Chapter 20 - Heath

Chapter 20

Heath

I sensed a change in the mate bond as Freya’s pleasure raced through to me. Beside me, Gage shifted his weight on his paws, still talking through things with Thatcher.

Though I’d been worried about Freya, I enjoyed watching Gage handle the situation and take charge. If they’d wanted to threaten Freya, two Ironwood alphas wouldn’t have presented any challenge to our four, of course. But Thatcher cared about his cousin and wouldn’t put her in jeopardy — he might not be loyal to our pack, but he was no enemy.

I’d instantly seized on Gage’s plan to use Thatcher to bait the trap for Luka. It was a good plan, because it wouldn’t risk any Frost Fang wolves, and it would help Thatcher’s goals as well. I’d always known Gage would be the best pack alpha for Frost Fang, that he would lead our people in a fair way. But seeing him interact with an enemy-turned-ally made me respect him even more.

And with Freya’s lust pumping into me from the mate bond, it was hard to look at him in a platonic way. I wanted to rub along his flank and show Thatcher that Gage was mine.

But that was just my wolf talking.

Claim mate, he whimpered, and I barely suppressed the whine my wolf wanted to vocalize.

Just then, I felt Flint’s presence in the mate bond. Freya had bitten and claimed him. That must be what my wolf was talking about, right? My mate had claimed another of her mates.

The sensation in my mind was much like the way Flint felt to me in the pack bond when distance separated us. I knew he was there in the pack bond, but it was Gage that held the link between us. Now, Freya held the link between us in a different way.

Unlike the pack bond, which only allowed us to communicate to each other in wolf form, the mate bond allowed Freya to communicate with her mates in either form. It would be an invaluable method to communicate with her during the trap… if she remained lucid enough. I wasn’t sure if even the threat of danger would pull her out of the heat’s haze.

Bretton returned in human form with a red container of gasoline, and the rest of us simultaneously shifted when Thatcher started. For a moment, we all silently pulled our clothing out of our sling bags and put it on, ignoring each other’s nudity. I tried my best not to notice the erection Gage was sporting, but how could I, when I had a raging hard-on of my own to contend with, thanks to Freya’s lust in the mate bond? The friction from pulling on my pants was sweet torture.

“Thanks for this,” Thatcher said, dipping his head to Gage.

He took the container in his good hand, holding his injured forearm away from his body.

“Take care of yourself,” I said.

“Sorry again.” Thatcher lowered his eyes to me.

Under Luka’s orders, Thatcher and Lee had both beaten Flint and me, but they hadn’t wanted to. Luka had threatened their families, demanding they beat us while we’d been their captives. Only then did Thatcher and Lee follow his command. But when Gage showed up, they’d used his arrival as an excuse to free us, handing us over to prevent pack war.

“It’s in the past,” I assured him. “I know you always pulled your punches.”

One look at Thatcher’s muscles-on-muscle physique told me he’d been holding back, or Flint and I would’ve been in much worse shape. He’d done a surprisingly good job of putting on a show for Luka, while dealing the least amount of damage he could get away with. We’d only needed to stay shifted a few days to heal up.

“I better get back.” Thatcher raised his bad arm, waving bye as he turned his back on us, showing he trusted us. “I’ll look forward to your message,” he called over his shoulder with a grin.

I looked around, noticing Rowan had also taken his leave. Freya’s surprise flooded to me in the mate bond, but it wasn’t followed by alarm, so I didn’t reach out to her. I didn’t want to intrude on her special moment with Flint, and I was glad he was getting the chance to experience our little warrior wolf’s bite at last. He deserved it. In truth, I’d expected Freya to bite him first, since he was the first to fall for her, the first to believe in her — and in us as her mates — and he was the most faithful of us all.

The fact that she’d chosen to bite me first had made me feel a little awkward around Flint until I realized I was the one making it awkward. Flint didn’t question Freya’s choices. He trusted her unconditionally. I wanted to show Freya that same unwavering devotion, and it started with not invading her privacy when she was with her other mates.

“You did well, alerting me,” Gage called to the two sentries who’d warned of Ryan and Thatcher’s presence. “Bretton, send two guards to relieve these two, and let them have a day off in thanks. And then pick some gravediggers for that.”

He hooked a thumb over his shoulder at Ryan’s body.

“Yes, alpha,” Bretton answered as the two sentries dipped their heads at their pack alpha.

Did Gage notice how effortlessly he’d assumed command of Frost Fang? Sure, we’d had to root out some loyalists who hadn’t wanted to follow Gage even though pack law gave him the right to rule after defeating Nira. And there was still some unrest thanks to Freya’s rune on both mine and Gage’s faces — and now Flint’s.

Still, the vast majority of the pack seemed to naturally accept Gage’s rule. Part of it was because he was the old pack alpha’s son, even though two other pack alphas had ruled since Gage’s father died — first Garth, then Nira. But I liked to think being the Howling Echo’s pack alpha first had served Gage well. I still remembered the early days when we’d both taken some time getting used to the new pack bond between us. From the beginning, he’d done his best not to intrude on my privacy or yank my chain as his father used to do to us.

Even back in our Frost Fang days, I’d carefully kept my strong emotions out of a pack bond, for fear that Garth would notice my longing for his brother — or worse, that their father would. He’d strictly forbidden homosexuality among alphas, and that included bisexuality.

Which reminded me, Frost Fang’s roster of alphas was much too small for a pack this large. After Nira’s purges and ours, I worried about the trap we were setting.

“Have you recalled the alphas from the outer towns yet?” I asked Gage as we walked back toward the pack house. “We’re going to need all of them with us when we spring the trap.”

“I told them to arrive tomorrow, just to be safe,” Gage said. “But I haven’t told them the full plan yet.”

There was a chance that no Howling Echo alpha would be able to leave Freya’s side during her heat. Even during the full moon during her first heat, it had been difficult to leave her side for a run. This time? Knowing she might be in danger?

We would need the Frost Fang alphas to eliminate our Ironwood enemies, even if it ran the risk of one of them killing Luka and assuming control of a rival pack. They were loyal right now, since Gage and I were far and away more dominant than any of them. But if one of them defeated Luka in combat and took his place as the Ironwood pack alpha, I wouldn’t be surprised if they turned on us.

If that happened, we would have to trust Thatcher or Lee to defeat that alpha in turn, taking back control of their pack.

A small wolf charged out of the trees toward us, then shifted back. I averted my eyes when I realized it was Flint’s sister, Fern.

“I heard there was commotion over here,” she said breathlessly.

“And here you are, running straight for the danger,” Gage laughed.

“Where is my brother?” she asked. “I came to make sure he didn’t get himself injured.”

Gage and I exchanged a glance. “He’s fine,” I answered just as Gage admitted, “He’s with Freya.”

“Everything is fine,” Bretton reassured her. “None of our wolves were harmed.”

“Well, that’s good,” Fern said. “You’re not going to trust those Ironwood alphas, though, right?”

I narrowed my eyes, not liking how she questioned us. Gage was trying to lead Frost Fang differently, not through fear like his father had. But Fern’s impudence could undermine Gage’s authority with other packmates, and I wouldn’t stand for it.

“That’s none of your concern,” I growled.

Gage laid a hand on my shoulder, and my body instantly heated so much that I had to look away. Fern’s eyes narrowed, missing nothing. I glared at her, daring her to say a word after I’d just reprimanded her.

When Gage’s hand dropped, I instantly missed the small connection.

“We have a plan to deal with Ironwood,” Gage assured her.

“If you won’t tell me about it, I’ll just have to bug my littermate,” Fern sniffed.

I laughed outright. “Trust that your brother has the pack’s best interests in mind and leave it at that. And don’t be pissed when he tells you nothing more than what everyone else knows.”

Fern bared her teeth but dipped her head to me and said, “Yes, alpha.”

At the edge of town, she left us behind, watching us as we headed for the pack house.

“I don’t like the way she questions your authority,” I growled only loud enough for Gage and Bretton to overhear.

“She’s just been worried about Flint since he returned,” Gage said.

“If that was the case, why did she stay in the outermost villages until recently?”

Gage shrugged. “You questioned her, didn’t you? You tell me.”

“I only questioned her loyalty to you, nothing about Flint. I had a lot of wolves to question that day.”

“Well, did she say anything?”

“Not about her littermate. She just said that she would be as loyal to you as she was to Nira, and Garth before her, and your father before him.”

“Not a ringing endorsement,” Gage grumbled.

I glanced back at where we’d last seen Fern. Something about her didn’t sit right with me. I should have questioned her more when I had the chance — when we were swearing in every Frost Fang wolf. If I used my alpha-bark on her now, it would show I didn’t trust her, and it might even do damage to what Gage was trying to build. He’d banned omegas and wanted Frost Fang to move toward a more egalitarian culture where alphas served the pack rather than ruling through fear.

“But she did swear loyalty to the pack, did she not?” Bretton asked.

“She did,” I confirmed, searching my memory for her exact words that day.

But I’d questioned so many wolves in the village Gage had assigned me, they’d all begun to run together. Obviously I’d weeded out the suspicious ones, but the fact that there had still been unrest showed that even if they swore loyalty in that moment, it wouldn’t necessarily stay unwavering.

The urge to protect Gage’s rule, to make Frost Fang a safe place for my mate, Freya, and the packmates I had grown to care so much about, overwhelmed me. I wanted to run back and demand that Fern tell me if she knew who might be responsible for the unrest in the northern towns. After all, she’d been up there the day I questioned her. She probably knew something.

“Will you continue down the list today, or should I send them all away before I reassign the border sentries?” Bretton asked Gage.

“I will hear some more,” Gage said, “though I don’t anticipate Freya will rejoin us. But I think I will need the distraction.”

Here I’d been so focused on concerns of Fern, I didn’t really know what he meant. When I felt along the mate bond, I sensed that Freya and Flint were still together. She seemed content but I felt a renewed determination in her that made me wonder what Gage had noticed that I hadn’t.

His eyes met mine. “Will you join me, or do you have more to do to prepare for our plans?” Gage asked.

“I’ll come with you,” I said slowly, trying to guess why we needed a distraction. “Once the other alphas get here, though, I’ll deal with that part of the plan.”

“Good,” Gage said, moving toward the throne room.

As he settled on the throne, I perched on the arm of it as I had before. Gage crossed his legs at the ankles, then shifted in his seat, crossing his arms and then uncrossing them. He was probably just restless, worrying about our plan to trap Luka. Meanwhile, I felt every inch of space between us.

What I’d told Freya was true — it had gotten much harder for me to suppress my feelings for Gage lately. I wasn’t sure how things would go with her heat this time, assuming we got to enjoy it together. It was unlikely that Ironwood would show up on the first day — they would need some time to react and plan how to take advantage of our compromised situation.

We had already chosen the site of our trap: a small cabin on the outskirts of Frost Fang packlands, on the border closest to Ironwood packlands. Though wildlands separated us, we hoped that would make it even more irresistible to Luka, giving him the impression that we were jealously separating Freya from the rest of our pack during her heat, since our capital and all our major population centers were close to the borders on the opposite side of our packlands. Luka should take the chance to strike while we were distracted. Our Frost Fang alphas would be waiting to spring the trap as soon as he did.

With Luka’s reduced numbers, our Frost Fang alphas should be enough to win the battle, even if the four of us Howling Echo wolves remained occupied. Based on Freya’s last heat, she would need all four of us to keep her lust satiated, so I vowed to give her my undivided attention. Attending to her needs would prevent me from getting up in my head about Gage. Or Flint, for that matter. They would both be focused completely on her, I was sure. Any of us would do anything for Freya.

Really, it was Rowan I was most worried about. He’d never shared Freya, but he had watched while Flint and I were with her, and he’d implied he wouldn’t mind Gage and me watching the day we’d hid in the closet. Maybe that would naturally work itself out, too.

Gage fidgeted some more until the next petitioner appeared, bowing at the foot of the throne. More Frost Fang wolves appeared, a small audience forming since this was a public hearing. The beta at the foot of the throne began laying out her concerns, and Gage leaned forward, focusing on her. His answer was calm, fair, and caring.

She left, and another appeared. After that one left, I stretched, yawning. When I opened my eyes, I found Gage’s gaze on the small strip of flesh that had been revealed when my shirt rose up. Yet his gaze slid off of me easily when the next petitioner appeared.

I’d had a moment of hope in the closet that day. Gage’s body had seemed to respond to mine, but when he told me not to make it weird, I realized I must have been wrong. He’d been responding to Freya’s lust in the mate bond, not my body. Freya’s moans had gotten him even more excited, which was to be expected.

Gage had done nothing out of the ordinary since then. I just needed to accept that any hints or signs I saw were all in my head. There had been plenty of moments throughout the years that he could have acted on if he felt anything besides friendship for me. Like when the Howling Echo had reunited after the attack at Moonblessed. Freya had lit up in joy the instant our eyes locked. Gage, on the other hand, had gazed at me so stoically… I scowled at the memory.

Gage and I had been lifelong friends, and I’d convinced myself that it was enough for me before. Why couldn’t I just appreciate our friendship?

“Alright, that’s enough for today,” Gage called down after a few more petitioners had gone by.

He gestured at me, and I followed him to his study.

“What’s going on with you today?” he asked the moment I closed the door behind me and we were alone.

“With me?” I blinked at him. “You were the one acting all fidgety up there.”

Gage raised an eyebrow and then looked away. “I kept expecting you to say something, especially when that one wolf used a slur against her gay son.”

I must’ve been much more in my head than I thought to have missed that.

“Well, you handled it fine,” I said, knowing it must be true, even if I hadn’t been paying attention.

“You didn’t even let out a growl,” Gage grumbled. “You’re too busy thinking about something else.”

I paced back and forth, running my fingers through my hair. “Gee, I wonder what that could be? Freya’s heat is coming up, and we’re letting her risk herself so Frost Fang can ambush Ironwood instead of the other way around. Meanwhile, the four of us might be unable to leave her side and—”

“And that’s what you were busy worrying about?”

“Isn’t that enough?” I asked.

In the back of my mind, I sensed Freya getting excited. She was with Rowan now… and her lust filled the mate bond.

“I—” Gage opened and closed his mouth, looking guiltier than I’d seen him in a while.

I studied his features as I asked, “What is it you’re really asking?”

The lust roaring through the mate bond made me bold, and I stalked across the room toward him, coming around the side of the desk.

Then my jacked, ultra-dominant pack alpha backed up, his eyes wide. It was such a shock that I winced. It felt wrong in every way to intimidate him like this — it went against the pack hierarchy, against my nature as a wolf shifter, and against my instincts as Gage’s lifelong best friend. It was a sign of how fucked up things were between us that I even could intimidate him.

And it all but proved he was straight. Why else would he have this reaction to me closing the distance between us? His reaction would’ve been different if he felt the same way I felt.

The better question: Why was I still hung up on a straight guy? I’d never had this problem before. With any other straight guy, I just moved on to someone more fun who returned my attentions.

It really was time to set things… well, straight. I smirked and sat on the edge of the desk, leaving him no escape unless he clambered past me. We owed it to Freya to smooth things over. Even while her lust was driving us both crazy.

This was going to be the most terrifying thing I’d ever done. So I charged forward the way I usually did: using my playboy mask to protect myself even as I tore down all the facades I’d created to keep my desires to myself.

“Oh, I see,” I purred. “You thought I must still be hung up on what happened in the closet. Funny, considering you were the one who told me not to make it weird.”

Gage refused to meet my eyes. “I… didn’t mean it exactly the way you took it.”

“So, you do want to talk about it?”

My heart leaped into my throat. What Gage said next had the power to twist the knife in my gut… or to pull it out and leave me bleeding. Either way, I expected nothing but pain.

“I… you…” Gage shook his head. “Maybe I misread the situation, but—”

“I don’t think you misread it,” I said. “I think you just don’t know what to do now that you finally have proof that I’m attracted to you.”

Gage’s whole body stiffened, and I knew then that I’d made a mistake. Never before had I confessed the truth. Freya’s lust was driving me mad, and all of her talk had gotten into my head, twisting up everything I thought I knew and leaving me confused.

This was the result. I stupidly blurted out something I’d kept hidden for decades. My plan had been to ease into it, not…that.

Now that the words were out there, though, I couldn’t take them back. And maybe that was for the best… We should clear the air before Freya’s heat. Gage could put me in my place, and once he rejected me outright, my body, my heart, and my wolf would all finally take the fucking hint.

“You’ve known for a long time that I’m bisexual,” I went on, just to fill the awkward silence.

Maybe I could help him let me down easy. He could remind me he’s straight, and I would agree — again — not to make it weird.

Gage ran a hand over his beard, still refusing to meet my gaze. “I knew you were bisexual, but I didn’t know you felt…” he waved a hand at me.

Freya’s lust pumped through the mate bond, making everything dizzy and confusing for me and probably Gage as well. I was hard as a rock, and the bulge in his pants showed he was on the rise as well.

“You never noticed the scent of my lust when you were around?” I scoffed. “In all these years?”

“Well, yeah, but I just thought your libido was higher than mine, and that’s why you always hooked up after we finished a job and went back into town.”

“And all the times I tried to get you to come out with me?” I chuckled. “What about those?”

“I just thought you wanted me to get over Nira,” he protested.

“I did.”

I wanted him to get over her so he could finally wake up and notice the chemistry we shared. But that never happened. He’d been so stubborn that he’d almost ruined things with Freya, too. Thinking of Freya reminded me why I needed to straighten things out with Gage. For her sake.

“Look, I don’t want this to mess up our friendship,” I said, skipping ahead. The sooner we got this over with, the better. “That’s why I never bothered you about it. You’ve always been straight as an arrow.”

Gage let out a choked cough, so I cut him some slack. He didn’t need the scent of my desire and frustrations clogging the air while Freya’s lust left him feeling confused about his own arousal. I slid off the desk, passed the chairs facing the desk, and began pacing on the far side of the room, putting as much distance between us as I could. I had to wrap this up before I said anything I’d regret.

“Freya’s heat is coming up,” I said quietly. “That’s what we need to focus on. I won’t let her down, I won’t disappoint you as my pack alpha, and I won’t disappoint Flint or Rowan, either.”

“I know,” Gage growled. “I would never question your loyalty to the Howling Echo.”

“Good,” I said, heading for the door. “Then we’ll just pretend things are normal. I’ll get a grip on myself. I won’t slip up again or put you in anymore awkward situations.”

“Heath…”

The way he said my name sounded desperate and needy. An image surfaced of him on his hands and knees, ass in the air, begging me to give him pleasure he’d never desired before… That’s when I knew I needed to rein myself in before things got out of hand.

He’d done nothing to lead me on. He’d never once made me think he wanted me. It was all in my head.

And that’s where it needed to stay.

“Everything’s fine, Gage. Don’t worry about me.”

I stepped through the door and left behind my very straight best friend.