Chapter 18

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

C upping the mug try to ward off the cold emanating from within the events from the previous night replay in my head. Alpha had all but offered me up on a silver platter.

An unmated wolf in heat is a beacon to any alpha who thinks he can claim her. Why issue me mates at all?

"Hey."

Jerking, I slosh the hot café latte liquid over the rim of the mug with a cat with a red polka dot bowtie.

"Sorry. I was trying not to do that." Kirk grabs a paper towel and bends down to wipe up my mess. "How are you feeling?"

"Numb." I admire his firm ass and sculpted pecs in the white T-shirt and red flannel pants.

"That's normal after a traumatic experience." He stands and pitches the paper towel into the trash.

"Have you eaten yet?"

"No."

"I'll cook something. Everyone should be up soon and we'll talk."

"You didn't seem surprised last night when things went haywire." I recall the events. "What made you bring that emergency pill?"

"Alpha doesn't always fight fair. When he's cornered his methods are questionable, and his hold

has been slipping for a while which makes him desperate." Kirk gathers eggs and other ingredients.

"Let me help." I set my coffee aside, wash my hands, and grab a cutting board. "My omelet making skills are sub-par. Let me be your sous chef."

"I think I'd like that." He yields. I accept the victory. Used to being alone, my hermit healer has the tendency to fade into the background and keep to himself until he's needed.

I rinse off the veggies, grab a pepper, and start chopping.

"He seemed pleased when he announced our mating. What's changed?"

"I think it'd take more than rumors for him to make a move like this. But I can't say for sure. I'll ask around."

"Isn't that dangerous?" I set down my knife.

He offers a tiny smile. "I have a few connections I can tap into. Don't worry."

I resume dicing, and the others begin to stir. Lining the buffet-style omelet ingredients on the counter, I set the table.

"How'd you sleep last night?" Cadoc asks, walking in to the room.

"Poorly. I kept dreaming about my house." I set down the last fork and admire his rumpled appearance.

He's adorably mused in his navy-blue t-shirt and mesh black shorts.

"What about it?" Cadoc rumbles.

"I can't remember." I peer out the window.

"I saw the house, and smelled smoke." I frown. "The rest is blank."

"Is that normal for you?" Kirk asks. "Dreaming about it, I mean?"

"It happens now and then." I stare at the warped skin on my forearms. "It's not like I can ever forget."

"Huh. What do you want in your omelet?" Kirk asks.

I appreciate the change of subject.

"Ham, cheese, peppers, and mushrooms please."

"Yes, ma'am."

"You keeping things from us, Princes?" Bo walks in, black sleep pants riding low on his hips.

I want to lick the V-shaped Orion's belt on display.

"Huh?"

He chuckles. "My eyes are up here."

Clearing my throat, I lift my head. Bo shakes the bottle of Ashwanda pills. I groan. "Where did you find those?"

"You shouldn't leave things lying around if you don't want them found."

"They weren't."

"Your purse fell over in the car last night."

Bo mocking melodic tone makes me want to scream.

"And of course, you were the one to find them." I glare.

"I'm not sure where you got them." Bo stares at the back of Kirk's head, who ignores him.

I speak quickly, to avoid an agreement. "It doesn't matter. I can't take them anymore after last night."

"Good." Popping off the cap, he pours them into the sink. "Don't fuck with your body chemistry again."

"Or what?" I tip my chin up.

"You need to have indications of your heat. Imagine if that happened last night. We barely fought off two men enthralled by your sweet scent. Imagine an entire room."

I sway, grabbing onto the counter nearest to me to steady myself when the blood rushes from my head.

"Last night revealed a serious weakness. Until one of us fucks our permanent mark onto you, others may try to take what's ours. We need to fix that."

"You—."

"Before we go out in public again. Pick whoever you want, I don't care, but we aren't going into a situation like sitting ducks. If Alpha wanted to force our hand, he succeeded."

Bo's crude, but he's not wrong. Unsure what to say I nod. Better the Devils I know is the name of this game.

"We'll go shopping for groceries today. It won't be long from how ripe you smell," Bo continues.

"Do you have to be so crass?" I look away, toying with the ends of my hair.

"Are you going to pretend you don't like when I talk about how your needy pussy needs to be stuffed, Princess?"

A shiver of arousal rolls through me.

Bo chuckles. "Thought so."

"Omelets ready. Have a seat." Kirk's voice and my grumbling stomach end our standoff.

I turn and stomp to the table wishing I could elbow Bo in his gut and finish him off with a right hook when he doubles over.

"This is too much." I plop into the seat and thank Kirk for the omelet nearly the size of my head.

Kirk shrugs. "You need the protein."

Ignoring the men plotting, I dig into the cheesy veggie-filled goodness.

"Mmm." I savor the perfectly seasoned bites one at a time.

They take seats around me with thick omelets of their own. My fork scrapes the empty plate. "I guess I was hungrier than I thought."

A hand pushes a bowl of berries in front of me. I meet Fell's green gaze.

"I know these are your favorite." Retaking his seat, Fell smiles.

"Thank you." I pop a juicy blueberry into my mouth and hum in contentment.

"Are you okay?" Fell's gaze is an invisible caress.

"Mmm hmm." I continue to eat the berries.

"Would you tell me if you weren't?"

I pause. "I might not say it out loud, but there would be signs."

Fell laughs. "Yeah, your temper always burned hot once it was triggered."

"I might've changed."

"Did you?" Fell arches a brow.

"No." I finish the last strawberry and fold my hands over my food belly.

Cadoc clears his throat. "Are we ready to talk about last night?"

I lean back in my seat. "Not really, but it doesn't matter, does it?"

"No, Brat."

Fell exhales. "Was he testing us?".

Bo snorts. "It'd be a waste of power play. We're duty-bound to protect her."

Way to remind me of the burden I've become . I take a sip of water.

Kirk places his fingers on the bridge of his nose. "That's assuming he's thinking straight."

Bo's eyes widen. "Huh. True."

Cadoc grunts. "What matters most is our next move. Defending ourselves was a good start, but we need to show everyone we're not afraid. The strong eat the weak in the pack."

"How do we do that?" Fell's weary voice makes him sound ten years older.

"We show our face in town," Bo says.

I perk up. "Not you," Cadoc says.

My shoulders slump. "Shouldn't the two of you be at work anyway?" I ask peering from Cadoc to Bo, the banes of my existence at the moment.

"Silly Princess, the week after a celebration is always spent recovering." Bo clicks his tongue.

"Sorry your Highness, we don't all live up on Mount Olympus."

He snorts. "You should. We have ambrosia." He pops a green grape into his mouth.

"Enough. We'll get dressed and head into town for supplies." Cadoc points at me. "You figure out your next step."

All I have to do is figure out who I'm going to fuck first, no big deal . Flustered by my situation, I'm irritated at the excitement building in my belly over the prospect of settling the untethered bonds that exist between us.

I push back from the table and pick up my dishes. Cadoc's reaches out, grabbing my wrist.

"Words, Brat. Are you going to have a plan when I return?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Good." He releases me and I rush away. Adding my plate to the dishwasher I return to my room.

It's not the sex that bothers me, it's the lifelong commitment that comes with it. I pick up a book I'd sink into the chair by my fireplace.

Covering myself in a blanket I lose myself to the words. I have a purpose greater than being a pawn in the Alpha's game.

Turning the page, I freeze at the sight of five wolves all joined by a silver cord. I've seen this. The protector of Fenrir's amulet shall have their clan, dedicated to protecting them.

Drawing power from one another, they will work as a unit for the betterment of the pack and its People. Fell wasn't wrong, but it went far deeper.

Jumping from the chair, I stumble across the room and down the stairs. Kirk and Fell look at me from the couch.

"I think I figured out what's going on. Alpha wants to control the narrative. When he chose us, he had no idea what it meant. Someone must have told him." I wave the book.

"Told him what?" Kirk asks.

"Here. Read." I shove it at him, pacing back and forth.

He scans the book. "I think you're right."

"About What?" Fell's irritated voice interrupts us.

I hold up a hand. "Don't explain. Let him read. I don't want to influence opinions."

"Smart." Kirk hands the book over.

"He's afraid we'll trump him." The blood rushes from Fell's face. "This is bad."

"We'll figure it out," Kirk says.

"No," Face red, Fell chokes. "I–." He shakes his head.

"Kirk," I turn to the Healer who rushes over.

Fell waves Kirk away. "I tried so hard to keep you safe. And now it's all falling apart."

"What?" The anguished words take my legs out from underneath me and I collapse.

"Talk?" Kirk demands.

"I can't," Fell grabs his throat.

He shakes his head. I peer to find his face turning purple as his lips move, but no sound comes out.

"Stop." I grip his thighs. Jesus, when did they become tree trunks? "It's magic, isn't it?"

He nods.

Recalling the strange late-night calls with heavy breathing I gasp. "You tried to tell me before. Is it fading?"

He nods again.

"Why now?"

He shrugs.

"This is why you walked away from me? To keep me safe." I place a hand over my heart as the news blows a hole in the theories I'd gathered about his abandonment over the years.

His green eyes glisten with tears and I'm slammed with a million differing emotions. He ripped out our hearts, walked away without looking back, and suffered my rage and torment to keep me safe.

A knot forms in my throat. I whimper. "Fell." Hot tears roll down my face.

Sobs escape. Sorrow washes over me like a thunderstorm. Yanking me into his lap he wraps his arms around me.

The boy who vowed to protect me kept his promise long into manhood. Suddenly his strange behavior and hesitancy about everything makes sense.

I bury my hands in the longer locks on the top of his head. "Were you afraid this entire time you were going to void the agreement?"

"Yes."

I blink back tears. "Thor's hammer and Fenrir's chains."

"I love you," His voice cracks. "Always have. This second chance means everything."

"I'm going to read the books we found on the altar."

Kirk gestures toward the stairs. I appreciate the way he shows us grace by exiting to give me time with Fell.

"I can't lose you again." Fell nuzzles my neck, lapping at the gland. We were supposed to mate when we turned eighteen.

"You were supposed to come with me." My voice breaks.

"I know." He kisses my jaw. "I'm sorry."

Could his words and the truth heal the hole his abandonment left? Facts and feelings are tangled together like weeds trying to kill flowers.

"It's a lot to take in."

"I know." He holds me tight, rocking in an effort to soothe me. "Let me make you feel something other than anger. Please."

I cover his hand with mine. My heart is no longer hardened to him, but all is not forgiven. "I can't." Gently, I push his hand away and gingerly slide from his lap.

"Can't or won't?" The fierceness of his stare feels like it singes me.

"I need time to process all of this."

"I think you like punishing me."

I look away.

"Is that it? You want me to beg you?"

It might help. "I didn't say that." My nipples harden.

"No, but I saw your eyes when I suggested it."

"You want me to atone for my sins."

"Yes," I growl.

He moves from the couch onto the floor before me.

"Should I do it on my knees?"

His hands slip up my legs, massaging my ass. "Worship you with my mouth, and whisper my apologies against your pussy."

"Fell," caution hangs in my tone.

"I need confession." He pushes up my nightgown and presses his lips to my panty-clad pussy.

His hot tongue swipes at me and I shiver. "I wronged you, and I'll spend the rest of our lives repenting for that."

Sliding my panties to the side he latches on to my swollen clit and I buck against him, unable to ignore the dull ache in my core.

Moaning he teases my entrance with slow circles. I flex, eager to be full. Slick flows down my upper thighs and the brief cramping returns.

Mate him. We need it. I try to move back and he pushes me closer, sliding a long, thick finger where I need it most. Clamping down, I tremble as I roll my hips.

"There you are." He lashes my bundle of nerves, and I pull at his hair.

He adds a second finger and curves them against my front wall. I shudder. "Gonna make you feel good any way you'll let me."

Swirling his tongue around my bud as he drives into me, he tips me over the edge. Crying out I gush over his fingers; whimpering as he laps it up.

I stumble away and he wipes the back of his mouth off. A wave of lust washes over me and I peer up at him with half-lidded eyes.

I lick my lips as I rub my thighs together. Mate can bring us relief. No. I turn my head away.

Kirk reappears in the living room. "It's starting."

I mewl, needing the safety and comfort he's always provided. His tortured expression gives way to something more sympathetic.

"Let's go make you comfortable in your room." I nod, clutching onto his arm.

Ready or not, the mating time has arrived.