugh. "Oh no. Not at all. I mean, I haven't had a bunch of sex, but there were a couple guys. I just never dated them or anything. It was never about that."

The tight, cracked feeling on my lips from my nervousness causes me to lick them, offering them some moisture. "My mom and I have moved around a lot, so it made forming relationships with people difficult. I would try when I was younger, but then I started realizing there was no point since I would be leaving soon and would never see them again."

"That's really sad, Lux."

Shaking my head, I brush her off before giving her a smile. "Oh, it's okay. It's not that big of a deal. It's probably why my mom and I are super close. I always had her, so I don't regret a thing about how we lived our lives."

Placing her hand on mine, Izzy says, "Well, now you have us, too. Don't forget that."

We silently finish our breakfast as I think about my feelings for Teo. We're cleaning up our dishes when I finally speak again. "To answer your question, yes. I do like Teo. Like, really like him."

Spinning on her heel after throwing away the trash, Izzy gives me a big smile, showcasing those perfect teeth all the DiMaggio siblings have. "I know. I can tell. I just wanted you to admit it."

I roll my eyes. After all of that, she just wanted to rub it in my face.

"You guys are good together. You're both bringing softer sides out of each other that you might've not even known you had. It's pretty cool to witness. If you ever want to talk more about those feelings of yours, I'm all ears. They can be difficult to decipher sometimes, but I think you're beginning to understand yours better than you think."

I roll my eyes again. "Alright, I think that's enough cheese for one day. Let's go watch a movie or something. I'm exhausted and I could use a chill day. Watch a rom-com or something to help keep my mind off everything."

"C'mon," she says, throwing a comforting arm around my shoulder. "I know just the movie."

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